We love our readers. They point us to crazy photographs. So this from 2006.
I no snark on Poofy's appearance anymore (it new me!). But I just say:
YOU GO WITH THE ANTI-AGING THINGIE, RAMBO!!
(For seers.)
UPDATE: No, I study photograph. RAMBO, WHAT YOU TAKE? YOU LOOK SO MUCH YOUNGER NOW!! Call me and give me some of that!!! (Is it booze? That work for me!)
Clearly Mary is a cybernetic organism sent from the future in order protect Julia Allison from the haters and prepare the way for NonSociety's economic and political ascendancy. All hail our future overlords!
ReplyDeleteFrom Alexa.com:
ReplyDeleteWhere people go on Nonsociety.com: What's This?
* julia.nonsociety.com - 63.9%
* nonsociety.com - 19.6%
* mary.nonsociety.com - 8.3%
* meghan.nonsociety.com - 8.2%
Let's just not go to Julia's page anymore, friends.
Who knew you could rehydrate beef jerky? The straw-hair could not be saved, however, so she mercifully cut it off and gave it a decent burial.
ReplyDeleteTanning and bleach are your frenemies. I'm glad you figured that out, Mary.
Jankles, your frenemies are legion and your "style" is in a vegetative state (along with your dignity.)
No need to ever visit Jackles page at NS, because it's all here in her Facebook notes, in real-time:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/notes.php?id=8656939666
RBNS, you should permalink this for the masses.
Am I the only one that thinks Mary looked waaaay better before? Her current cut makes her look like a drab turtle head - it ages and frumps her so much... She could ditch the fake tan in the photo but as for the hair? Much hotter, longer, IMO.
ReplyDeleteThat hairstyle makes her head look huge.
ReplyDeleteI guess it goes well with her man hands, though.
Julia Allison is a tool. That's the best word for her.
ReplyDeleteToolia looked so much better back then, my God. She looked human, not like some waxen Charo imitator.
ReplyDelete1:22, I think you ARE the only one who likes that dried-out, limp and lifeless hank of straw she was trying to pass off as "hair."
ReplyDeleteHer new style isn't that great, especially because she doesn't know how to use product or work any styling implements. It does appear to be healthier and fuller, though, and it looks nice when she has it styled for special events. If she grows it out, I hope she has learned not to overprocess it to the point of thinness and awful breakage that she had before.
With shorter hair, Mary has gained the ability to look chic (on occasion). Before, she was stuck in preppy land, which is where Toolia grazes (and will, forever).
ReplyDeleteThis pic is another good example of how that long, limp hair aged her:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nypost.com/pagesixmag/issues/20080727/images/buzz/sixinthecity/5.jpg
Note: she didn't have a clue what to do with her long hair, either. Doesn't she live in a town that has a beauty salon nearby? I'm just a humble working gal, but I can afford to get my hair done up for special events.
Agreed 1:13. A permanent link on the RBNS home page to JA's FB posts would be a good thing. Those who just can't stay away can at least see her posts without contributing page views or dealing with that awful format they have going on over at NS.
ReplyDeleteAnon 1:13am, thanks for the Facebook link! Great idea.
ReplyDelete"BiCoastal Birthday Bash Wrap Up, by Randi - Mine coming Wednesday! ::" -- Julia
Today's Wednesday. Who wants to bet that Julia's Wrap Up never materializes? If it does, I can't imagine it will be much more than a few additional kissy-face pics with captions (unlike Randi, who was able to write out a thoughtful mult-paragragh piece within 24hrs of the party)...
A photo caption on Juila's blog: "Prepping for TMI today. The woman doing my eyes is Maria Maio, the most incredible makeup artist. :: I first met her on a pilot I taped last December, and she completely transformed me. She is a goddess."
ReplyDeleteOh, sweetie. Would that be the pilot for your Bravo show? The one with the option that ran out last month? The one that you were looking for the huge live/work space for? Has it been [redacted] from their lineup?
