Monday, March 16, 2009

Brother Britt Emerges: More Shame Upon The Family



Hello readers.

Once again, I am forced to explain my sister's antics to the outside world. Mother is beside herself and has sent along the Huffington Post article and the Zappos video, and continues to worry about Julia's Botox bloat during her long strolls along the rugged shores of Lake Michigan. Father is once more lamenting the shame being brought upon our family name. Today's litany of attention-seeking behavior is almost as humiliating as when Julia revealed Grandmama has not spoken to mother in 30 years. Some things should remain private. Like bowel movements and annual income.

The University Club's Steering Committee has renewed its queries today about Julia's true parentage, as has Mother's bridge club. Sometimes I wonder if a dreadful mistake was made, and if Father should perhaps be collecting DNA samples for analysis.

Sigh.

50 comments:

  1. Oh this has gone too far. Not cool.

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  2. Interesting timing. The matriarch establishing her daughter-in-law as persona non grata happened around the same time our own JABa made her imminent presence known. Related?
    Perhaps granny sensed that the Baugher name would be forever linked not to the high echelons of Chicago society but rather to shoes that went "from the grocery store to the stripper pole."
    Or maybe she was all Henry the Eighth about it and wifey was on the chopping block for not immediately producing a male heir.

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  3. Nah, it's satire and hysterical! I'm snorting. The University Club's Steering Committee bit is killing me!

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  4. Honestly, I feel really horrible for Julia's parents. It shocks me that they so frequently seem willing to pose for videos (I mean, Julia had to film them opening presents on Christmas????) and aren't cowering in the corner, pretending they aren't related to her.

    I wonder how much stuff they actually read online about her. I actually have a feeling they don't hear much negative press... or else they would've put the kabosh on this a long time ago.

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  5. I like the very poignant "about me": 'I am deeply ashamed'.

    It can be troubling to think how the family feels about all this and deals with it, though. Not mainly because of the embarrassment, I would imagine that no at least partly loving parent or sibling can want one of theirs to go so clearly off the rail. That's why i prefer to pretend she does not have a family behind her that could be affected by all this. I'm a wuss, I know...

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  6. Welcome, Brother Britt!

    You want stick it in?

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  7. Oh Russian Girl, you and your donkeys! Blush!

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  8. OMG, russian girl & baby britt sitting in the tree!

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  9. Total Jing: Satire of what?

    Not trying to piss on anyone's parade, just have a gut feeling that Julia's bro deserves none of this. He's just some PhD, working hard away from the limelight...(and also sent her a pretty good email a ways back detailing the superficiality of her blog).

    I don't know. I think it causes more harm than good. Julia can now have a good reason to say this site is "disgusting" and more people will agree. It's her family, you know?

    Two cents.
    k

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  11. k: It's comic relief.
    Please don't make me go to JABa's web site to find the letter she posted from her brother (with his permission?) where he was trying to do a mathematical calculation based on some guess their mother had made about Julia's notoriety (or something like that, I really don't remember). Now THAT was going rather far. But JABa posted it for all her 800,000 (oops ... 80,000) site clicks to see.
    This is just a satirical point of view. However, if you feel very strongly about it, I'd recommend you contact BB directly and outline your opinion.

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  12. K, I agree. We can make fun of Julia because she "puts" herself "out there!" Frankly, she wants us to because I'm sure she's of the school of thought that any publicity is good publicity.

    Her brother doesn't do anything to warrant our attention. If anything, he's a victim of being forced out there on her blog.

    Let's go back to making fun of her and the other idiots she willingly employs.

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  13. echnosailor @aureliusmaximus is sending hilarious emails about @juliaallison Blogger Lounge speech. I think he called it a "Mindfuck"

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  14. FormerGawkerEmployeeMarch 16, 2009 at 9:40 PM

    She sells her family out all the time and posts pictures/videos of them looking uncomfortable and awkward and, actually, Eeyore-ish. Whatever. It's not like his photo is being posted or his full name. I think this is promising as long as it's only an occasional thing.

    Keep mixing it up, RBNS!

