Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mean Girls

Usually we just ignore the Trio's little show and rarely post about it here, because, seriously, it deserves to die and any attention we give it just keeps it going. However, today's "episode" of TMI Weekly is called "Mean Girls," and we couldn't help but bite. Since Mary admonishes viewers for writing negative things on a "public forum," we also can't help but feel a little singled out (aww, thanks bunny!). Our Trio discusses why women are so catty toward one another and how jealousy is often the cause. Sigh.

We're at work, bunnies, so we can't delve too deep into the way these girls present their subject, but we want to know what you think. Here's what TMI Weekly commenters have said thus far (despite their new commenting policy, who knows if these will get deleted):

  • Vez wrote on February 5, 1:59 pm

    You girls touched on some really important issues. You are right, many girls will put you down for anything, even if you make a tiny spelling mistake they will dwell on it like you have majorly screwed up in life and tell you that you are uneducated and stupid! When a person can let go of judgment and accept a person as they are then there will be no more negative criticism and mean behaviors. Why create such negative destruction anyways, it really doesn't do anything for you, it just feeds you with more negative energy and no one likes to be around that. It's not cool to look at someone and pick on their imperfections. And even so, what an imperfection is for one person can be perfection for another. I am glad you did this episode, I really like it that you girls continue to be yourselves and let all the negativity roll off you backs! Keep it up!

  • LauraDameeks wrote on February 5, 1:47 pm

    I can be a total mean girl. My comments about people are usually on the negative side, but I try not to hate on other girls' appearances. I'm usually dissing something substantive. But I will say, sometimes when I listen to myself I'm just like UGH. Can I not see the good in people?

  • NewRachael wrote on February 5, 1:31 pm

    In your situation specifically, most of the people who've become detractors (me included) originally started as people who cheered you on. What you're seeing now is a direct reaction to suggestions that weren't answered or even acknowledged, blogging practices that were dishonest, and a general apathy towards the people who read your site and give you the much-coveted pageviews.

    I don't think it's jealousy so much as overwhelming frustration with your consistent lack of substance. The people leaving mean comments aren't hating for hating's sake, they're frustrated with your site's inability to live up to its potential.

    That said, Mary, I admire that you have been blogging about things relevant to your area of expertise, like hair dryers and eyeliner. That may sound sarcastic, but it's not. You are doing a good job of reinforcing your brand as the style expert, and I really thing Meghan and Julia could learn a lot from the way you approach your blog. Sorry... "lifecast."

    -- Rachael Osborn

  • Auntie Em wrote on February 5, 1:19 pm

    So, when Mary posts a picture of somebody on her blog and states what is wrong with the fashion choice this person made-- that is not mean-- that is her profession?

    When Julia gave her comments on Brittney Spears, or stated that Biden's son was a douchbag, or that Charles Foreman was one too, again, not mean, just being a professional?

    It has probably been taken down by now, but didn't Mary blog that 'frisky' [another blogger] was a manipulative bitch?

    The moderators of this site--warn that profanity will not be accepted, yet, Julia drops a couple of F bombs on her panel at DLD, Mary swears quite frequently in her blog and in this segment--bitches [used to refer to those of us who earnestly disagree] and the word shit are acceptable.

    This is classic NS policy: Take us or leave us--we can rip on people--we can post/delete--never address very basic issues--and still consider ourselves transparent and professional.

    The little things--Mary blogs that she has not been on her computer or cell for a day-- yet, within the time frame Mary refers to, both Julia and Meghan post pictures of Mary on her cell and typing on her computer. Is this a big deal-- no--however, what was Mary's purpose for blogging that statement at all?

    I have to go with the lion's share of naysayers--NS is just a bunch of kissy face pictures of girls screaming LOOK AT US. Watch us go here and there, fly back and forth, and look at all the different clothes we wear and opportunities we have. Do not ask us how we afford plane tickets, do not comment on the clothes we wear [????] do not have opinions. Just look into the windows of our crazy lives and shut the F up if you do not like it.


  • lindsey wrote on February 5, 1:00 pm

    It's nice to see you girls attempting to maturely address an issue that's obviously been bugging you lately. I don't believe you succeeded entirely, but I appreciate that you were up-front and refused to stoop to the obnoxious level of the "haters" you've been faced with lately. Where you fell short was in the method of delivery - you could have used some research or an expert opinion to support the points you were trying to make.

