Monday, January 19, 2009

RB: The Handmaiden of Wretched Rebounds Responds

Poor Meghan. Like we said, we kind of like her. But that doesn't mean we have to agree with her. Here, she responds to the QOD:

I’ll defer to the other two girl’s blogs as being a little more ‘real’ and compelling than my own. I’m obsessed with Mary’s sense of style and Julia’s self-reflective very poignant posts. Truth be told, I have a hard time expressing myself, I like to keep my emotions to myself at times. When comments get to me (like yesterday), I retreat to deal with my feelings versus putting it out there for the world to dissect. As I’ve said before, my blog and the selective coverage of my life is still a work in progress. I’m slowly learning to not let comments ruin my day. But to be honest, some days are better than others.

Even during this weekend’s competition, I was rattled at just how far the lynch mob is willing to go, posting on various sites with personal attacks that seem unwarranted. My mother found her way to one of the heated areas filled with vitriol and promptly responded under a code name. I can’t begin to express how sad I felt knowing that my mother had read such remarks about her daughter. To all of you that get a kick out of posting hatred, next time, please put yourself in my position and think of how you’d feel if your parents read the anonymous slander. Even though it was painful to know that my mother had read that crap, I take this experience in stride and will be stronger because of it. To all those that want to hurt NS with anonymous words, you will NOT shut us down, you will NOT shut me down, you are in fact just making us stronger able to take more hits than a ball in a baseball game (weird analogy, but I’ll just go with it).

We’re not hurting anyone, we’re three women brave enough to put ourselves out there and push the envelope. Like anyone, we make mistakes. We’re not trying to put others down, we’d only like you to be inspired to succeed, to learn from our mistakes by living vicariously through our own experiences. We want nothing but the best for everyone we work with and for you as a reader.
Our (ineffable) Ineffable posted an eloquent response:

Meghan is like the rest of them. Brave? Come on. And no we're not unhappy because we express our opinon online. Most people don't use real names online because of work and other concerns not because we don't stand behind our views and comments.

And if she really wonders why we've posted our view on Nonsociety on other sites it is partly because posting them on NS just gets them deleted and even if it didn't, it gets no response. Since they make it difficult for people to voice their views on their "content" and practices, people will go elsewhere to do it.

Besides, all people wish to be heard, Nonsociety is not unique in wanting their voices out there.
Honestly I am beyond tired of the accusation (often offered online by those who have no other response to criticism but yet are bothered enough by people voicing their views of them that they can't just let it slide either) that posting criticism=being angry, bitter, envious, and having no life.

Intelligent people have opinions and opinionated people like to express their views. All people like to express themselves. Get used to it. Or is Meghan's mother a malicous, bitter hater too for posting anonymously online and presumably attacking others' viewpoints as invalid (my answer: no)?

It reflects neither on a person's happiness nor malicious intentions that they have and share critical commentary. But I guess that is too complex a concept for some to wrap their minds around.



  1. As I've been a regular critic about Meghan, I think this response is just sad.

    First off, using the "what if your mother read this crap" defense. Meghan, if my mother saw that I was putting out such nonsensical tripe with no value culturally or otherwise, I think she would join into the fray tell me to "cut the shit" and do something meaningful with your life. My mother, would not support bullshit. Your mother does. Your daddy definitely does.

    Second, you purport yourself as a "geek" or a "techie", yet you say you're not an expert in technology? Well hell, I've been saying that forever, but now since you're being called out on it, you're saying it to? Well, if that's the case, STOP CALLING YOURSELF A GEEKETTE. A "geek" or "nerd" implies technical knowledge. If you're admitting to no technical knowledge, then stop taking on the persona with the labels you through about.

    Call yourself what you are, a fangirl. I know it has a negative connotation, since fangirls (or fanboys) are people who wish to be "in the know" but aren't.

    I know you can't sell NonSociety with people who aren't in the know, but look around you. Julia cannot keep a relationship with any man, so she's not a person in the know about dating. Mary's sense of fashion is, well abysmal, so she's lacking, and now you! You have no technical knowledge, so....err. Oh damn, nobody in NonSociety is an expert or functional enough to be viable about the topics they represent.

    Shut it down Meghan, go back to school, get a post grad degree so you can maybe have a chance at earning a living in something else besides websites driven by bad personalities.

  2. Aw, thanks for posting my comment. I really can't take the "feel sorry for me my mom read your nasty attacks" alternated with the "you bitter angry losers I hope you find peace I really do" routine.

    I'm sorry to go on a rant about this but I really dislike when people act this way when they've chosen a public life and in fact want to make a l living off it. Even those with personal blogs generally understand and accept the "all can speak their minds" nature of the internet.

    These women need to grow a thicker skin, fast, if they want to stay in this profession. They've dug themselves into a hole because of their fear of criticism.

    They don't have a comment feature no doubt for that reason. They delete comments. They openly and often nastily attack critics. They refer to even legitimate respectful criticism as angry envious attacks.

    They don't seem to ask themselves "why are so many saying the same things about us, why is there what Meghan refers to as a "lynch mob" (ha) attacking us, could there be any truth to what they're saying?" Or, actually, maybe they do ask, but sadly the only answer they can possibly come up with is that ugly angry people do this out of envy and bitterness. (Because that's what their motives are when they criticize, maybe?)

    I criticize their venture because their breaches of ettiquette disturb me and I think they should be addressed and publicly known. I criticize them because I don't like seeing the lack of accountability for their actions and what I consider deceptive and shoddy practices. There are plenty more reasons where those came from, too.

