Friday, May 29, 2009

We're Moving On Up! To WordPress!

Hello everyone:

This marks our last post on Instead, we have decided to move this dog-and-pony show over to WordPress, where some of us have been hard at work tonight getting it all set up.

The new site is, and as of now, that's where you can find us. Please adjust your bookmarks accordingly.

You will notice that most of the previous posts have been successfully imported to WordPress, although it doesn't seem the comments are showing up underneath the posts yet. We're not sure if they ever will. But you can all start posting new comments immediately on any and all of the posts.

Thanks for discovering us here and sticking with us, now come join us over on WordPress. We do apologize for any inconvenience but it's for the best for all of us. Have a nice day! xoxo

Oh honey, no, you are just wrong about that.

Julia: An OK Outfit

At reunion registration this morning.

Head to Toe (special Prep Edition):

- H&M white cardigan tied around neck
- H&M white button down blouse
- vintage A-line skirt, found at thrift shop on 2nd avenue
- Aldo heels
- Chanel purse
- pearl stud earrings

Here it is. Is it just me or does something look off about her mouth in this photo?

Julia: Tweets of Continuing Madness

She might have lost four pounds but Jackles's little "vacation" and her "break from the Internet" has apparently done nothing to diminish the madness. In her first post in days, she gets immediately busted by RBNS commenters for posting an old photograph on her blog and implying that it was from her recent waterside vacation. She's now deleting all the time stamps from her photos, and has also been Tweeting like crazy about "Date 2.5" with the guy whose alma mater she simply cannot stop dropping. Interesting coming from a woman who bemoans how the Internet has ruined her personal life. The Internet, mind you -- not her use of the Internet. Broadcasting her personal life to thousands of followers on Twitter is somehow different in Jackles's mind than broadcasting her personal life to thousands of readers on the Internet. How strange!

Tweet 1:
Tonight's Washington, DC Agenda: Date 2.5 with Harvard Crush, who happens to be in town. Actually looking forward to this. Jinx alert! :)

Tweet 2:
Date picked me up ON HIS MOTORCYCLE!!! omfg
Tweet 3:

Re: last night's motorcycle date - @MsFitzSTYLIST - a Harley, actually. It was my first time on a bike!! Oh yes, I liked. How could I not?!

Tweet 4:

@erinmstyles ahhhh it was!!! Especially since I was wearing heels, a vintage skirt and a Chanel bag. Carrie would be so proud.

Where to begin with all this? Yes, we get it, he goes to Harvard. And yes, we get it, she's got a Chanel bag! She's just like Carrie! How come no mention of the Payless shoes, though?

p.s. Thanks to IronicSlanket for the photo.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Yulia: Ancient photos from a million miles away

Me Scaring Innocent Teenage Boys @ Prom, 1999.
It’s Prime Prom Season, which you know is my favorite season of all, next to Wedding Season. Actually prom is pretty much like getting married, but without the whole “monogamy” thing. And you get to wear colors.

Blah, blah, blah. She go on about emailing her photos (which she will only find through the Gogol image search and email to herself). I too bored to care.

I do like that Poofy manage to find shot of her that feature Old Face and was taken from the surface of Neptune so we can no really see what she look like before she get the 367 plastic surgeries and injections that she say she not get until she say she get in HBO documentary, like that was always the story.

She is wily, this one in the light blue.

I go take 17 innocent teenage goats to "prom" now, if you know what I mean.

Julia: DonkeyGate? Or PhotoGate? You Guys Decide.

Our wily commenters noticed today that Jackles, in a post about how she spent her three-day vacation, boasts about the pretty heart she drew in the sand (CORRECTION: She did not write `while away.' She just implied it). There is just one minor problem. The photo is time-stamped Feb. 12, 2007 -- exactly when she was on the lovely Caribbean island of St. Barts, known for its sandy white coral beaches.

Here is today's blog post about her rejuvenating "beach" vacation:

What I Did on My Three Day Vacation

I swam and read and hiked and sat in the sun and watched bad movies after dinner and called my mom for marathon phone conversations and slept at least 9 hours each night and went out to eat every evening and savored (small portions of) incredible desserts and still lost four pounds!

What I Didn’t Do

Open my laptop for 72 hours
Go on the internet
Wear makeup
Take any photographs of myself

In other words: it was perfect.

I don’t know why I waited so long to do this. Just having that uninterrupted time to focus on relaxation and health and sleep was worth far more than a dozen multi-tasking trips/”vacations” or afternoons/Sundays off or whatever.

