Welcome to the terrible majesty of the bray and the cray!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Julia: Another Trip Down Memory Lane
Here's Jackles, back before the nose job, Botox, Restalyne and tranny makeup. This accompanied a Glamor magazine piece on her love of her vibrator that was sick-making. Because I find her about as sexy as Liz Smith, I could barely get through it. Vom.
She thinks it's edgy to own a vibrator, which is why she was so proud of it. And to brag about it screams "MEN, PAY ATTENTION TO ME, THINK ABOUT MY COOTER!" I kind of feel sorry for Julia's sexual repression.
She has had a LOT of work done. Her chin is different too. It's much bigger in this photo than the current iteration. Her teeth too -- but that was pretty obvious. Those caps are massive.
People can feel free to take this notion to task, but i don't think plastic surgery is 'feminist' in my understanding of what this movement is about.
To me plastic surgery is the ultimate capitulation to the patriarchy. But what the fuck do i know? I am sure Camille Paglia and Courtney Love can re-school me on this issue. Heh.
If [jackles-acted] and [rambo-acted] and [megahnaise-acted] actually did some work it might be that TMI Weekly videos would not loose over 3/4ths of the viewing audience in the last 6 months.
I don't know if she's had all too much surgery. Just injections and caps I'd wager. Her weight gain is probably the cause for other body changes, like the bigger boobs.
The most startling change is the eyebrows. She had them reshaped. She also regularly dyes her hair and eyebrows WAY darker. No chin implant and her cheeks are simply more filled out.
HELLOOOO FRIENDS!!! I can call you that, right? We're friends now, aren't we? Last night was a success... I only stayed up until 4 a.m.! I just had so much running through my brain after my dinner with [redacted]. I will tell you who his is after we shift paradigms and change the world. AND WE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD AND CHANGE TRADITIONAL FORMS OF PUBLISHING!!! Blogging is such a fascinating new medium, I just can't get enough of it!
So much has changed since I began blogging. In fact, I went back and looked at my first twitters and they were so adorable I decided that I will throw myself another epic bash for my one year twitter birthday. Please email me with your crazy ideas and photo shoot ideas ASAP. My first twitters were from back when I hung out with my besties Charles Forman, Caroline McCarthy and David Karp. All. The. Time. They were so awesome and so Web 2.0. They couldn't make it to my party (well, Charles popped by for five minutes) but I know they were probably just too busy shifting paradigms. I hang with paradigm shifters, y'all, that's just how revolutionary I am. In addition to shifting paradigms, I will also be at the forefront of bringing hair bows for adults into fashion, as well as aprons. BECAUSE I AM SO CRAAAAAZY AND FUN AND INEFFABLE!!! (call me, Alexander! please!)
Well, that is all for now. I am crazy exhausted after taping SIX episodes of TMI yesterday. At least Mary was kind enough to let me dress myself, oops, I mean STYLE myself. I picked out my very favorite St. Patrick's Day dress because, if you haven't guessed before, I LOVE TO DRESS FOR HOLIDAYS!!!
Speaking of holidays, don't forget to check back on my blog for my birthday photo shoot photos and recap, coming soon, I promise!!!! XOXOXOXO BUNNIES!!!!
"Teaching Spin Tonight at 5:30pm Wanna come work off the cookies? Or (fill in the blank with your own vise)? Click here or just come (117 W 72nd btwn Columbus and Amsterdam). No excuses, we have shoes for you!"
I am SO there. I have a mean vise that I have been meaning to work off for weeks. It just keeps getting tighter and tighter. I am sure a spin class will take care of it.
Mary is so revealing - she thinks the only reason to exercise is to burn off calories of something "bad" you ate or drank - not because it's healthy for your heart or good for you.
Some of you might not want to check this out, but that purported new chick tagging along to europe with JACankles (the blonde dumb one) has an uncanny resemblance to a porn star called Nikki Jayne. Here is the blonde bimbo: http://www.nickmcglynn.com/randomnightout/photos/albums/juliaallisonbirthday2009/pages/DSC_0036.html Here is Nikki Jayne (link NSFW) http://www.adultfilmdatabase.com/actor.cfm?actorid=46977
I would tend to believe that rumor. 6 episodes in one day? They're trying to get through March/April because they're all dying to get away from each other. Insomnia as a topic? That's just lazy.
As for Krystal ..if that horrid frost/dye job and slutty pink dress made for a 16 year old are any indication of her "style" tips....eww.
Maybe Krystal Burger's cliche niche will be party and event planning. She's really good at picking up balloons from Party City and cupcakes from a bakery. Just take Julia's word for it.
And now tell me again how all these CLASSY shenanigans will help attracting the eligible and accomplished mr. right whom she doesn't want right now because she has never been happier to be single despite continuing compulsive dating at inappropriate times and commentint on the karaoke duet of randi z. and hubby that's why she wants to get married? Seriously, how many is she? This Yuliverse is a scary place.
I cannot go over there, Mary did not write vise for vice, oh lord, I always thought Foolia was the forsaken one, but this is a four letter word people, vice and vise do not even sound the same.
Funny, Mary can spell restylane and colonic but vice, that's a tough one.
Why wouldn't they assign an intern to at least check the fourteen sentences she types a day. Oh yeah, the interns are busy getting headbands for foolia.