    I have tried to direct my comments at them but those have gone ignored, been deleted, etc. I see nothing wrong or hateful about anything I've written (except a quip I feel a bit bad about, about their costumes in TMI weekly and that was mainly directed at my annoyance with Mary's coopting of the I Have a Dream Speech. Have they even acknowledged it's MLK Day for goodness sakes, aside from that one post about Pcs and Macs?) and all of it I would say to their face with no problem.

    I see them shooting themselves in the foot by alienating readers as they did me. I can't say I was a loyal fan but I read as a fluff break despite finding them far too superficial for my taste. But their business model designed to make money and earn perks by promoting products disguised as reviews, their deceptive practices, their sloppy product which is an insult to the reader, and their attempts to silence all critics, and lack of mature, and on topic response to legitimate criticsm has led me here, which is a site I much more enjoy anyway and one that actually does have a sense of community and intelligent readers and commenters.

    NS itself is not all that important obviously but it is important to speak up when you see something you don't agree with and I see nothing wrong with anyone of any view doing that intelligently and fairly, whether they agree with my views or not. I'm sorry NS doesn't seem to feel the same.

    Enough of my ranting.


  3. Dear NonSociety Girls: Publicity is a double-edged sword. Always has been. Always will be. You "put it out there" and people are free to love, like, ignore, scorn or--yes--even hate it. That is the nature of the beast.

    Now, I don't "hate" what NonSociety does. I actually DO take it as the "light entertainment" Julia Allison is currently insisting it is. I enjoy laughing at the posturing, delusionary thinking, vanity and assorted hypocrisies & inconsistencies NonSociety puts out there on a daily basis. I find this stuff amusing in the same way I used to enjoy reading serial comic strips: in the vein of the wonderful Comics Curmudgeon, I find NS a recurrent laugh at the nonsensical stuff modern culture seems to throw in our paths. It's a wacky ongoing narrative I follow because it amuses me, although not in the way the three of you might wish.

    Does this make me some kind of lynch-mobby "hater"? I don't think so. I just have a weird, perverse sense of humor and an morbid eye for the presentation of self in everyday life. I'm no more a monster than you are.

    "Putting yourself out there" on the internet and expecting everyone to respect and admire what you do is wildly unrealistic. When I wrote mainly for print, few people would bother to take pen to paper--or fingers to typewriter-to write a letter to my employers slagging me. Now, it's an everyday occurrence. Readers criticize me on my blog comments, in comments on my work posted elsewhere online, on twitter and facebook. It's just part of my job as a journalist to roll with it, and to take from it those points that actually can help me improve my work and my thinking. (Yes, that happens, and it's the valuable part of what is sometimes an aggravation or worse.)

    You guys need to think about this. Unfettered admiration and goodwill is just not part of the bargain you make with your internet audience. I don't wish you ill. Indeed, I hope you will be around to furnish me with laughs for some time to come. But enough with the persecution complex. Start making some lemonade.

  4. My mother found her way to one of the heated areas filled with vitriol and promptly responded under a code name

    your mother needs to find a hobby. because i'm guessing "found her way" means, searched during all hours of the night for anyone saying anything not 100% positive of you.

  5. ...and that is the quote of the day:

    "But enough with the persecution complex. Start making some lemonade."

    They certainly have an odd sense of entitlement, thinking that just because they put themselves "out there" people should respect everything they say and do.

    That's ridiculous. I, too, write for print and web and get my share of attacks. That's just the way it is. Now, typically the vitriol is focused on the topic I've presented (with some really whacked exceptions). The fact that these girls made the decision to make their own lives the primary topic, well, that's what folks are going to comment on.

    In short, seems to me like they are naive and just don't want to admit it. So, I'll give them some rules, in the event they check this out:

    - Learn to reply intelligently to criticism. Don't cover it up, that doesn't work.
    - Don't fan the flames, learn how to diffuse conflict.
    - The topic you choose is the topic that will be talked about: Don't want folks talking about your body, teeth, hair and hips? Don't bring them into the conversation. But then, I fear, the trio would have little else to talk about.
    - Add comments to your freaking blog. Making feedback easier and topic relevant will actually diffuse overtly negative feedback.

    And with that, I'm grabbing myself some cake.

  6. Their over inflated sense of entitlement is what annoys me most - it's pervasive in everything they do, from their complete denial of criticism to their grabby product placement shams to their lack of any actual content. Julia Allison, Meghan Asha and Mary Rambin are over privileged naifs who have no idea what being an internet personality means.

    As far as haters and fans, I think it is VERY telling that on Facebook, their Nonsociety fan page and their TMI Weekly fan page only have about 50 fans each. If that few people are willing to publicly associate themselves with you in a positive manner, maybe it's time to reassess your "business" model.

  7. Also, one of them is fat and gaining. I do no need to see this.

  8. For Meghan to call herself brave for Lifecasting (poorly) on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is perhaps the best demonstration of NonSociety's fatal flaw.

  9. "Does this make me some kind of lynch-mobby 'hater'? I don't think so. I just have a weird, perverse sense of humor and an morbid eye for the presentation of self in everyday life. I'm no more a monster than you are."

    This was beautiful. Also, Meghan has always struck me as a dim bulb. She, like the others, has nothing of value to add to the internet besides making herself look like a joke. Keep slinging the shit and it'll keep getting thrown back in their faces. Why don't they get that? Their product is complete and utter bullshit. Good intentions aside, the website is a laugh-factory, and as long as it exists, they should get used to the hatred thrown their way. The only thing I can't believe is that they actually have real fans.

    And I agree with whomever said above that their mother would not tolerate their bullshit. My mother, if I were one of the three NS witches, would tell me to get a fucking real job. Which is what they all should do, and quickly. How much longer can the charade go on?