Saturday, February 28, 2009

UPDATE: Wild Crazy Birthday Party To Celebrate The Wild Crazy Woman Who Celebrates Herself All Day Every Day Anyway!!!!

The cake that tells a thousand stories. This is the photo Jackles posted of her birthday cake on her "lifecast" after "her" party. Why a partial shot of the cake, you might ask?

Because look! Jackles has a sad face because the cake doesn't mention her at all! And it's her birthday!! And it was "her" party! She kept Tweeting about "her" party! NO FAIR!!!!



Now Jackles tries to make herself feel better by posing thousands of times with this guy. He's about to burst out into a rendition of "What a Fool Believes." How appropriate! Some fool believed this party was all about her! But it seems someone forgot to tell the cake people! NO FAIR!


Oh dear.


Pardon our non-San Francisco ignorance, but who's the Michael McDonald lookalike? He's clearly some tech giant since Jackles posed for about 8,000 "paparazzi" photos with the guy. So. Much. Fun!!!

In other photos, this appeared to be a sparsely populated party. A smattering of people dressed casually and looking bored in a half-empty bar.

UPDATE: Michael McDonald appears to simply be a photographer. And that cake photo, it says it all, no? This has been planned for weeks but Randi's friends and family simply forgot to put Jackle's name on the cake too? She basically crashed some other chick's party -- one more popular, more connected and better-liked.

UPDATE 2: Photo captions added.

69 comments:

  1. Bicurious Party HatFebruary 28, 2009 at 7:40 AM

    Jacy, you have a very keen eye for selecting the best-worst photos possible. I celebrate YOU!

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  2. Weird Beard?

    http://twitter.com/wmmarc

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  3. Re: Wm. Marc Salsberry (Julia's bearded prop)

    Remember the time when “tech” people were all pocket-protector-wearing nerds sitting in front of their computer or laptop smiling at the camera. Well those days are all long gone thanks to Wm. Marc. He had a vision, and the vision was to make the tech community look like “rock stars.” All he had to do was send a Tweet asking for social medialites that wanted their pictures taken. One head shot lead to another one until he was taking pictures for Jason Calacanis and Michael Arrington.

    He saw that there was a need for people who could make the top tech community look good. His passion for photography and niche lined up perfectly so that he was able to capitalize on it.


    http://www.junloayza.com/marketing/marc-salsberry-learn-from-his-wisdom-now/

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  4. 7:54 - Jeezuz. Fucking. Christ.

    The end of the world is nigh.

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  5. I just keep thinking that all these people are on morphine pills because when my sister was - she thought that she was the Queen of the World too.

    Dudes, they're all fucked up and crazy.

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  6. He had a vision, and the vision was to make the tech community look like “rock stars.”

    It must suck to wake up every day knowing that you are going to fail.

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  7. whenever i see commenters here criticizing JAB for being overweight i grow annoyed because even though she is hugely disgusting, hugely fat she is not. HOWEVER! that picture of her raising her gams! gah!

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  8. Ok, my last comment - JA is dressed and ready to go - and then posts the lying down, having a rest photo. I'm sure it's going to be fixed later.

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  9. These must be our (RBNS) representatives since they look like they are about to throw down on this shit-fest:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/gillat/3315967910/


    Yes! Melissa Sue gives a tentative confirmation!

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  10. So. Much, fun... Yay for unconventional punctuation !about 6 hours ago from txt

    UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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  11. You're right, Ethel. I'm sure she'll also wedge in a dozen or more backdated photo posts by noon CST.

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  12. "What a Fool Believes" -- I can't stop giggling.

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  13. I now go bye-bye

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  14. If that were me and I had spent months braying about my shared birthday bicoastal party event, and that cake showed up and didn't have my name on it? I'd be humiliated and crushed. This was no boating accident...errr...bicoastal birthday. This was Julia riding Randi's coattails for the photo ops and access to rich dudes (of which there appears to be ZERO.)

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  15. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3601/3316146190_90f6149fb8.jpg?v=0

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  16. I know something about when failed companies need to throw in the towel. You, Julia, are a failed company who needs to throw in the towel.

    Mary/Meghan -- you two are distressed assets who still have some value which may yet be realized in a different endeavor. But every additional day you spend associated with Julia is further amortizing that residual value.