2:08 look, whoever you are: we are entitled to be hideous because we do not pretend to be anything else for the whole world to see. also, since when is NS all about reciprocity, the endeavour of those giving nothing, but wanting it all?
I think she's had 2 nose jobs. Her nose looks different now than in pics from even a few years ago. And her nose of few years ago looks different from her nose in high school.
And the cleavage? I don't think the difference in appearance has to do with weight gain as much as a little help from the good doctor.
I look hideous right now because I have a real job, where I do real work, and do not have time to "touch up" each day. However, I never critique weight etc. Also, I've never in my life, thought of taking numerous photos of myself, or hiring a photographer for a private shoot.
While WWJAD has another go at cakegate: http://wwjad.tumblr.com/post/83511032
Aaaand (drumroll) fauxtographer started posting his so far not so notable pics on fb and flickr: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=96597&id=571147467&l=22dbf
There is no excuse to look hideous. What does no time to "touch up" mean? Wake up 10 minutes earlier and put on some make-up? It's a good thing no one has a camera around.
Julia, I mean Anon 2:08 LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Yes, because everyone who calls Julia ugly is ugly. That's how life works.
Also, I personally don't think she is ugly but I do think she has messed with her face and doesn't need to. She would be much more beautiful if she was comfortable with herself, and she just so clearly isn't.
Oh and Julia, CRAP I mean Anon 3:02. Most people who work don't spend their day camera whoring and acting as though every minor accomplishment needs to be documented in photograph.
Look at me! I'm checking my email! *Snap* Look at me! I'm in a cab! *Snap* Look at me! I got dressed in the morning! *Snap*
"For the next week, I’m a full on [ed: hyphen?] commuter. As in [ed: colon or comma?] I’m staying in New Canaan and taking the train into NYC for work. It’s actuall [ed: actually] bitter sweet [ed: one word] because I love the quiet of NC,[ed: North Carolina?] but am really not a [ed: fan?] of having to travel 1.5 hours to get somewhere. The sweetness of space and quiet wins me over every time. And Mase loves it [ed: comma] too!"
HAHAHA Troll 3:02: I was obviously being SNARKY in response to the person who suggested we all post pictures of ourselves. As a SCHOOL TEACHER and PROFESSOR at a major university, I do not have time to do "touch up" makeup throughout the ffing day. Do I look hideous? No. I am wearing a work appropriate outfit, blown dry and fixed hair, and makeup (though I'd love to go no makeup, I'm just superficial). Unlike Julia, I do not have the lifestyle nor time to fix myself for photo shoots throughout the day.
That New Canaan train is a pain in the ass. Just get somebody to drive you to Stamford. And get the express to Grand Central. Only takes 45 minutes. There, Rambo, I saved you half an hour.
Wanted to offer some thoughts- I humbly ask you consider a few of my suggestions for this awesome site:
1.) Make a "all hype/no delivery" chart and put it in the sidebar, to monitor things Jankles promises but never follows through on.
2.) Please, please, please pretty please make a post featuring those wonkette "girl in the pink dress" photos. LOVE THEM, we should champion that old nose to the world!
3.) Plastic surgery analysis: before and after side by side comparison post, pointing out all the work done.
4.) Please implement a "tip jar" or paypal link so fans can send in some cheddar to help this operation.
5.) Bring in Total Jing as a contributor, she has some great analysis.
Looking at the fauxtographer's photos, it's quite clear that Julia had her lips plumped. That's probably why her mouth never looks right. It's almost as bad as Col. Tigh's wife on BSG. Awwwwwwwful.
Sausage Fingers: didn't Mary say in a TMI episode that Julia had lip injections? I feel like Julia might have blogged about it before as well...
I don't think there is any doubt that Julia has had work done. She has obviously had a nose job and Mary has passive-aggressively let drop that she has had injections for wrinkles/whatever. I doubt she has had a boob job, she just knows the importance of a good bra, flattering clothes and how to hold her tits around a photog. I would say she is a B/C cup. The chin thing is probably just the camera angle. Julia's parents don't have THAT deep of pockets (even though she wants people to believe that she was raised near a "country club") especially if the girl's idea of class is bebe and Betsey Johnson.
Yeah, I love the whole "REAL pearls" bit. Really, Julia? You think you're special because you have real pearls? Honey, you're 28. I'm from a middle-middle class family, raised in a sleepy little town - hardly am I from the height of class - and my parent-revenue afforded me 2 sets by the time I was 21. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it.
A) Learn to be humble. B) Learn to realize that others around you are not impressed by your mediocrity. C) Stop being so impressed by your mediocrity.
Looking for an inexpensive gift that will still stand out and will make everyone think you spent a fortune? Then freshwater pearl jewelry is definitely worth considering. Freshwater pearls are considerably less expensive than other types of pearls, yet they come in a wide range of natural colors, sizes, and shapes.
If anyone needs a refresher, here is the video where Da Klassy Ladee brags on her freshwater pearls and red tights. Very profesh for klassy grownup conference, peoples!
In that video, Julia says she is wearing a camisol. Is that like an aerosol? Like aerosol deodorant? Degree and now Axe... what is it with women and their deodorant sponsorships? Is it to mask the stinky whiff of desperation that follows them wherever they go?