First the wrap of was coming Tuesday. She announced Monday night that her wrap up would be coming "Tomorrow." Then she edited that blog post to say, "Wednesday."
ReplyDeleteOn one hand, I think it would be awesome if we kept a chart of "promises" or "deadlines" that JA and company fails to follow through on. On the other hand, knowing they read this site, I could see such a list becoming a helpful tool/reminder for them that they use to "prove" us wrong.
Still, I can count 10 things off the top of my head that NEVER were produced and, yet, were promised. Do they do this to their sponsors?
Julia's twitter -- ""3-5 years from now, people will no longer be drawing a distinction b/t traditional forms of publishing and what we know as blogs today."
ReplyDeleteJust because you have a blog doesn't mean your shifting publishing paradigms, hon. That blog actually has to be readable. But it's cute that you think your web business will still be around in 3 to 5 years. Is that when you planned to sell it for millions?
Total Jing, there was an entire post about Nonsociety Nonstarters last month... it was hilarious! TONS of stuff they hyped the hell out of and promised but never delivered on. Here's just a few off the top of my head:
ReplyDelete- Julia bragging about the huge loft for taping the reality show... then silence.
- The reality show period.
- Discussion on Paul Carr's article.
- Discussions on her obsession of the day - religion, spirituality, etc.
- Birthday recap.
- CES recap.
- Davos recap.
- DLD recap.
- Business school application/attendance.
-Moving to San Francisco? That was the latest obsession, but I guess Kevin Rose never called her back.
- Writing a screenplay. (you can look at her New Year's Resolutions for a gold mine of quickly forgotten promises)
- CES superlatives - what happened to that? Did they announce any sort of follow up?
I could go on...
- book club
ReplyDelete- "Let It Unfold" tattoo
- coloring her hair red
All of which I would LOVE to see happen. Bets on likely books for their book club, should it ever become more than a pipe dream? Foolia = something by Malcolm Gladwell or some pink-covered chick lit or Eat, Pray Love; Meghanaise = the business strategy airport bookshop book of the moment; and I bet Boozy doesn't read much so pretty much a wild card there.
Jealous Much--
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely correct! I forgot about that excellent post.
We should have a running ticker on reblogging with all the promises.
Can anyone in the "web 2.0" business or knowledge of it explain to me how NS is obtaining sponsors? Their pageviews are nonexistant. I don't get it.
Found this after being linked to that old picture and post from JA's archives. The ironing is delicious!
ReplyDeletehttp://blog.juliaallison.com/2006/07/dear_glamour_editorfabians_lit.html
Anon 9:55: Wow! How jealous was she!? (or why else would she have so thoroughly emulated him?) What a hater! Guess she was pissed because she didn't fit into his "model" demographic.
ReplyDeleteOh man. She's describing herself to a tee and also talking shit about someone on the internet, something she demands we don't do to her. What a piece of work.
ReplyDelete10:16
ReplyDeleteI was more taken by how she criticized Glamour for running a fluff piece on a useless, vain, shallow, self-obsessed douchetard. She was complaining that there was a five page spread of "Fabian smiling. Fabian dancing. Fabian blowing out his birthday candles. Fabian dipping various long-maned women while simultaneously posing for photos."
Oh, dear. Life is too much fun, sometimes.
More nonstarters:
ReplyDelete- Cisco videos - Mr. Roboto and the soap opera -barely got a mention although that's what they blame their lack of CES coverage on
- Julia attending the inauguration but unable to produce a single photo from the actual inauguration
- Julia writing for the Daily Beast
- working out / eating healthier - that lasted about two weeks
- one million page views
Here's the complete list of Julia's new year's resolutions/goals/nonstarters if you need a good laugh:
http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/67930464
The best one is "really bring A game content." HA HA HA HA HA
Re: Fabian Rant
ReplyDeleteI think this is a pretty great blog post, as blog posts go. I kept scrolling up to see where she quoted it from, but apparently Julia Allison wrote it herself. It's (1) original (2) content that's fluffy and (4) funny but also (5) detailed and full of (6) interesting commentary (7) relevant to women.
