Saturday, February 28, 2009
Oh Jesus Christ, do my head hurt from last night. I drink the vodka, I read about Poofy's birthday in San Francisquin till the wee hours and then the goat give birth to baby goat and I have to deal with that (it baby boy that I name Britt). BUT I OKAY FOR NIGHT TWO!
BRING IT IN!!!!!!!
It appears Nonsociety has been down for most of the day, or, actually, since about the time Jackles got off the plane from San Francisco. Interesting.
UPDATE: It's back up! Let the reblogging begin! And uh-oh! Mary's looking hot there. Is she going to upstage the birthday girl?
And this dispatch is not from tonight's party, but last night's. Sorry everyone. I misunderstood. Worth reading nonetheless:
1. small cake
2 small rooom
3 Charity given back seat to PR disaster
4 A lot of no shows
This party was planned just as much as President Bush's Speech bloopers
If was the Charity I would ask that my name be removed from all articles and Pr statements fast.
Excuse me while I hurl into my Target white plastic waste-paper bin, lined with Safeway plastic bags. I then hope to settle my stomach with a little Pepto Bismol. IT'S PINK!!!! AND. I. AM. BLESSED!!!
"I want to be the girl with the most cake
I fake it so real I am beyond fake."
I no want to intrude on Jacy's EXCELLENT coverage of the Bicurious Birthday Debacle (Part One!), so read below. But in meantime, I like to add that Poofy just twit:
At SFO about to meet Randi to check in for my Virgin America birthday flight! So tired I barely know my own name.
42 minutes ago from txt
Um, it seems that LOTS of people didn't -- HA HA HA!!!
Also, I am the Russian Girl around here, Yulia. In above photo, you horn in on my territory. THIS NO OKAY, POOFY!!!!
I go stop the chickens from sexing one another now.
UPDATE: Wild Crazy Birthday Party To Celebrate The Wild Crazy Woman Who Celebrates Herself All Day Every Day Anyway!!!!
Because look! Jackles has a sad face because the cake doesn't mention her at all! And it's her birthday!! And it was "her" party! She kept Tweeting about "her" party! NO FAIR!!!!
Now Jackles tries to make herself feel better by posing thousands of times with this guy. He's about to burst out into a rendition of "What a Fool Believes." How appropriate! Some fool believed this party was all about her! But it seems someone forgot to tell the cake people! NO FAIR!
Pardon our non-San Francisco ignorance, but who's the Michael McDonald lookalike? He's clearly some tech giant since Jackles posed for about 8,000 "paparazzi" photos with the guy. So. Much. Fun!!!
In other photos, this appeared to be a sparsely populated party. A smattering of people dressed casually and looking bored in a half-empty bar.
UPDATE: Michael McDonald appears to simply be a photographer. And that cake photo, it says it all, no? This has been planned for weeks but Randi's friends and family simply forgot to put Jackle's name on the cake too? She basically crashed some other chick's party -- one more popular, more connected and better-liked.
UPDATE 2: Photo captions added.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tonight is Night One of the Bicurious Birthday Bash, and Yulia in San Francisco acting crazier than my poor cousin Bogdan who got kicked in the head by pack mule when he little boy.
Poofy post the pictures from last year:
All I want right now are cupcakes.
27th birthday … yep, that’s a Betsey Johnson, straight off the runway. FAVORITE DRESS EVER.
Poofy post the Momser cards:
My mom always draws me an electronic birthday card! It’s one of my favorite things in the world … here are a few from the last five years. (This one is from my 27th.)
Poofy cancel location. Poofy not have Cinderella Ball Gown. Poofy get new super-secret, members-only location but then Gawking tell the universe.
WHAT SHE GONNA DO?!?!?!?
And more important, WHO DRINK ALL MY VODKA?!?!?!
UPDATE: She twit with the sausage fingers!!!!!!!!!!!
LATE TO MY OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!! shocking
12 minutes ago from txt
Of course you are, Poofy.
I can haz birfday partee?
11 minutes ago from txt
Oh, Yulia, even my fat tabby Nadya can do better LOLcats than you. AND SHE HAVE AWFUL HANGNAIL!!!!!!!
Leaving for my SF birthday party NOW!
Those earrings .... verrrrry classy. If you're 12!
And once again, it's simply become "my" birthday party now. What about Randi Facebookzucker, the one who actually lives in San Francisco and is pulling all the guests? And by "all the guests," I mean all 20 of them, if Jackles' pleading Tweets begging people to show up are any indication.
UPDATE: Backdated to let Russian Girl's far superior birthday post stay on top!
The same argument breaks out fairly regularly in our comments section: who is more vile? Julia or Mary?
Now it may come as no surprise but my money's on Jackles in this argument. Please understand: on her own, existing in a world where there was no Jackles, I would find Rambo tiresome, snobby and vapid. But fortunately for Rambo, when positioned next to her frenemy, she comes out on top.
Let's examine her recent response to a reblogger:
I just read your reblog of my ugly feet and I have a question…
What is it you would like to see on my lifecast?
I post about my life, fashion, beauty product reviews, restaurants, fitness, recipes, and videos of my experiences. From your post, you are obviously not satisfied with this, so I am genuinely curious what else you would like to hear about from me.
As for not giving specific details about my travels - that is to protect the privacy of the people I’m with so they don’t have to undergo the scrutiny of the haters and certain media. Certainly you can respect that.
Looking forward to hearing your input.
Huh. What? No showing up on the reblog at all hours of the night and day under various aliases to tell everyone how "jealous" they are? No laughable attempts to get a a reblogging reblogging blog started up that is greeted with yawns and/or ridicule? No sending "Paul" over here to taunt and harass commenters with about as much wit and smarts as Sarah Palin?
Nope. Just a simple blog post: Hey, so you don't like me. OK. So what would you like me to do differently?
My biggest issue with Jackles is how sneaky and dishonest she is. She is rarely, if ever, honest about herself or what's going on in her life, and that's why this whole "lifecasting" thing is such a joke. She's not "lifecasting." As Flatface pointed out yesterday, she is performing, and she is expecting her readers to believe her manufactured fairytale despite the odd appearance of genuine nastiness to her supposed friends and former acquaintances that rears its ugly head.