And from today's lifecast (because she puts it ALL out there) we can assume that Julia stayed up until 4:00 in the morning, slept/did nothing ALL DAY and is now going to a gym class... and that's it? But I thought she was SOOOOOO busy and glamorous and exciting and lifecasty!
When I google "Julia Allison," none of the reblogging sites show up on the first page. Better make sure we get RBNS's name out there on the first page.
Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison
What I am curious about is - who determines what is posted on NS? Is there some kind of a business model? Isn't that what Megan Alagna was supposed to be doing - producing the whole shebang? There appears to be no editorial control, the girls just post whatever, whenever. No consistency, no theme, no message, kind of risky as evidenced by some of Mary's off the wall comments. And kind of boring/repetitive.
You are very kind. I'm too much analysis at tim, though. It's that MSW, which I no longer use, haunting me. It's hard not to diagnose each of th NS girls from afar!
Does Meghan know that she's supposed to be LIFECASTING? I do not ffffing understand why these ladies, especially Meghan, are unable to produce content. I know people with full-time jobs, kids, and pets that are able to post lengthier and better edited pieces on their PRIVATE blog.
I know we've discussed this topic at length but I've not yet moved on from it...
I mean, you produce great content in order to attract readers. You keep producing similar content in order to attract those readers back to your blog-
If you check out Alexa.com, you'll see that NS has a serious issue with maintaining their audience. A large # do not read their blog after the first time, and many check in monthly.
Again, I have to believe that tits and ass are getting them their sponsors. Not actual tits and ass but a lot of winks and smiles.
The article Anon 6.16 kindly brought to our attention is slightly crap, though. Claims JA is regarded as "the living Carrie Bradshaw", that she started out as a "journalist", that "Julia sees herself as the mouthpiece of the modern female generation (born '82!)" and "by sharing banal topics such as men and fashion alongside her views on her role as a woman with regard to politics and self-perception she places the first building block for virtual friendship along the lines of a problem shared is a problem halved". The author awards her the (hopefully virtual) "Most Charming American Entrepreneurette 2009" and I would like to voice a heartfelt apology for my fellow Germans - we have a soft spot for deficient personalities as history has shown. oh, there was a live blog to the conference, too.
6:43: Good Lord. When has JA ever blogged about politics? When she talked about what she and her Sisters would be wearing to the CNN election night "blogger's party?" When she said she hated Joe Biden's nephew because she had a class with him once at Georgetown and he wouldn't sleep with her?
I would like to think that JAB thankfully avoided talking about politics, women's roles (outside of dating texiquette or whatever) and anything remotely important to the world.
Now, if only she would get Mary to stop yammering about how she hates that STEVIE WONDER WATCHING--HOW DARE HE??? President of ours, the site would be a little more interesting.
Oooo, get ready for Ramblo's post on Obama having the audacity to put a swing set on the pristene white house lawn for his daughters.
Next thing you know those first daughters will be sticking their tongues out at reporters and getting caught drinking with fake id's [ya know texas style]
Christ on a CRACKER! Jankles is SUCH an embarassment.
You can translate the comments from the article posted by Anon 6:16PM at BabelFish. It's not an exact translation, but it gives you a sense of what they are saying. Calling her stupid, and making fun of her. Priceless.
Also: has anyone else commented on Jankles massive MAN HANDS? Good. Lord. Talk about tranny-licious.
I think she had a breast lift or something similar, not an augmentation necessarily. But a bra only does so much and from what I've seen from her current and past photos, there's more of a change than just a bra could provide.
Sadly I pretty much know Julia Allison's breasts better than my own at this point, thanks to JA's love of her own cleavage and photographing herself incessantly.
How dare this hick Toolia ever talk about fashion or clothing designers? She's worn the same tired-ass look, hair included, since high school. She disgusts me on so many levels, but wearing what is essentially the same dress for 10 years is an illness, not a style. That's what cartoon characters do. She's Wilma Flintstone, fer chrissakes.
Has anyone checked out the comments over on guestofaguest.com lately? They are scathing. Here is the main post, with a few choice comments.
http://tiny.cc/zRVqo
Some of the individual pics have comments, too. The comment box warns "Anonymous...please be nice (or it won't be accepted)." I guess the nicest comments they got were things like this (from a Foolia/Ratty cupcake sniffing photo):
mmmm...smells like Ben Leventhal.
Oink oink.
Too much Botox makes the face immobile.
The comments on Foolia's teabag face were quite amusing:
You know, I'm not a big believer in accidents or coincidences. So color me skeptical in regards to Julia losing her phone TWICE in one month while at a rather large event where she's hanging out with hobnob worthy people.
What are the chances that little miss queen of self-promotion lost it on purpose and that there's some scandalous pics or text messages...or EMBARRASSING pics and text messages from other people?
Seeing as though she worships Paris Hilton, and this is a trick Paris has used a couple times, you gotta wonder if she isn't intentionally "losing" her used i-Phone.
When I go out, I never let my phone out of my sight. So how does this girl manage to lose it twice?
Julia isn't ugly she's just profoundly unattractive to the point of being totally repulsive. And she's really thick and clueless. And Mary's even more stupid. And the whole cupcake thing is like .... weird, and pathological. Who are these 'ten men' who would date Julia Allison? I find that very strange.
