Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mary: The Dress That Launched a Thousand Jackle Tears

UPDATE FROM RBNS: Tonight, she posted this video and commentary:

Julia Hated This Dress Head To Toe from Mary Rambin on Vimeo.

“If by different you mean hideous.” — Julia Allison on this dress.

After searching through my limited traveler’s wardrobe tonight, I couldn’t find a thing to wear (go figure). So…I went over to the Vivienne Westwood clothes I pulled for TMI and grabbed the only thing that remotely said winter - the dress Julia HATED! And hated me for choosing for her to wear.

Well, I made it work with my go-to accessories. Watch the video. Not my favorite dress, but it saved my night. This iteration isn’t more Julia either. Admittedly, a bad call for Jules on my part, but like I said, I can’t be right all the time. Let’s throw in one more cliche. Hindsight is 20/20.

Look what Mary's wearing!

And here's what she wrote:

"Recognize this dress? Full head to toe coming tomorrow."


  1. That's pretty awesome.

  2. She is as dumb as a rock, but I now have a new found respect for DUM DUM Rambin

  3. Mary wore it better. And yeah, outright warfare commences from this point.

  4. Isn't Jackles supposed to be at that fete tonight as well? Or did she decide to stay home so she could catch up on her all-important blogging duties, you know, like posting an old picture of her wearing a tiara and getting gushy over yet another stupid movie with a fictionalized character she can co-opt.

  5. Anon 8:55: And she's so clearly setting the stage to bail in Fashion Week, right? I can't figure out if its her usual laziness or connected to the feud with Mary, whom she fears will outshine her. Mary is dumb, but she has some energy, for God's sake, and seems to work a lot harder than Jackles.

    Despite her shrieks of "OMG!!! I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY!!!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!! OMG!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY!!!", Jackles strikes me as someone who has fallen into a depression. Repeated rejection by the type of men she wrongly assumed she could still attract, lack of work ethic, weight gain, laziness, etc etc ...

  6. To bail ON Fashion Week, I meant.

  7. So wait a minute, Ja and Mr wear the same size dress?

    Also, another look, and I truly get why Baugher named Mary the handmaiden of passive aggressiveness. she brought a PINK dress to TMI and wouldn't let JA wear it--har!


  8. No, Mary is half JA's size. She bunched it and belted it and wore it with leggings, it looks like.

  9. Mary is quite cute IMHO, but I hate to see the non-botoxed muscles on her face straining so hard against the frozen parts ... ya, i guess it prevents the formation of deep crows feet and elevens in the centre of your eyebrows (but so will staying out of the sun sweety) yet you end up getting weird-ass wrinkles elsewhere on your face (similar to lipo where fat accumulates in other strange pockets that it might not have normally done)

  10. And she's so clearly setting the stage to bail in Fashion Week, right?

    Or is she just coming up with some pre-emptive strike because TONY cut back on how much access she'll have at the show?

    Re: The Dress. I don't like it on her. It's hanging and too loose.

  11. Strategic brilliant, Mary.

  12. Well, look at it this way. Mary has really come into her own lately so it's not a big surprise that Julia is now "ho hum" about tedious old fashion week. It's something Mary could get really excited about and finesse while having fun doing it. Way to rain on sista's parade, Miss Baugher.

  13. And if JA is in fact depressed, I truly wish she'd get herself to a nunnery or something, step off the stage, and cheer the hell up already, in peace. She has so many advantages.
    The manic "I'm so happy" is just as empty as the calories in her beloved cupcakes (but, there is something to be said for slapping a smile on your face and getting on with things, it does work). But real solid contentment, something she can grow on, would take a great deal of humility at this point and I don't see a speck of it.
    I've never wished the girl an iota of harm or any failure. But I do wish she'd shut the eff up for two seconds and get real. Try on some authenticity why dontcha? Even if it means your life won't be a never-ending episode of whatever schlock show of the moment has the prettiest dresses and richest men.

  14. Woops, strategic brilliance, sorry. Really, Mary is starting to be quite appealing as much as any of the NS girls can be appealing. She also made quite a cracking joke on Feb 12th: "Most people read, but I’m blonde, so you know, we don’t know how."