  • greykittie wrote on February 5, 1:00 pm

    LOLocaust @ 4:40! Go Mary, Go Mary, Go!'s free content. Don't get your knickers in a twist, they can say whatever they want and you will probably still watch them! :D

    Even when I disagree with you guys, I love to watch, because you are like INTERACTIVE SEX AND THE CITY, and though I freaking hated that show on a social level, I found it entertaining and love Patricia Fields' styling for Carrie. For example, the idea of a colonic scares the crap out of me [pun unintended] and I think juicing is a cool concept but for a lady on a weight gain mission, totally unrelatable.

    Actually, can you do an episode on trying to GAIN weight? I feel like the only one in the world...

    In regards to the episode though, I did feel a little awkward, but it's because no one is a fan of admitting that they talk shit. When someone mentions gossiping or starts to gossip, you feel guilty, but it's fun, and usually the fun outweighs the guilt. Sucks to admit, but it's true. It's just human nature and it's something we often try to change. Timeless issues.

    Also, Julia rocks headbands like no other! DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT UBERFABULOUS. You are! I love your make-up! I love your ribbons! I am jealous of your super shiny long hair!

    Kate/Hayley Jane

  • melindanyc wrote on February 5, 12:58 pm

    This is an obvious attempt to try and make those who leave negative feedback feel bad. Have you ladies ever considered the possibility that people are not jealous of you because you have nothing we wish to covet? Is it possible that aspects of your personalities are offensive or just wholly unlikeable? Isn't that an easy excuse to say that such dislike stems from jealousy? Isn't that a passive aggressive way to try and put yourselves on pedestals and make people think you have lives worthy of our jealousy?

  • avogueidea wrote on February 5, 12:42 pm

    @sassy Im sure the mean comments are what brought up the idea for this epsiode, but the issue of "mean girls" is bigger than just a few comments on a website, and I think the n.s. Girls get that, and THATS why they did this episode.
    And it not that condescneding because they admited that they are not saints... they have done it too from time to time, but its the fact that they felt guilty about it and regretted their actions that counts. Sometimes people that leave nasty anon. comments on the internet probably feel not one ounce or guilt or regret, and its terribly sad for them that they're so void true happiness.

  • Giselle wrote on February 5, 12:28 pm

    I think you're taking a rather tired and stereotypical argument and use it to defend and protect yourselves. In one breath Julia says she doesn't hate on other women, in the next she's admitting to hating on another woman citing that "she's human." Oh, she's human, but the rest of us who give in to those more petty urges, where "Mean Girls?" Thanks. Also, you ladies are pushing 30. Enough with the comparisons to shows and movies that involve teenagers.

  • itzlindz98 wrote on February 5, 11:54 am

    Nice episode, girls! Its really brave of your to bring up such a touchy subject for most people. I agree with you that at the end of the day, why should you be mean or talk behind other people's backs? You're only hurting yourself. And to quote my favorite movie, Mean Girls...

    "Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you/"

    SO TRUE!

  • Sassy wrote on February 5, 11:36 am

    yikes, this is a pretty condescending episode. Mary gets a bit aggressive at the end with "mean girls, rethink this, it's YOU that looks bad!" etc. This whole 'we don't talk shit, neither should you' theme is just uncomfortable. the girls are essentially scolding commenters and telling them to be nicer to them.


  1. Even when I disagree with you guys, I love to watch, because you are like INTERACTIVE SEX AND THE CITY,

    You know, it is. It IS like an interactive Sex and The City. A bunch of women with obvious issues who have convinced themselves they are fabulous while ignoring the obvious. Who, if they existed in real life, would be dateless, homeless and jobless.

    Kudos all around gals!

    LauraDameeks wrote on February 5, 1:47 pm

    I can be a total mean girl. My comments about people are usually on the negative side, but I try not to hate on other girls' appearances. I'm usually dissing something substantive. But I will say, sometimes when I listen to myself I'm just like UGH. Can I not see the good in people?

    Nice try, Julia. How's that "no iternet" thing working for you?

  2. greykittie is exactly the type of audience they want and cater to. There's nothing wrong with that, but if they really want to be taken seriously as a unique or pioneering concept, they should worry about what kind of audience they're attracting. But they won't.

  3. Well, I'm just a dude. What is it with us guys and the fact that we aren't ever mean, don't bitch, nor care about trivialities? Hmmmm?
    Fuck that. I saw Julia Allison in the street today, and I gotta say, she really is porky. Also, I have now seen for myself why it is that she never has photos taken of the left side of her face.

  4. Ha ha! Excellent observation, Christan. Barring Meghan's apartment from her parents, the are basically dateless, homeless and jobless aren't they?

    Perhaps they have carved out their true niche: proving that being a living example of Sex and the City does not work, ever, and will probably ruin your life. Thanks for the valuable public service, ladies.