Foolia became free inventory when she was assigned to cover NYC Matchmakers for the Feb. Time Out NY Valentine issue. She was set up on dates as part of the research for that article and she is spinning those staged events as "men she is now dating" ?? Typical BS to keep you interested.
Ugh...I seriously have to quit paying attention these idiots - they are rotting my brain worse than MTV. Some parting thoughts:
Julia: Julia is a pretty girl, knows this, and uses it to her advantage. She also tries to come off as a "brain." Unfortunately, Jules, you get one or the other. You can't play the boob card one hand and then start philosophizing in the next. Sex sells. You figured that out, and good for you. But you're not all that smart. We all know how to read too. Just pack it in and be a trophy wife.
Mary: There is no excuse for this woman. She is NOT smart, and I therefore have no interest in her "advice" on "life." Having a college degree is not the equivalent of being an intelligent person. And yes, spelling really does count that much. I am so sorry that you never learned that, but it is the truth.
I don't really have a problem with Meghan. She seems pretty smart and occasionally down to earth. Like everyone else, I think she sees the error of her ways at this point.
Her physical resemblance to the Octo-mom is startling. Similar fashion sense too.
ReplyDeleteHer MENTAL resemblance to the Octo-mom is also startling.
ReplyDeleteShe thinks it's edgy to own a vibrator, which is why she was so proud of it. And to brag about it screams "MEN, PAY ATTENTION TO ME, THINK ABOUT MY COOTER!" I kind of feel sorry for Julia's sexual repression.
ReplyDeleteDid she get a boob job as well? Or are the current boobs all miracle bra?
ReplyDeleteShe has had a LOT of work done. Her chin is different too. It's much bigger in this photo than the current iteration. Her teeth too -- but that was pretty obvious. Those caps are massive.
ReplyDeletePeople can feel free to take this notion to task, but i don't think plastic surgery is 'feminist' in my understanding of what this movement is about.
To me plastic surgery is the ultimate capitulation to the patriarchy. But what the fuck do i know? I am sure Camille Paglia and Courtney Love can re-school me on this issue. Heh.
If [jackles-acted] and [rambo-acted] and [megahnaise-acted] actually did some work it might be that TMI Weekly videos would not loose over 3/4ths of the viewing audience in the last 6 months.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if she's had all too much surgery. Just injections and caps I'd wager. Her weight gain is probably the cause for other body changes, like the bigger boobs.
ReplyDeleteI'd guess Julia Baugher has had injections, veneers and a nose job, which is very evident by looking at these old Wonkette photos from 2004:
ReplyDeletehttp://wonkette.com/3620/whos-that-girl-in-pink
No matter what she's done (it was only acne treatments!) she definitely has that horribly "done" look now. So, so waxy looking.
The most startling change is the eyebrows. She had them reshaped. She also regularly dyes her hair and eyebrows WAY darker. No chin implant and her cheeks are simply more filled out.
ReplyDeleteI just had an epiphany. JA's perfect man is Spencer Pratt. I really think they'd be a match made in heaven. Discuss.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-P_MDXq_oY
ReplyDeleteHELLOOOO FRIENDS!!! I can call you that, right? We're friends now, aren't we? Last night was a success... I only stayed up until 4 a.m.! I just had so much running through my brain after my dinner with [redacted]. I will tell you who his is after we shift paradigms and change the world. AND WE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD AND CHANGE TRADITIONAL FORMS OF PUBLISHING!!! Blogging is such a fascinating new medium, I just can't get enough of it!
ReplyDeleteSo much has changed since I began blogging. In fact, I went back and looked at my first twitters and they were so adorable I decided that I will throw myself another epic bash for my one year twitter birthday. Please email me with your crazy ideas and photo shoot ideas ASAP. My first twitters were from back when I hung out with my besties Charles Forman, Caroline McCarthy and David Karp. All. The. Time. They were so awesome and so Web 2.0. They couldn't make it to my party (well, Charles popped by for five minutes) but I know they were probably just too busy shifting paradigms. I hang with paradigm shifters, y'all, that's just how revolutionary I am. In addition to shifting paradigms, I will also be at the forefront of bringing hair bows for adults into fashion, as well as aprons. BECAUSE I AM SO CRAAAAAZY AND FUN AND INEFFABLE!!! (call me, Alexander! please!)
Well, that is all for now. I am crazy exhausted after taping SIX episodes of TMI yesterday. At least Mary was kind enough to let me dress myself, oops, I mean STYLE myself. I picked out my very favorite St. Patrick's Day dress because, if you haven't guessed before, I LOVE TO DRESS FOR HOLIDAYS!!!
Speaking of holidays, don't forget to check back on my blog for my birthday photo shoot photos and recap, coming soon, I promise!!!! XOXOXOXO BUNNIES!!!!
Okay, how did Mary make MAson the dog gay?
ReplyDeleteMary you cannot make a human or animal gay, it does not work that way hun..unless you have made JAckles Lesbian..
Mary:
ReplyDelete"Teaching Spin Tonight at 5:30pm
Wanna come work off the cookies? Or (fill in the blank with your own vise)? Click here or just come (117 W 72nd btwn Columbus and Amsterdam). No excuses, we have shoes for you!"