Seven things that exist nowhere in her blog's present form. Must have had to cut down on those to make room for all those scroll bars!
Julia definitely looks better here but she ruined that dress with the mental crinoline. It would have looked fantastic in its original drape and would have been the right length too. Way to baby it up and wreck the look with your little girl ballet-dancer dreams Jackles.
ReplyDeleteMary? Texas trophy wife, dollar store version. And is that an umlaut over the "e" in Moe? Oh Mary; you silly girl. Guess you dropped it PRONTO when someone informed you that your little wrist scrotums would then in fact be pronounced "Mooooo" bags.
Sorry this is so long, but here is the entire list of resolutions posted here, in case Julia Baugher decides to rewrite history and take them down, or if you don't want to give her a page view. What a gold mine of unintentional hilarity.
ReplyDelete--------------------
SPIRITUAL GROWTH
The most important resolution I have for 2009 is existential, and I’m having touble summing it up in a few words: Let It Unfold. It has to do with what I wrote here: shucking the OBO principle - and also what I wrote here: Why I’m Happy. It has to do with being mindful, being considerate, with the golden rule and with karma. It’s about being a better person, but also about really being PRESENT, “in the moment,” fully aware. It’s about being honest, both with other people, and with myself. It’s about forgiving people, and forgiving myself - not the way we traditionally think of forgiveness, as something one must do when another has committed an egregious wrong - but as an everyday act of love. It’s about treating people well.
It’s also about something I’ve been musing over for the past few weeks. I feel that I’m at a turning point. 2008 was a frantic, frenetic year. It was a year of trying to prove myself, a year of hustling, a year of unbelievable highs and lows. It was a year of posturing, to a certain extent, and also a year of mad, raw ambition. It was a tiring year.
I don’t regret it - I needed 2008. I needed the experience and I needed the life lessons. Absolutely no one could have just explained to me in words what I learned last year - I had to go through it, step by sometimes-cringeworthy step. I’ll tell you, I’m not the same person I was January 2, 2007, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
This year, I need a little more quiet. More introspection. It will be a gradual shift, a natural shift, one that’s been coming for a while. I’ve achieved the goals I set out to achieve when I first came to New York four years ago. It’s time for new goals. I need time to figure out what sort of life I want to lead, and I think right now, I need to slow down. I’ve always been so frightened I’m going to MISS OUT on something somewhere that I have, in fact, missed out on many things - by simply not being fully engaged at that particular moment. In 2009, I resolve to take deep breaths and let it unfold.
You might not notice the difference at first, but by the end of 2009, I promise, what you see here will reflect, once again, a huge transformation.
So … in bullet form:
Let It Unfold.
Stop OBO’ing.
Practice Excessive Gratitude.
Be Present.
Slow down, breathe, stop trying so hard to prove myself.
Spend introspective time determining goals for next portion of my life.
Explore spirituality.
PERSONAL GROWTH
STOP PROCRASTINATING EVERYTHING.
BE ON TIME. (85%, at least. I’m at 15% now, so that leaves plenty of room for improvement.)
Sharply increase reliability & dependability by not just saying yes to everything (Current JA Modus Operandi) and then hoping illogically that extra hours appear in the day, but instead carefully and accurately assessing my obligations BEFORE I commit, and then - after saying yes - FOLLOW THROUGH.
Try one new thing every week (yes, it’s the “let’s go to an Art Museum or a Serious Play” resolution! Nothing wrong with that. Although I’ll go beyond just those, hopefully.)*
Do one adventurous thing that scares the shit out of me every month (cliched examples: bungee jumping, skydiving, giving a keynote, wrestling with tigers**)
Travel somewhere outside the US on a significant cultural trip. Widen my perspective.
Spend some serious time outside of New York City this year.
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS
Create new, really adventurous relationships with people who challenge me to become a better, more intelligent, more interesting person and who are a positive influence on my soul and well-being.
Make a concerted effort to connect to old friends, and spend more quality time having long low key conversations with people who love me, instead of going to stupid events or dinners out.