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  17. wow, just.. wow.

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3460/3316145864_e554308e91.jpg?v=0

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  18. Remember folks she grew up listening to gag.... Journey..

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  19. FormerGawkerEmployeeFebruary 28, 2009 at 9:16 AM

    Cakegate is possibly the funniest JA debacle EVER. I have been howling all morning.

    Jesus, woman, have some dignity. Slink off into obscurity for a few months. It's so embarrassing.

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  20. anon 910

    that picture is too good. It sums up the failed attempt at glamour (there's nothing wrong with those two girls in the frame with Julia. Christ, they look like real people. it's just so telling to see ja's dream of hanging with the beautiful people sullied by reals) and her expression. confused, half-crazed, trying to play it off as a joke, but unable to keep from revealing the toll this narcissim is taking. all while texting!
    perfect.
    like a technicolor tombstone!

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  21. The fact that she posted a partial shot of the cake on her blog so that no one would see her name wasn't on it ... my God, what a complete fucking tool. She can't even make a joke about it? Have some fun with it?

    And did anyone notice the expression on Meghan's face in almost every shot taken? "Get me out of here." "When will this end?" "How much longer is this going to continue?" "Someone please shoot me."

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  22. Julia is learning a sad life lesson.

    A very cute, 22-year old narcissist? Men will put up with the crazy and will still chase you. Maybe even offer to marry you. At the very least, will let you stay in their apartment rent-free after you break up.

    A chubby, botoxed, 30 year-old narcissist? Not so much.

    :(

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  23. I think this take down of Julia was planned..:)

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  24. FormerGawkerEmployeeFebruary 28, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    Randi's real friends can't stand her. So you might be right, Anon9:26.

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  25. 1.No party go-ers sow up with right colors
    2. Cake not with Julia's name
    3. No High up Tech people invited showed..Not Kevin Rose, not Michael Arrignton, and etc

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  26. You could not make this shit up if you tried. Anyone who thinks this is all an act ... you are wrong. We are watching someone in full, deranged, delusional, narcissistic headcase mode. Most of her friends now have seen the crazy and are desperately trying to distance themselves. Poor M and M ... trapped in a business with her and delicately trying to extricate themselves. Living differently!

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  27. Those shoes! Who wears shoes like that...it's still winter, even in SF.

    The dress I can put up with, but he shoes make her look ridiculous.

    I wouldn't call her chubby, let's not pick on her weight please...

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  28. 4. Not even Meghan showed up in the "right" colors. In fact, she looked like she threw on something comfortable and was planning her exit from the moment she got there.

    4a. So far, Meghan hasn't posted a word about the party on her "lifecast." Not before, not after (so far).

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  29. She might not be officially chubby, Anon, but she is putting on substantial weight. That makes her normal-sized compared to how tiny she was, but the woman has put on noticeable pounds.

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  30. Julia just posted that she's on way to airport to board flight to NYC.

    Not flight actually. She says she's going to check in for her "Virgin America flight".
    I love that. free endorsement (virgin is not giving her free flights, right? right?). Or: she's become so used to shilling and dropping in product placement that it's become reflex.

    I'm totally gonna start doing that, too. Right after I have another cup of Maxwell House's Master Blend from Gneral Mills coffee and finish watching Sportscenter on my RCA Ultravision stero television set from Best Buy.

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  31. Now can you imagine what the NYC party will be like with that full smack down in Jules head? :)

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  32. I hope someone has packed the Kleenex brand tissue because I'm predicting a teary breakdown for JA sometime in the next 12 hours - poor dear.

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  33. Bunny: I think you're right. I hope her Great Lash mascara doesn't run and create a sooty stream down to her Victoria's Secret miracle bra.

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  34. I don't think there's enough Duncan Hines brand One-Step Real Chocolate brand cake frosting to wash away this coming sadness...

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  35. Up until this very minute, I was still thinking "maybe she's in on the joke." I'm now firmly on the "she's mentally ill" side.

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  36. Well, I think this post would be a fitting end to RBNS. It's truly over.

    Up until now it has been an entertaining, if mismatched, battle. Despite all her faults, there was always the possibility Julia was going to somehow pull this off. That's what made it interesting.