I am SO there. I have a mean vise that I have been meaning to work off for weeks. It just keeps getting tighter and tighter. I am sure a spin class will take care of it.
Mary is so revealing - she thinks the only reason to exercise is to burn off calories of something "bad" you ate or drank - not because it's healthy for your heart or good for you.
ReplyDeleteJulia's Brain: I love you and your shifting paradigms. That is all.
ReplyDeleteEveryone from Winnetka knows Julia got her nose job right after high school. Trust-- I'm not making this up.
ReplyDeleteSome of you might not want to check this out, but that purported new chick tagging along to europe with JACankles (the blonde dumb one) has an uncanny resemblance to a porn star called Nikki Jayne.
ReplyDeleteHere is the blonde bimbo:
http://www.nickmcglynn.com/randomnightout/photos/albums/juliaallisonbirthday2009/pages/DSC_0036.html
Here is Nikki Jayne (link NSFW)
http://www.adultfilmdatabase.com/actor.cfm?actorid=46977
Don't ask me how I found this out.
JA: Lucy
ReplyDeleteMR: Ethel
MA: ??
The dress Krystal Burger wore to Julia's birthday party? I wore the exact same one to my prom in 1995.
ReplyDeleteGuys I keep hearing whispers that the NNN TMI contract is over..
ReplyDeleteAnon 12:27
ReplyDeleteMA = Little Ricky or Big Ricky's set of bongos
I would tend to believe that rumor. 6 episodes in one day? They're trying to get through March/April because they're all dying to get away from each other. Insomnia as a topic? That's just lazy.
ReplyDeleteAs for Krystal ..if that horrid frost/dye job and slutty pink dress made for a 16 year old are any indication of her "style" tips....eww.
Maybe Krystal Burger's cliche niche will be party and event planning. She's really good at picking up balloons from Party City and cupcakes from a bakery. Just take Julia's word for it.
ReplyDeleteNoooo, don't compare them to I Love Lucy characters! That show is too awesome.
ReplyDeleteJackles was sent back in time to kill Kevin Rose before Diggnation before Digg and Before Screensavers..
ReplyDeleteExcept she got the date wrong..
She needed help Peoples
She cloned/made Rambo and Meghaniase to aid her quest
That dress looks terrible on her. Her breasts look disgusting.
ReplyDeleteKK = Coke Whore.
ReplyDeleteAnd now tell me again how all these CLASSY shenanigans will help attracting the eligible and accomplished mr. right whom she doesn't want right now because she has never been happier to be single despite continuing compulsive dating at inappropriate times and commentint on the karaoke duet of randi z. and hubby that's why she wants to get married? Seriously, how many is she? This Yuliverse is a scary place.
ReplyDeleteWe at BrainDead Incorporated are very much in need of spokesperson.
ReplyDeleteWe are proud to announce that coming April we are the sole sponsorship and broadcasting partner for TMI Weekly..
Look for it at BrainDead.com
For future reference, it's spelled GlamoUr....
ReplyDeleteahahaha the Yuliverse! I love it, 1:26.
ReplyDeleteJealous mush: I have a huge girl crush on you!
ReplyDeleteI cannot go over there, Mary did not write vise for vice, oh lord, I always thought Foolia was the forsaken one, but this is a four letter word people, vice and vise do not even sound the same.
Funny, Mary can spell restylane and colonic but vice, that's a tough one.
Why wouldn't they assign an intern to at least check the fourteen sentences she types a day. Oh yeah, the interns are busy getting headbands for foolia.
How about this. If you comment on JA's appearance or any of the other NS girls, you also post a picture of yourself.
ReplyDeleteanon 2:08 hi JA..wave
ReplyDeleteFuck you, 2:08. Srsly.
ReplyDelete2:08 look, whoever you are: we are entitled to be hideous because we do not pretend to be anything else for the whole world to see. also, since when is NS all about reciprocity, the endeavour of those giving nothing, but wanting it all?
ReplyDeleteAnon 12:18
ReplyDeleteI think she's had 2 nose jobs. Her nose looks different now than in pics from even a few years ago. And her nose of few years ago looks different from her nose in high school.
And the cleavage? I don't think the difference in appearance has to do with weight gain as much as a little help from the good doctor.
I look hideous right now because I have a real job, where I do real work, and do not have time to "touch up" each day. However, I never critique weight etc. Also, I've never in my life, thought of taking numerous photos of myself, or hiring a photographer for a private shoot.
ReplyDeleteMary's spin place rents shoes? Like a bowling alley? Kah-lass-say!
ReplyDeleteIn other news...
ReplyDeleteTrainwrecks like the paradigm shift twitteria:
http://trainwrecks.tumblr.com/post/83383304/wwjad-56-be-as-vague-as-possible-just-because
While WWJAD has another go at cakegate:
http://wwjad.tumblr.com/post/83511032
Aaaand (drumroll) fauxtographer started posting his so far not so notable pics on fb and flickr:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=96597&id=571147467&l=22dbf
There is no excuse to look hideous. What does no time to "touch up" mean? Wake up 10 minutes earlier and put on some make-up? It's a good thing no one has a camera around.
ReplyDeleteAnonytroll 2:08 - we will stop talking about their appearances when they stop talking about their appearances. Agreed?
