Friday, February 13, 2009

In Her Own Words: Julia Is SUCH A Nice Person

Given Mary has now apologized publicly about a half-dozen times to Jackles for the horrific crime of styling her "bunny" in a dress that was not June Cleaver enough, and Jackles is apparently holed up in her apartment passive-aggressively bitching about how she HATES the very event Mary is all excited about -- Fashion Week -- RBNS thought the time was ripe for us to revisit some of Julia's postings about just what an amazing person and friend she is.

Because, truly, what greater evidence can there be of a genuinely great person and loyal friend than someone who:

a. Takes to her blog to call her BFF ("OMG!!! WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH THAT WE'RE JUST LIKE SISTERS!!!!") a "bitch" for refusing to provide a dementedly long New Year's Resolution list that would have made Rambo look every bit as insane as Jackles herself.

b. Tells her "sister," publicly and apparently privately as well, that her hairstyle is ugly and unattractive to men.

c. Takes to her blog to publicly humiliate her beloved "bunny" by assailing her styling choices for their latest TMI taping, including a cute Vivienne Westwood dress that failed to make Jackles look like she'd raided Donna Reed's closet in the 1950s.

d. Apparently ignores, or certainly does not respond publicly, to frequent apologies from Rambo for failing to outfit JA in something that wasn't pink-hued, didn't add a cup size to the tits, accentuate the waist and cover up the bottom half which basically describes every tiresome outfit JA ever puts on.

She's a REALLY NICE person, y'all. She's NOT faking it! That's what it says in her blog intro!

And more:

Jan. 2: "Yes, people who have never met me feel obligated to write nasty things about my personality, appearance, and life choices - but this, in its odd, painful way, has been one of the best lessons I could have ever learned: judge not, lest ye be judged. It has made me into a kinder, more considerate, far, far less judgmental person. And now, as 2009 dawns, I’m seeing something else happening - I’m developing a core of - not apathy, because I’m the antithesis of apathetic - but calm. Compassion. Peace. Maybe even zen? For the first time in my life, I’m beginning to understand how to let go of other people’s opinions."

You see, people? That's WHY she threw a friend under the bus over an article of clothing! Also, see below: she was simply treating Mary in the way in which she herself would like to be treated! Don't you haters GET IT??
Jan. 17: "More importantly, the tenets underlying my daily interactions with other human beings have started to take on a spiritual significance. The lessons aren’t complicated - in fact, they’re all cliches. And none of them even have the word “God” in them. But they mean something to me now, more so than they ever did when I was an avowed atheist. Strange, right? I can’t really explain why, but they do. 1. Treat others as you would wish to be treated. 2. Be kind. 3. Judge not, lest ye be judged. 4. Turn the other cheek.
And then there's this, from just two weeks ago:

Feb. 5, TMI Weekly "Mean Girls" episode: "I don't hate on other women. I just don't. It's not my style."

And let's go back a year, when she was still trying to convince her readers that she was a truly wonderful human being. This was written after she publicly revealed her ex-boyfriend's mental health issues on Gawker, by the way, and just ONE DAY before she demanded he buy her a Mac Air Book because he'd promised her one while they were going out. (His response was classic: "I took `[redacted] is bi-polar' to mean `all obligations are off.'" She basically told him to grow up in response. Um?)

March 4, 2008: "People will ALWAYS have differing opinions on what you should do with your life, with your money, with your time, with your spirit. But ultimately, as long as you treat people well, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

There you have it, RBNS readers. Jackles is, in fact, a really lovely person who always treats people with the utmost kindness and respect. Until, that is, they try to make her wear a dress that doesn't make her tits look awesome and doesn't accentuate her waist! If that happens, SHE WILL SHANK A BITCH, do you under-fucking-stand????!!!??

54 comments:

  1. Nothing could make those tits look awesome

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  2. "Mirror"

    I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
    What ever you see I swallow immediately
    Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
    I am not cruel, only truthful--
    The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
    Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
    It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
    I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
    Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
    Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
    Searching my reaches for what she really is.
    Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
    I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
    She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
    I am important to her. She comes and goes.
    Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
    In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
    Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

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  3. can someone please address how BAD today's QOTD is?

    "What is feminism to you in 2009 and are you comfortable identifying yourself as one?"

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  4. hmm the is a real bad poor in taste pun in that QTOD

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  5. I be a feminism. What you be? Derpa-derpa-derp.

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  6. Nicely done, Jacy. You're a busy little bunny these days. Reward yourself with a big ol' carrot cupcake. (Just one!!!)

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  7. This is hilarious.

    Jackles will cut a bitch if she cuts in line, to be sure.

    What a NICE PERSON!

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  8. wait - did i miss something? when did julia say mary's hair looked ugly?

    i think this whole thing is being blown out of proportion, but hey, that's what the internet is for, right?

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  9. So, is there anyone out there who still objects to calling her the name she flings at others: "little c--t"?

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  10. She's like Martha Stewart without the grace or talent...so basically Rosie O'Donnell.

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  11. i cant stand how cheap she is. everything has got to be free for her.

    she'll pay the price soon enough

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  12. 4. Turn the other cheek.