I came back rested, feeling better about my body and my health than I have in a long, long time.

The other conculsion I came to? I need a lot more time off this whole internet thing.

Not sure how this will play out, but let’s just put it this way: I can say with assurance that the relaxation and balance I experienced over this trip wouldn’t have been possible had I been checking my email.

(I’m very proud of the heart I drew in the photo above.)

I guess one of the ways in which Jackles doesn't really want to reinvent herself after her time away to reflect on her life is to STOP LYING.

Notice too, fellow DonkeyGate conspiracy theorists, how very much the above beach photo resembles the beach in this photo, taken by Jackles at the same time -- February 2007. And by resembles, I mean it's the exact same beach.

Julia: Deep Thoughts That Would Intensely Irritate Mother Teresa

Aren't we all trying to reinvent ourselves?

I'll admit it. When she wasn't polluting Twitter for a few days, I forgot just how annoying her "deep thoughts" can be.

Let's start answering them, shall we? I'll start, then you commenters continue on.

Dear Julia:

No, we are not all trying to reinvent ourselves. Some of us are quite happy with the way we are. Some of us don't read self-help books endlessly, or rely on astrologers and psychics to give us some insight into ourselves like 13-year-old girls, or take solace in trite, banal assumptions like the one you just quoted. Some of us don't mess with our faces 24/7 and wear false eyelashes and hair pelts every time we leave the house, or secretly diss our best friends for fear that they're prettier and more popular than us. You think this is normal? That we're "all" afflicted with your illness? It's not normal. Please, for the love of Harvard Guy and all things holy, get some help and sort out your shit, would you?

A three-day "vacation" and you're still spewing out this lunacy? Are you kidding us? It's a joke, right? I find it strange that you would joke about something like this.

Have a nice day! xoxo

Comment of The Goddamned Day, Cowboys and Cowbitches

From some cockgobbler named FF, who some other cockgobblers tell me is a goddamned hooker named Flatface. Sign in, you flat-faced motherfucker! I just got here. How the hell am I supposed to keep track of all you dickarses and ho-bags?

I know the raison d'etre here is to rip on these women, but I have to say: TMI is actually pretty good.
If it were MY show, or if I was the producer, I'd leave it basically as-is - with just a few minor changes.

Number one, I would change the topics from the sort of SATC leftovers and Elle Magazine cast-off stuff they do now. Instead, I'd have topics that are actually interesting and "good". And I think the show would work a little better if they got rid of the three girls who are on it now. And replaced them with three other women. The new women should be smart and funny, and - this is crucial - less crazy and self-absorbed. Lastly, I would just tweak the set. The set they're on now looks a little Al-Queda-martyr's-video-farewell backdrop. It looks like the windowless room where, like, the french club and student government used to meet in the seventh grade. One way to make the show "better" would be to make it less painful visually.

Think of today's TMI as a sort of dress rehearsal, a rough cut. Now think of it with three different hostesses talking about stuff that actually matters, on a set that is less Junior High Audio Visual club hang out and more vibrant.

Other than that I think the show is really good. But as long as I was fiddling around - and of course we're speaking hypothetically here, because they haven't hired me to do a relaunch... yet! - I would go ahead and get rid of that grating Sex in The City Theme outtakes music. And I'd change the name from TMI to something less, um,, I don't know how do you say - less, ah, that's it. Less fucking gay.

TMI Weakly: Shockingly, Jackles Refuses To Appear On Camera Without Makeup

Why can't she leave her mumu alone?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Julia: Sadly, She Re-Emerges

A Tweet:

Well hello there strangers.

Meghan: I'm Coming Up!

Looks like Megs is ready to come out of her shell and show us what she's got! Exciting! Except not so exciting!

p.s. Megs, I apologize. But Queen Bee is away and so you're now it, little lady. Nice of you to take care of her poor neglected dog. We hope you succeed in finding a breed for yourself that "boroughs."


Tumblr now allows you to tag your blog so that you can search others sites for categories you’re interested in. We all LOVE categorization, heck I may like it more than most. We as humans enjoy compartmentalizing others in order to make sense of the world.

That being said, I’m not really sure anymore what category my blog or myself falls into.
Sure, I’m a fan of gadgets, startups, and technology, but I’m not certain that’s the best description of me. When I started lifecasting, I wanted a niche. I wanted to focus on one area of expertise that could brand me in a way that made sense for where my passion lies.