    This fiasco has pushed it over the edge into 'making fun of retards' terrain. Julia only knows how to play one character - the self-obsessed ingenue - and age has finally caught up with her.

    Anyway, thanks to RBNS for the effort and the laughs. But I'm actually at the point of feeling sorry for her even though she brought it on herself.

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  37. My new morning tradition. Coffee, egg whites and RBNS.

    Seriously, this is some of the wittiest commentary anywhere. Keep it up!

    That party was for Randi and Randi only. The reason Megan looks uncomfortable is because she knows she's a by association party crasher. The cake is priceless and maybe even intentionally decorated to shame Julia.

    That dress does nothing for Julia. Her face has become too full for her to be able to pull off the poofy skirts. Her legs are too short and noticeably chunkier. Fail.

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  38. FormerGawkerEmployeeFebruary 28, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    Anon, I hope if she is mentally ill she gets herself hooked up with some Paxil from Pfizer, America's Number One pharmaceutical giant and has the prescription filled at Walgreens, everyone's favorite neighborhood drugstore!

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  39. Best photo EVER:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/gillat/3316146190/

    The rest of them are pretty fantastic, too.

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  40. anon 1006
    i hear you.
    i for one have just never been able to turn off the movie or close the book before the final scene. even after the conclusion is no longer in doubt. maybe i'm a masochist...

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  41. these branding comments made me laugh so hard i almost wet my loose fit pre-washed denim jeans available from H&M!

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  42. Oh, sorry, that one was linked to above. The entire set from gillat is so ripe for ridicule. And Julia didn't even get to wear the PINK dress!! Randi totally burned her. Plus, Julia's not fat, but that dress it two sizes too small.

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  43. FormerGawkerEmployeeFebruary 28, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    Anon10:14: I too have been in near tears of laughter as I sit in my Old Navy flannel pajama bottoms with my New York Yankees polo-shirt on while enjoying a bowl of Blueberry Frosted Mini-wheats.

    I hope Jackles Tweets from mid-air about the delicious mini-bag of Hanover pretzels she's enjoying.

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  44. well of course FGE she could tweet if she wanted. after all, verizon is the number one wireless provider in the country, with the lowest rates and the fewest dropped calls! From coast to coast!

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  45. I'm in pain looking at that dress. It's too tight through the waist and the top. She's spilling out of it. How are all those work outs and trampoline classes working out, Julia? Not going anymore? Oh. Maybe you can find a store that rents dresses to girls like us now?

    Welcome to the club. I saved you a seat.

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  46. This morning's post have been fun, but the doorbell's ringing and I have to go. I have a Department of Environmental Protection-sponsored water meter reading. I'm confident it will go well as I have a CL-W0138 Thermaltake Flow TX Plus sensor, which has always given accurate readings with respect to my water usage. And a special shout out to my AWG-brand 4-twisted pair 18 gauge wire. It does a pimp job connecting my meter to the sensor!

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  47. Randi Z looked stunning. I thought she looked all kinds of ridic in that 80s moment lipdub and felt sorry for her. She outshined that silly birthday dress.

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  48. Anon10:32: Solid gold!

    Almost as solid gold, in fact, as the Birks pendant I am wearing around my neck, the neck I just moments ago slathered in Trader Joe's A MidSummer Night's Cream moisturizer, which keeps my skin so soft and supple. Thanks, Trader Joe's! You. Are. Awesome.

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  49. I don't want to miss any branding comments. But geez, I really have to go poop, which is being brought to me today by Pizza Hut's Thick Pan Monster Pepperoni $10.99 pie and Budweiser, the King of... wait, what? Am I doing it wrong.

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  50. I want video.

    I can just hear the part where they say "Happy Birthday Dear Randi" I can hear the braying "AND. JULIAAAA!!!!" straight from her mouth.

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  51. My Sony Vaio laptop is hot this morning!

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  52. try pouring a little Fuji Bottled water on it...

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  53. OK. And I will use Bounty -- the quicker picker upper -- papertowels afterwards!

