Thursday, February 26, 2009

Yulia: Greetings from the land of MEMEME!


I wish there were Birthday Bridesmaids.
Next year


I speak pretty good English and even *I* not sure what Poofy going for here. You want to be marry by next year? You send secret coded message to mens you are going on second dates with? Or wait, you want TEN LADIES to be your BESTIE PALS IN PRETTY DRESSES because it is your BIRTHDAY?!?!?!?

Even as fantasy with tongue in cheek, this is loonball.

This bipolar birthday is going to be doozy.

57 comments:

  1. See, Jackles, here's the thing about "bridesmaids," in case the concept is lost on you:

    They're called bridesmaids because they are meant to act as support (for lack of a better word, a "maid") for a BRIDE. You know, a woman who is about to get married.

    Why AREN'T there birthday bridesmaids? Hmmm. Let's see. Maybe because the person celebrating her birthday is not, in fact, a bride? And, therefore, would have no need for, erm, maids? Funny how words are...

    What would the proper word be? Birthdaymaids?

    Oh, and another thing (see what I did there? Old school Jackles!)...in order to have bridesmaids, one must first have FRIENDS to become said bridesmaids.

    Yeah. Good luck with that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That "Next Year" line really freaks me out~ I feel like she's trying to threaten me with the concept of Birthday Bridesmaids.

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  3. Well, that would be probably the closest thing she would ever get towards being an ACTUAL bride. Just a sad, birthday fake-bride.

    The concept of Julia at 40- this shrilling, pathetic, botoxed old haggard face- just scares me.

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  4. i'm not a violent person, but julia allison makes me want to cut a bitch. YAY.COM!

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  5. Anon 10:20 - OUCH! And, yet, so true...

    What are you talking about, Julia at 40? That's Julia at 28! And, hate to break it to you, but it's no concept. Have you SEEN this person recently?

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  6. She's veering into Michael Jackson territory. What a freak show.

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  7. Oh, hey guys, don't forget! In lieu of buying drinks for the birthday girls (because who doesn't want to??), donate to charity! Such big hearts these girls have. But you still need to bring expensive gifts for BOTH birthday ladies. That is, assuming you're actually going to the freak-fest. I, unfortch, am busy. SOB.

    Funny how the $10 door charge has now become the substitute for paying for drinks. Or is there still a door charge? Well, whatever. Don't forget to wear pink or blue!!

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  8. Can I just say how JEALOUS I am that Julsie is have her birthday party at the ultra-exclusive...er...where ever she's having it? SO. JEALOUS.

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  9. I think it will be just a teensy bit sad for Jackles tomorrow when she's surrounded by people who don't really care that it's her birthday. Let's call this what it is. It's Julia's way of horning in on anything cool that Randi Z might be getting for her birthday.

    I would never want to share my birthday party with someone else. How rude and ingratiating. Randi is probably too nice to tell her no

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  10. Interpretation: "I want to make sure no one outshines me."

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  11. 10:38, what are you talking about? Randi should be honored that Jackles chose HER, out of all of her many adoring friends and fans, to share parties. In fact, why stop there? Randi should share presents, friends/co-workers/family members, jobs, bank accounts...

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  12. where does she come up with these? is there like a 'Big Book Of Stupid' that she's quoting for her twitters?

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  13. jesus christ. this woman thinks her birthday is a fucking national holiday and wants everyone else to treat it like that. she barely mentioned Mary's birthday and yet expects her two BFFs and everyone else to fly across the country to celebrate with her.

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  14. Princess Happycakes: Yep. It's one of Roget's lesser-known titles.

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  15. YAY.COM!!!! LOOK AT MEEEEEE!!! I AM SO HAPPEEEEEEE. Gloriously, deliriously, ineffably indefatigably happy. Happy, happy, happy.

    HEAR THAT??? I'm happy, dammit.

    Guys?

    Hey, guys? Where are you all going? We haven't taken pictures of my kissy face yet.

    ReplyDelete
  16. lots of anon on this thread

    just saying

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  17. To whoever does the "mobile" programming and thinks I'm Julia, you might be aware of the fact that the newest cell phones, including the iPhone, contain implementations of OpenGL-ES for 3D graphics. Today, I implemented quaternion rotation using SLERP (sperical linear interpolation), by converting Euler angels to quaternions to rotate in 3 dimensions on top of a 4th dimensional hypersphere, thus avoiding the problem of gimbal lock when one axis is rotated to correspond exactly with another in 3D space. This is a standard 3D graphics technique, now finding its way onto modern cell phones.

    Here is a reference for you:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_between_quaternions_and_Euler_angles

    Now, we all know that Julia does not understand this math, as I'm sure nobody else reading this blog understands it, but in fact I do understand it and it is now implemented in C++ code on the phone I'm helping to build.

    By the way, Julia is very pretty and I like her very much.

    Study your math, kids. It's the key to the universe!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ew, is Paul the doctor?

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  19. Bwahahahahahahahahahahhaha, Paul, you are like a performance artist. Thank you for the laff, buddy.

    Glad you're not too busy with that hi-falutin' flibberty-gibbet to hang out here ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!

    Christ, where's that paper bag. I'm hyperventilating again...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Aw, I has a sad for sad for Paul now, guise. He's just a fan boi who really believes that Julia prefers nerds.