Date responsibly - no drama. Don’t waste anyone’s time, and don’t let anyone waste mine. I don’t mean that any dating which doesn’t lead to a relationship is a waste (it’s not), I just mean: be considerate and only date those who are also considerate.
Have a caring, respectful relationship with a good man. Love would be nice, too.
Perhaps attempt to have a rousing sex life. Please note: I am in the process of figuring out exactly what I mean by this. Stand by.
HEALTH
Do something healthy every. single. day.*
CUT DOWN DRASTICALLY ON SUGAR. Limit sugar intake to TWO DESSERTS A WEEK.
SLEEP MORE! Shoot for being in bed by 1 am, lights out by 2 am. NO LATER THAN 3 am at least 6 nights a week! ABSOLUTELY NO MORE ALL NIGHTERS.
Start drinking antioxidant tea. Also, buy teapot. (I don’t drink much alcohol or coffee and I never touch soft drinks so I can’t cut down on that.)
Exercise - at that “gym” place down the street (or in the basement of my building) - at least three times a week, every single week.*
Take Lilly dog on walks in Central Park.
Buy a bicycle to ride.
PROFESSIONAL GROWTH
NonSociety Related: Perfect NonSociety 1.5, and launch NonSociety 2.0. Integrate contributors by Quarter 2 or 3 at latest. Raise angel investment money. Get views up to 3 million by April. Really bring A game content. Start NonSociety Book of Whenever the Hell We Want Club.
Write a screenplay.
Raise TMI viewers to 250,000 per episode by March, 500,000 by June, 750,000 by Sept, and a million by December 2009.
Plan a NonSociety Media-Tech conference in Quarter 4.
Meet Tina Brown and become involved in The Daily Beast somehow.
Give some great speeches.
* - this shall be recorded right there in this here blahhg.
** - no tiger wrestling shall occur, unless it’s with Princeton boys wearing tiger tails, and that’s not so much scary as kinky.
And finally, one more resolution, which doesn’t fit under any category:
I want to experience a little bit of magic every day.
That’s not too much to ask, is it? :)
Appreciate the effort 12:41. But cannot read. Zzzzz.
ReplyDeleteMan, that facebook feed of her blog is great! It's about 700-10 trillion billion times easier to read than the actual NS site. I can't believe they went to ~2.0~ or whatever, and never rolled back. It's like they never visit their own site. 1. do they really think people care to click thru to hear "more" of their thoughts? Especially when it's usually just half a sentence more? That's so totally the opposite of how "liefcasting" should be 2. the horizontal scroll is wonked down by 3-4 other vertical scrolls...anytime I've tried to read "more" I can't even figure out how to do it. I don't want it that bad!
ReplyDeleteAnyways the point is, that facebook link is gold (until I eventually hopefully get over this curiousity with Julia/NS).
Speaking about the facebook link. While waiting for her date last night, this person took pictures of (of course) herself showing her outfit and writing this:
ReplyDelete"I’ve been wearing the Tiffany’s heart necklace Dan gave me when we were 18 every day for the past month. I think I may wear it until he kicks this disease once and for all."
Discuss
http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?id=8656939666#/note.php?note_id=53904486818&id=8656939666&index=21
She just HAD to let RBNS readers know that necklace was from Tiffany's, because we commented that it looked cheap. (We also speculated that it was from an old BF.)
ReplyDeleteAfter that public announcement, I predict she stops wearing it in about 3 days. Hope she doesn't have to "lose" it.
ReplyDeleteIf you wanted to publicly support Dan, why was your birthday largesse not bestowed upon the American Cancer Society? Oh, right, you were trying to impress those powerful women speakers you met at Davos.
ReplyDelete@Anon 12:41: This is my favorite part.
ReplyDelete"Raise TMI viewers to 250,000 per episode by March, 500,000 by June, 750,000 by Sept, and a million by December 2009."
GOOD FUCKING LUCK. Is she on drugs? How does she expect to do this? Oprah you ain't girlfriend.