With that, I’ve found myself a little more limited to talk about the other areas I like without judgment of what I put out there.
Truth is, I LOVE technology, but I also LOVE fashion, fitness (just signed up for another marathon), relationships, travel, and of course NYC Desserts! I think your 20’s are all about finding where your interest lies.

Taking the plunge with NS this year and doing so many things out of character for me has brought me to a place where I’m now ready to be a little less judgmental about what I write. Blogging/ lifecasting is supposed to be fun and for sometime now I have felt stilted in my exploration of this medium.
I’ve decided to tag my blog with the following categories: GEEK, TECH, and LIFE.

But, just know that it will be a mixed bag from now on with loads of twists and turns. Since my blog follows my life, I’ll be writing more about my experience. You’ll get to know a braver bolder Meghan that previously stayed polite and somewhat corporate.

I dare people pleasers like me to do the same in life; it’s a great exercise to live without judgments or regrets. I moved to NYC years ago to live in the moment, it’s finally time to start doing just that.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Poll Winner: The Braying Donkey

After a neck-and-neck battle between the Kissy-Face and the Braying Donkey, the Braying Donkey pulled ahead to emerge the winner as the Trademark Jackles Pose our readers find the most annoying. It earned 136 votes, compared to 109 for the Kissy-Face. The Blowing-Kisses was a distant third with 56 votes.


Julia: She Never Truly Goes Away

And I wonder if this Go-Kart guy went to Harvard and would be willing to wait 11 dates? He seems quite titillated by her spunk in the end. Also, she seems awfully uptight about her hair in this segment, as though she's afraid if she pulls it too tightly behind her head, her scalp pelt will become embarrassingly dislodged.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Julia: Striking A Pose With Flipper

That's the Kissy-Face and the Donkey Bray, people! How kind of Flipper to participate in the Donkey Bray with her.

Can't wait to see the shot of her blowing kisses to Flipper ... or doing gangsta signs!

Facility Living

There are unsubstantiated rumors that my Faerie Queene is "vacationing" at a facility care of Grandmama. As one accustomed to facility living, I hope this works out for her. She needs whatever help she can get.

Especially because the finger bruises below are rather suggestive of wider issues:

And isn't the expression on Owen Thomas' face priceless? Something to the effect of "get your talons off me." I dunno. He's obviously not the finger bruiser, or finger banger! HA. Nom. Nom.

Ooops. My nurse is here. Gotta run.

UPDATE: I have had a long day of talking about my feelings and such. I am at the facility. My beloved is at a different kind of facility (or so the rumor has it). Also, sex bruises are nothing to be ashamed of. Parading them around, I am told, is tacky. And attention seeking and probably indicative of wider issues. Sometimes people get help for their 'personality problems,' again, so I am told! I feel woozy. I don't know what they are giving me here, but it beats the hell out of, excuse me, is a lot better than the windy vestibule. 

Brother Britt: A Painful Memory

Now that Sis has gone incognito for a few days on a ..... errrrrrr .... vacation -- yes, that's it, a vacation -- I took a moment to revel in the sweet silence and ponder the shameful past, hopeful that this break could represent a turning point of sorts.

And strangely, rather than enjoying the delicious quietude, I found myself haunted anew by the memory of this horribly humiliating episode. It seems I may be suffering from sister-induced post-traumatic stress disorder. I shudder. I will forever shudder.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Fetch is not going to happen.

More twits of idiocy. Stop trying to make fetch happen. It is not going to happen.

And only click on her 'inspiration' if you want a good mind-raping. You've been warned.

Gone fishin'

I’m leaving in about four hours for a REAL three(ish) day non-lifecast’d vacation. Like any addiction, the thought of going cold-turkey on blogging gives me heart palpitations.
But you’re probably on the beach somewhere yourself, so you won’t miss me.
And yes, as you probably noticed, I’m not saying where I’ll be going. That’s on purpose. ;) Let’s just put it this way: I’ve never been there before, and I just checked the forecast - errr … suffice it to say, it’ll be warm. Maybe too warm? Sigh.
See you on Thursday!

Well done, Poofy. For the longest time, we all say you need to step away from keyboard. You go with new boyfriend? You go on fake all-girl Sexy and the City, mid-life crisis desperation holiday? You go to reprogramming unit where they give you shock therapy when they show you photos of tutus and nerds?

Not my business. I only sad you accompany this post with photo from 1947.

