Sunday, February 15, 2009

Yulia: Def-Con 4 Valentimes Freakout!!!!

I am up early to feed the chickens and discover that our little bunny is freaking the shit out in her teen Barbie dream house:
I have ridiculous Fashion Week insomnia tonight.
I can barely breathe due to nerves. ARGHGHHGHGH. See, I love fashion week - I do. Despite all of my complaining, I love it. But this is what drives me insane - the nerves, the worrying, the planning (If BLANK happens, then I’ll do BLANK. If BLANK happens, then I’ll do BLANK. If this and that happens and I can’t get that interview, then I’ll pretend I speak only Russian and interview the models. What question should I ask this designer? How should I cover that one? I can’t ask them any more recession questions, or they’ll kill me. But I can’t NOT mention it either.

She mentions Russia. My ears prick up. She goes on:
God, that interview I did yesterday SUCKED. Why do I suck so badly? I suck, I suck, I suck, a deranged colorblind inmate could do a better job at Fashion Week than me, etc.) My brain keeps racing and despite all of my yoga breathing techniques, I just cannot make … it … stop.

Oh, the voices in her head. I hear them in my own. Wait, those the baby geese:
You know, I remember watching red carpet interviews and thinking “That’s such a ridiculously stupid question, anchor. Come ON. You can’t think of ANYTHING else?!?” But when you’re pushing and shoving to get that front row celeb or designer, it’s hard not to think - every once in a while - “dear god, that was a STUPID, boring question.” Ugh. And there’s nothing like defaulting to unoriginal blandest common denominator queries - “So! What were your influences for the Fall collection?” (barf!) - to make you feel like a Giant Pile of Suck.
So yes, this is why I sometimes become cranky and nervous about Fashion Week.

It is like Sondheim song, no? From "Company" or one of the other good ones? But I must ask: WHERE DO THESE INTERVIEWS APPEAR? On TV stations? In magazines? On the public access cable? Me never see. EVER. EEEEEEVER. Why you so nervous about tree that does not fall in forest? Relax, Yulia, go to another Barbie fashion show, get your doll and go beddie bye. It be okay. (Oh, and I sure this have NOOOOOOOOOOTHING to do with fact that it is Valentimes and you are home alone. No, no, no.)

25 comments:

  1. SHe knows it's over. MAry is coming on to the stage tomorrow and that's it for JA. She's a basketcase....it's over! ding dong, my love! byeeeeeeeee

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  2. I wrote her to express how annoyed I was that she was complaining about Fashion week. She offered me tickets to a show, which was nice. However, I can't help but to feel like she's backtracking now.

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  3. That is nice of her.

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  4. Lets test JA.. JA there is something real flattering below:

    Юлия Allison является одним розовым игнорирует идиоткой

    I doubt the Pink Peasant can read Russian or even speak it..

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  5. My English translation book offers two variations. I like both:

    Julia Allison is one pink ignore [idiotkoy].

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  6. I should be reading Pale Fire this morning. Instead i read Russian Girl.

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  7. Has anybody been over there to see the site with all those ridiculous google ads all over the place? I usually just come here, but I stopped by when I saw the gawker article. It looks like absolute shit. I'm embarrassed for them.

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  8. BulimicsDoItBetter: Yes, i have seen this. The kicker is that with the new 'redesign' the cite (haha) is totally dysfunctional now. Like whole portions of posts are cut off, and you can't actually scroll anywhere to get at them.

    WTF???

    Jackle's part seems to work now but the others don't.

    Their site is basically totally fucking broken.

    This cannot bode well for the "live coverage" of FW, set to begin today.

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  9. Bulimics: See the post for InsulBoots a few down.

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  10. well, their live coverage is on another site...mogulus, i believe. they're just irrelevant now...their lifestyles and their thoughts. it's over.

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  11. It won't be over until their site is closed and everyone is through talking about them. Doesn't look like its over to me.

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  12. LET'S say its the beginning of the end.

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  13. She sucks because she has no interest in fashion and no real knowledge about it to draw upon. Duh.

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  14. And Mary and Meghan have hung out almost every single day since the JA/MR dress fiasco. I don't think the gals are liking each other very much right now.

    BTW, Yeah, Julia is on a manic down swing right now. Later today she'll profess that LIFE IS GREAT. Just you wait.

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  15. Being famous for nothing ain't all it's cracked up to be, eh? That's a shame.

    The reason she can't think of good questions is that she has no interest in the answers. She just wants to be on the tee vee, and those people she talks to are props.

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  16. As i just said to Jacy, her interviewing skills are poor. How many time does she say "um?" Not only that but she's interviewing the nobodies. The loons who go to fashion week just to dress up and appear like they are part of that little circle. Her access is obviously limited or else she'd be talking to someone important. Not the Liza impersonators.

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  17. Julia mentions about 183 time via twitter that she's sitting front row, but don't you think we'd see a picture of it? Um yeah, Julia... we all know how much access you have at fashion week, and it ain't much.

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  18. Also from the twit's Twitter:
    http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/1211840355

    It's new word is "incorrigible." She's SO SMART and SUCH A RIOT!

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  19. And just like that, she goes from getting a few sympathy votes to inciting derision. She'll never change.

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  20. Methinks all the self-suckitude is a lame attempt at reverse psychology aimed at her commenters.

    Interesting to see if anyone bites and gives her a 'you go, girl!'.

    Why am I fighting the urge to write in a Russian accent?
    Damn you, Russian Girl!

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  21. This is a classic JA move to preempt her critics and, thus, dismiss their opinions before they've even been stated. She doesn't believe she sucked at all, and she thinks all criticism stems from jealousy of her great beauty. For real.

    The only part that matters to her is what she looked like on camera, and she obviously thinks she looked great, or she wouldn't have posted all those dopey photos.

    Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

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  22. I had a nightmare last night about a cuckoo popping from Julia Allison's wonky left eye.

    Thanks, whoever planted that image in my susceptible brain.

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  23. "I remember watching red carpet interviews and thinking 'That’s such a ridiculously stupid question, anchor.'"

    Are red carpet interviewers now referred to as "anchors"? Or is this another of Jankles' delusions of grandeur?

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  24. The only show I can confirm that she sat in front row was Barbie, because I saw her. That is not to say that that was her assigned seat.

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