Jack The BullDog Speaks: Julia, The Early Years

The First Encounter, or, Terror in the Public Square

Long before she became known as an abuser of interns, an advocate of censorship, and a mangler of Hobbes, our lady of entitlement was a college student. Or at least posing as one. Though Julia Allison Baugher did everything in her power to make everyone at Georgetown familiar with her name and reprehensible behavior, I still had never heard of the Pink Lady well into my sophomore year. Perhaps because I would never have read drivel like “Sex on the Hilltop” to begin with, or have spent my time skipping classes, lying to professors, and turning in work late. Yes, I actually loved university and was committed to my classes, to building a foundation for the future.

That Edenic fall occurred one fall afternoon when walking across campus with a professor and finding ourselves ensnared in what appeared to be a poorly staged play near the Healy Gates being put on by a group of eighth grade girls who had just received their Thespian Society certificates. We were walking towards the library when a brunette in a short skirt ran near us and screamed to her posse of morons: “Who cares if I’m dating a senator? It’s nobody’s business but ours!” Said brunette, who seemed older than the other students, was comforted by some Mary Rambin-in-training type, yet the creature in the tartan skirt ran from Mary manqué and to a tree, emoting for the ages about just how desperately she wanted no one to know that she was dating a senator.

When the professor and I were able to get on our way, he turned to me rather flustered and said some something like: “What exactly was that?” My response: “I’m not certain. But do you think she’s dating a senator?”

And so it began.

To be continued ...