Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Welcome Back To Our Temporary Home, Haters!!



We do express our deepest regrets for our current crisis. We have no idea what's happened except that it has to do with being so goddamned popular and taking up too much fucking CPU space or some such thing. Math is hard!!! But the important thing is, PEOPLE LOVE US! THEY REALLY, REALLY LOVE US!!

As we get things sorted out, let's feast on this!

Fair, no? I thought it was a fair handling of this freak.

227 comments:

  1. Speaking purely as an unhinged cat lady, I thought it was fairly fair. Gave her lots of rope and she used it.
    So relieved Donkey and her pappy haven't found some cockeyed new way to sponge RBD from the internet in anticipation of her debut as America's Sweetheart. Dyspeptic here if I can manage to get the comment feature to accept my erm "credentials."

    ReplyDelete
  2. It was fair and maybe a little snide. I liked it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "...and is in the process of shutting down NonSociety, which never meaningfully distinguished itself from Tumblr."

    This makes no sense at all. It's hosted on tumblr, how could it distinguish itself? There is the horizontal scrolling I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She probably meant to suggest that people thought she founded Tumblr and were asking her too many questions about how to set up hoizontal scrolling. ; )

      Delete
    2. I took it to mean that, despite Julia's claims of founding a groundbreaking new platform, NonSociety was nothing more than a few plain ol' Tumblr blogs.

      This is from a Nonsociety press release (AKA toilet paper):

      Lifecasting, as NonSociety calls it, helps readers develop a personal connection to their contributors. Readers get to know and trust contributors' opinions the way they do with their friends. "The synergy of professional expertise and personal divulgence is the backbone of the NonSociety online platform," NonSociety's Chief Operating Officer Megan Alagna says. "It establishes a reader/expert relationship in a way not currently seen in media, making NonSociety the go-to platform for professional branding – and personal journalism which informs, entertains and inspires."

      And this is the transbraytion, courtesy of Gawker:

      So Julia Allison and fellow internet fameballs Meghan Asha and Mary Rambin have launched their big new project thing, Non Society, which they describe as "YOUR WINDOW INTO OUR CRAZY LIVES." On the site, they are each "lifecasting," which consists of taking the Tumblr blogs they already had and turning them sideways, so they scroll horizontally. CRAZY.

      Delete
  4. It's one of the more balanced fluff pieces, Jacy, but still full of her lies and distortions. Which I guess is inevitable. Great quote from you!The HULK version. Hahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  5. you all scared me! i thought she has the site taken down again before her shit show starts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whew!! So good to have shelter in a storm. I thought the same thing.
      DirtyLM

      Delete
  6. Hello, fellow sort of sad adults! I was missing you. Thanks for the emergency message.

    I'm surprised that the Observer article veered from negative to damning with faint praise. After what y'all had said I thought they would be white-knighting her like crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  7. As for "unhinged", unhinged my ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Donkey is an AssJune 12, 2012 at 6:47 PM

      Unhinge her jaw for a pair of shoes.

      Delete
  8. PMS and ChocolateJune 12, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    Great quote, Jacy! I got the vibe that the author wasn't impressed by le donk but not repulsed.

    And thanks for shelter in the emergency basement!

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Pilot" is the new "keynote"June 12, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    So if I tell a reporter that I have turned over a new leaf, am no longer a shameless liar and famewhore, that is enough evidence for the reporter to print it as fact?

    That dipshit is as much of a "journalist" as Donkey is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you get the impression he bought it? I didn't. I thought he took a very subtly snide tone.

      Delete
    2. A Donkey is an AssJune 12, 2012 at 5:50 PM

      I agree completely Jacy. That did not come off as sympathetic at all. It may have somewhat taken her at her word, but he did not seem to particularly like her words.

      Delete
    3. Julia didn't appreciate it, for sure. She posted a bunch of whining crap on her twitter about how she expected a NY publication to rest the snark, and said something like "I like how you quoted Choire, who I barely know, but not my bfflz Julia Price, who knows the real, true, awesomest me."

      Delete
    4. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, I love that she is disappointed by the article, even though it was far more generous to her than she deserves.

      Delete
    5. Yes, I think he wanted to land a few digs without coming across as a catlady himself.

      Delete
    6. He was without a doubt landing little jabs over and over again.. The only somewhat "positive" parts of the piece were her quotes and he gently slapped all of them down.. He couldn't have gone much harder on her or he would have come off like a mean girl..

      Delete
  10. The funniest Donk quote in that interview?

    "I hate fakeness."

    Uhhh, whatever you say Botox-injecting, fake hair and eyelash-wearing, "the home they shared in Coronado" news release-sending, lying-through-her-teeth-almost-24/7 cuckoolady.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Lying through her veneered teeth" - fixed that for you.

      I want to "Like' and I can't "Like". :|

      xo Bunny
      NonSobriety

      Delete
  11. A Donkey is an AssJune 12, 2012 at 5:45 PM

    My first thought was the Bravo had the site/sight/cite shut down. But then I remembered that they all hate her too.

    The Observer article was pretty funny. Even better is the way she's playing the victim on Twitter. Fuck you, A Donkey. No one's buying your, "woah, is me" routine.

    She's gone into such damage control mode, that she's forgotten that most people can see through her disingenuous faux/pho/fo image.

    Again. Fuck you, A Donkey.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Can someone please explain MMBH's comment? She warned Donkey about doing a reality show based on her 2006 experience, even though she was attempting to do another reality show three-ish years later, *with* Donkey?

    ~ Brayella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take a whack at explaining it: Mary is a complete imbecile who is incapable of learning from experience.

      See also: dog testicle purses.

      Delete
    2. Oh, how I miss the like button, AQ.

      Delete
    3. There are so many comments here that I want to like so hard. Consider yourselves all liked. Except for you Donkey, sorry. Now go find something better to do with your time. Think on this perhaps: People who continually lie are really lying to themselves.