    As long as it's her right cheek, she's good to go.

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  13. So, here is an idea. [Came to me while I was drying my hair with the hair dryer that I bought]

    I am going to start 'living differently' just like the girls. I will start with contacting the companies that the girls have gotten free stuff from to see if I too can drop Julia's or Mary's name to get stuff that they recommend.

    Dear Matrix
    Mary Rambin blogged that if you need product to fix your hair, Matrix will just send it to you. I would like some of the products that were sent to her and I will blog about how great they are!

    Thanks so much for helping me to live differently!

    I promise, I will tell everyone about how great you are.

    Dear Hair dryer people:
    Mary really inspired me to reach out to you and ask for some free hair dryers..please send me some and I will give them out to my friends with the explicit instructions to blog about which ones they liked best.

    Dear People that let people borrow clothes.
    I have a friend who is just gorgeous. If you send me high end dresses [size 6 please] I will photograph her and send the pics to non-society and I am sure they will post them [cause they are all about inspiring people to live differently] and if my friend does not like a particular dress, I promise I will keep her from saying bad things about it rather than fighting with her about it on the internet.

    thank you,
    non-society wannabe

    Dear billionaires with airplanes:
    Hi, I need to fly across the country next month, JA says that you will be willing to do this [but she advised against me taking pictures and confessing to having a crush on you] I will bring a friend that is very pretty and pretty loose with the morals if you know what I mean.

    So, if the 450 people who comment here all sent e-mails to even one of their 'sponsors' not saying we won't buy their stuff but that rather we have been led to believe that this stuff is free--hmmm--that could be funny.

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  14. "Pretty loose with the morals if you know what I mean."

    HILARIOUS.

    OK, who's going to organize this?

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  15. Fantastic piece, Jacy.

    Allison: If you watched Mary's head to toe re: the dress the launched 1,000 tears, you'll hear Mary say that she doesn't care what JA thinks about her hair, she likes it! We were right all along, JA was less than nice to Mary about her hair. Also, JA posted that twit convo, the infamous "dyke" comment was made, and JA told Mary that men would hate her hair.

    We all disagree, I think. I like her hair a lot.

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  16. Sorry Total Jing

    I agree with most that you say-- but I think Mary's hair is not so good. Especially since the bob had dramatically fixed the non-hair do/extensions that she was sporting before.

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  17. Haha. Just because we like her hair doesn't mean men will. They are simple creatures. They want something to pull. I think it's heinous.

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  18. To be clear, the hair, not the hair pulling is heinous.

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  19. I prefered Mary's longer bob, it gave her a sleek sophisticated look, but the new do is cute.
    Now, if she continues on her baby steps path of being a bit more of a trend-setter instead of a label-whore trend follower (and she's getting there) ... I might actually like this girl in her own right.
    'Cause face it, just about anyone is going to look good next to Boo Jankles, that's not much of an accomplishment.

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  20. you know Bo Jangles and Jankles rhyme

    who wants to do the song parody?

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  21. There was a Pr Gril, Jankles
    and she would dance the Pr soft shoe for you
    in worn out lies

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  22. new JA excuse train is leaving the station..

    JA new excuse sleep apnena

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  23. With fake-ass hair, tits hanging out, and plumped up lips,
    Like a common 'ho.
    She jumped so high, jumped so high, then she quickly crashed down.
    Missy Boo Hoo Jakles, Missy Boo Hoo Jakles,
    why?
    I met her in a Weight-Watchers group,
    She was so down and out.
    She looked at me to be the eyes of age,
    As she spoke right out.
    I'm only 28, only 28; why are people so mean? She cried some tears then snapped her headband on; and all was clear.
    Missy Boo Hoo Jakles, Missy Boo Hoo Jakles
    Why?

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  24. OT: Meghan.
    Am I missing something here? From her blog:
    "The <3 necklace from Sweet Tooth Designs is something I’d actually wear. So often geek jewelry is too bold and obnoxious. This little necklace is understated, classy, and expressed that three letter word in only two keystrokes. Me likey!"
    What three-three letter word? Heart? Love?

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  25. And woohoo! That's a fine example of the wonder of geek speak right there people! The ability to express a three-letter word in only TWO keystrokes! Progress, y'all.

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  26. Re: Sleep Apnea.
    I think you actually have to go to bed and be sleeping for that to affect you, Jackles. Not up all night eating cupcakes and Googling yourself.

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  27. Does sleep apnea also make someone a total fraudulent hag? Just wondering.

    She also just Tweeted that she is "increasingly unflappable." I'm guessing that's a raised middle finger to Rambo and Megs.

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  28. the geek is not enoughFebruary 13, 2009 at 12:14 PM

    "Geek jewelry"? Is she just applying "geek" to everything now?

    Look at my geek cereal! I'm wearing some geek eyeshadow! This geek sofa is awesome! Geek geek geek. Geek geek geek. I'm smart because I use the word geek.

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  29. And the charity event? Mary/Meghan went. News flash: Julia skipped it.

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  30. Anon: You know why she skipped it? Because she's INCREASINGLY UNFLAPPABLE!