As for me? I am going on three-day holiday to barn, where this is loft of fresh hay and fully stocked vodka cooler (OMSK MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND 2009! WOOHOO!!!!!). And if Ivan, the handsome new sheep herder from down the road, want to stop by and stick it in, who am I to say no? He only have one actual leg, but I hear he make up for that with other leg, HOOOOOOKAY????????

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Oh honey, can we talk?

To say nothing of the wide open gape of your pie hole, those legs! Honey, they are bowed wider than the midship section. This isn't a good look. 

Boner. Killer. 

Brother Britt: My Poor, Poor Sister.

Julia: OMG OMG She's Finally Got a Boyfriend And She's Going To Blow It Already!

Tweet No. 1: Fastest change of clothes for a date EVER. Thank god he chose a place only ten blks from my house.

Tweet No. 2, five hours later: Um ... @MaryRambin? July 18th may have come a little early this year. :) (!!!!!)

I wonder if Harvard Guy will wait until the 11th date? And tolerate it as she Tweets the entire courtship?

Kissy face, pose, airport sign

At the aviary in Discovery Cove.

Doing my special pose with Shamu.
(Dress, for the ladies who emailed me asking, is Diane von Furstenberg, from a few seasons ago.)

Every other flight from Orlando seems to be delayed (there were massive thunderstorms here this afternoon). Not mine! Good thing, because I have a date tonight. ;)

So at end of day, THIS is what we got from Poofy with her paid coverage of SeaWorlds?

The same contorted Vanna White pose in an old dress that NO ONE emailed her about btws? The same idiotic kissy bullshit, only with a bird that I can only hope made the poop on her Long Island University tattoo? The same mind-numbingly insipid shot of an AIRPORT SIGN along with mention that she have 11pm date with either Mr. Made Up Man, he-whore or vibrator?

I seriously no understand why Ikea bother to send her to ThunderstormLand.

I go have vodka latte now to numb the pain Poofy cause me.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Julia: I Think She's One Purty Little Lady

Now since I been done hired here to keep order and ride fucking goddamned herd, I been doing as I've been told. But I don't mind saying I am not on board with the disgust for the little lady you bitches and assholes call Jackles and/or Poofy and sometimes Yulia by that skinny Russian sumbitch. Could be because little Miss Jackles she reminds me of my gosh-darn middle school typing teacher, Miss MacGillicuddy, with her yellow nicotine fingernails and her beehive hairdo and her legs as thick as a steer's butt. Nonetheless, that little lady took my wing-wang in her mouth and ... well, never you goddamned prickholes and beaver-arses mind. Let's just say I see some kinship between that sweet big-hootered bingo hall lady of my youth and little Miss Poofy, with her sweet cans, her shelf arse and her big huge gaping moist round piehole .... sweet mother of fuck it is hot as a Texas whore's tit in here right now, ain't it?

And all you fucking arsefags are so quick to publish the ugliest picture you can find of sweet Miss Jackles. But here's one I like because looky here ... there ain't no posing going on here. Little Miss Hot Cupcakes looks purty as a goddamned picture here if you ask me, you bunch of motherfuckers. I might just have to print this here picture off and use it for ... errr ... keep it in my goddamned holster so that next time I get the urge to blow one of you dumb fuckers away, I'll see this sweet little angel of headband heaven and simmer down just a little fucking bit.

Look at the little lady there. No posing, no goddamned mugging for the goddamned cameras like that skinny little sumbitch Poshbitch or whatever her name was in that motherfucking Spice Whores band. Just a purty little lady with a fondness I hope for stuffing something hot and meaty in her pieh .... errr, never you scumsuckers fucking mind!

She's just as pretty as the Red River Valley in springtime, she is, though I don't deny this here photo makes me want to unzip my sheriff pants and grab hold of the closest longhorn and show him what for.

I guess I'll do as these bitches and prickasses tell me and limit my asskicking to the motherfucking commenters here who get out of line. But I don't mind saying that some of you bitches don't hold a candle to the purty little lady who is now haunting my goddamned dick dreams.

Brother Britt: So Proud

As a devoted scholar, I couldn't be prouder of my sister, who has apparently discovered a new species:

This morning at Discovery Cove. That’s a two-nail sloth!

Holiday Poll: The Trademark Pose

Memorial Day Weekend is upon us! What better way to celebrate than with a new poll commemorating some of Jackles's best moves? Head on up to the top right of this blog, and cast your ballot for Jackles's most annoying trademark pose.