      Delete
    4. Damnit I just erased my own comment! Anyway that quote from Mary is rich. She was on a reality show 12 years ago for literally 5 seconds that 3 people watched. She talks like she's just SO WORLD WEARY. Bitch? No one knows you or cares what you have to say. Her self-importance rivals only her idiocy.

      JFA

      Delete
  13. YAY! I almost had a heart attack this morning when I couldn't get a dose of my beloved cat ladies!

    ReplyDelete
  14. So was the author of that article saying jacy/Jp are unhinged?i din't know if I'm reading it right- it sounds like jacy or Jp had an email exchange w/ the author?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FROM: Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C Class

      No, they are saying Donkey is unhinged. The author is most certainly "nevering" a Donkey in this piece.

      Delete
    2. I thought they were saying that Julie Albertson had "sometimes unhinged" anti-fans, not that Jacy and JP were among that number.

      (AQ again)

      Delete
    3. A Donkey is an AssJune 12, 2012 at 6:46 PM

      That was my understanding as well. He was characterizing some of her detractors as unhinged, not necessarily Jacy/JP.

      Though, I still think that characterization is wrong. A Donkey is far more unhinged than anyone of her fat, jealous haters.

      Delete
    4. Well, there is Matt.

      Delete
    5. Zing!!

      (Don't ever leave, Matt. Every family needs a few b̶l̶a̶c̶k̶ unhinged sheep.)

      Delete
  15. FROM: Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C Class

    Donkey is losing her mind on the Twitters re: the article today. LO'FUCKINGL. Thanks for this temp site/cite/sight. Didn't even have a twinge of worry that Donkey took it down. She is so sad and devoid of power.

    ReplyDelete
  16. There's a teenaged girl on Twitter named julia_allison and her life seems so much more interesting than Julie Albertson's in every way. Every time I go looking for JABberwacky news, I find this little girl and her pals joking with each other like real people.

    (AQ, yet again.)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dick move for him to link to every source except this blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May have been a blessing if we got bumped off WordPress for having too much traffic.

      Delete
  18. Poor dittums:

    I had a dream that a NY publication would cut the tiresome snark for once. I was wrong. "The Return of Julia Allison" http://observer.com/2012...

    ---

    I love how certain New York types describe leaving NY as "dying" & insinuate that anyone who would choose to opt out voluntarily = failure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is as funny as her spinning her homelessness and moving back in with her parents as being a "digital nomad."

      Delete
    2. I love how she sighs her disdain and then promptly links to the article. Famewhore.

      -Donkicles

      Delete
    3. A Donkey is an AssJune 12, 2012 at 6:59 PM

      That never happened. She moved from NYC to Marina Del Bray. How dare you insinuate otherwise, you fat, jealous, hate-fucker.

      A Donkey, hear this my darling, no one is insinuating you're a failure because you left NYC. Everyone is you're a failure because you've failed at everything you've ever attempted. Check that, you've failed at every chance you've ever been handed without earning.

      Fuck you, A Donkey. You suck.

      Delete
    4. EXACTLY Donkicles. Terrible humblebrag as usual. She ate that article up. Bitch please.

      Delete
  19. How'd Donkey get him to refer to that time 15 months ago when Cindy & Jimmy McCain escorted Julia Allison off the premises as a 'recent break-up'?

    I liked the tone of the article okay, but the writer got hoofwinked in more ways than one ...

    ~ Brayella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Donkey is an AssJune 12, 2012 at 7:06 PM

      The same way that Sarah Palin can't pretend her daughter didn't bang Levi. Or how Romney can't pretend he didn't strap Seamus to the roof. A McCain dated A Donkey. It just happened. And every single one of them (save for Seamus) is a complete and total Asshole.

      Delete
  20. I thought the author laid a smack down on Julia. Yes he printed Julia's side of the story (which is necessary); but also added tons of judgy/snarky editorial qualifiers before/after each quote. At one point, he even states we aren't just a bunch of angry haters:

    "exact behavior that engendered criticism from sites devoted to savaging her."

    Fuck, look at the verbiage he uses, here is a small list:

    Julia Allison is not dead...disappeared to the West Coast and has not been heard from since...Gawker hobbyhorse, TV talking head, and leader of her would-be business, NonSociety...was once the poster girl for New York bloggers pursuing fame or infamy...whirled like a dervish...nominally a “founder”...good old-fashioned media-baiting...had an expiration date...post-mortem tone is understandable...once you are a nobody, you might as well be dead...never meaningfully distinguished itself from Tumblr...her attention-seeking antics...embarrassing fake-reality series...soi-disant...ostensible star...nominally a “dating columnist”...wearing out her welcome...Ms. Allison is unvarnished...she forces herself on one date...object of derision...aged out of eligibility...Google results are full of her critics mocking her...extreme, blithe openness...condom-covered bustier; spilling the details of her every relationship...in the exact behavior that engendered criticism from sites devoted to savaging her...“out of control”...Bravo’s editors are less forgiving...conflated fiction with reality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. It was a smackdown and I love him now, regardless of him calling me/us "unhinged." I wonder how many nasty texts and emails he's received from a seething donkey today? I am guessing: Many.

      Delete
    2. Donkey of PerditionJune 12, 2012 at 7:31 PM

      That sentence is all messed up and hard to parse. I think he was using unhinged to modify "critics", as in her "critics" generally, the royal "We".

      I'd also have to agree with him, at times, some of the commentators do come off as unhinged (myself included).

      I think a lot of our jokes make sense only to us and are made not for their explicit meaning but the subtext behind them. It's hard for a 3rd party, like the author, to pick up on those nuances.