Mary is snooty, entitled and dumb, but I've rarely, if ever, noticed her lying, never mind lying every day in almost every post. She's also never violated anyone's privacy -- not old boyfriends, not friends suffering from cancer, not friends who engaged in private IMs or e-mail exchanges with her, etc. She doesn't seem to use her space on the Internet, either her blog or her Twitter, to endlessly attempt to settle personal scores the way Jackles does either.
And on camera, compared to that obnoxious, dishonest braying donkey she's sitting nearby (I wonder when we'll get that cranberry-spinach-collard-salsa guacamole recipe, by the way?), she comes across as prepared for the discussion, somewhat intelligent and at times quite funny, charming and self-deprecating.
That is all.
The other one? She's like a blank slate. I simply have no opinion on her whatsoever anymore; she's just too boring.
Anyway, commenters: weigh in. And be nice! There is no right argument here. We are dealing with a pair of assclowns, remember, one slightly worse than the other depending on your point of view.
What do you think is the most difficult adult relationship to maintain?
Remember when Happy, Boozy and the other one started deleting comments on their web site and started this whole shit storm that we are in now? Remember that???
Talk amongst yourselves.*
*This is reference to 1992 movie and to even earlier sketch on American comedy show that even my PIGLETS were sick of by winter 1993. And yet Poofy go there.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I wish there were Birthday Bridesmaids.
I speak pretty good English and even *I* not sure what Poofy going for here. You want to be marry by next year? You send secret coded message to mens you are going on second dates with? Or wait, you want TEN LADIES to be your BESTIE PALS IN PRETTY DRESSES because it is your BIRTHDAY?!?!?!?
Even as fantasy with tongue in cheek, this is loonball.
This bipolar birthday is going to be doozy.
Flatface: There is something kind of weirdly psychedelic about the turn Nonsociety has taken. It was born as one of those web 2.0, new-media pioneering projects. Kinda like Rocketboom, I guess. An example of how the new tech savvy do-it-yourselfers were going to bypass traditional print and broadcast media and go straight to their audience. They would equal, even surpass, the stuffy mainstream media in content. They’d just be quicker, hipper and more nimble. Yaa.
But as people began to figure out - years ago - a bad reception on the web is louder than a bad reception at the newstand or on tv. You can’t hear people laughing at you when you’re at home reading Maxim, or watching Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip. On the web, even on a site where there are no public comments, you quickly find the peanut gallery, even if you’re not looking.
Also, in NS’s case, they courted so much attention from within and outside the Web, that they are actually covered, at least a little, by sites who are better news gatherers than themselves. And so they just keep getting burned. So, we know for instance about their internalk strife, and the cancellation/non-subscription of their hoped-for reality show, their trouble with funding, their attempt to silence critics, and the problems they’ve caused for their other mid-profile friends by talking about them. None of that, though, is discussed or even mentioned in their strange web magazine. Which, objectively, is kinda like a internet version of Seventeen magazine. But without the production value.
It’s like a reality show about a reality show. They are trying to put a reality-based product out, one about their lives (lives as producers of a show about their lives? But with iPod accesory tips and party photos, too?)
And yet the facts that scream out from the rest of the audience tear huge holes in the world they’re trying to present on their site. They are giving us a revolutionarily real product, supposedly, that is revealed to be fake at the exact time it’s happening. They do a heartfelt discussion about a cleanse diet, for instance. But elsewhere it’s revealed they’re being compensated by the cleanse company. They have to back up, explain. Or Julia gets fired form her high profile Star gig, and tries to spin it. But is caught by Gawker, and snitches inside Star. On and on, it goes.
They cannot contain the content of their story to their website. Gawker takes a bite. Valleywag tosses a tomato. Random twitters bump the record player, and the song skips. The blogs call out. They are no longer directors of the story - the story of them. They really have become unwitting characters of their own soap opera.
It looks like a play, in a theater where the audience is booing and hollering and throwing things on stage, busting lights and knocking the cast down. But the actors are sooo determined to keep on with the play. They continue to grin and dance and wink at the audience. Even as the curtains are burning. They just try to sing louder. At this point, they are performing their lives. Not living and “lifecasting” them..
I don’t think we’ve ever seen anything quite like this. It’d be like having a live audience follow the cast of the Real World, jeering them, and instantly producing people from the cast’s past to contradict lies the Real Worlders tell each other. As it happens.
And then there’s the NS show itself. The whole country is queasy nervous. Everyone i know, espcially in the media-heavy crowd which I’ll bet makes up a bulk of NS’s audience, people are really worried about losing their jobs. And it’s also one of those times when even people who aren’t interested in politics are paying attention to the world. The Obama election was the same sort of life-stopping earthquake as 9-11, just on the polar opposite end of the scale. There’s this low-level buzz that the two wars we’re hoping to get out of could suddenly blow up out of control. It feels like one of those times, when environmentalists and progressives have a chance to re-write the scene for the US.
A little like ’68, maybe.
And the show they were trying to put on? Pink birthday parties. Cupcakes. Shoes. Re-heated Sex and The City aesthetics, with none of the sisterhood warmth that helped make that show a cut above drivel. Clips of doing karaoke at the Davos conference. Like bringing a cat to the opera. None of them had the first clue what was going on around them. In fact, going to Davos wasn’t really in keeping with their editorial mission anyway. Relationship advice. Single living tips. The latest consumer elctronics. Light stuff, breezy. That’s them. But they went to Davos. Why? They never say. It just seemed Capital-I Important, I guess. Truly, truly magic-mushroomy weird.
I actually think someone smarter than me could do a good American Studies/ Sociology dissertation on the rise and fall of NS and what is says about this period and this demographic.
That is all.
I think a lot about this, especially around Birthday Time.
How do you keep yourself Happy? Email me - Julia@NonSociety.com - I’ll post the sweetest, most creative or thoughtful responses and/or any that mention repeated singing of The Little Mermaid. Which just may or may not be playing on my laptop right now. I’m not saying either way. hahaha
# ONLY 48 HOURS LEFT AS A 27-YEAR-OLD.
When was the last time any of you, as grown adults, even entertained a similar thought? Maybe the day before a milestone birthday, like 30 or 40, you might think to yourself: "Hmm. Tomorrow at this time I will have kissed my 20s good-bye forever."