    If you're rich, that's all it really takes, Paul. Tomorrow night, slap on some flesh-tone Clearasil, douse yourself in Axe, climb aboard your trusty white charger (Dodge Charger), and go make your beloved's dreams come true. Don't forget your Amex Black. Better wear it around your neck or paste it to your forehead, if you want her to notice you.

    Good luck, and be sure to invite us to the wedding, you stud.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oops, I'm so sad, that I has a sad for sad AND for Paul. Typos are funny, except when they happen to me, dammit!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Detective Cupcake here:

    RBNSers, please visit the site below and rate Julia Allison. Right now, she's got a 2.62 out of 5. Categories include: classy, friendly, kind, smart, sexy, and more.

    The comments there are trending toward fawning wannabes and drooling fanbois. I urge you to go there now and set them straight.

    http://www.personratings.com/name/Julia/Allison/97

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  23. so maybe it's just because i drank a lot of wine but did anyone else look at that picture of JA and Sarah Lacy and go whoa, two headed woman?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Paul,

    Given:

    x has access to all z if and only if x understands math.
    Paul understands math.
    Julia does not understand math.

    Deductions:

    Paul has access to Julia.
    Julia may or may not have access to Paul.

    Interpretation:

    Paul is superior to Julia.

    Conclusion:

    You are asserting your superiority over Julia while accusing the RBNS community of the same action. You make no friggin' sense. Your SLERP implementation is probably just as buggy as your logic.

    ReplyDelete
  25. hey paul,
    I spent a couple years as a laborer at various residential construction sites in greater Boston.

    we had to dig little trenches to hold pipes that would bring water in to the houses. And take "waste" out. We had to slant them just so.

    So that the piss and shit would flow on down just right. And not get backed up and stuff.

    That's general, man. Do you want specifics? Do you want some angles? Do you want some yardage data, you unforgiveably moronic shitclown?

    ReplyDelete
  26. I must say I am enjoying Paul's sallies over here immensely.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oops, I meant to say I am enjoying "Paul's" sallies immensely.

    ReplyDelete
  28. enjoy?
    paul's dumb and geeky

    ReplyDelete
  29. The HJ?
    Quesque-SAY! what is this?

    ReplyDelete
  30. the job with the hand? you are TOTES my type.

    ReplyDelete
  31. flatface, RG - get a room.

    ReplyDelete
  32. oh god. I'm so dumb.
    (me going red in the face)
    e-mail?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymour 12:43

    That's why I enjoy his efforts. Where is your sense of humor? I truly look forward to his next attempts. They amuse me. He keeps on ticking. And coming back, like the whack-a-mole game. Fun!

    ReplyDelete
  34. email the site peoples. they will forward to me. i go spoon with horse now.

    ReplyDelete
  35. what website e-mail?
    Jesus...

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  36. So Anonymous 12:43, maybe I have not explained myself well, but for me "Paul" is now a recurrent preposterous character ( I know, I know, ANOTHER one?) in the soap opera known as Nonsociety. He comes to goad the Greek Chorus. Not very skillfully, but that's the fun of it.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh good Lord, flatface, are you drunk on the vodka?
    nonsociety.rb@gmail.com
    It at top of site!
    you are frisky one, you.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hee hee, Paul all day, every day!! Dance for us, monkey boy, dance!

    ReplyDelete
  39. flatface,

    try something like...

    To: nonsociety.rb@gmail.com
    Subject: RE: Handjob

    ReplyDelete
  40. Paul, I confess that I giggled when you linked to the bunny farm. I enjoy your wickedly perverse sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  41. thanks anon 1257
    I'll tell ya how it goes.

    Sweet jesus... I've lost all dignity on 22 minutes

    ReplyDelete
  42. Perhaps Paul is part of the "Geek" Chorus.

    Oh...much too late to be reading this.

    ReplyDelete
  43. flatface,

    BTW, be careful. Do NOT do something like...

    To:julia@nonsociety.com
    Subject: RE: Handjob

    or you will have a stalker for life.

    ReplyDelete
  44. This has been a most rewarding thread. Nite, bunnies! Exit smiling.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Strange that "Paul", someone claiming to be an expert on a subject, would use WIKIPEDIA as a reference, the ... site on which anyone can create and edit entries. RELIABLE, sir.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Or "sir", I should say.

    ReplyDelete
  47. As I suspected, Paul is Jimbo Wales! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  48. Paul, do you work for NVIDIA, by any chance? Please tell me you're not helping Nonsociety create an interactive 3D lifecast.

    Wait a minute. Would I be able to virtually thump Julia in her simulated head? Because that would rule.

    ReplyDelete
  49. to Pail

    You would not know OpenGl if it bit you on your ass sir..:)

    You have cral before you walk Paul=JA

    ReplyDelete
  50. oh and Paul=JA you do not help to build a phone..

    Its you help to buid An OS maybe but not phone as its hardware and differenet set of skills :)

    ReplyDelete
  51. Paul, it took you what 4 to 5 hours to come with a counter?

    HI Paul=JA..wave :)

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  53. This thread is like a drug trip.

    ReplyDelete
  54. you dingbats, Paul is clearly snarking... right? right?

    ReplyDelete