Thursday, February 19, 2009

Julia: More Tweets From a Twit

One of the funniest -- and craaaaazzzziest -- habits of Jackles is when she begins Tweeting or blogging about how HAPPY!!!!! she is in the immediate aftermath of a humiliating public smackdown. In the course of a week, we've watched Jackles swing wildly from OMG!! I'M SO HAPPY! HAPPY!!! I AM REALLY HAPPY!!! to "I'm so depressed I don't want to get out of bed and in fact, I think I'll blame a friend's possible cancer recurrence as an excuse to skip work and lie around and blog about myself because I am so goddamned depressed and someone needs to love me so why shouldn't I love myself by reminding my fans that I AM NOT FAT, it's just that Mary and Meghan are anorexic, you haters" and then back to OMG!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!! I AM SO SO SO HAPPY!!! once again.

What prompted this latest upswing?

Well, less than an hour after David Karp was forced to bow to howls of outrage from those blogging on Tumblr, including the many who shut down their blogs and departed, and criticism from the New York Times and beyond about deleting Tumblrs that were critical of our Jackles, and less than 24 hours after she had crowed with glee about the death of those very Tumblrs to Valleywag, Jackles tweeted this:

hehehehehe from web



It was almost chilling, really. Was that a giggly "hehehehe" or a diabolical "hehehehe?" But soon the tried-and-not-so-true old-style JA strategy emerged:

Happy.
about 6 hours ago from txt


And then this old saw, just in case anyone briefly pondered, after Tweet No. 1, that perhaps Jackles had initiated some kind of really ill-conceived, backfiring PR stunt with Karp designed to get them some attention:

I feel very, very blessed.
about 6 hours ago from txt


Nope, no worries, everyone -- Jackles is just back to doing what she thinks she does best. When revealed to be the fraud (Jules, honey, "journalists" don't advocate censorship) and the foot-stomping, grade-A douchebag that she is, she reverts back to her tedious defence mechanism: to pretend she doesn't have a care in the world! "What's that, you say? The Internet hates me?? I wouldn't know and why would I care? I am just SO HAPPY right now! I'm blessed, do you haters hear me? I am positively blessed! Oh, I know I was just blogging the other day about how depressed and exhausted I am and how I hate my appearance and how I am NOT fat, goddamn it, it's just that my closest friends are anorexic! And I realize I looked like a total ass gloating to Valleywag and publicly emasculating my "friend" and investor David Karp! But pay no mind! Don't listen to me! But wait -- listen to me now. I AM HAPPY!! BLESSED, DO YOU HEAR ME??? I. AM. SO. FUCKING. HAPPY."

Mom and Dad Baugher truly are arriving in the nick of time. Somebody needs some chemicals. The kind that aren't injected by Dr. Bobby.

36 comments:

  1. which investor bails first?

    Meghan?
    Mark?
    Karp?
    Daddy revenue Daddy WarBucks?
    Sponsors?

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  2. What "sponsors"? I think those already baled. Unless you mean the free Avon Mary is still getting.

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  3. Julia on her outfit yesterday: "My questionable outfit this afternoon. Whatever, these boots made me feel like RuPaul. In a good way.
    HA."

    Riiiight. Nope. No way. Julia's not reading over here at all. She just lost the headbands and poofy skirts, thought up the cross dressing diva references and questionable outfit remarks all on her own. Questionable by who exactly? Mary? Other fashion week attendees? Ummm... US perhaps? She does not say.

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  4. She's truly sick in the brains. Starship bitch meltdown!

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  5. Who the hell goes to bed at 6 a.m. -- according to her text??? And this is like, a regular occurrence. Jesus, this woman has issues. Horrible sleep patterns, horrible diet, horrible treatment of her skin and body -- I am not surprised at all she looks about 40 years old. Her mom and dad need to drag her ass home and into rehab. She may not be addicted to drugs or alcohol, but her personality disorders have obviously wreaked just as much havoc on her body as if she did have a substance abuse problem.

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  6. @ James: So true! I think you can go to rehab for the kinds of probs Jackles has. B/c she needs more than meds at this point. She needs de-programming, therapy AND meds to help fix this mess.

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  7. Julia Intervention 2009

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  8. I can see the A&E show now... "Julia thinks she is participating in a documentary about being an egoblogger. She does not know she will soon face an intervention."

    "Hi, my name is Julia. J-U-L-I-A."

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  9. Mary posted that Axe is NS's new sponsor. Why do these girls only seem to land deodorant sponsorship?

    Also: Axe? Really? Isn't that for straight dudes who will never, ever read NS?

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  10. Oh, Julia keep checking New York Social Diary. Really, it's cute when you do. You will never appear there again. Your cute dog makes the cut. So does Leven Rambin. Even C-listers like Kim Kardashian, the 90210 girls and Kellie Pickler get pictured. But you? Nah.