ReplyDeleteJulia, I mean Anon 2:08 LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteYes, because everyone who calls Julia ugly is ugly. That's how life works.
Also, I personally don't think she is ugly but I do think she has messed with her face and doesn't need to. She would be much more beautiful if she was comfortable with herself, and she just so clearly isn't.
Oh and Julia, CRAP I mean Anon 3:02. Most people who work don't spend their day camera whoring and acting as though every minor accomplishment needs to be documented in photograph.
ReplyDeleteLook at me! I'm checking my email! *Snap*
Look at me! I'm in a cab! *Snap*
Look at me! I got dressed in the morning! *Snap*
Mary's blog:
ReplyDelete"For the next week, I’m a full on [ed: hyphen?] commuter. As in [ed: colon or comma?] I’m staying in New Canaan and taking the train into NYC for work. It’s actuall [ed: actually] bitter sweet [ed: one word] because I love the quiet of NC,[ed: North Carolina?] but am really not a [ed: fan?] of having to travel 1.5 hours to get somewhere. The sweetness of space and quiet wins me over every time. And Mase loves it [ed: comma] too!"
Somebody got kicked off of Meghan's couch. Is it time to sell those $700 YSLs for rent money, homeless girl?
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA Troll 3:02: I was obviously being SNARKY in response to the person who suggested we all post pictures of ourselves. As a SCHOOL TEACHER and PROFESSOR at a major university, I do not have time to do "touch up" makeup throughout the ffing day. Do I look hideous? No. I am wearing a work appropriate outfit, blown dry and fixed hair, and makeup (though I'd love to go no makeup, I'm just superficial). Unlike Julia, I do not have the lifestyle nor time to fix myself for photo shoots throughout the day.
ReplyDeleteNC = New Caanan
ReplyDeleteThat New Canaan train is a pain in the ass. Just get somebody to drive you to Stamford. And get the express to Grand Central. Only takes 45 minutes. There, Rambo, I saved you half an hour.
ReplyDeleteHello RBNS!
ReplyDeleteWanted to offer some thoughts- I humbly ask you consider a few of my suggestions for this awesome site:
1.) Make a "all hype/no delivery" chart and put it in the sidebar, to monitor things Jankles promises but never follows through on.
2.) Please, please, please pretty please make a post featuring those wonkette "girl in the pink dress" photos. LOVE THEM, we should champion that old nose to the world!
3.) Plastic surgery analysis: before and after side by side comparison post, pointing out all the work done.
4.) Please implement a "tip jar" or paypal link so fans can send in some cheddar to help this operation.
5.) Bring in Total Jing as a contributor, she has some great analysis.
Regards,
Anon
[redacted] NonEntity - Paradigm Shifter! ....I call your bluff...clearly you are Captain Obvious.
ReplyDeleteBut lifecasting is a job!
ReplyDelete12:03 -- You made me laugh!!
ReplyDeleteWorkin' off the vise!
HAHAHAAHHA
Is Toolia STILL sleeping?
ReplyDeleteYes, Broomhilda is stil sleeeping from her tiring 6 TMI shoot day
ReplyDeleteLooking at the fauxtographer's photos, it's quite clear that Julia had her lips plumped. That's probably why her mouth never looks right. It's almost as bad as Col. Tigh's wife on BSG. Awwwwwwwful.
ReplyDeleteSausage Fingers: didn't Mary say in a TMI episode that Julia had lip injections? I feel like Julia might have blogged about it before as well...
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is any doubt that Julia has had work done. She has obviously had a nose job and Mary has passive-aggressively let drop that she has had injections for wrinkles/whatever. I doubt she has had a boob job, she just knows the importance of a good bra, flattering clothes and how to hold her tits around a photog. I would say she is a B/C cup. The chin thing is probably just the camera angle. Julia's parents don't have THAT deep of pockets (even though she wants people to believe that she was raised near a "country club") especially if the girl's idea of class is bebe and Betsey Johnson.
Anon 4:35 "...the girl's idea of class is bebe and Betsey Johnson."
ReplyDeleteHit it on the nail. So apt it hurts.
Only Da Klassy Ladeez wear Juicy sweatsuits, tutus, freshwater pearls, plastic nails, H&M plaid skirts and Forever 21 headbands. DUH.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I love the whole "REAL pearls" bit. Really, Julia? You think you're special because you have real pearls? Honey, you're 28. I'm from a middle-middle class family, raised in a sleepy little town - hardly am I from the height of class - and my parent-revenue afforded me 2 sets by the time I was 21. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it.
ReplyDeleteA) Learn to be humble. B) Learn to realize that others around you are not impressed by your mediocrity. C) Stop being so impressed by your mediocrity.
freshwater pearls is another name for oh fake pearls folks..:)
ReplyDeleteThink about it real hard..where do real pearls grow? Salt water.where do fake pearls grow? freshwater..
Remember the JA MO folks.fake it every day
This coverage of Julia Allison was by:
Skyy Vodka
Breaking News:
ReplyDeleteJA cannot even do one exercise bike ride :)
http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/83582432-0-2
Jules so afraid of work
oh oh Mary rot has set in, from JA:
ReplyDeleteMary is going to kick our asses. I is very scared!