But "ONLY 48 HOURS LEFT AS A 27-YEAR-OLD?"
Jackles: You're not in middle school anymore.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Dan: [GIRL ISSUES]
Me: Hold on. Now is not a good time to talk about this. I'm in the middle of a meeting!
Me: Can we talk about this tomorrow?
Dan: oh fiddlesticks
Me: You seriously just used the term "fiddlesticks"?
Dan: Yeah, I was thinking about your dad.
Me: Even my dad is cooler than that.
Dan: Your dad is not cooler than anything
Wait minute, missy. You blow off ex-boyfriend WHO HAS THE CANCER because you have PRETEND PINK MEETING? And because HE WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIIIIIIM?!?! She too much, this one.
Read all about Guestofaguest.com's prediction that Jackles and the Eater guy will end up together. Wait til Jackles gets a load of this! It's a dream come true!
Um. Wow. Just ... wow. Grin!! HAPPY!!!
I am SO. BLESSED. And so FREAKING. HAPPY. RIGHT. NOW.
Was it THIS doctor? (He create monster -- HA HA HA!!!!!)
Okay, I go clean up pig poop now.
RussianGirl is currently crafting a post to replace the one about one of JA's alleged suitors. We here at RBNS shared some of our commenters' concerns that, in fact, we didn't know if that guy was THE guy, and even if he was, we agreed that he didn't ask for any publicity -- that's the sole terrain of Jackles, who may or may not have been someone he's dated and, if so, someone he will certainly soon regret dating.
RG has heard, however, that Jackles might have another doctor in her sights. Post to follow.
A couple of things:
1. This is clearly a "fuck you" to poor Charlsie.
2. No more talk of Jackles's weight. Look at her waist here. Tiny tiny tiny. Like her soul and brain.
And then there's this. Sorry for the delay in posting. We had our wires crossed on this one and it got lost in the shuffle. So funny how she shits on the Huffington Post when she's dying to write for Arianna and crashed her inauguration party:
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Listening to a stellar State of the Union. Impressive work, O. Energy, health care, education, fuck yeah!24 minutes ago from txt
1. It actually wasn't a State of the Union address. The White House has been making that point for weeks.
2. Seriously? Are you kidding us? Because, what, you're so interested in energy, health care and education all of a sudden? Note to Jackles: Energy doesn't mean three days of yoga poses in an attempt to impress a married gazillionaire. Health care doesn't mean botched Botox injections from Dr. Bobby. And education doesn't mean pretending you're smart enough to apply to Harvard Business School, and then never mentioning it again upon the realization that you aren't.
Not sure it happened, but I got a hot ski bum all to myself! Although not a bum at all, Hank loves the title and truly does ski like a pro. Video of him dominating the moguls to come soon.
Looks like Mary has quietly found herself a hot piece of manliness while JA is trying to make an ex-boyfriend jealous by suggesting in what seems to be a vivid, Twittery fantasy world that she just got laid by some apparently cheesy-looking old doctor.
Does anyone know who this Hank fellow is?
You see, this is why we can't help but have just the tiniest bit more respect for Rambo than Jackles. This isn't the first time she has quietly dated and been steadily getting some action without broadcasting it to the world via Twitter or her hideously misspelled blog.
Maybe this Hank isn't the guy she's away with, or maybe he is, or maybe he's the son of some old-man Sugar Daddy she's landed, or maybe he's just some guy she met on the chairlift going up the hill -- she's left it unclear. And that's the point: Mary apparently has at least a modicum of class, and values her privacy and the privacy of the men she's banging. I am guessing she wouldn't have even posted that photo without getting his OK.
Contrast that to her frenemy, who once Twittered nastiness about her dining companion from the bathroom while on their first date and scared the living crap out of "the ineffable Alexander Marquandt" for blogging about him ad nauseum for two days simply because he didn't tell her openly to piss off while she was bugging his ass during the inauguration.
p.s. When WAS the last time we saw Jackles use the word "ineffable?"
As Jackles herself would say: Wow. Just wow.
Merely hours after her public Twitter smackdown from that Eater Guy, the ex-boyfriend who has been pointedly ignoring her Tweets but finally sent her back one yesterday apparently designed to get her vaguely stalk-y ass to leave him alone, Jackles posted the above picture with the proclamation:
I am so happy right now. … Uh … I guess I should pack. HAHAH
Oh. Dear. I mean she even looks barking mad there too, no, and Fran Drescher-y? Have the wheels finally come off this bus?
Naturally, there were some subsequent Tweets, in this order, aimed at enticing and titillating with no awareness that in fact, all they truly prompt is the strains of the Psycho theme:
# well, wow. oh, wow. wow. just, wow. mmm. yay! grin. about 7 hours ago from web
# @MeghanAsha - car will be at my place at 8 am to pick us up for SAN FRAN! God, life doesn't get any better than this. about 7 hours ago from web
# @benleventhal I hate you. EMOTICON EMOTICON EMOTICON, suck it! about 7 hours ago from web in reply to benleventhal
# I'm sitting in front of my laptop wearing only an aqua blue tutu, too excited to pack. MEEP! This is what a glass of champagne does to me. about 5 hours ago from web
Poor Meghan. Poor, poor Meghan.
And more looney tunes. A reader points out this, apparently about Jackles, on Mary's gay boyfriend Adrien's site:
Which camera-obsessed, ass-kissing blogger/wannabe socialite accused me of sabotaging her when her photo was not posted to Film Magic from a Fashion Show and mine was?
Despite my reassurances that I had indeed given both of our names to the photographer, she proceeds to block me on Facebook after weeks of sending me suck-up, delusional emails in which she called herself a “real star.” This woman is about as genuine as a Chinatown weave and will push her way onto any red carpet despite having no reason to be photographed.
It cannot be Mary given she announced on her blog last night she will be featuring fashion tips for men from Adrien. How tense must things be right now between Jackles and frenemies?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Every few weeks Jackles Tweets something painfully pathetic his way. Today she pleaded with him to recommend a restaurant because, you know, New York City suffers such a dearth of decent places to eat. And he replied in a deliciously nasty way. Click here to get its full, delicious effect. Well played, Eater guy.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
She's posted various photos of hideous pink girly dresses -- an obvious attempt to get some retailer/designer to offer her their creations for free -- and pictures of hairstyles that she's pondering for the Big Day! Her 28th birthday! It's a huge milestone, people! 28!!!