      Delete
    3. I thought that the Observer gave Julia more space in their rag than she deserves. The author was balanced though I didn't like him calling momma unhinged

      Delete
    4. pearipathetic donkeyJune 13, 2012 at 12:00 AM

      All you Donkeyologists will have to help me here, has Julia ever received this kind of treatment from a puff piece before? Even the media bistro article was not as snark and just kinda laid out the facts--it was JAs behavior/quotes that were evidence of her mental deficiencies. Lately if seems whe she is quote or written about it was always by someone she had already sucked up to, like Nick B.

      Delete
    5. "Nor did her New York celebutante life: her fame, emblematic of the period, had an expiration date."

      Expiration date? Is this a shout-out? Am I being unhinged in hoping this is a shout-out?

      Delete
    6. Total Jing Meets FeatherbrainedJune 13, 2012 at 9:36 AM

      I understood him as saying that some of the commenters can appear "unhinged" and like Donkey of Perdition, I agree. I don't think it was a knock at JP or Jacy. Also, he totally was giving her the side eye, and sass.

      Delete
    7. This article was the first one I ever read about Julia Allison Baugher that didn't make me want to reach through my monitor and throttle the author. I now have a huge crush on Daniel's writing skillz!

      He definitely has her number and called her out in so many ways. I thought it was fair, including his treatment of us jellus haters. C'mon, we DO get the occasional comment/er that could be characterized as unhinged. If he hadn't been so stealthy with the Donkey snark, it could have passed for a post on RBD.


      In my opinion, he deserves an honorary degree in Donkology.

      Delete
  21. This blog is so very ugly right now. Please be patient.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE IT! It's so old school.

      Delete
    2. Featherbrained meets Total JingJune 13, 2012 at 9:38 AM

      I love it too. Reminds me of 2008 RBNS. Let's get some old episodes of TMI up in here.

      Delete
  22. Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison "Julia Allison is not dead." - @NewYorkObserver with breaking news. My exes will be disappointed to hear this.

    BUT I THOUGHT SHE WAS FRIENDS WITH ALL OF HER EXES? THEY CHAT ON THE PHONE ALL THE TIME, BUNNIES!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is there a betting pool on how many times Donk will tweet-reference that article?

      Ima go w/ a number between 11.5 & 73 ...

      ~ Brayella

      Delete
    2. pearipathetic donkeyJune 12, 2012 at 11:55 PM

      And they never left each others lives...as people.

      Delete
  23. Chat is available still! Come feel the love.

    http://tinyurl.com/rbnscats
    or
    irc://irc.mibbit.net channel #rbns

    ReplyDelete
  24. I was pleased that the author of the Observer piece actually had the balls to say that she's a dating columnist "nominally" since getting axed from TONY in 2009, and that he/she (can't remember) kept referring to the McCain thing as a "dalliance" and a "moment" as opposed to an OMG ALMOST MARRIED EXCEPT FOR GUAM AND THEN SHE HAD TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOME THEY SHARED, WAHHH!

    I'll take being called unhinged if that's what has to happen for all of her bullshit to be out in the open.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Ooops, that was me, Jesus. Now I'm back to being Jacy.

      But anyway. One Fat Melman, I agree entirely. It was pitch-perfect. He had to allow her to tell her "side" of the story. But he sure didn't allow her spin to go unchallenged. Which was refreshing for a change.

      I LOVE YOU DANIEL!!!

      Delete
  25. I love this:
    "“To be famous for no reason other than your ego is a fool’s game. If you want it for that reason, you will be miserable. It’s not of value in and of itself. It’s only of value if you do something like that. And I’m not saying ‘Go work for Charity Water!’ I hate fakeness. Maybe Charity Water is your thing. No bashing. It’s not mine. My thing is young women like me who had no self esteem.”"


    If I may translate: "Wanting to be famous just to be famous is a huge mistake. It's really only good to be famous if you have a message. My message is basically for other girls who think and feel like me, and how they can be like me. Which is totally different than just being famous for being me, you see? So my message is, like, love yourself, the way I love me. That's a legit reason to want to be famous, you know?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She lost me on: "It’s only of value if you do something like that."

      Do something like W.H.A.T. ???

      ~ Brayella

      Delete
    2. In other words.....her database was bloated!

      Score one for me, mcakez.

      LickedRandisCake

      Delete
    3. I love how her new job for June 2012 is being a savior for "all the ladies." JUST STOP.

      Delete
    4. shouldn't that be "fool's errand"?

      Delete
    5. total jabberwocky, our Juliar's new mission statement. She's gone back to channeling that awful teen mag editor who launched her bunny-power site when she lost her job. Who was that nutcase?

      Delete
    6. Maybe Charity Water is your thing. No bashing. It’s not mine. My thing is young women like me who had no self esteem.

      The Inaugural Bicoastal Birthday Bash had a (very lame) fundraising component, with two charities selected to fit the cutesy pink-and-blue theme. Evidently, Randi Z is the one who suggested Charity:Water (water = blue!).

      TAKE THAT, RANDI!

      The other charity, presumably chosen by Julia, was Women for Women International (women traumatized by violence = pink!). Are these the young women she's going to help with all her fame? Call me cynical, but I don't think the path to self-esteem is littered with musty prom dresses, false eyelashes, and botox syringes.

      Delete
  26. I was in a panic this morning when I went to catch up on comments and saw that RBD was down.

    Thank you Mommy + Daddy + Prof FC for providing this temporary home. And you've already made it so pretty!

    CDB is cracking me up:

    @TheTrueJA: RT @bobbaer: @TheTrueJA you spelled cite wrong


    -Dr. Gary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I assumed that was CDB when I saw that tweet (suddenly now, all the bear rawrs make sense) -- Bob's a cutie!

      The tech founder tweets are pretty damn funny too :-)

      ~ Brayella

      Delete
  27. The best part about being back here is reading through the old posts.

    ReplyDelete
  28. TheTrueJA is the first person I followed on twitter so I can thank you for joining twitter back then since I enjoy following celebs.