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  11. Axe's ads ALWAYS feature mindless, guy-crazy girls (note: not women) who appear to be swayed by material nonsense (like uh, a dude smelling like Axe). It's really a perfect fit.

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  12. I say we get Jankles phone number and flood her with wakeup calls at 7-9AM. We can file it under tough love.

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  13. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

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  14. Anon 12:17, actually, I AM surprised nobody here has gotten ahold of Julia's phone number and prank call her...

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  15. Jerky Boys style, with voicemails.

    I'd imagine they'd be similar to her email responses:

    "I'm just so exhausted. I don't get any sleep. Please, just find something better to do with your time, OK? Volunteer somewhere. Feed the homeless. Take time out for a charity. Seriously, I'm not that special or important and really, I'm just boring. It's a waste of your energy. You really don't understand how much all this stuff stresses me out from day to day and how much pressure I'm under. Show some compassion. Have a little heart. Would you do this if your mother were standing behind you?"

    Sympathy wouldn't ever fall her way, but she'll be damned if she doesn't try!

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  16. "Why do these girls only seem to land deodorant sponsorship?"

    Because they stink.

    HIYO!!!!!!

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  17. mama baugher has landed.

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  18. and she's wearing a headband.

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  19. Oh Momsers, you got your work cut out for you.

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  20. Good. If Momsers and Dadsers really cared about Daughsers, they would use this opportunity to have a serious talk with her and hopefully cut off their enabling cash supply until she moves back to Chicago and gets whatever help she clearly needs.

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  21. Yeah, they must be underwriting her lifestyle because an apartment like hers in NYC would run what 2K a month?

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  22. Please, RBNS, can you guys put up a tip jar on the side? I would like to contribute to this valuable service. Love this blog.

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  23. Julia posted a video and photo of her and Mary at Fashion Week yesterday. Somebody has to get a screen grab of it. Her face was butchered by Photoshop. Who ever told her that outfit was flattering was lying. She looks awful.

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  24. That runway "walk off" they did was funny. Julia's head bobs side to side (for no reason), she is clumsy/clompy as well. Mary rocks it pretty good though.

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  25. Didn't JAB say her parents were coming to NYC? Where's dad then? Out picking up the Victoria's Secret goodie bags? (ewww)

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  26. I am kind of afraid that they might take Julia away. The father is obviously still working to support this mess and he will probably fly in for the weekend. If I recall correctly, the mother already announced that the family has taken certain austerity measures (e.g. canceling phone service at their 2nd home). My guess is that the dad just wants to retire and is deeply concerned that Julia no longer has a regular job.

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  27. momsers looks better than Julia in the face....how can that be she is older than Jankles..

    must be all that stress of internet haters

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  28. Awww. You'd think Julia would take a picture of her mom next to that very impressive bouquet of roses she received for V-Day. No sight of them in the apt. In any of her pictures this week. Hmmmm.

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  29. @Anon 3:10: Which one?

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  30. "Carl" LagerfeldFebruary 19, 2009 at 3:34 PM

    We heard you the first 1,284 times, Mary. Pin a rose on your nose. You own a pair of $840 patent leather YSLs. You also don't have an apartment with a closet to put those $840 shoes in at the moment, but thanks for reminding us that it's people like you who contributed to the credit meltdown.

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  31. hurry send out the police JA is missing from the internets for hours..

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  32. That picture of her mother with the magazine over her face is priceless.

    Anyone want to take bets on how long it took from Julia pulling out a camera before her mother put the magazine up to her face?

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  33. and megs looks to have thrown in the towel. One re-blog os JA's stupid facebook link and one dumb video from yesterday is all she's managed.

    I picture her at home. Three-quarters of her belongings are packed in cardboard boxes she picked up from H&M and Stop&Shop. She's staring at two cell phones on the low table in front of her. One is from her FBI handler. The other, smeared a bit with cupcake frosting, is her link to JA and NonSociety. The bottle of Merlot is open and half-drunk. She's sitting cross-legged on the floor. Probably smoking.

    What more do her bosses need? she's asking herself. How much evidence? The pictures of JA leaving the Finnish embassy? Check. Yesterday's struggle with Karp for all the world to see? Check. Now JA's "mother" in town? She grips the bottle tighter. "I can't do this double life much long..."

    A phone is chirping. It takes her a minute.She shakes her wine-clouded head. Which is which?

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  34. "How cute is my Mom at her very first NY Fashion show?! She sat front row next to me and gushed about the collection." (from NS, 5:19 pm)

    Way to condescend, Julia. If I were your mother, I'd give you a smack you wouldn't forget too soon.

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  35. Momsers has needed to give Julia a good smack LOOOONG before this, but will she finally give her daughter the tough love/talking to she needs? Doubt it. If the Baughers really cared out Julia's manic personality issues, they'd cut off her funding and get her help.

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