And oh yes -- there's this vaguely sinister plea for help shortly after mentioning she had a "second date with the doctor" tonight:
I have voicemails on my phone I want to transfer to audio files on my laptop. Anyone know of an easy way to do this?
Good Lord. Is this what's next? It's not enough that she blogs private e-mail and IM exchanges, but soon she'll be posting audio files of the messages left on her voicemail? Why doesn't she also install a camera in her bathroom and post videos of her guests peeing?
By the way, just two questions I'd like to throw out there. We could make this a regular feature, actually.
Whatever happened to:
1. The ineffable Alexander Marquandt? Is he still in the nuclear-attack-proof Pentagon basement, afraid to emerge after two solid days of getting Jackled on her blog and on her Twitter and then never mentioned again after a cryptic Tweet accusing him of being vain for objecting to her lunacy?
2. Harvard Business School. Is she still waiting to hear back about whether she got accepted? Surely they can't refuse her now, can they, after that stellar Davos performance?
Jackles is nothing without hyperbole. After seeing all five best picture nominees back-to-back yesterday, she went on about what an "incredible day" it was and how these five films were the most awesome. movies. ever. made. because. they. affected. HER!
All five were the most beautiful, moving, intelligent, thoughtful cinematographic art I’ve seen in years, maybe ever. I’m still trying to process them.Even weirder were her Tweets later in the night about the confirmed recurrence of her ex-boyfriend's cancer. Terrible, gut-wrenching news. But once again, Jackles feels the need to broadcast his very private and traumatic news publicly, to thousands of strangers, with his name attached, and to recount their long conversation in a way that brings the focus back to her ... again.
I do know this: every single one of them taught me something, and I spent more of this day in tears than I have since I was a teenager. That’s saying something.
# "Nobody who calls you 'Julia Allison' actually knows you." -[redacted], 4:37 am about 5 hours ago from txt
You just find out someone you love -- "at least I know he knows I love him," you Tweet -- has had a recurrence of a deadly disease. Is this what you talk about? You? What he knows about how YOU feel? Your public perception?
UPDATED: I redacted the name of JA's sick friend in her Tweet. Hypocritical of me to leave it in while calling her out for publicizing his troubles. Will also kill out a comment I just made that makes reference to him and replace it with one that doesn't include his name.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Sorry you haven't seen many posts on my end of late. But Jacy and Russian Girl are doing a lovely job. And how great is it that Baugher's back, and maybe even more often?
Anyway, this is just a little note to say that my interest in NS has waned. Seriously, I think I have some kind of attention deficit disorder, or perhaps I have just succumbed more quickly to what Baugher described in her(?) most recent post. I doubt I will be posting much anymore, if at all. Hell, maybe I'll even hand over the keys altogether.
It's been really fun. Some of you commenters are hilarious. Seriously, I want to be friends. (Dyspeptic, I'm talking to you. Among others.)
Well, I'll still be here for a while, if you want to send an email. We'll figure out what happens to the site, logistics-wise, soon.
This is what her sausage fingers type:
Just finished MILK - excuse the cliché, but there wasn't a dry eye in the entire theatre. Wow.
about 10 hours ago from txt
Okay, not bad start.
Whoa. 15 minutes into The Reader and I've already seen Kate Winslet's (admittedly impressive) ass and breasts. Well then!
about 9 hours ago from txt
Here she go.
Who wants to join me for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at 3:45? Or Slumdog Millionaire at 7:15? Free passes AND popcorn!
about 8 hours ago from txt
She get desperate.
"It's never too late to be who you want to be." - Benjamin Button
about 5 hours ago from txt
She get quotey like she do.
Final movie in AMC's BEST PICTURE SHOWCASE: Frost/Nixson (sitting next to @jesscoen)
about 1 hour ago from txt
She find friend and happiness and success and drop the name. THIS SHIT JUST WRITE SELF!!!
I go put pistol to temple now like the Chekhov person. Bye bye.
Suffice to say, the list went on so long, and was so dementedly self-involved, that even the most fervent self-help guru would have cringed in embarrassment. It also led to some belly laughs because even as Jackles yammered on about the importance of "forgiving people" and "treating people well" in 2009, she was publicly calling Mary a bitch for refusing to do a similar list of resolutions. Instead, Mary simply and succinctly said her goal for the year was to be less of a bitch. And for that, was called a bitch! What a bunch of crazy bitches!
But we digress!
Here's one of her resolutions:
SLEEP MORE! Shoot for being in bed by 1 am, lights out by 2 am. NO LATER THAN 3 am at least 6 nights a week! ABSOLUTELY NO MORE ALL NIGHTERS.
And yet? Some recent Tweets:
4:20 a.m. We have 12 hours of Best Picture Nominees to get through tomorrow @ the AMC Oscars screening(s), and I'm still awake. Er ... oops? about 5 hours ago from web
Re: this georgetown applicant rec, can I write: "This girl is the SHIT, yo! Let her in, for serious!!" I really want to. What?! Bad idea? 4:03 AM Feb 15th from web
And of course these ones are already good for a laugh:
NonSociety Related: Perfect NonSociety 1.5, and launch NonSociety 2.0. Integrate contributors by Quarter 2 or 3 at latest. Raise angel investment money. Get views up to 3 million by April. Really bring A game content. Start NonSociety Book of Whenever the Hell We Want Club.
Raise TMI viewers to 250,000 per episode by March, 500,000 by June, 750,000 by Sept, and a million by December 2009.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Oh Jackles. Taunting a sleeping Baugher? Not a good idea. Remember, bunny -- she has all those nasty e-mails you sent her about your supposed BFFs!
BUT THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO POOFY!!!
At August: Osage County with my mom. It’s unREAL.
I am a large lover of the theater and have no words. This is sacrilege.
Suck it, poofy.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
This is me doing my “FIERCE” hand movement. Do not try this at home.
This joke beyond tired even in my village of Omsk and she manage to make it six times -- SIX TIMES! -- including on the Twit. Is this the journalism she bray about?