    Anyway, her last comment comparing herself to Zooey D was bonkers. I don't know where she gets this stuff from?! She's not likeable, hell go read her comments on the observer article or follow the popularity of RBD. I just can't with this bitch. May as well turn RBD into a fuck you $ site once the show starts next week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But didn't we absolutely call it when we said she likes that show because she thinks she's just like Zooey D's character? She is so delusional.

      Delete
    2. Also, the reference to Lena Dunham is laughable. Yeah, Donks is just like cool, hipster, talented, productive Lena Dunham. Twinsies!

      Delete
    3. Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C ClassJune 12, 2012 at 9:48 PM

      Lena Dunam gets more done by 7am than a Donkey has gotten done since 2009.

      Delete
    4. pearipathetic donkeyJune 12, 2012 at 11:51 PM

      Yeah, I couldn't stop laughing at the Leah Dunham comparison. Of I forgot, Julia is gonna get some intern to write a screenplay for her...now I see it, just like the smart and funny twentysomething filmmaker and showrunner Leah. Ugh.

      Delete
    5. A cross between zoey and Dunham .. Delusional table for one. Ass Baughers syndrome

      Delete
  29. Thank god for plan B
    Sincerely Onehundredcats

    ReplyDelete
  30. There's a new clip up on Bravo, wish I could do a screen grab but the one where she is putting on the tiara shows the busted face in all its glory. Also when she says, "What the hell is wrong with me?" - THERE ARE NO EYES!!!!

    http://www.bravotv.com/miss-advised/season-1/videos/julias-73-point-checklist

    FROM: Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C Class

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "To ... finding you on Craigslist."

      That's just fucking sad, Donkey

      ~ Brayella

      Delete
    2. Here it is: http://i45.tinypic.com/21dljlt.jpg

      Delete
    3. Also: http://i48.tinypic.com/r9ifd2.jpg

      Delete
    4. How long before she gets a Jenny Craig endorsement deal?

      ~ Brayella

      Delete
    5. Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C ClassJune 12, 2012 at 9:46 PM

      THERE SCREEN GRABS ARE AMAZEBALLS!

      HER FACE!!!!

      The second one is soooooo lumpy with fillers! It is my Scared Straight Video, yo!

      Delete
    6. Donkey of PerditionJune 13, 2012 at 2:21 AM

      That first one has crazy eyes/overly attached girlfriend all over it.

      Delete
  31. Jack the BulldogJune 12, 2012 at 8:58 PM

    Note that Julie's little foray into "expert tech" blogging for TMS and her Chicago sojourn were mysteriously absent from the puff piece. Also, Kristin Thorne is not happy with her bestie stealing the spotlght and wanted to alert you that she has breaking news, too!

    "Stay tuned for my first story at WABC. It's a fun one. Opera singing pizza maker on LI. On at 5!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i love these kristin thorne updates.

      Delete
    2. And Kristin loves you for loving them, bunny!

      Delete
  32. The slightly older crowd here will remember what a skipping LP or 45 record sounded like. For the youngsters, just read this out loud to yourselves:

    May 13, 2009 – JABa's Vanity Blog (http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/107099635): “ Either way, I’m allowing someone else’s opinion to establish or influence how I feel about myself. It’s a dangerous - and unwinnable - game, isn’t it?.”

    June 12, 2012 – JABa in today's NYO profile: “I think moving forward, the irony is that my goal for myself is to be genuinely open and genuinely transparent and not worry about what people think of me.”

    ReplyDelete
  33. Did the Observer stop accepting comments? Did they get a call from a LOLyer? Because they max out at 9 and I think many more people reading the story would want to weigh in with their opinions.

    ReplyDelete
  34. This was before my time -- WTF is it?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=UG&feature=related&hl=en-GB&v=f5I6RSLLhNM

    ~ Brayella

    ReplyDelete
  35. Can we go home now? I just want to go home. I miss home.

    In all seriousness, thanks JP and Jacy for getting us to this port in a storm so quickly.

    -SS

    ReplyDelete
  36. Also the whole "Julia Allison is not dead" andle was unnecessarily hyperbolic as she was hardly relevant to begin with.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Angle. Oops. My iPad is not liking this format. I'm said that Jessica Coen is at Jezebel. I'd assumed she moved on to better brighter things outside of the sinking gawker media. The piece was kind of blast from the pasty - I'm an old. This is Jordache btw.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I am ohh soo happy that you cat ladies are here. Also, she sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I like this. It's like camping out in a fort made of couch cushions and a wool blanket in the backyard until all the bedbugs get exterminated out of the real house. Basically, cozy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ya, its like the lines are down and candles and flashlights and canned food and shortwave radio and another storm on the way. cozy.

      Delete
    2. And of course I've got vicodin, wine coolers and a battery powered cassette player to get us through these difficult days.

      Delete
    3. You, me, blanket fort, NOW.

      Delete
    4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGwHTPMbwmc

      Delete
  40. The piece should have been called "Julia's Last Bray", or "The Walking Dead." That Choire couldn't muster anything and yet was quoted is telling. I can feel Julia spinning just to micromanage the deluge and history - if she thinks she's wronged by The Observer (which is probably the only outlet which will give her full sourced treatment), then wait til the Soup and Chelsea Lately eviscerate the Miss Advised clips (id she's lucky to go viral that way). Also, no Sony, no Hoya, no NBC mic flag mentioned. jordache.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C ClassJune 12, 2012 at 11:53 PM

      Miss Advised won't be big enough for anyone to care to make fun of.

      Delete
  41. Wow, an inadvertent trip down memory lane. They're our memories too!!!1!! And, damn, did I ever get used to WordPress.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Blind item:

    Which major internet newspaper has a catlady contributor who, assuming that she can stomach #MissAdvised (and that is a big assumption), is taking on the repugnant but rewarding task of blogging about the train wreck that it promises to be?

