Thursday, March 5, 2009

Julia: Another Night on Planet Looney

What I wore on my date tonight.

Ummm, a cardigan? What is the point?

Anyway, here was another typical Jackles evening, in no particular order: Out on a date, Tweeting to make sure the ex she's still hung up on knows she was out on a date, then deleting the Tweet; saying how awesome the date was, with vague suggestion of sexytimes because again she was hoping Eater Guy might be paying attention, the customary "So happy!", complaining some more about her insomnia ... you know, just another fun night in Crazytown.

Firstly: the last Twitter contact between her and the Eater Guy was her expressing her loathing of him after he publicly, and beautifully, humiliated her. She also cursed him out on TMI Weekly for daring to have a girlfriend after they broke up, seemingly still unable to realize that the universal kiss-off line -- "I don't really want a girlfriend right now" -- doesn't mean he doesn't want a girlfriend right now, it means he doesn't want YOU as a girlfriend EVER. But, of course, she is RIGHT OVER all her exes. She never obsesses over them. They don't have emotional control over her, people! They don't! Neither do any of the 10 men in her life, including the ones who have moved on and have other girlfriends! SHE HAS NEVER BEEN HAPPIER!

Also, is anyone else sick of hearing about the insomnia and her holding up her refusal to take a sleeping aid -- just like she NEVER drinks, but was drunk on sangria last night -- as worthy of some sort of Purple Heart for bravery and virtue?

Hey, bonehead -- talk to a doctor. Get a prescription sleeping aid. Take it as prescribed whenever you can't sleep in order to get your sleep patterns straightened out. Then stop taking it. Then shut the fuck up about it. You know -- the way normal people deal with chronic insomnia.

UPDATE: Just because it's too funny not to:


  1. Notes to the Pink Braying Tutut wearign idiot:

    go to and type inJulai Allison and than view all your deleted twitters..

    Anything put on internet probably is not deletable..

    Of course your tech blogger ocudl of told you that.. if that was real tech blogger instead of pretend..

    This message was brought to you by Skyy Vodka

  2. My daughter is 17 and graduated high school in June. She and all her girlfriends bought their dresses at Betsey Johnson. When we went there, it was overrun with squealing teenaged girls all looking for their prom dresses.

    Jackles is 28 years old. It's creepy.

  3. I am in need of a Pink Braying Donkey that wears tutus..know where I can find one?

    Remebe folks to parse this shit use Skyy Vodka..

  4. My god, she's 28?? She looks like she' 40!

  5. Red Alert!

    They are changing to diagonal scrolling..per Mary:

    So, if one of our posts goes too long, just click on the pic. A ligth window will show up, and you can scroll through the posts from there using the arrows in the upper right corner. Confusing, and frustrating, I know. But we’re working on it.

  6. Who designed their website? Horizontal scrolling, lightboxes for posts...this doesn't exactly promote readability. Also, Mary and Meghan were obviously (perhaps still, I don't check their site anymore because it is zzzz) having trouble creating after the jump posts, so half of their post would get cut off. Julia was the only one who knew how to create a break...interesting! Wonder why she didn't alert this to her "sisters."

    Anyways, I am concerned about Julia's sleeping patterns. When does she usually wake up? How much sleep does she usually get? This is why her face looks so trashed all the time...she isn't getting proper sleep. You would think that someone who is so vain would realize this and try to score some sleeping pills to go to bed more often. Oh well, it makes it easier for everyone to make fun of her for looking like a beat-up handbag at the tender age of 37.

  7. Why in the hell are they calling that retarded feature a "light box?" It's a click through for another page view, plain and simple. Stop making up dumb words to sound fancy. It's a crappy blog with one sentence posts, not a lifecast. Idiots.

    And yeah - Julia stays up until four or five in the morning on a regular basis (but her new year's resolution was to go to sleep by 1:00, remember??) and regularly sleeps until well past noon - it's very evident in her blogging and twittering patterns. It's completely wrecked her looks and makes her come across as a lazy slob from a "business person" stand point because most of the sponsors, etc. for their "business" keep regular hours like normal working people. Hard to take conference calls or go to meetings when you don't get up until lunchtime.

  8. Julia Allison: "If I hold up the wonk eye with my finger, maybe it will stay put."

  9. James: The name of the javascript that the "retarded feature" is called is "Lightbox".

    It's supposed to be used for image galleries and portfolio sites. NS's use of it is horrible.

  10. Sorry this is the correct site for Lightbox2.

  11. 8:55 - "looking like a beat-up handbag" is perfect. I just died.

    If I didn't have tumblr, I doubt I would ever have continued watching this trainwreck because their blogs are just so awkward to read on the screen. I think at least Meghanaise is ashamed of it since her tech "buddies" pointed out how everything about it was so wrong - maybe that's another reason why she's been so quiet...

  12. Dear Julia-

    I have possess an LCSW in New York State. That mkes me a clinical social work. Also, I have advanced therapeutic training and am a former Bellevue Psychiatric Social Worker. Like you, I'm often concerned about putting chemicals in my body. I try to minimize antibiotics etc. I even see a homeopathic physician. Here's the thing:

    If you've tried everything you outlined on your blog and are still unable sleep, you need to see a sleep specialist OR an MD with experience in this problem. And, you do need to be open to taking something, homeopathic or an FDA approved medication, to help you sleep.