Fierce? or Not Fierce?
I not kid. You see what I am meaning?
These are the trousers of my dreams.
Oh, really, poofy? Really? Is it because they remind you of these ones:
I just say.
Remember that hilarious post Jackles wrote about how she could have been Obama's speechwriter, just like Jon Favreau, if she'd simply stayed in D.C. and followed a different path? I refuse to link to it. Just suffice to say it was one of the most howlingly funny, and profoundly delusional, posts she'd ever written.
I eagerly await the post we have in store for us if the man she once dated (Did she ever sleep with him? Does she ever sleep with any of them? It's never clear -- many have used the word that rhymes with mocktweeze to describe her) is named to Obama's cabinet.
She could have been a D.C. power wife!!! If only she'd followed a different path!!!!
Oh, no, this make me sadder than the time my cousin Ivan go ox tipping with his friend Kirill and have bad outcome for the animules.
Yulia is luring Momser over to the dark side. What happen to intervention?
(And by "work" in headline here I mean "show up only if you feel like it and take photos of cupcakes.")
What prompted this latest upswing?
Well, less than an hour after David Karp was forced to bow to howls of outrage from those blogging on Tumblr, including the many who shut down their blogs and departed, and criticism from the New York Times and beyond about deleting Tumblrs that were critical of our Jackles, and less than 24 hours after she had crowed with glee about the death of those very Tumblrs to Valleywag, Jackles tweeted this:
hehehehehe about 10
hours ago from web
It was almost chilling, really. Was that a giggly "hehehehe" or a diabolical "hehehehe?" But soon the tried-and-not-so-true old-style JA strategy emerged:
about 6 hours ago from txt
And then this old saw, just in case anyone briefly pondered, after Tweet No. 1, that perhaps Jackles had initiated some kind of really ill-conceived, backfiring PR stunt with Karp designed to get them some attention:
I feel very, very blessed.
about 6 hours ago from txt
Nope, no worries, everyone -- Jackles is just back to doing what she thinks she does best. When revealed to be the fraud (Jules, honey, "journalists" don't advocate censorship) and the foot-stomping, grade-A douchebag that she is, she reverts back to her tedious defence mechanism: to pretend she doesn't have a care in the world! "What's that, you say? The Internet hates me?? I wouldn't know and why would I care? I am just SO HAPPY right now! I'm blessed, do you haters hear me? I am positively blessed! Oh, I know I was just blogging the other day about how depressed and exhausted I am and how I hate my appearance and how I am NOT fat, goddamn it, it's just that my closest friends are anorexic! And I realize I looked like a total ass gloating to Valleywag and publicly emasculating my "friend" and investor David Karp! But pay no mind! Don't listen to me! But wait -- listen to me now. I AM HAPPY!! BLESSED, DO YOU HEAR ME??? I. AM. SO. FUCKING. HAPPY."
Mom and Dad Baugher truly are arriving in the nick of time. Somebody needs some chemicals. The kind that aren't injected by Dr. Bobby.
That Edenic fall occurred one fall afternoon when walking across campus with a professor and finding ourselves ensnared in what appeared to be a poorly staged play near the Healy Gates being put on by a group of eighth grade girls who had just received their Thespian Society certificates. We were walking towards the library when a brunette in a short skirt ran near us and screamed to her posse of morons: “Who cares if I’m dating a senator? It’s nobody’s business but ours!” Said brunette, who seemed older than the other students, was comforted by some Mary Rambin-in-training type, yet the creature in the tartan skirt ran from Mary manqué and to a tree, emoting for the ages about just how desperately she wanted no one to know that she was dating a senator.
When the professor and I were able to get on our way, he turned to me rather flustered and said some something like: “What exactly was that?” My response: “I’m not certain. But do you think she’s dating a senator?”
And so it began.
To be continued ...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
This is the most very important shot of the fashions of the 2009 fall season right here :
This is what happens when you put them in your mouth:
I go spin class now.
I’ve read several hundred responses from users who are upset about the recent changes to our Content Policy.
First, let me again apologize for taking action before publicly explaining these policy changes. Some internal confusion lead to five accounts being suspended prematurely.
To clarify, this policy specifically targeted “reblogging-blogs”, where the sole purpose is to repeatedly reblog posts from a specific user or group. We view this as an abuse of our reblog feature, which places accountably on the identity of the poster.
While there are still relatively few blogs of this genre on Tumblr, they’ve become an increasing detriment to our service as they’ve started to proliferate.
Our moderators make no determinations about your posts, except for spam and illegal content, and we have zero interest in censoring your voice. But we now realize this is the first time our Content Policy forbids content that is potentially meaningful.
After giving this serious consideration, we think it would be more appropriate for us to give you the control to police this content, rather than our moderators. So we’ve hurried to finish a new block feature that will let you filter content from your post notes and Dashboard.
In light of all this, we’ve decided to restore the accounts affected, and remove the language in question from our Content Policy. It was a miscommunication that lead to these accounts being removed prematurely, but it was my decision to leave them off. In retrospect, this was the wrong decision, and I hope we can work to regain your trust and continue building Tumblr into something great.
Some points on this mea culpa:
1. Whoever the clever commenter was who noted the power of a negative New York Times piece -- you're bang on.
2. I do wish young David would learn that the word he's looking for is ACCOUNTABILITY.
3. Once again, whatever Jackles touches turns to shit. She just HAD to send an e-mail to Gawker crowing triumphantly and using big words and concepts that she doesn't understand. What did that achieve? It made Karp look like her whipped little lapdog. Even a 23-year-old who likes to post photos of himself dry-humping Charles Forman possesses some male pride, Jules. What a dumb bunny you are.
p.s. Charles Forman is hot. I wonder if his hearing has returned after the tinnitus he suffered while dating Jackles?
UPDATE: Valleywag has a post. The comments are always fun.
Trying the hair up for the second half of today. This morning I wore a headband with a little green summer dress and I felt … dowdy.
Hey, Jackles! Since you're paying such close attention, could you try something else for us? Like closing up your blog and getting some extensive therapy? Thanks.
What an interesting couple of days it's been, huh?
We talked to Baugher last night (who, by the way, is 100 times the writer Julia ever hopes to be). She is, as noted in a comment below, a little surprised (to the say the least) about what went down.