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  15. Anon 9:30

    He came up with a percentage of substantial posts (vs. fluff/empty posts). It was rather biting.

    You don't need to search for it. I'm sure there will be some other Anons who will remember.

    Comic relief is fine. Women from Omsk = funny. Men related to Julia who do nothing worth joking about = not smart.

    And with that warning, I shall leave you to it!

    Best wishes,
    k

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  16. OT, I know, but this is a recent tweet from Ashton (aplusk):

    "Answers 2 common questions: Yes I C most peoples replys. rt mean retweet. & i decide who 2 respond 2 based on relevance of wht's bein said."

    Ashton does see ("C") Julia's tweets, but declines to reply because they are not relevant.

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  17. It's just bad taste. I agree with some of you. Her fam may be caught in the camera shots, but they ain't asking for it. Julia is.

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  18. I'm wondering if Mary's rumored leaving is much like the rumors last week about Meghan... just a rumor.

    Is there a video or tweet of Julia saying M is leaving? Maybe I missed it. Of course also possible that things last week such as "I always thought we were in this together" were misinterpreted as being about Meghan, and are actually about Mary...

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  19. K 9:40:
    "With that warning?" What exactly are you warning BB about?

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  20. I think k means that you start this Brother Brit business and then Julia and her asskissers have a good reason to say this site has gone too far. Maybe? Like, more people will agree it's gotten out of hand over here. Anyway, I think it's funny, but k does have a point. It may or may not get Julia to react. innnneresting, as she says!

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  21. Her fam may be caught in the camera shots, but they ain't asking for it. Julia is.

    They enable her. Without her parents writing the checks, she wouldn't be living here in NYC, jobless and inflicting her myriad mental "issues" on the general public.

    They read her drivel - in fact, she claims that her mother stopped speaking to her for a period of time because of some stuff that she read online about JABA the Nut.

    Her mother was here and witnessed her out of control narcissism (taking pictures of herself in MoMA), her rudeness and disregard for others (taking pictures in a theater, against explicitly stated rules) and all the rest of her sicko attention whoring.

    Her parents know how out of control she is, but they don't rein her in. Bad parents.

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  22. And who the hell are we to call them bad parents? Jesus! High horses. We can criticise Julia until the cows come home only coz she is actively engaging us/the public. Critisising her mom for pushing her out of her uterus, and raising her to be who she is? Well, its a nice hypothesis, but we have no right to start commenting on the Baugher family. We have no idea what went on. All we have is the "product" and that "product" certainly sells herself. Let's stick to the "product" and not the process that formed her.

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  23. ^and certainly not her brother! What the hell did he do? Or are we picking on him because he hasn't done anything? How do we know? You can laugh, but just pretend your him. There are people commenting indirectly about him right now on the internet. so weird. he's probably immersed in some physics problem or some crap...it's just weird.

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  24. They are all related to Julia so they are all poisoned. Fair game. I agree with you people!
    -Chris

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  26. It's a joke, people. I think this post really funny. Sometimes I think the commenters, especially MYSELF, take this fun little project way too seriously. I like the brief interjection of satire. I don't think any of the content will will do damage.

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  27. Yes, I will call them bad parents for continuing to support and enable her sicko behavior. Without them footing the bill, she would not be living in NY nor would she be pretending to have a career as...her annoying self.

    I don't criticize her parents for spawing her, but for not reining in her fucked up behavior and continuing to support it.

    Decent parents would have yanked her ass back to Illinois and gotten her some extensive psychotherapy.

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  28. It's also making far more fun of Jankles and is holding up the family as victims of her insanity, isn't it? Everyone chill.

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  29. Yeah, I am a loyal reader of RBNS but I'm gonna side with the "not cool at all" on this one for 2 reasons: 1. Britt does everything possible to stay out of the spotlight, and does not deserve to have links to his sister pop up with a Googling of his name and 2. It's just not funny.

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  30. Ok. so you wanna have a thread devoted to criticizing her parents? I just think it goes too far. It's not that my heart strings are being tugged at, it's that I think we give her a strong case to call us "haters". And others will agree, which is what she needs. Peeps are protective of their families...even those selfish peeps who will use "I'm protecting my family" as an excuse for more publicity.