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  31. Anon 12:03

    Meghan is a harmless individual with zero grasp of reality. I think she really believes that her blogging is full of information. She reminds me of the penguin in Happy Feet who is talking rationally to his captors at the zoo, but from the other side of the glass comes across as a jabbering nonsensical wacko.

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  32. @Wbe20Morons: I can see that. I used to gripe about her (and probably will again!), but it feels like kicking a really dumb puppy. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure she's book smart, but I don't think she interacts with normal people very often. She probably truly thinks things like the Roomba are brand-new, revolutionary pieces of technology just because she hasn't seen them before.

    Anyone else think her family will stage an intervention next time she goes home to SF?

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  33. I always wonder about Rambo's mother. She seems like a sweet, down to earth woman who really loves and adores her daughter. Surely she must be worried about JA's increasingly shoddy treatment of her only kid. I'd like to see Fendi take on JA just like Jakob Lodwick's mother did.

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  34. I prefered Mary's longer bob too. I think that I said that, right? My BF is always trying to get me to cut my hair short. I don't think men only like long hair. SHEESH. I thought we were beyond this BS. Come on ladies!

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  35. Jacy, I'd love to see mama Rambin take on JA. I'm pretty much convinced she doesn't like her. That's sort of been obvious if you read between the lines.

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  36. Jackob's mother took on JA? I missed that.

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  37. Oh, yeah. In a tumblr post, no less! It was fantastic.

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  38. Men preferring long hair is bullshit. I never got hit on more in my life than when I had a little pixie cut but still wore the June Cleaver styles -- it's a winning combination that men go nuts for. Jackles should talk. Like her 1980s era Miss America style is really snagging lots of men.

    Ladies, I am swamped today so someone be a dear and see if they can find that awesome Tumblr when Mama Lodwick went after JA.

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  39. Do you mean this one?
    http://mynylife.tumblr.com/post/24893592/an-idea

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  40. I think Mrs. Jakob quit blogging at the same time the Jakob did. She was great. I wish she still posted stuff.

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  41. duh...she still blogs.

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  42. Wow! I'd never read Mrs. Lodwick's post about Julia before. She made her case with both eloquence and restraint, two qualities not possessed by the braying donkey. Color me impressed.
    --Jean Brodie

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  43. But come on, guys. She is so nice! REALLY!! If you met her in person, you would KNOW....

    (yeah fucking right- because in person she is so great- until she knifes you in the back, like she did to Rachael Sklar)

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  44. so funny how Julia plagiarized Lodwick's mom. of course she did.

    i am beginning to think she does not have any original thoughts, she just rips them all off.

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  45. I forgot about this http://www.timeout.com/newyork/articles/sex-dating/69514/i-got-dumped-on-xmas

    What a tool she is. Actually Jackles, you life has become a punch line.

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  46. Yeah, the first thing that truly resonated with me upon entering the trainwreck tunnel that is Julia Allison, was reading her blog post [since taken down of course] that it was bullshit that jakob's mom was blogging at 50--[I am 50] then she gave some lame advice to 50 year olds as to what they should be spending time on and more or less how they should leave the internet to the young ones.

    Yeah, I [again, being 50 and all] know that she will rue the day her platitudes come home to roost.

    jane

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  47. Jakob's mom caught the "blogs are for the young" post and called dear Jules out on that as well: http://mynylife.tumblr.com/post/26689111/damn-too-old-to-blog

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  48. "I don’t know. I’m sure I’m being far too judgmental here"

    No JA, you're being an immature asshole as usual.

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  49. keep in mind this is just what we see first hand and on record, imagine what she does behind the scenes to people!

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  50. I find Jakob's Mom's blog much more interesting and intelligent then Julia's. How could that be, considering that she is over 50?

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  51. Her columns are so dull. Nothing witty, nothing interesting... she writes how I write in my LJ. I would never in a million years turn those entries into columns.

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  52. Oh God Lord. I've seen other people write this before on Gawker and here but Julia is NOT A NICE PERSON. I work in the media and I have actually met Julia multiple times at various events and parties. She is incredibly rude to anyone whose name she doesn't instantly recognize, wait staff, assistants of the VIPs whose asses she is kissing and interns. She is beyond rude.

    Most of the people who have met her realize that her fawning is fake and those who do fall for her ass kissery (Emily Gould, Nick Douglas, Rachel Sklar, Caroline McCarthy) are pretty dim and equally despised by other media types (despite what they may think or Tweet about) for their media-whorey ways. She is actually kind of a sad sight to see at a party: she just wanders around looking for someone to launch into for a few seconds and it is obvious that this is her idea of "friendship" and "having a social life." These people aren't her friends! They are networking! This is exactly why she was left with no one to hang out with on NYE. She is a dumb, rude bitch (and I rarely call someone that) who can't realize that media events are not real life and they don't mean real friendships.

    God, I could go more in-depth in my Julia one-on-one stories and how she treated me and people who worked for/with me but it would give me away.

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  53. Oh God....

    Please do!!!

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  54. Anon 8:05: Will you please email us at nonsociety.rb@gmail.com?

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