This coverage of NS brought to you by Skyy Vodka
Looking for an inexpensive gift that will still stand out and will make everyone think you spent a fortune? Then freshwater pearl jewelry is definitely worth considering. Freshwater pearls are considerably less expensive than other types of pearls, yet they come in a wide range of natural colors, sizes, and shapes.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thepearloutlet.com/freshwater-pearls.htm
If anyone needs a refresher, here is the video where Da Klassy Ladee brags on her freshwater pearls and red tights. Very profesh for klassy grownup conference, peoples!
ReplyDeleteBlergity blergh blergh. I was blinded by the fancy red tights and forgot to include the link:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjdJMlW9voo
In that video, Julia says she is wearing a camisol. Is that like an aerosol? Like aerosol deodorant? Degree and now Axe... what is it with women and their deodorant sponsorships? Is it to mask the stinky whiff of desperation that follows them wherever they go?
ReplyDeleteAnd from today's lifecast (because she puts it ALL out there) we can assume that Julia stayed up until 4:00 in the morning, slept/did nothing ALL DAY and is now going to a gym class... and that's it? But I thought she was SOOOOOO busy and glamorous and exciting and lifecasty!
When I google "Julia Allison," none of the reblogging sites show up on the first page. Better make sure we get RBNS's name out there on the first page.
ReplyDeleteJulia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison
Heh
ReplyDeleteWhat I am curious about is - who determines what is posted on NS? Is there some kind of a business model? Isn't that what Megan Alagna was supposed to be doing - producing the whole shebang?
ReplyDeleteThere appears to be no editorial control, the girls just post whatever, whenever. No consistency, no theme, no message, kind of risky as evidenced by some of Mary's off the wall comments. And kind of boring/repetitive.
Anon 4:34:
ReplyDeleteYou are very kind. I'm too much analysis at tim, though. It's that MSW, which I no longer use, haunting me. It's hard not to diagnose each of th NS girls from afar!
Oops. I meant, *time and *the *a far
ReplyDeleteI'm having huge issues with my laptop keyboard these days. I apologize for my frequent typos.
http://www.lesmads.de/2009/01/julia_alison_im_interview_beim_dld09.html
ReplyDeletesome of the comments are great -
"dios mio - she f***in scares me!"
Does Meghan know that she's supposed to be LIFECASTING? I do not ffffing understand why these ladies, especially Meghan, are unable to produce content. I know people with full-time jobs, kids, and pets that are able to post lengthier and better edited pieces on their PRIVATE blog.
ReplyDeleteI know we've discussed this topic at length but I've not yet moved on from it...
I mean, you produce great content in order to attract readers. You keep producing similar content in order to attract those readers back to your blog-
If you check out Alexa.com, you'll see that NS has a serious issue with maintaining their audience. A large # do not read their blog after the first time, and many check in monthly.
Again, I have to believe that tits and ass are getting them their sponsors. Not actual tits and ass but a lot of winks and smiles.
The article Anon 6.16 kindly brought to our attention is slightly crap, though. Claims JA is regarded as "the living Carrie Bradshaw", that she started out as a "journalist", that "Julia sees herself as the mouthpiece of the modern female generation (born '82!)" and "by sharing banal topics such as men and fashion alongside her views on her role as a woman with regard to politics and self-perception she places the first building block for virtual friendship along the lines of a problem shared is a problem halved". The author awards her the (hopefully virtual) "Most Charming American Entrepreneurette 2009" and I would like to voice a heartfelt apology for my fellow Germans - we have a soft spot for deficient personalities as history has shown.
ReplyDeleteoh, there was a live blog to the conference, too.
http://www.dld-conference.com/2009/01/telling-stories.php
6:43: Good Lord. When has JA ever blogged about politics? When she talked about what she and her Sisters would be wearing to the CNN election night "blogger's party?" When she said she hated Joe Biden's nephew because she had a class with him once at Georgetown and he wouldn't sleep with her?
ReplyDeleteI would like to think that JAB thankfully avoided talking about politics, women's roles (outside of dating texiquette or whatever) and anything remotely important to the world.
Now, if only she would get Mary to stop yammering about how she hates that STEVIE WONDER WATCHING--HOW DARE HE??? President of ours, the site would be a little more interesting.
Oooo, get ready for Ramblo's post on Obama having the audacity to put a swing set on the pristene white house lawn for his daughters.
ReplyDeleteNext thing you know those first daughters will be sticking their tongues out at reporters and getting caught drinking with fake id's [ya know texas style]
Sorry, but for all the people here that insisted mary and meghan are close, uh, as close as new york and new canaan.
ReplyDeleteNew Idea, let's count the errors in Mary's post.
ReplyDeleteGet your calculators out.
Ouch, *posts.
ReplyDeleteTotal Jing
ReplyDeleteat least you acknowledge your typos.
Anon @ 3:46, PLEASE stop drinking Mary's booze! It's made you as incoherent as she is.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of boozy, wow, tequila and grey goose in one post.
ReplyDeleteMary, your brain called, STOP MIXING.
re: video posted by Jealous Mush 5:54PM
ReplyDeleteChrist on a CRACKER! Jankles is SUCH an embarassment.
You can translate the comments from the article posted by Anon 6:16PM at BabelFish. It's not an exact translation, but it gives you a sense of what they are saying. Calling her stupid, and making fun of her. Priceless.