But lucky for all of you, we were able to salvage most, if not all, of the content from Reblogging Julia.
And now, just because we love you, we're going to let you experience it all over again. We will post, one by one, all the entries over at the NEW Reblogging Julia, just so we can all relive the good times. The inaugural post is up (backdated for accuracy), and there will be more to come.
Now, we're hoping that eventually Baugher will wield her pen (er, um, her keyboard) once again, but until then, enjoy the archives. You can thank us later.
Tumblr Goes Denby: The founder and CEO of Tumblr, David Karp, announced that five blogs in his "community" critical of Web personality Julia Allison have been taken down because they were "derogatory" and constituted "harrassment." ... I suppose Karp can kick whomever he wants off his site--but that's exactly what seems to be going on here. It certainly smells like a CEO protecting a friend. (Allison says "I haven't asked David to take down any sites in a long time." Oh.) ... Note to tumblr bloggers Alex Balk and Elizabeth Spiers: Hope you stay on Karp's good side! .... P.S.: Allison sees Karp's action as applicable, not just to his "community," but the entire Internet:.
There is no reason the internet should remain in its current Hobbesian state of nature. Someone needs to begin the long process of setting basic standards of decency online.
This is an argument so new it's already old. But Allison is a peculiarly unappealing complainant, having attempted to build a career out of exposing her private life in public on the web. Now people shouldn't be able to criticize her with the same vigor with which she promotes herself? ... P.S.: Here's a google cache for one of the sites tumblr deleted, Reblogging Julia. Seems pretty tame--at least by Atlantic standards! ... P.P.S.: Doesn't Allison understand that the only thing worse than having five sites devoted to trashing you is having four sites devoted to trashing you? [I think she does!-ed You're not suggesting she'll be happy to see this item too? This item is vicious! She'll never recover from this item!] ... 11:26 P.M.
In a blog post written late Tuesday night, David Karp, the founder of the blogging platform Tumblr, sought to better explain the company’s sudden change in its content policy and its decision to shut down five blogs on Monday for violating its new ban on blogs dedicated to making fun of other bloggers.
While Tumblr has “absolutely no interest in censoring users,” Mr. Karp wrote, and in fact had “rushed into enforcing this policy” somewhat by mistake, he stood by the move to root out the use of Tumblr blogs for “harassment,” which the new policy describes this way:
Accounts with the sole or primary purpose of repeatedly harassing or abusing specific members or groups within the Tumblr community will be suspended.
Not surprisingly, the move disturbed some bloggers who use Tumblr and others who wondered about its impact on Web culture. According to Owen Thomas of Valleywag, all five of the suspended blogs were devoted to criticism of the same person, a blogger Mr. Thomas describes as “microcelebrity egoblogger Julia Allison.”
Ms. Allison, who found her way on to the cover of Wired magazine last July beside the headline “Get Internet Famous! (Even If You’re Nobody)” and has been profiled in The New York Times, is featured on the blog, “Non Society,” which is devoted to the near-constant multimedia-enhanced documentation of her life and that of two of her friends on what they call their “lifecasts.”
The offending Tumblr blogs used a feature of the blog platform that makes it very easy for Tumblr users to “reblog,” or automatically quote from blogs they enjoy, or enjoy hating, on their own blogs. (As Tumblr itself explains in an introduction to the platform: “If blogs are journals, tumblelogs are scrapbooks.”) The most well-known of the blogs shut down by Tumblr this week is, or was, called “Reblogging Julia“; it now appears to be available only in the snapshot form stored in Google’s cache.
As Jason Tanz explained in his Wired article on Ms. Allison’s blog-driven celebrity:
Allison may not be famous by the traditional definition. [...] But to a devoted niche of online fans — and an even more devoted niche of detractors — she is a bona fide celebrity.
Last year, Fred Wilson explained how Tumblr’s reblog button works, and Eric Krangel of Silicon Alley Insider wrote about how that reblogging tool’s ease of use (it eliminates the need even to copy and paste) had bred “a new type of griefer uniquely adapted to Tumblr’s system of ‘reblogging’: the anonyblogger.”
Last September, Mr. Krangel explained the problem that Tumblr took steps to address this week:
Here’s how anonyblogging works: let’s say johndoe.tumblr.com is your target. You create a free account [...], then “follow” John’s blog. Obsessively “reblog” every post John makes, adding snarky, mean, or outright profane commentary. Tumblr’s “dashboard” system means that people [who] follow John will likely see the nasty comments. It’s the equivalent of watching someone shout at your pal as he walks down the street. But what makes the attack so unpleasant is that there’s no way for John to shake a malicious anonyblogger. [...]
The favored targets of anonybloggers are Tumblr personalities whose “Internet fame” is felt to exceed their merit. Wired cover girl Julia Allison has multiple anonyblogger critics, and persistent harassment from anonyblogger griefers led Vimeo co-founder Jakob Lodwick to quit Tumblr altogether. But the anonyblogging phenomena is metastasizing through Tumblr so quickly even small fish are finding themselves under attack.
On his Tumblr blog, Bryan McKay cut to the heart of the matter yesterday, writing that “Censorship on a blogging platform is uniformly a bad thing, but Tumblr is trying to be a community as well as a platform.” In his post, Mr. McKay lays out some interesting questions raised by Tumblr’s new enforced manners policy — questions that apply to many sites across the Web that seek to foster community:Good questions. Any bloggers out there care to take a stab at some answers?
Should digital communities be structured as “safe spaces” or left relatively untouched? And if we are going to start creating safe spaces, who are we creating them for? Are we creating them for every user, or only those that fit a certain profile? Are we looking to protect against sexism, racism, classism, and other forms of derogatory hate speech?
Can we protect the free speech and expression of the majority without curtailing that of others?
The idea of community management is still a relatively new concept, and I understand that these are difficult questions, but when you’re trying to maintain the positive spirit of a community, transparency is the best way to start. To what extent should the community itself take part in decisions about community management?
#NYFW - en route to Michael Kors, wearing green Nanette Lepore w navy blue headband. Wish I were still I'm bed. 2 minutes ago from txt
Fashion week concludes on Friday … but things won’t slow down for quite some time. Here’s an idea of what we have coming up!