    If you continue like this you will be out of commission by 35, and barely in commission by 30. It's possible that a mood disorder (depression, dysthamia, bipolarity) or sleep apnea is causing this issue. Frankly, your moods do seem to cycle quite a bit. I would suggest a full assessment. If I was in town, I'd be happy to give you a free assessment because I think you'd be an interesting patient.

    -Kate, LCSW, MSW, Med

  13. Dear Kate:
    You might want to email JA directly. Are you sure her NPD is not a more pressing issue?

  14. None of their archived posts has the "more" feature, either. I love the redesign. It's on our side.

  15. So, if one of our posts goes too long, just click on the pic.

    What if there's no pic, genius? Do you think any of them has figured out you have to click on the date to expand non-photo posts? Doubtful, since they so rarely post enough text to require expanding the window.

  16. WORD on being totally sick of hearing constantly about how she has NEVER taken anything for her sleep disorder. As if that somehow makes her a stronger person. It takes a real, brave adult to admit one has some kind of mood disorder, which she obviously has if she NEVER sleeps normally. That's a fact, and all the kissy face pictures and cupcakes and "I'm so happy" tweets cannot cover that. Grow the fuck up and go to the doctor.

  17. I was just wondering if anybody else was having problems seeing the most recent post? I click on it to see the comments and nothing appears. Is this just me or what?

  18. I had the same problem, Cupcankles. The site was wonkier than Julia Allison's Botoxed eye.

  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

  20. cupcankles, i've had that problem before. if you go to the post before you can use the newer post link at the bottom. that usually fixes it

  21. Open letter to JA, MA and MR:

    Though I've imagined mean things to say in the past, I have never posted them because - although I find mean comments funny to read - it's not in me to post them. A contradiction, I know - but anyway.

    Here's the thing - on the plus side, I have been inspired to dress a little nicer and pay more attention to my appearance (make up, etc) after looking at your blog over a period of time. I don't take your specific suggestions because I have different ideas about how to look nice, but the fact that you all (well, mostly JA and MR) put effort into your appearance has inspired me. That's on the plus side.

    On the negative side, I think I don't take any of your actual suggestions to heart (and therefore not one of your sponsorship affiliations either) because it all seems like a fake way to keep JA in the spotlight and because none of you seem to have any expertise in your stated areas.

    MA and MR: JA has pretty much admitted in interviews that she went the threesome way in order to get more attention/spotlight/notice (the whole thing about how three D lists or whatever can often garner more attention than one D list alone or whatever). And it's feels obvious to everyone that you two are being used.

    I guess what's frustrating is that so many of your readers have asked you - since you say you are being so "open" and "raw" - to be more real with us. And like it or not - and this is especially true in this economy - money is at the heart of that. Many of us are working really hard at 40, 60 and 80 hour jobs at offices or at home, but jobs where we are crazy accountable and it can be frustrating to see how you guys buy DVF, YSL, Theory, etc. when you're not working for regular pay checks. All of you have quit or lost regular jobs, so where is the money coming from - I mean, level with us, please! It's not to pry but if you're all into this "live differently" idea, then show us how we can live like that too? Or be real with us about why we can't? It's not obnoxious to say "hey, we can cruise on private yachts or fly in private jets because we're fortunate enough to come from money." That's not mean, that's real, and we would get that. It's clear that each of you do - you've made that very clear in not so subtle ways (photos of your parents' homes, vacations, etc) but for some reason won't come out and be honest with us.

    Why not just say, Meghan, that you're lucky that your family has the $ to fly you from NYC to San Fran in a private jet? That's money that most of us can never imagine. Or just say you're going back to SF but don't post a private jet photo. I guess if you grew up like that, it's hard to know that there's such a gap between the haves and the have nots, but it's true and it's hard and feels really disrespectful that you want us to be your "readers" (and thus your pageviews, which gives you $$$) but you don't want to acknowledge the HUGE gap in regular people's lifestyles and yours.

    Meghan, one time you posted your budget - which I saved the image of because it was so ludicrous. Your shopping budget was set at about $800 PER WEEK! I mean, many of us are lucky to spend $800 per 6 months or year on clothes/shoes. So again - I think it's great that you have so many options in life, but please be honest with the rest of us if you're going to do this whole lifecasting this (which, btw, I agree with the others - bad idea - at least it would not be a good idea for me; why put yourself and your family/friends in the spotlight for - what? $100 from Google Ads? Seriously?).

    So, in the spirit of being real with you, those are my thoughts. It's also why I don't go to your sites any more - and when curious, I just come to RBNS as I can still see what's going on (and the cute dresses and outfits!) without giving any pageviews whatsoever to people who want to make money off of me without being at all honest, and with the seeming intention of only becoming famous... and for what?

  22. nice post anon 927

  23. Anon 9:27, you read my mind. This is my first post ever commenting on them because I enjoy the snark, just not writing it. I'm the exact same way w/r/t these girls (slightly inspired but more turned off by their shady practices and lies in the long run), and you said it better than I ever could have. Kudos.