    Plus Julia is so terribly jaded by attending Fashion Week - hello, there are young fashion students out there who would die for that opportunity! Not to mention the designers who probably won't be thrilled to read about how ungrateful she is to be invited;
    "Fashion Week is for young people with a lot of energy. This will be my fourth time covering it, but it feels like my 374th time. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. I will be honest, brutally, painfully honest: I do not want to go to there. (Anyone watch 30 Rock?)"

    Um, so don't go?

  15. Ohfercrissake! What the hell is so tiring about sitting on her ass and writing a few lines of snark? It's not like she has to dress the models, stage the show, or even walk down the runways.

  16. It's become clear to me that Mary has no idea what she's doing in any of this. The up side to that is she takes direction pretty well (like disclosing that she asks PR companies for products because she doesn't know how to do her hair -- sigh). It really would have been nice if these girls had at least taken a workshop or something before starting this venture.

    And I can tell you from seeing her that Mary is scary skinny. I don't know what size Julia is, but she can't be anywhere near Mary's. Prediction: the glasses (that Julia picked) become the new focal point of this dress debate. IE: "Maybe it would have looked better if I hadn't worn the glasses -- but they were soooo cute at the time!"

  17. I think we should start up a caption contest and try to imagine what Mary's thinking in this photo, which is really quite awesome the more I look at it.

    Here's my suggestion:

    "Hey ThunderThighs? SUCK ON THIS!"

  18. "Jackal" tears : )

  19. You see, JA doesn't want to go to fashion week because it's her way of lashing out a Mary. It's passive aggressive, which is more JA's MO than it is Mary's in my humble opinion. JA's anti fashion week screed is just an "I hate Mary and don't want to support her interest."

  20. I like the potato sack that the one with the haystack for hair wears. She grows on me bit by bit. Unlike the one who is bowlegged like my cousin Olav's goat (and also wears the feed bag).

  21. I'm on Facebook and did a Nonsociety search.

    The Group link brought up this message:

    Group Unavailable

    We're sorry, this Group isn't available right now

    (Cue: Dour music)

  22. I bet joke will be on the girls when they meet whomever wins the auction. Actually, no, I bet JA never shows up to the auctioned date. It'll never happen.

  23. Oh Mare Mare, you may still be completely insane, but dang this shit you just pulled is SO good.

    I don't really like you, but I find myself rooting for you to kick some ass at Fashion Week and show Julia Baugher Allison who the hell she's messing with.

    It's ON.

  24. TEAM MARY, again!

    It does look 100x better on her.

  25. Unrelated, but I bet Julia was the little girl who tattled on her classmates but did worse when no one was looking. Do you think she's indignant often? I would predict yes. Probably an equal mix of indignant and sheepish, with, of course, others. Mary, on the other hand, looks like a straight shooter to me. Even if it stems from her stupidity, I like it.


  26. lol lol lol lol

    Go Mary go! "My apologies, bunny!" Hahaha.

  27. dude, what's up with this? NNN puts the unedited TMI videos on vimeo, and then the hags add their commentary?

  28. I can't believe you guys buy into this shit. It's worse than The Hills.

  29. The dress is fine, but Jesus tights and boots. Really? Im some kinda overly macho guy and even I know this ensemble is hideous. I do think Mary could beat the shit out of Baugher, despite weighing 100 pounds less.

  30. Anony 1:50, what in the name of Duncan Hines is The Hills?

    This shit is damn fine entertainment. How many faux reality shows are there where the viewers get to help write the scripts? They do something redonkulous, we laff our hinders off, and they scramble to cover up and/or explain whatever provoked the ridicule over here. It's better than a Habitrail full of dancing hamsters, with only slightly more emphasis on poop.

  31. Sweet Savior on a Saltine Cracker, was Mary wearing CAPRI effing TIGHTS??? With boots so short that there was a gap between the top of the boots and the bottom of the tights? Forget the fashion police, is there a fashion psychiatrist in the house?

    Thanks for tricking me into watching that, Feldman.

    Also, her mentioning that the dress was "laying around" and "wrinkled" -- I'd like to surmise that Jabba the Butt tossed it on the floor and stomped on it to show her displeasure.

  32. this is great. i love mary. she needs to ditch the bitch.