Is it the Kissy-Face?

The Blowing-Kisses?

Or the Braying Donkey?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

She pet the wet things, they look at her boobies

Petting a kikacju?? I have no idea how to spell this …

Petting the projectile pooping penguin.
I was very afraid.

Nicely played, Poofy.

But for record? I do better blog coverage (for pay in shots) when I go to media event at Fishlandia in Rostov-on-Don. They basically have sea life in buckets and you look and that it. I post photograph of my vajina next to squid display (tastefully shot) and get 3 million unique hits.

But Poofy try. It sort of cute (in projectile-pooping way).

What is Meghan up to??

Pointing, apparently. 

It seemed a good time to check in with her, since she (perhaps smartly!) is now playing second fiddle to the Whale Paparazzi girl. 


TMI Weakly: Dating Tips From Three Losers At Love

Julia: What a Difference a Year Makes, The Sequel

Here's Jackles last year, almost exactly a year ago. Pretty dress; very glam. Prestigious event, the Gracie Allen Awards. Carb-face at a minimum, no excessive wonk eye in evidence, no bad miniskirt, no tired Kissy-Face, Braying Donkey or Blowing-Kisses poses in place. Very nice!

And here she is today, hanging out with Mommy bloggers at Sea World on a humiliating bray-for-pay junket. Not that there's anything wrong with Mommy bloggers! Dooce and Pioneer Woman are awesome! But you just know that Jackles is filled with enough bile right now to feed a dozen manatees.

And then there's this. It's a far cry from the red carpet, but she's working it anyway. Bless her heart.

Brother Britt: At Last My Sister Blogs About Fascinating Facts Not Involving Cupcakes and Headbands

Keeper: Penguins can projectile poop up to 7 feet. Want to hold one? Me: um. No. #SeaWorld

4 people were killed by sharks last year. 100,000,000 sharks were killed by people last year. #SeaWorld

Manatees are more expensive to feed than a killer whale (only eat lettuce, but have to eat 10% of their body weight!) #seaworld

SeaWorld fact - Sharks can give birth in 3 ways: egg, live & egg live (where the egg hatches INSIDE the uterus!!)

Who knew our Julia had so much interest in marine biology and not simply about herself? This is so refreshing coming on the heels of the bizarre astrology obsession. It's almost as though she has $517 riding on each Sea World post! Mother and Father are so pleased, not to mention Grandmother, who might have to sell off some family heirlooms in order to continue supporting our Jules.

Julia: Continuing To Churn Out The A-Game Content

Dolphin! and … rain.

(Me: “Great captions, eh?” Rachel: “That’s why they pay you the big bucks.”)

I find it so strange that even her friend seems to be onto her refusal to provide content. It's worrisome! But why take it so seriously? It's only her livelihood, after all! Have a nice day! XO.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Goodnight, You Goddamned Dickasses

It has been brought to my goddamned attention that in my first few days on the job, I have been too goddamned trigger-happy in terms of deleting some of your sorry-ass shit-eating comments.
And once fucking deleted, arseholes, they cannot be retrieved.

The pricks and bitches that run this place have reminded me of the goddamned rules once again, and I don't mind saying it chaps my hide because there ain't nothing I love more than shooting ass first and asking questions later.

But OK, you pansy-assed goddamned losers.

1. The fuckers here don't care if you insult them or their blog. They take issue with you trying to out people's real-life fucking identities. Got it, sheep-fuckers?

2. They also don't want commenters starting up wars with other commenters. "That's a fucking stupid thing to say" is one fucking thing. "I know where you live and I am coming to get you" is a whole other bowl of goddamned cowpies, got it you sorry-arsed motherfuckers?

If I went too far today, I will not fucking apologize. Tomorrow is another goddamned day and I will try to keep my goddamn gun in its holster.

Until sunrise, arselickers.

Brother Britt: Sis Frolicks With Whales Without Facial Warpaint

And so pleasing to Mother, Father and me to notice our brave Julia is taking on serious issues despite her pay-to-bray contract. We do hope Sea World still pays her, however! Grandmother's funds can't last forever!

Just had forthright discussion ab animal rights issues inherent in aquatic theme parks w the head of Sea World pr.