February 21 - AMC Oscars Best Picture Event.
February 22 - Oscars! Not sure where we’ll watch them …
February 24 - Meghan I fly to San Francisco.
February 27 - Mary meets us out there for the SF leg of the Randi Julia BiCoastal Birthday Party.
And blah blah blah. I would like to add on her behalf:
March 14 - Eat the cupcakes, make the kissy face and pretend that life is amazing
March 15 - Like that
March 16 - Like that
March 17 - Like that
There is a person in my village named Sergei. He drinks too much vodka, tells the same story over and over and then passes out in his own spittle in the town square. Excuse, but who does he remind me of?
Here it is:
A few points:
First off, we can't succinctly reply to those first two paragraphs because THEY DON'T MAKE SENSE. Did you not take freshman composition?
Can someone explain what that second bullet means?
Um, you ARE censoring users Karp. And that's fine, you're allowed. But please don't say that you're not. Also, Julia's email to Gawker certainly makes it sound like you are doing just that.
Finally, Baugher had recently received complaints? She didn't have any new posts in a month! This is very hard to believe.
ALSO: If you use Tumblr, please consider taking your business elsewhere.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I haven't asked David to take down any sites in a long time, so I don't know where the impetus for this particular purge came from, but I'm thrilled that he has. I am absolutely in favor of ridding the Tumblr community - and the internet in general - of what one of my readers once called "mind cancer." That sort of nastiness is insidious and it will rot communities unless someone says, "This simply isn't an acceptable way to treat other human beings."Oh, it is ON, woman. It is fucking on.
There is no reason the internet should remain in its current Hobbesian state of nature. Someone needs to begin the long process of setting basic standards of decency online, and I'm proud of David - as a businessman, but also as a friend - that he and his company have the balls to do so."
(Also, Gawker, Ryan Tate, et al: "Web startup" is being generous.)
You all post some hilariously witty comments here, bunnies. Seriously, you are a smart bunch.
But we nearly spit out our drink when we read this:
We are seriously working Starship Bitch into our posts from now on. But what does that make Meghan?
I doubt there is any "beef" between Julia and Mary about Charlsie. I know sometimes people come on here and want to defend Mary or read into her comments as evidence of her supposed intelligence but let's face it: Julia and Mary are Captain and First Lieutenant on the Starship Bitch.
- My parents are visiting on Thursday - Saturday. I just windexed the inside of my fridge. Oh, you think these two facts aren't related!?!
If I were Mommy or Daddy Baugher, and was watching from afar as my kid, two years before her 30th birthday, was injecting chemicals into her face to such an extent that it started to collapse, was publicly dissing friends and business partners and/or outing their possible illnesses, was chasing after wealthy married men and being rejected time and time again, was refusing to work or to honor her commitments to her business partners on any front, was braying about how OMG!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!! she is and in the same breath talking about how depressed she is, I'd be on the first plane to New York.
When I arrived, I'd pay Meghan back the money she's wasted, apologize to Mary for all the abuse, and drag my kid's screeching ass back to Chicago for many many months of intensive therapy. Seriously. The woman is deranged.
Where have they been?
Here's what she told us what went down that day:
After calling the producer, Megan Alagna (who is such a sweet person, utterly fantastic!), about my blog being featured on Gawker and the reblogging sites, she told me to not worry about it and that the girls encourage people to write blogs -- so it wasn't a big deal. About an hour after I had that phone call, Mary called me while she was in LA asking me (aka yelling) how I could be stupid to write that stuff in a public blog and how I would write what she called "a nanny diary." I asked if she read it, and she said no, but that was besides the point. She told me to immediately take it down.We were a little confused, so we asked to clarify: "So you basically lost ALL your content from that blog?" To which she responded:
As I started saving my posts, the entire tumblr disappeared. I had no permission to access it. I could sign it, but I couldn't see any posts or do anything with the account. That lasted for a couple of days. I even e-mailed Tumblr telling them it was bullshit, and they responded saying they would never touch anyone's tumblr because someone else told them too. I sure didn't touch it, and all my entries were gone. There is no doubt in my mind that NonSociety had it removed. Eventually though, it was put back up ... just all the posts were removed, so it was a clean slate.
Yes, I lost ALL my content from the blog, even just pictures of my boyfriend and me. It was all removed.
Julia apparently wanted to have an "end of the internship" conversation, but her e-mails showed her being upset about the blog. So, I just thought I would ignore her. She continued to call me (11:30pm at night on like a Thursday) and texting me at 2:20am in the morning telling me I had to talk to her. I even received an e-mail saying my internship form (which was turned in) wouldn't be sent until I spoke to Julia. After receiving a not so professional (at least in my book) voicemail from her, I sent her an e-mail telling her there would be no conversation and that I needed my form sent and everything handled appropriately in a timely and professional manner. I haven't had any contact with her since then, just the producer.
You can share this. I honestly don't care at this point. It is so disappointing when I paid for myself to go to NYC for the month only to run errands and then be treated like utter shit because I wrote the truth. I also think it is funny how they got so mad at me for writing what I did. What I think is sad is how they fail to look at themselves and see that they have so many haters who look for dirt like the stuff I wrote. The problem is them, not me or what I wrote -- however, they will never see it that way.
And this is the email she received from Tumblr support regarding her inquiry:
From: Tumblr Support <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Thu, Jan 29, 2009 at 11:20 AM
Subject: Re: (Case 22097) nycintern.tumblr.com
To: Charlsie ***************
Hi, Charlsie. It would be my guess that you clicked the Leave This Group button in the Members area for that tumblelog. That would have made you leave the group tumblelog and if you were the only Member/Admin it would have also deleted the group tumblelog. No one at Tumblr did anything to that tumblelog in any way.
The tumblelog is now restored. Please let me know if there's anything else I can help you with. Thanks for using Tumblr!
There is no way in hell I clicked the Leave This Group button. Such a bullshit e-mail.
Honestly, this is such a crappy situation, and we feel pretty bad about the whole thing. She was just an intern doing her job, and she got shit on. Don't worry too much, C, just work hard and improve your writing, and if you still want to enter this profession that is sort of dying by the minute, you'll be fine.
Talking to Dan on IM. He might have cancer again.