    Love, Anonymous Tipster

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Daily Beast of Burden, naturally.

      Delete
    2. Sassy? Jane? Time Out MDR? I'm so looking forward to this...

      Delete
    3. Reality Tea?

      Delete
    4. 'Al Jazeera?'

      gave me the LOLs.

      Delete
  43. Call me unjustly paranoid, but is there any indication RBD could be down due to a DDOS instigated by the bray beast in an attempt to silence it before her BIG DEBUT?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mmmmmmmmm...

      I don't think she's smart enough to even think of something like that. But the timing is VERY suspicious.

      Delete
    2. Hard to imagine ... never mind how inept she is, if WE aren't talking about Donkey, NO one is talking about Donkey, & she can't bear / bare / MareMare BeachHair THAT, evuh.

      Delete
    3. She is known to "clean the internet" at times that are most appropriate for her image. Any coincidence that she is "shutting down" NonSociety now? Her only "fuck you money"? Let's not be naive.

      - Andy Wintour hacks

      Delete
    4. I really don't think so. We got a message from HostGator explaining what happened:

      "Hello,

      This message is to advise you of a temporary block placed on your database. The database was found to be consuming an inordinate amount of processor time, to the point of degrading overall system performance. While we do limit each account to no more than 25% of a system's CPU in our terms of service, we do not actively disable accounts until they greatly exceed that number, which is what happened in this case. Requests to this database may become degraded by limiting the maximum number of queries or connections for a limited amount of time, or if there are sustained issues, ultimately we may be forced to block access to this database until the issue has been resolved."

      They have offered us some suggestions for a fix but they are complicated so it may take some time to deal with the issues.

      Delete
    5. Maybe the 55k -stans are attacking?

      Delete
    6. That kind of sounds like RBD was the target of a DDOS attack - or it could be just a huge traffic spike. Tough to tell, because the hosting company's way of dealing with it is pretty much the same. I used to work for a hosting company and we'd disable sites that got too much traffic over a short period of time. Did you ask if you could move to a VPS? Sometimes that's all it takes to avoid this shit.

      - Captain Gary

      Delete
    7. @Jacy

      Thanks for posting that. I think we have a lot of tech savvy cat ladies who read RBD. Maybe someone can offer suggestions on how best to deal with this?

      Delete
    8. Can we donate to get more space?

      If The Oatmeal can generate over 100k in 12 hours, we can surely help save RBD.

      Delete
    9. So, if I understand the problems with RBD correctly, we have constantly been eating 7/10 of their jar of chocolate icing (that's what it was, wasn't it?)/system CPU?

      Did you tell them just how sorry and fat we are?

      Delete
    10. just a heads up....this happened to my fairly popular site a few months ago. my host kept saying i was taking up too much resources. turns out i was under a mild DDOS attack and a WP plugin was what was baiting said DDoS attack. my host was pretty useless in telling me how to fix this, and i had to get an independent developer and sys admin to tell me this and fix it for me.

      Delete
    11. RE: Anony' 5:38's comment, how about disabling that yellow countdown clock plug-in the top right margin & seeing what happens? Just a thought ...

      ~ Brayella

      Delete
    12. She probably paid $50 to the same company that sells her the fans in the stans for a DDoS attack.

      We can have this site for our cat lady banter, but the sad truth is that the potencial audience of her show are not going to be able to see the whole history of her majestic cuntitude in all its glory.

      Never underestimate the conniving Donkey!

      -Donkeycam now!

      Delete
    13. Yeah, a sudden spike in DB activity (WP is inefficient on DB queries) with no clear-cut referring source of new traffic would lead me to think denial of service.

      You may want to see how a (dv) instance or (gs) account on MediaTemple compares in cost; it wasn't until I was there that I finally escaped aggressive limiting on my old hosting accounts.

      There's also a CDN plugin for Wordpress that lets you offload your static content to Amazon S3 which can reduce your CPU footprint (but in this case that's just a marginal gain).

      Delete
    14. The delusion of you guys thinking that it is because of the popularity of the site is pretty funny... I guarantee it's a shitty WP plug-in that is to blame. RBD isn't even in the top 50,000 of US sites on Alexa and as far as I know hasn't been linked to from a major site for ages (and don't give me that crap about Alexa rankings being worthless; yes, they aren't anything like 100% accurate, but they do show you that RBD is not remotely on the broader Internet's radar).

      Bragging about being down because of popularity when in fact it's because of technical incompetence is exactly what Julia would do.

      Delete
    15. Listen, shithead, I am a tech retard. We got messages from HostGator telling us we were using up too much processor time. I wasn't attempting to boast; that's what I thought it meant, and it made no sense to me either. In fact I just sent them another email pointing out that our blog is insignificant compared to many of their other blogs so WHAT THE FUCK and help us get back up and running.

      Have also disabled the "like" button, which someone suggested can cause this sort of thing. So no bitching about no "like" button when we get back up and running.

      Now if someone could just tell me what to do about the current landing page so we can get back over there .....

      Delete
    16. @Jacy: I'll fix it, hold on.

      Delete
    17. Donkey of PerditionJune 13, 2012 at 12:03 PM

      [img]http://cdn.funnycorner.net/funny-pictures/3745/funny_cat_pictures_271.jpg[/img]

      Delete
    18. Donkey of PerditionJune 13, 2012 at 12:21 PM

      "The delusion of you guys thinking that it is because of the popularity of the site is pretty funny... "

      I love how you try to sound all techie, talking about Alexa rankings and their reliability but don't even understand the nature of a DDOS attack.

      The word "attack" in the phrase should of tipped you off to its definition. You really are dumb aren't you, like 8th grade reading level dumb?

      p.s. I can smell you're fatness from here.

      p.p.s. donkey is too stupid to organize a DDOS attack and if it is a DDOS attack, it could come from anywhere/any reason.