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  31. Anon10:11: Is someone really going to be Googling "BrotherBritt?" His full name isn't on here and I don't think he's known in real life as Eeyore either.

    I don't really get what all the fuss is about. If anything it's sympathetic towards the family.

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  32. I for one am delighted to have another contributor because my ass is tired and all of you seem to be getting sick of me anyway. Welcome, bro!

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  33. It seems to me that "Brother Britt" has emerged as a voice in the key of Eyore from the point of view of the JABa persona periphery. A made-up persona presenting a point of view on another made-up persona. So I don't see that as "going too far". I believe it was posted in the spirit of satire and fun. (And I do find it funny in Eyore's voice.)
    However, it's also true that Miss Baugher provides a plethora of material in her own right so ... .
    For my part, I am highly appreciative of the people who created and maintain this site as a forum for the voices that were silenced on NS and were also disproportiately responsible for the site stats that were brayed about. RBNS is such a sweet idea; I guess I'm on the fence about this particular post, but I like the "voice".

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  34. Actually, he DOESN'T do "everything to stay out of the spotlight", anon 10:11. He lets her publish things about him on her "massively popular, read by 800,000,000* people a day" blog, for pete's sake.

    He could, like others have had to do in Ms. Baugher's life, enact a "no blogging this" clause but has refrained to doso. And, since he has failed to doso, we are free to talk about him as we please.



    *really 80,000... generously.

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  35. I miss Russian Girl. She knows about close-knit families and quiet (born without a mouth...Chernobyl) brothers.

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  36. Oh dear! "Brother Britt" is just a character, people! His privacy has not been invaded. It's a picture of freaking Eeyore, and his full name, or tumblr or place of work are no where in sight on the post. Jackles has invaded his privacy 1 million times worse a million times over. He is an ancillary character in this drama people! It is creative writing people! Have fun!!

    HAMARMS.COM!

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  37. You'd think that RBNS posted "brother britt's" social security card, home phone #, blood type, and home address with the way some people are acting!

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  38. Bicurious Party HatMarch 17, 2009 at 12:29 AM

    If Brother Britt is what it takes to rid this site of earnestly unfunny NewToJezebel-type commenters, more power to him.

    And Jacy, I am most definitely NOT sick of you or your snark.

    This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it. ~Eeyore

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  39. Hear hear, Bicurious.

    It kills me how people showing up here to relentlessly pillory JA ... justifiably, I might add ... are yet totally pious and holier than thou about Russian Girl's fat jokes, Jacy's snark, and now BB's obvious dry satire. What the hell?

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  40. LOL about the Googles... what, are they going to search for Britt Allison?

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  41. Jankles is not a dirty wordMarch 17, 2009 at 9:16 AM

    Seconded, Bicurious Party Hat! I think these earnestly serious commenters soooo concerned about precious brother Britt's privacy are the same folks who left in a huff when someone dared utter the word Jankles.

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  42. Well put me down as third in resounding agreement with Bicurious Party Hat. Those earnest commenters are sooooo tiring.

    This blog exists to be humorous and critical. And to be cuttingly hysterical.

    NO LINES WERE CROSSED HERE PEOPLE! This posting cannot be linked back to the actual BB beyond the circle here to make fun of dear old sister Julia.

    Phew.

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  43. Yeah put me down as a fourth in resounding agreement with bicurious party hat.

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  44. I do think this is tacky. And not really funny. There was so much news yesterday in the Julia world, why did this have to be posted? We could have used a post about the taxicab confessions or kept on with the Mary-leaving drama. Fake-family posting should be off-limits. It's not wussy or weak to appreciate certain boundaries.

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  45. Let's make a deal: RBNS and the commenters will learn to appreciate certain boundaries when our Patron Saint of Inappropriateness Julia Allison Baugher learns to appreciate certain boundaries.

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  46. You're daft if you think I'm about to align my behavior with Julia Allison's.

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  47. you won't have to. Rules and boundaries don't apply to her - if this site is a response to her behavior, it should be allowed to function the same way.

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