Also: has anyone else commented on Jankles massive MAN HANDS? Good. Lord. Talk about tranny-licious.
Do you think that Mary/Julia/Meghan all went to spin together in order to dispel rumors?
ReplyDeleteAnon 4:35
ReplyDeleteI think she had a breast lift or something similar, not an augmentation necessarily. But a bra only does so much and from what I've seen from her current and past photos, there's more of a change than just a bra could provide.
Sadly I pretty much know Julia Allison's breasts better than my own at this point, thanks to JA's love of her own cleavage and photographing herself incessantly.
Remember when all else fails in understanding NS Girls..
ReplyDeleteSkyy Vodka
I thought it was PINK Vodka? Mary says us gals should drink Vodka, strait, when out on the town to keep those tummies flat!
ReplyDeleteGroundbreaking journalism:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5wzfFqWHxM&feature=related
@6:48: The Audacity of a Dope
ReplyDeleteHow dare this hick Toolia ever talk about fashion or clothing designers? She's worn the same tired-ass look, hair included, since high school. She disgusts me on so many levels, but wearing what is essentially the same dress for 10 years is an illness, not a style. That's what cartoon characters do. She's Wilma Flintstone, fer chrissakes.
ReplyDeleteIt is pink vodka
ReplyDeleteTotal Jing, thanks for your comment at 6:20.
ReplyDeleteIt warrants mentioning that Rambo's Fashion expertise, pathetic though it may be, dwarfs the tech knowledge of Meghanaise.
I heard a rumor that the Yuliverse is going Mayonegative on 4/1/2009.
ReplyDeleteIs Meghan really as flat-chested as people claim? I thought she had something up there. :(
ReplyDeleteYou know, we need a dictionary on RBNS. So many great words have been coined here (e.g. fauxtographer).
ReplyDeleteAnon 9:15: Seriously?
ReplyDeleteHas anyone checked out the comments over on guestofaguest.com lately? They are scathing. Here is the main post, with a few choice comments.
ReplyDeletehttp://tiny.cc/zRVqo
Some of the individual pics have comments, too. The comment box warns "Anonymous...please be nice (or it won't be accepted)." I guess the nicest comments they got were things like this (from a Foolia/Ratty cupcake sniffing photo):
mmmm...smells like Ben Leventhal.
Oink oink.
Too much Botox makes the face immobile.
The comments on Foolia's teabag face were quite amusing:
http://guestofaguest.com/galleries/album649/33337/
They even allowed my remark about "cupcake cunnilingus."
THANK YOU, Guest of a Guest peeps.
Wow, I always thought Guest of a Guest was a Julia Fangirl? They always seemed to suck up to her so much.
ReplyDeleteIs the tide turning?
You know, I'm not a big believer in accidents or coincidences. So color me skeptical in regards to Julia losing her phone TWICE in one month while at a rather large event where she's hanging out with hobnob worthy people.
ReplyDeleteWhat are the chances that little miss queen of self-promotion lost it on purpose and that there's some scandalous pics or text messages...or EMBARRASSING pics and text messages from other people?
Seeing as though she worships Paris Hilton, and this is a trick Paris has used a couple times, you gotta wonder if she isn't intentionally "losing" her used i-Phone.
When I go out, I never let my phone out of my sight. So how does this girl manage to lose it twice?
Hmmmmm....
http://i44.tinypic.com/2q0mywh.png
ReplyDeleteSweet dreams, everyone!!
she didn't get a boob job - just this product. coming soon as an ns sponsor.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1159446/Meet-Girdle-Girl-How-I-gave-total-body-lift-going-knife.html
Julia isn't ugly she's just profoundly unattractive to the point of being totally repulsive. And she's really thick and clueless. And Mary's even more stupid. And the whole cupcake thing is like .... weird, and pathological. Who are these 'ten men' who would date Julia Allison? I find that very strange.
ReplyDeleteFoolia became free inventory when she was assigned to cover NYC Matchmakers for the Feb. Time Out NY Valentine issue. She was set up on dates as part of the research for that article and she is spinning those staged events as "men she is now dating" ?? Typical BS to keep you interested.
ReplyDeleteUgh...I seriously have to quit paying attention these idiots - they are rotting my brain worse than MTV. Some parting thoughts:
ReplyDeleteJulia: Julia is a pretty girl, knows this, and uses it to her advantage. She also tries to come off as a "brain." Unfortunately, Jules, you get one or the other. You can't play the boob card one hand and then start philosophizing in the next. Sex sells. You figured that out, and good for you. But you're not all that smart. We all know how to read too. Just pack it in and be a trophy wife.
Mary: There is no excuse for this woman. She is NOT smart, and I therefore have no interest in her "advice" on "life." Having a college degree is not the equivalent of being an intelligent person. And yes, spelling really does count that much. I am so sorry that you never learned that, but it is the truth.
I don't really have a problem with Meghan. She seems pretty smart and occasionally down to earth. Like everyone else, I think she sees the error of her ways at this point.
10:21, you naughty minx. That pic was divinely horrifying.
ReplyDeleteCorrection, XOXO, Julia WAS a pretty girl. She may still be photogenic, but in person, her face looks positively beat.
ReplyDelete