Thursday, March 12, 2009
TMI Weekly: For The First Time, It Really Is Too Much Information
Did you know Jill .... errrr, I mean Jackles, that famous Long Island University grad ... considers cunnilingus third base?
Now you do!
This week's TMI Weekly episode is somewhat stomach-churning. Jackles, her hooters hanging out, nonetheless boasts proudly about her prudishness and the fact that she will not have sex with a man until after 11 dates. Her two handmaidens thankfully seemed incredulous, and willing to go with the flow and judge each situation as it presents itself. No rules being followed by Megs and Rambo, and in fact Megs notes that the one time she went a long time just flirting and fooling around with a man, in the end the sex was bad anyway.
I find the whole "blow job/cunnilingus is third base" thing a bit odd. Unless you're Bill Clinton, isn't oral sex just as intimate, if not more so, than actual intercourse? Does Jill actually think she's being virtuous by letting someone go down on her but refusing to let him stick his peen in her Jackle-lantern? I mean once someone's face is in your crotch, does it not seem a bit odd to insist that no erect penis must go there?
And really, Jackles, how's this policy working out for you so far? You went out with Charles Forman for what, four months? And he Twittered and spoke publicly about the fact you wouldn't bang him. That went well past 11 dates, no? What game are you playing and how do you benefit other than eventually being dumped by a series of be-blue-balled men?
Also, imagining Jackles in any kind of sexual situation, with those grimy red-painted stripper talons and those fake eyelashes and Botox wonk 'n' wax and the pancake makeup? Shudder .........
And one other thing: I know as many longtime, happily married couples who fucked on the first date as I know divorced couples who waited for months. If you want to bang someone, Jackles, do it. It'd probably do you a lot of good to be getting laid regularly instead of pulling all-nighters Googling your name and using your collection of vibrators to get off while gazing upon your own image.