I fucking hate cancer.
The last thing on my mind is watching a fashion show right now. I’m sorry.
This is classy, even by JA standards.
Tired, Jules, after an exhausting couple of days convincing David Karp to censor the many bloggers who are totally onto you? Don't feel like going to work after "letting" Mary do all the Fashion Week chores again for TMI? Need some sort of publicly stated excuse to stay home? How about outing your ex-boyfriend's possible relapse?
Oh, and then, why not bring the entire conversation back to YOU, because that's what one DOES upon learning a dear friend might be facing another battle with cancer. You talk about your non-weight gain! And in doing so, you suggest that your BFFs, business partners and "beloved sisters" are anorexic. To prove to the haters THAT YOU ARE NOT FAT!!! DAN, WHO MIGHT HAVE CANCER AGAIN, SAYS YOU'RE NOT!!! AND DAN'S SMART, AND HE MIGHT HAVE CANCER!!! SO BACK OFF, HATERS!!!! AND DON'T ATTACK ME, BECAUSE DAN MIGHT HAVE CANCER!!
Dan & Julia Conversation, Part I
Dan: People will not stop asking me about Mary's haircut.
Me: HAHHAHA are they talking about how I'm fat, too?
Me: I've been getting that a lot lately. "Julia looks like she's about to implode" was my favorite.
Dan: No, no one who talks to me says you're fat.
Me: Oh that's good. That's a plus.
Dan: They all agree with me that you hang out with too many people that are anorexically skinny. And if you are around normal sized people, you look tiny, because you are, in fact, tiny.
Me: I just feel like my face is fat. I feel sort of ugly and fat bc of fashion week. I think one tends to lose perspective.
UPDATE: Here's some more of that TRAUMATIC conversation that Jackles had with Dan tonight that prevented her from going to work. She is so worried about Dan! If by "worried about Dan," one means obsessing once again in a pathological manner about oneself and how the hectic pace of lying around and posting private IM conversations is sure to destroy a person:
Dan: Well, you are overworked and over-stressed and wearing makeup for pictures all the time and that isn't good for your face or your body's water-tissue balance. And yes, your lifestyle means that you are way over-exposed to visual scrutiny.
Dan: Like those celebrities in people who get caught looking ugly. An easy 50% of the time, it's like "congrats, you took 5,000 pictures and she looks like a normal person in 1 of them and now the headline is 'so-and-so has imploded and has an alien growing out of her face."
Me: I know. I never thought I'd say this, but ... I'm pictured out. I no longer want to dress up and put on makeup and take photos every day. I am fine with doing it ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS.
Dan: hahaha too much attention?
Dan: well all i have to say is GIBFT: Good It's About Fucking Time
Me: blah blah blah you suck
Dan: I saw you for three days, your lifestyle: not sustainable.
By the way -- is this further evidence of just how HAPPY Jackles is? Wasn't it just a few days ago that Jackles was braying about Never. Being. Happier. Before. In. Her. Whole. Entire. Life.
UPDATED: With this hilarious photo of David Karp as JAB's lapdog, sent by reader email@example.com.
UPDATED 2: We have some interesting info on the Charlsie situation, TK soon. Keep an eye out. Until then, here are a bunch of tumblr blogs that add some smart commentary to the situation:
think on this
do the luminosa dance
And one we find very interesting, because of this:
I, too, have a serious problem with this. Also, they are not being transparent with their users, something I asked for in an email yesterday. I asked them to be clear with everyone on exactly what their “investment babies’ role” (my words) was in all of this. Marco responded telling me the Nonsociety girls had no role in their deletion; however, notice that I never mentioned them in my original email.UPDATED 3: A reader sends some info for those who want to back up their Tumblrs:
Here's a useful tool for quickly archiving a Tumblr blog: http://boutofcontext.com/
I'm not really sure what to do with the data, once you archive it, and I don't have any experience exporting it to another platform, but I wanted to do my part, and share the useful link. It works better in IE than Firefox.
Also, here's more information from Webmonkey: http://www.webmonkey.com/
So it's no secret that RBNS started out as a Tumblr blog back in the beginning of January 2009. After we'd been up for just a few days, we were mysteriously locked out of our account. We received no notification or anything, just a complete freeze-out. Real professional like.
Since we kind of hate Tumblr's platform (I've said it before and I'll say it again, Tumblr is like the short bus of content management systems), we didn't care too much. We figured that Julia and her crew contacted Karp and Ko. to complain and had us shut down. Later, we thought we might have violated a particular Tumblr TOS; now, we're reevaluating that idea.
Some of our favorite sites, such as Baugher and Trainwrecks, mysteriously vanished yesterday. Apparently, many Tumblr users noticed and contacted Tumblr management to find out what was up. Here's their response today:
Regarding questions we’ve received about five accounts that were suspended yesterday:
These accounts were suspended by our moderators, reflecting internal discussions about our community guidelines.
I’m sorry for not clarifying these changes earlier. But after serious consideration, we recently decided that accounts with the explicit purpose of reblogging content in a derogatory way are a detriment to our community. Although these accounts were removed prematurely, we’re confident this was the right decision, and have updated our Content Policy accordingly:Harassment. Accounts with the sole or primary purpose of repeatedly harassing or abusing specific members or groups within the Tumblr community will be suspended.
I’m really sorry for the confusion. Your content and freedom of expression are the reasons we’re building Tumblr.
Do any of you know which other blogs were frozen out? Surely there have to be some other blogs out there that would violate Tumblr's new policy; why were these five singled out?
We love Baugher so much, we went through Google's cache and were able to salvage pages 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8 and 11. If any of you are able to scrounge up 4, 6, 9 and 10, let us know. We may try to republish Baugher's content here if the OG permits.
This post will be updated if we learn anything new.
Update: Just wanted to add: Which is it, Karp? The new TOS says that "Accounts with the sole or primary purpose of repeatedly harassing or abusing specific members or groups within the Tumblr community will be suspended" while your little manifesto claims that "accounts with the explicit purpose of reblogging content in a derogatory way are a detriment to our community." Isn't that sort of subjective? Baugher was smart, well written and offered solid (if snarky) criticism, but it hardly constituted harassment or abuse. Jesus, this is more ridiculous the more we think about it.