  5. ps. I have to say, it was quite a strange sensation to see someone whom I know to garner such derision out in public.
    There I was, walking along, thinking about how I was looking forward to getting somewhere warm and checking in on this site, and she passes me in the street. It was so freaking meta I almost created a psychic black hole.

  6. AnonDude, don't we have enough to worry about with the Large Hadron Collider? Be more careful where you walk! ;-)

  7. Ha ha AnonDude. It is true that Julia Allison can suck you into a black hole of altered reality.

    I am curious of people's reactions to her in person. She blathers on endlessly about how she's so misunderstood online and that if you actually met her she's a really, really nice person, she promises! Judging from how little people she actually seems to have in her life, I'd say that rings pretty false. Anyone else have tales of meeting or interacting with her in real life?

  8. I had a few e-mail exchanges with her about a year ago. She was asking for feedback about personal branding. I wrote a pretty detai8led, snarkless response. Really gave her some good info and insights that I've learned through running my business. Not even a thank you response. Two days later I wrote an e-mail in response to a comment she made that was rather pompous. Maybe 2 lines. She replied with something like "God. I was just thinking aloud. Jesus!" So, do something nice and she barely acknowledges you. Tell her she's a self-involved womanchild and she flips. Lesson learned.

  9. Dear NS Pity Partyers,

    I am a female music journalist who specializes in jazz and rock, two male-centric fields. I am thrilled when I get to review a group or CD that has a female instrumentalist. Because I'm a female instrumentalist myself.
    I'm procrastinating RIGHT NOW writing a review of Jeff Beck's new CD which has a SMOKING female bassist and I can't wait (well, I can, cause I'm here, uh, procrastinating) to write about her.

    I am also a college professor. I make it a priority to be a role model and mentor to the young female instrumentalists who study in my dept.

    Are you feeling me? I do not bash women for a hobby.
    I just can not abide you three and resent the hell out of you labeling yourselves journalists. You. Are. Not. Journalists.

    Pack up your knives and go home.

  10. They are now pre-approving comments at QOTD. I guess miracles really CAN happen.

  11. Anon 2.49 pm - Do tell, what does the left hand side of her face look like? Can it be that bad?

  12. Comment pre-approval = drastically reduced web traffic. *rubs hands and cackles with glee*

  13. Anon 6:05: I believe Julia feels the same way about the other half of her face as Two Face or the Phantom of the Opera.

  14. Armed with the knowledge that people who are lying tend to touch their nose when doing so, watch this segment of TMI Weekly again and watch Julia.

  15. Did anyone else see Mary's response to Auntie Em? It was along the lines of "go to hell and find another website that makes you fucking happy."

  16. God this video was bad. What is there for people to be jealous of? Do they really believe that jealousy is why they are being criticized?

    Julia's voice is so unappealing to listen to. Mary's thinly veiled threat to RBNS posters and her request that women stick together make her look pathetic. And Meghan looks like she barely knows whats going on. There was a real tone of aggression to this video - who exactly are they trying to appeal to?

    And is it just me or does Julia's face look really puffy?

  17. From Anon 8.43 Oh and I just submitted my comments to TMI also.

  18. Anon 8:28

    Re: Mary's comment to Auntie Em

    Are they deleting Mary's comments? Har!
    I didn't see her response to Auntie Em.

  19. Mary's response to Auntie Em was on the tmi weekly comments this afternoon and it's gone now. It must have been deleted since it didn't fit with the trio's anti-mean girl/negative comments message of the day.

  20. My comment (shocked that it was posted, actually):

    I think we're all waiting for you to take responsibility for the content (or lack thereof) that you put out there, as opposed to issuing a simplistic (and whiny) you're-just-jealous-because-you-can't-be-me rant.

    We're former fans saddened by the fact that you had a good idea, but turned that good idea into a vanity site, run by women with incredibly duplicitous personalities.

    When you cease calling people "c*nts" and bloggers "bitches" because they call you to task for how you present yourself and alleged brand online, then perhaps we can take you a little bit more seriously.

  21. Classic Julia Allison: Do things that show her true, terrible and shallow personality, then quickly do some kind of PR spin that attacks the issue of people hating on her.

    The Real Sex and the City? LMAO! Julia wishes. Those women had jobs. They were classy and didn't try to pretend to be everybody else (or whatever got them the most attention). They weren't groupies who humiliate themselves flying to conferences they have no reason to be at.

    Any fan of their site is pathetic. Nonsociety was the idea of somebody else that Julia stole. She's the biggest phony on the planet!

  22. Women hate them because women can smell trash.