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  54. The dress is just bad. Its not even bad in an ironic, trashy way, its just tacky. Julia lives in one of the hippest cities on earth, where people look like this: http://tiny.cc/Y3yU6, and she chooses to look like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gillat/3316019876/

    Doesn't she get it at all? She creates a website that's too dumb even for teenagers; a personal "brand" that is offensive, cheesy, dated and cliche, she lives in an amazing city with access to great culture, innovation, talent, interesting people, and yet she ignores it all to dress up in a stereotypical midwestern fantasy of girliness.

    Gah! I could type forever on my logitech keyboard about how much this woman annoys me while I drink my Tim Hortons coffee but I have to launder my clothes with Fab ultra.

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  55. For drying tears after a mental breakdown, I always use my Shamwow. Great for drying your dog too if you forget about her and left her out in the rain!

    Your friend is simultaneously having a breakdown? Cut that Shamwow in half! BAM!! Two Shamwows.

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  56. Best part has to be that Jules LICKED the cake!! You can see it on her tongue and the dent in the icing in some of the pictures.

    Most notably here:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/gillat/3316021258/
    And here:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/gillat/3316144872/

    She saw her name wasn't there when it was presented and in a desperate attempt to sabotage Randi spread her delusional germs onto a cake that hadn't even been cut, let alone served to the maybe 15 guests. Pathetic to say the least. A round-of-applause and major kudos to those who wore whatever damn color they wanted to an absurdly themed party, you know that got on JAB's nerves too.

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  57. Side note to my above post.

    Note this tweet in reference to the color themed debacle :

    "Naptime before tonight's R & J BICOASTAL BIRTHDAY BASH at Rosewood - 8 pm. WEAR PINK OR BLUE or forever suffer the consequences. about 20 hours ago from web"-- http://twitter.com/juliaallison

    Those people are in trouble! Hope none of them have a tumblr they'd like to keep.

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  58. http://www.flickr.com/photos/gillat/3316144872/

    there's your "AND JULIAAAA" moment

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  59. Ok. I am in tears from laughing so hard. Too bad i only have the Personelle brand facial tissues without moisturizer at hand. My MacBook is happy i did not spill any of the Illy coffee i am currently enjoying on to the keyboard today. I did however drop some Amy's Black Bean Burrito w/ Herdez taco sauce and one single tasty NaturOeuf onto the floor from the side splitting laughter. Dammit those Quebecois know how to cultivate good eggs! Come to Quebec sometime, it's awesome here! Perhaps for the Juste Pour Rire festival this summer...

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  60. What irks me is that she's not even really that much overweight and could whip herself back into shape pretty easily, but insists on dressing like she's smaller than she is instead. If she doesn't get a handle on it now, she's going to be in for an uphill battle in the next couple years.

    It's just disturbing to see someone so desperate to be a famous sexpot that she'll ignore warning signs from her own body and won't take the time/make the effort to get healthy.

    She'd rather squeeze herself into ill fitting clothes than exercise and eat right. She shoots her face full of poison and she's only 26. She cakes on make up to the point where her skin is so imbalanced that it oozes oil. The girl is a train wreck, but refuses to put her own health first. That's some scary shit.

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  61. PoorWittleBunny: The terror on Randi's face in the first cake licking photo really speaks volumes. Jackles is tacky little pig. The end.

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  62. ^^^^^
    I was JUST going to post that, Poor Wittle Bunny.

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  63. Christian, she's 28.

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  64. I always pick my bent knee up when posing for pictures... it makes me feel like a rockette. I must go now and shower with dove nutrium soap. Toodles bitches!

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  65. Comment brought to you by Comcast High-Speed InternetFebruary 28, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    My favorite part of cakegate is that Foolia blew out the candles before Randi could get a chance. Look at how close her face is to the cake, she's SO trying to get spittle on it:

    http://tiny.cc/4oVeE

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  66. Christan:

    Have you seen pictures of her mom? She's going that route.

    I almost pity her because this is pathetic.

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  67. Her Mom looks like a typical Midwestern Mom in her fifties. What's going on with Julia's body is a direct result of basic abuse and laziness. I just looked at the photo of her in that flamingo pose. Yikes.

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  68. if you look at the whole flickr set, it's quite obvious that michael mcphotog has a girlfriend. jules is at it again!

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  69. aww her mom looks sweet and mom-ish, so lay off. JA's fair game, but come on

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