Comment of The Day, Cowboys and Cowbitches

From a goddamned anonymouser. Suck me dry and call me Dusty but I wish you fuckers would give yourself names:

Big fish. Water. Another big fish. Rain on my wangs. Nobody here knows me. Fish. Rain. I used to be on Fox. My head is wet. Yeah, you guessed it...another fish. My bathing suits won't fit. My iPhone is soaking wet. Is that OK? Fish are boring. My wangs weigh like 20 lbs now. Crappy hotel, the A/C makes my room feel like the frozen foods section. Rain, rain go away. I want to lipdub outside, not in my room. What is wrong with Florida with all this rain? This is what Dublin must be like. My shoes are squishy. Hello? Hello? I'm famous.

Brother Britt: My Sister Looks So Refreshing Without The Face Plaster

If she swims with the dolphins, I do hope their ears recover from the tinnitus. The poor animals are supposed to have acute hearing, and I fear the braying could be permanently damaging.

Howdy Y'All, This Here's The Comment Sheriff

So we see here there's been some bullshit with goddamned dicklickers showing up here trying to stir up no good in our comments section, forcing me to go in and kick some lard ass all goddamn morning.

Until you fuckers can behave your asses, the comments on this here blog are being moderated by yours fucking truly. And when the real lard-ass losers on this here blog slink back into their prairie dog holes and leave the rest of these here fuckers to snark in goddamned peace, maybe we'll review the current goddamned policy.


What A Difference A Year Makes

From Wired to Shilling for Shamu. But we all knew Wired was her peak. Denial is a real killer (whale). Sniff.

Julia: Refusing to Sleep And Being A Fuck-Up Is So Adorable!

Tweet 1: Eeeek, it's 3 am. Car is coming to pick me up for the airport at 6 am. And I haven't packed yet. Oops?

Tweet 2: It's now 5:32 am. And I have STILL not packed. uhh ... is it time to panic?

Tweet 3: I have to get to the airport in exactly 17 minutes. Ummm. Crap?

It's tough to get your ass in gear like a normal adult human being when you're online all night e-mailing people (a Tweet from Patrol Magazine's David Sessions, soon deleted: davidsess: @juliaallison is cute and and pretty and I love getting random emails from her at 4:30 a.m.), posting photographs to your blog and frantically trying to think of ways to undo the damage from your latest PR disaster, people! Oh no! How to spin it now that the world knows you are desperate enough to shill for Sea World?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Julia: Full Disclosure on SEAWORLD After Getting Called Out

Interesting. She posted this 15 minutes after Gawker posted this.

SEA WORLD, here I come!

A few weeks ago I got an email asking if I wanted to participate in “Manta Media Day” … actually, the wording was hilarious, so I’ll print a bit of it here:

Great news! You’ve been selected as one of the bloggers to attend the Manta Media Day at SeaWorld on May 21st and the VIP party that evening. If you are willing to come a day early/stay a day late SeaWorld can arrange for you to go to Aquatica and Busch Gardens as well as special SeaWorld interactions such as shark deep dive or beluga whale swim.

Great news! I have no idea who the other bloggers are, but I guess I’ll find out soon. :)

Anyway, I called them back and said that it sounded like fun, and I would do it, but only if they let me bring a friend - and they paid me for my time. Like anything I’m paid for, I don’t promise anything other than to show up. If Sea World is lame, they’ll regret inviting me, because I’ll let you know! haha

Anyway, they said yes, I said yes, so Shamu? Get ready!

Oh Jackles. Not this whole pesky "full disclosure" thing rearing its ugly head again. Sucks when readers expect you to be honest and transparent about why you're constantly blogging/Tweeting about various products and services, no?

When are you also going to come clean about your deal with

Mary: Julia Is Trying Hard To "Change Her Ways"

Ooooh boy. Even though no one associated with RBNS has ever posted any comments of support on More Than Mary, Rambo was kind enough to respond to our impostor's comment. Italics are mine. Very nice, Rambo!

I hear what you're saying and of course I really appreciate your support. Although, I wish you would give Julia a chance. She is trying very hard to change her ways and her heart has ALWAYS been in the right place. We've had our fights, and major disagreements, we still do. But at the end of the day, she will always be my friend.

Julia: Junkie Can't Put Down The Crack Pipe

Tweet No. 1:

I'm trying to plan a REAL non-blogging, non-tweeting, no laptop usage vacation for next week, and it's giving me heart palpitations.

Tweet No. 2:

Vacation will only be three days. I can't stand any longer than that. Also, this would be first non-working trip in two years.