      Delete
    19. Re: delusions of popularity

      The dramatic rise in traffic coincided with the mention of RBD in that Observer article. It's not such a stretch to think that Observer readers might search for this site out of curiosity.

      While I agree that the problem is most likely a faulty plug-in, your comment was disproportionately derisive. Please place a small stool in the corner of your room and go sit on it, facing the wall.

      Delete
  44. pearipathetic donkeyJune 13, 2012 at 12:28 AM

    Did anyone else catch in the Observer article that her column on Elle.com is going to be about the show? So Donkey is gonna recap her own damn reality show? Of fucking course, she cannot write unless she is the subject!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C ClassJune 13, 2012 at 12:50 AM

      So... she isn't a relationship columnist, she's a recap columnist... alrighty then.

      Delete
    2. ya and she came up with the idea herself! So canny that one.

      Delete
    3. That is so meta it makes my head hurt.

      Delete
    4. It's probably not going to be a recap so much as it will be her doling out freshwater pearls of wisdom regarding the lessons she "learned" in each episode and how she would expertly advise All the Girls to act in similar dating situations. Donkey has grown, dontcha know!

      Delete
  45. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  46. It's like we packed up and went to our lake house for the summer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It totally is! It's summer vacation!! It's a big sparse over here, but it's just for a little while! Sometimes it's good to do without the bells and whistles! We'll be back to the big city soon enough!

      Delete
    2. I'm enjoying this lo-fi interlude. Between the tone and context of the Observer article with all it's old timey Gawker references (and Gawker is an unrecognizable beast right now) and all of us getting to know each other in the dark anonymously, its putting things in perspective. It's like an ashram or Blu Print cleanse or something. Like fireflies around a founder, Julia is still towing her sad line. We've grown, but never forget. The world has grown, and doesn't care about Wired cover girl or lipdubs. Julia's history is moot when she begins a new non starter career as cable asshat. That is if anyone pays attention.

      Delete
    3. it's like our secret treehouse or something. Or our own ashram.

      Delete
    4. oops missed the ashram ref in the comment above, and don't even have to worry about being machine-gunned by a GIF!! Free at last!

      Delete
    5. It's like going to a party and recognizing everyone there. ABS

      Delete
    6. It IS like an ashram. I made vegetable water. Who wants a bowl?

      JP

      Delete
  47. Was reading old posts, and found this awesome comment:

    Preston January 13, 2009 8:47 AM

    Too bad Julia can't differentiate between "fans" and "train wreck watchers." Here's the Julia Allison Business Plan (TM) FREE to you bunnies! Implement at your own peril and watch your page views skyrocket you to Internet fame and fortune!*

    1. Make a spectacle of yourself in college. Get kicked off college paper for plagiarism.
    2. Move to New York. Change name. Wear slutty outfits and get some attention on Gawker.
    3. Recruit some frenemies to start a "web business." Throw around some stale buzzwords like "personal branding" and "Web 2.0" to get funding. Date actual successful web entrepreneurs and glom off of their funding as well.
    4. Take pretty pictures of yourself. Post some cotton candy entries so you have something to show potential advertisers and sponsors. Hope said culturally out of touch sponsors fall for your dated Sex and the City schtick and give you some free products to endorse.
    5. Free stuff! Score! Forget about your original mission "to be like The View" (Um.) and continue personal mission to gobble up free products, trips and endorsements to supplement your meager lifestyle due to lack of actual income.
    6. Pass off some press releases as your sincere recommendations and hope no one catches on. Pass of boring conversations and "reader" emails as actual blog content and hope no one catches on. Pass off thinly veiled taunts to exes and their new girlfriends as dating advice and hope no one catches on. Pass off old pictures of yourself as proof that you are really REALLY HAPPY and hope no one catches on.
    7. Lather. Rinse. Repeat, bunnies.

    * No guarantees of Internet fame and fortune implied.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Also found this very Lulzy:

    RB: Julia, Jan 12 - 3:41am

    "Meghan & I just checked our Google analytics (yes, we’re up ridiculously late, per usual), and these are the numbers for December 12 - January 11. It’s the best month we’ve had so far, and this is over the holidays!!

    We’re going to hit a million pageviews by January 20th, I know it."

    She was bragging in Jan 2009 that they were about to hit 1 million page views. So I clicked on the link someone posted in the comments for this post:

    http://siteanalytics.compete.com/nonsociety.com/?metric=uv

    UNIQUE VISITORS: 760

    -52.29%
    -77.23%

    That's 760. As in seven hundred and sixty. Looks like someone is gonna end up making Fuck You Money AFTER ALL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C ClassJune 13, 2012 at 2:13 AM

      We're all going to have a case of shame face FOR BEING SO WRONG!!!!!

      PS, I am not saying she picked the right people for NonSociety and certainly Donkey is a lazy moron who will be successful at nothing but NonSociety was a real squandered opportunity. Had she curated some really unique voices with real points os view, with the contacts she has, it could have been something.

      Delete
  49. I finally saw the promo where Julia punches the dude and says "That was a terrible kiss." Is it just me, or was there a failure to note that she was haranguing yet another dude into kissing her in that promo, by shaking him around and screaming at him?

    Body language speaks for itself here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE" is what he's saying. With his bod.

      Delete
  50. She comes across as a total faggot in all the promos. More so than on twitter, in my humble opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Denial of service attack?

    ReplyDelete
  52. a note to Andy Cohen from coketalk.....

    http://coketalk.tumblr.com/post/24983233944

    "Seriously, dude. Your programming formula is not fool-proof. Ingredients matter, and green-lighting a show EP’d by Ashley Tisdale starring Julia Allison is a recipe for disaster."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donkey of PerditionJune 13, 2012 at 9:36 AM

      Comment from coketalk:
      dietcock said: I had (mercifully) forgotten Julia Allison still existed. And now I see the promos for the show and am all like “WHAT DID SHE DO TO HER FACE!?!?”

