Saturday, February 21, 2009

She sit in a dark room all day and loses the mind

Okay, so poofy went to this thingie that is very much like the time they did all of the Chekhov works over a two-week period and we weep. Only, she get comped into movie theater and see many filmics that she should have already see and then stuff fat-laden popcorn down her gullet.

This is what her sausage fingers type:

Just finished MILK - excuse the cliché, but there wasn't a dry eye in the entire theatre. Wow.
about 10 hours ago from txt

Okay, not bad start.

Whoa. 15 minutes into The Reader and I've already seen Kate Winslet's (admittedly impressive) ass and breasts. Well then!
about 9 hours ago from txt

Here she go.

Who wants to join me for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at 3:45? Or Slumdog Millionaire at 7:15? Free passes AND popcorn!
about 8 hours ago from txt

She get desperate.

"It's never too late to be who you want to be." - Benjamin Button
about 5 hours ago from txt

She get quotey like she do.

Final movie in AMC's BEST PICTURE SHOWCASE: Frost/Nixson (sitting next to @jesscoen)
about 1 hour ago from txt

She find friend and happiness and success and drop the name. THIS SHIT JUST WRITE SELF!!!

I go put pistol to temple now like the Chekhov person. Bye bye.

8 comments:

  1. JAB's "news flashes" are always 6 months behind everyone else so blogging about movies from 2008 doesn't surprise me at all.
    Wouldn't it be sane to assume her readership has already seen at least some of the movies she's slathering over?

    Another thing - people who text in movies are as heinous as people who talk. The little screen puts out a lot of light in a dark room and the rapid micro-movements are distracting as hell.
    And if she's running out to the lobby to text, equally annoying.

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  2. meh, JA's reviews of ANYTHING always suck. Examples: Palin debate, anything fashion related, the last round of "art reviews". She either echoes what she thinks she should be saying or, in the absence of information (Palin), we get to see her real level of intelligence.

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  3. I walk into the theater. See signs that say "Reserved for Julia Allison" etc. etc. on about 8 chairs. Barf in the corner.

    MILK starts. No sign of J & co. They are late. Shock! Turn around at about 1/2 an hour in and they are there. Movie ends. They rush out before the crowd. I get up to pee. Mary walks right by me. The meanest, maddest "bitch, don't think about looking at me" face you can imagine. Later I pass Meghan. She is sickly more skinny in person. And pointy. Her face is very very pointy. I will refer to her as Pointy from now on. Saw Julia... with her parents by the concession area. Not sure if they saw the movie too or if they stopped by to say "hi" for 15 minutes to their daughter, who is also their host, who is too busy life casting to spend time with them. Note though, at no time did Mary, Meghan, or Julia ever speak or talk to each other. They kept their distance.

    Movie #2 (The Reader) starts. Pointy and Bitch Face are no where to be seen. Bunny sits by herself. Actually, no. Some other random people have now torn the "Reserved for..." signs down and are in her aisle.

    The rest of the screenings were the same. Bunny alone. With her iphone.

    To her credit, she did sit through all 5 movies. But so did everyone else in that theater, so overall, not that big of an accomplishment.

    I'm sure the post where she declares she is going to die her hair red like Cate's in BB is just around the corner...

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  4. Sona; Jane [A] 1st Dan Loeb; Auntie EmFebruary 22, 2009 at 1:19 AM

    Anon: 1:08

    I love you.

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  5. Anony 1:08

    Actual eyewitness reporting and analysis! So that's what it's like.

    Sorta great that you got to see all 5 Oscar contenders and the Nonsociety drama in the same sitting. Talk about a two-fer.

    Thanks so very much for sharing.

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  6. Anon 1:08, I salute you. That was so vividly descriptive, that I feel like I was there. What a tragically sad bunny. I'm sure her double-bubble birthday bash will turn that frown upside-down.

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  7. I know this is off thread, but I heard a rumour that JA's time is rather short at TONY. As in April is when they are cutting the cord. Anyone else here this in the NYC media area?

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  8. So Julia's life has been TRANSFORMED (at least temporarily) by seeing some movies??? Wow, this girl is dumber than I thought. She's also trotting out Dan's cancer again. Disgusting.

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