Work, she calls her Internet addiction and OMG OMG Randi Zuckerberg OMG OMG conference-attending coat-tail riding. Work!

Monday, May 18, 2009

TMI Weakly: It's Official, Julia's A Dumb 10-Year-Old

Maybe next episode she and Mary and Meghan can prick their fingers and become blood sisters!

Compare and Despair

Faerie Queene / Drag Queene: Honey, you are doing it wrong. 

Julia: Doling Out Advice To A "Reader," Nudge Nudge Wink Wink

Remember how Jackles once claimed her inbox had thousands of unread messages because she was just SO busy and that's why she never really had time to read them? And yet she always seems to instantly reply to the ones from people who e-mail her astonished about her latest public display of insanity ("I find it strange you're taking it so seriously! Lighten up! Have a great day! XO Julia") or from the sympathetic fan whose writing style is just like hers and is seeking Jackles's Oprah-esque, The Secret-y wisdom, because Jackles is so smart like and everything. Funnily enough, so many of these e-mails arrive in the middle of the night!

Like "L" here, who was just desperate for advice at 2 a.m. from a failed businesswoman, a notorious mentalcase and the laughing stock of the Internet.

Reader Email: "everything's a big question mark"

From: L
Date: May 18, 2009 2:17:39 AM EDT
To: Julia Allison
Subject: Samson

Hi Julia,

In one week, I’ll be a college graduate and unlike seemingly all my peers, and contrary to everyone’s belief about this “burden being lifted from my shoulders,” I’m not excited about it in the least. In fact, I’m dreading it. I love school, I love learning, and I love my life here. After this, everything’s a big question mark.

I’m moving back home, away from my friends and back to the same old grind. I don’t have a job back there yet and fear not being able to get one and just living an endless cycle of applying to jobs over and over again. I’m also leaving behind my first and only love of my life so far—we’re staying together, but it’s just so painful…and I’m still here!

I haven’t even left yet and I’m an emotional wreck. Anyway, maybe you don’t really know why I’m writing this to you but maybe I don’t either. I guess it’s just nice to talk to someone honestly, who maybe doesn’t know me, but might care about my plight anyway. Plus, chances are you’re awake…Thanks for reading…


From: Julia Allison
Date: May 18, 2009 2:27:25 AM EDT
To: L.
Subject: Re: Samson

You were right - I’m awake :)

And I’ve been there. Beeeeeelieve me, I’ve been there.

Here’s the deal: do not be afraid. (sound familiar?)

Everything - EVERYTHING - in life is here to teach you something. The more receptive you are to that lesson, the more life can give you the joy you seek. If you don’t listen, life will try to get your attention in a painful manner.

Instead of having nightmares about finding a job, why don’t you sit down - right now - and put on paper what your “ideal life” is.

Make a list … like this:

My ideal life is …

List twenty things. Anything! Paint a very vivid picture. Be as detailed as possible - the more specific you can be, the better. (“I’ll have an apartment with two bathrooms and a pink kitchen and windows facing the east.” “I’ll eat dinner with my boyfriend every evening.” “I’ll have a career that allows me to use my talent for public speaking.” etc)

Do it right now, okay?

Then start to believe it. DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE HOW. The how is not important. Just focus on what you want - the end. The how? Leave that to the universe.


Just remember - if life answered all of your question marks … what would you have left to discover?


And yet this act of grand kindness to a complete "stranger" still couldn't cause Jackles to fall asleep. At 6:30 a.m., there was this Tweet:

"Wake up happy, chase a cloud, savor a memory, laugh out loud. Whisper a promise. Whistle a tune. Fall asleep with a smile for the moon."

She is SO. HAPPY! Life is SO awesome, people!!! All-nighters and pretending to be Oprah makes for such a FULFILLING EXISTENCE, people! Don't worry about the how!! Just about the what!!! That's what she's done, and look at what a rousing success her life is!

p.s. Thanks to a reader for the awesome Hunter S. Thompson poster.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Julia: She Likes Abuse!

A Tweet in apparent response to the outraged RBNS commenter who e-mailed her about her Hunter S. Thompson comparison (that's ThompsOn, Jackles, not ThompsEn) earlier tonight.

Part of me loves getting self-righteous people riled up. It's a terrible habit, it really is. But ...errr... why am I grinning right now? ;)13 minutes ago from web

Fear and Loathing. Mostly Loathing.

UPDATED TO ADD: Also a little bit developmentally changed too.