      Delete
  53. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  54. We're populaaaar! Via the always-late-to-the-party FEK:

    "Media Trivia You Might Not Know: The entirety of the “Reblogging Donk Media Network” or Hating Julia Allison Blogging Industrial Complex is, surprisingly, quite the consistent powerhouse in terms of referring traffic."

    http://www.fosterkamer.com/post/24977070579/media-trivia-you-might-not-know-the-entirety-of

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donkey of PerditionJune 13, 2012 at 9:26 AM

      Did you notice who liked that post? None other then Mr. Daniel D'Addario, Jacy's new lover. Go Team Venture!

      Delete
    2. Donkey of PerditionJune 13, 2012 at 9:27 AM

      http://imgur.com/y7nLt

      Delete
    3. What is that loser talking about? We got a DJ Mustard Fingers type email a couple of weeks ago that was, like, "Did you see Foster Kamer's blog post?" And I was, like, no, because Foster Kamer is a chronically masturbating ginger shithead who I forgot existed as soon as was fired from Gawker, despite his desperate attempts to be written about on GOMI back in the day.

      JP

      Delete
    4. I love you JP. That is all.

      Foster Kamer is such a doucheberg.

      Delete
  55. I want to go home! I want our old life back! I like the nostalgic part of this but I'm also resistant to change, given how I am creeping ever closer to death. I'm very fond of you whores.

    --Handbag Cohen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was so horrified when I first saw RBD was borked, Handbag, because I was afraid your dream had been prophetic! But no.

      xoxo,

      Albie

      Delete
  56. I agree. That donkey ruins everything even her own snark site.

    ------Bravo's Bitch

    ReplyDelete
  57. WHEN I SAW THE OLD SITE WAS DOWN, FOR A MOMENT I FELT LIKE A LITTLE KID WHO'S COME HOME FROM SCHOOL TO FIND HIS PARENTS HAVE CLEARED OUT AND LEFT NO FORWARDING ADDRESS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i too had a sad latchkey kid moment - and they I thought, wait, what did mommy and daddy tell me to do when this happens? CHECK @THETRUEJA! And there was the answer, like magic

      Delete
  58. Please, God. Let Mommy + Daddy fix the old site. I'm so cold...why is it getting so dark? So...cold...

    ReplyDelete
  59. She definitely had somebody hit your site with a DoS Jacy. The timing is way too suspicious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really don't think so. We had a warning before and had failed to update some plug-ins and then it was fine. We're working on getting it sorted now.

      And besides, she knows that we always resurrect ourselves and that there's little point of trying to shut us down.

      Delete
    2. It's probably DB calls/info storage from the "like" system. Wonky plugin, excessive traffic = server load.

      JeFoolieh

      Delete
    3. JeFoolieh: Or maybe the countdown clock. Trying to figure out what we've installed recently, in the last two or three weeks, because it's only been since then that we've had these problems.

      Delete
  60. I know it goes against one of the main principles of Donkey Viewing, but at this moment, I am strongly in favor of poking the vile beast. The timing does seem too coincidental and if she is at the root of this, I see nothing wrong with twitter bombing the Donkey with a barrage of attacks from anonymous twitter handles.

    I'm not saying I'm going to do it. But it sure does feel appropriate.

    From a more productive perspective, Jacy and JP let us know if there is anything we can do to help get things back online, whether at RBD or a new home.

    Vile sociopath donkey.

    -SS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please don't. I don't think this is anything more than a shitty plug-in, as that cuntasaurus cuntfaced commenter above noted -- I wonder who that could be? -- and so we'll delete some of the bells and whistles and see if that takes care of things.

      Delete
    2. I know that this is weird & grasping, but since you're looking at recent happenings, I'd posted Sake Bombadier's Calf-O-Lantern pic to the Gallery (so newcomers could enjoy) -- would that have created some vicious cycle? I hope not, but maybe you want to delete it while troubleshooting?

      ~ Brayella

      Delete
    3. You got it Jacy. No poking the beast.

      -SS

      Delete
  61. I know this is the least of Julia's idiocy, but I was struck by her assertion that she is "raunchier" than Bethenny Frankel. Has she seen even a minute of any of Bethenny's shows? Bethenny is hardly a demure flower. Nor did she ever claim to be to bag a Republican wallet like some donkeys we could name.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C ClassJune 13, 2012 at 1:09 PM

      Donkey is out of her league to try and compare herself to Bethenny - I'm not even a fan but I will say the woman is a force, she is completely true to herself, has a point of view that she sticks to (she does not morph into whatever man she is dating or new friend she has made) she is a hard ass worker and a stealth business woman, UNLIKE A DONKEY, and she actually goes to therapy to work her shit out.

      Donkey, please. You wish.

      Delete
    2. Now she's comparing herself to my beloved Bravo characters? This donkey is chapping my hide something fierce. She's ruining my network. Andy why? Why?

      -----Bravo's Bitch

      Delete
    3. Bravo's Bitch - Notice the exact wording here. "Asked to compare herself..." Julia says "People keep bringing up Bethenny..."

      PEOPLE are comparing her, guys. She isn't saying that, PEOPLE are. Everyone else totally sees her as a Bethenny type. These must be the same 'someone's who "found it ironic" she is still single.

      No, Julia. Someone/people = you. Why must you always lie?



      Also, commenting here using the iPad sucks.

      Delete
  62. It's ON but clicking links still gives 404 ERROR, Jacy ... (I got so damned excited for nothing)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's usually just an "re-index your permalinks" thing, isn't it? I've had that on server moves when I forgot to do that with WP.

      Delete
    2. How does one reindex the permalinks?

      Delete
  63. CREEPY TWEET:

    @JuliaAllison: "HOMECOMING! @Lillydog & I are picking up @JuliaPriceMusic at the airport! Unashamed to be yelping along to this cheese."