  33. If Mary covers even barely fashion week she will have out shone both MA and JA on their Davos coverage..

    All with less help than Ja And MA had at Davos..:)


  34. And Meghan is giggly as she films it. SWEET! It is ON!

  35. Back in the early days of NS (gawd, seems like forever ago), people were ragging on Mary, not about her linebacker shoulders and lack of hips(as she thought, and took it as body snarking), but rather how poorly she dressed her body type.
    This dress is a great example of how to do it right! Wide shoulder straps and a fuller skirt balance her out and she looks fab. This dress would have worked on Julia as well; she must have been pissed that her tatas weren't hanging out because otherwise it would suit her too.
    And Mary, please! Spaghetti straps are not your friend. (But they do suit Meg.)

  36. She does look quite good from the knees up. As the Fugly Girls would say, it's a scroll-down fugging.

  37. I never noticed how freakishly long her stupid-pointy index finger is! Good lord, her fingernail is in a different zip code than her knuckle.

    Possibly related, I have a sudden urge to snap into a Slim Jim.

  38. Mary wore it better. And those guns! I did not mind the tights and boots. I live in a winter city and sometimes you have to incorporate the temperature/climate into the attire. She did this well, imo.

    That said, there is no reason Jackles had to turn on this dress the way she did. I am sure it would have suited her body type just as well -- only different. Like, it would have hidden her lower half just fine (though you can't hide cankles). Mary's crime here is that it would have hidden Jackles' best aspect, her waist. FOR SHAME MARY!

    But Mary wore it better because she cared to. And her body is pretty awesome, obviously because she works for it.

    But you can tell Rambo is a little nervous in her vidi. She is laying the final smackdown on Jackles in the court of public opinion and it makes her jumpy.

    Jackles on the other hand will cut a sister down in public over the wrong dress, so you can't be too careful around her.

    Rambo, i recommend sleeping with one eye open until after fashion week.

  39. This is a stunt--JA is known for reviving old tired themes--and back in December when they went to the opera, Mary dressed herself and Meghan in "princess" dresses and put Julia all in black, [right after J blogged about how she loved to wear 'colors']

    Page views and keeping NS alive does not happen from Julia blogging about getting her nails done.

  40. LOL, on the unedited Vimeo TMI clips page, Mary's asked that the editor remove the "outtake of Meghan and Julia not being able to say Filet Mignon and balsamic."

    That is hysterical.

  41. So, here is an idea. [Came to me while I was drying my hair with the hair dryer that I bought]

    I am going to start 'living differently' just like the girls. I will start with contacting the companies that the girls have gotten free stuff from to see if I too can drop Julia's or Mary's name to get stuff that they recommend.

    Dear Matrix
    Mary Rambin blogged that if you need product to fix your hair, Matrix will just send it to you. I would like some of the products that were sent to her and I will blog about how great they are!

    Thanks so much for helping me to live differently!

    I promise, I will tell everyone about how great you are.

    Dear Hair dryer people:
    Mary really inspired me to reach out to you and ask for some free hair dryers..please send me some and I will give them out to my friends with the explicit instructions to blog about which ones they liked best.

    Dear People that let people borrow clothes.
    I have a friend who is just gorgeous. If you send me high end dresses [size 6 please] I will photograph her and send the pics to non-society and I am sure they will post them [cause they are all about inspiring people to live differently] and if my friend does not like a particular dress, I promise I will keep her from saying bad things about it rather than fighting with her about it on the internet.

    thank you,
    non-society wannabe

    Dear billionaires with airplanes:
    Hi, I need to fly across the country next month, JA says that you will be willing to do this [but she advised against me taking pictures and confessing to having a crush on you] I will bring a friend that is very pretty and pretty loose with the morals if you know what I mean.

    So, if the 450 people who comment here all sent e-mails to even one of their 'sponsors' not saying we won't buy their stuff but that rather we have been led to believe that this stuff is free--hmmm--that could be funny.

  42. Black tights, brown boots, navy dress. Mary, are you color-blind? Neutrals do not always work with other neutrals.

  43. RachelD 10:35: actually, she wants them to keep in the mispronunciation outtake but edit it differently.

    So no one else has to go crawling through their Vimeo, MR sez:

    "outtake of Meghan and Julia not being able to say Filet Mignon and balsamic

    I don't like the first outtake, might make more sense to put that filet mignon thing in the begining with one girl and then insert the other one later"

    All things considered, she does take things honestly and with a sense of humor, which is more than I could say of janky ol' jackles