    (& then she links to the song: "If Ever You're In My Arms Again")

    ~ Brayella

    ReplyDelete
  64. Want to go back to commenting on the old blog? Go to the old site. Click on one of the links in the top nav bar. The page will load, complete with the right bar containing links to recent comments. Click on a comment for the post "Is this thing on?" Comment. Lather, rinse, repeat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nevermind, it only worked briefly. I meant it at the time. That was ages ago, no one remembers. Calm down, Kevin.

      Delete
  65. Im om my mobie and get a message that i dont have permission to access the RBD site.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too.....mommy and daddy are we locked out of the house?

      FIEIRCE Mani

      Delete
  66. It's too bad because now even the page that redirected sad sort of angry adults over to this site is gone. Good luck with the fix, JC; hope it gets resolved soon and doesn't take too much time away from your desk errands.

    ReplyDelete
  67. One of her FB comments makes me think that maybe Julia did order DDOS attacks. See Tim Sykes' comment below.

    Julia Allison
    20 hours ago
    I know, I know, if I mention this show one more time ... — with Emily Morse and Amy Laurent.
    12Like · Share
    105 people like this.

    Kate Greer You know I'll be hosting a watching party!
    20 hours ago · Like · 2

    Julia Allison Awww, love you Kate.
    20 hours ago · Like

    Matt White ha, where Kate Greer
    20 hours ago · Like

    Tim Sykes I'm glad your website is ready for it...oh wait :)
    20 hours ago · Like

    Kate Greer TBD Matt White but there will probably have to be pink cupcakes
    20 hours ago · Like

    Jon Present How about Morse code for the Blog ..--.-..--.-...-..--....
    20 hours ago · Like

    Emily Morse What show?
    20 hours ago · Like

    Amy Menken Nobile Em, SO proud of you! Can't wait to watch! xx
    20 hours ago · Like · 1

    Matt White I saw a roughcut Kate Greer, its really good
    20 hours ago · Like

    Patricia Gums So proud of you! Can't wait to see it!
    19 hours ago · Like

    Gabby Velasco I can't wait!
    19 hours ago · Like

    Sasha Haines-Stiles congrats julia, look forward to watching it!
    19 hours ago · Like

    Amy Laurent Love you girls!! Woo!!!
    19 hours ago · Like

    Amy Laurent Lol @ Em
    19 hours ago · Like · 1

    Nisha Moodley We are SO excited! (yes, he is too :)
    18 hours ago · Like · 1

    Matthew Morton Klein atta girl
    18 hours ago · Like

    Sean Norton DVR set!
    18 hours ago · Like · 1

    Christine Gutierrez AMAZING!!!
    18 hours ago · Like

    Gregory Ferenstein miss your from northern california. i know the premier will be smashing
    18 hours ago · Like

    Amy Parks-Williams Emm, will be rooting for you girl! :) Can't wait to see it!!! XOXO
    18 hours ago · Like · 1

    Selena Soo Can't wait to watch the show Julia! I know you will be amazing.
    18 hours ago · Like

    Alexandra Khouri Can't wait!!
    17 hours ago · Like

    Beth Gwazdosky I've seen a ton of promos for your new show! It'd be awesome if there were more clips of you! Can't wait for the show. Everyone will love u and marshmallow.
    17 hours ago · Like · 1

    Matt Di Pasquale I watched to videos on bravotv.com. This show looks AWESOME!!! Already
    my new favorite show!
    15 hours ago · Like · 2

    Kaitlin Herrmann So crazy seeing your face every time i turn on Bravo!! Miss you :)
    4 hours ago · Like

    Jodi Turk-Goldberg julia, I knew you'd get there 10 years ago when I called you and you were writing for the paper in Georgetown! all my best!
    2 hours ago · Like

    Jodi Turk-Goldberg just wish you were my client now!
    2 hours ago · Like

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I saw that yesterday and lol'd. I think he's referring to NonSociety and how it's completely stale and shitty.

      Delete
    2. fatty kate viewing party!

      --darling dearest

      Delete
    3. yeah that's just a dig at Nonsociety being a shithole.

      Delete
    4. Malformed Face like a Bloated Deli Ham left in a Hot Mercedes C ClassJune 13, 2012 at 4:01 PM

      She was supposed to have a website ready - remember her shirtless man? Who by the way she is now following on Twitter though he has not updated since February... me thinks they are out of contact and she is stalking him.

      Delete
    5. I was wondering what happened to Shirtless McCoffee. I applaud your plucky Internet detectivery, Malformed Face!

      Hey, speaking of Mercedes C Class, I had one of those as a rental last weekend (drove down to my goddaughter's birthday party while my huscat was using our car for errands).

      Wow, it is so not special, and it handled really stiffly. I mean, sure, it was better than the Kia Sorrento I usually get at the rental place, but my father-in-law's new Camry was actually nicer in terms of interior finish and had way more pickup on hills. I can't believe Julie Albertson is paying so much for this car!

      Delete
  68. Oh dear sweet baby cheeses, I started having palpitations when I got that 404 error! Thank god you're still here. I think I have a problem.
    Wonkeye

    ReplyDelete
  69. so what is the status update on the down site ?

    ReplyDelete
  70. Umm...what celebrity would even WANT to make a sex tape with her?

    CarlyMarie ‏@Carly_RoseMarie
    @JuliaAllison I deeply detest the way journalists dehumanize the people they write about and the comments on the article were disgusting.
    Expand
    Reply Retweet Favorite

    40m Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @Carly_RoseMarie -thanks girl. Truthfully, if my only goal were to be famous, I'd save myself time & just make a sex video with a celebrity.
    Hide conversation
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    12:22 PM - 13 Jun 12 via Echofon · Details

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA HA HA HA HA HA

      She can't even get obscure rapper DeStorm Power to hug her without a pussyblocking Diet Coke can to shield him from her cooties.

      Delete