Friday, March 27, 2009

Julia: Broke, Attempting to Save Face


So, I’ve lived in my tiny “pink palace” since October of 2007, and I’m starting to think about the next steps: namely - moving somewhere where I can own, say … a couch. A girl’s gotta dream.

Things I love about my apartment:

1) It’s brand new, so it never feels dirty, even when it is.
2) It has a balcony. The balcony was under construction for the first 17 months, but it has one.
3) It has a washer/dryer, with which I am obsessed.
4) It has the biggest bathtub in the entire city of New York. The bathtub is the size of most people’s cars. It is obscene and I love it.
5) There is a gym in the basement which is small, but no one’s ever there, so I can do crazy dance moves while pretending I’m Britney Spears on tour. You know. Hypothetically.
6) The doormen are really, really nice.
7) Lilly is welcome here.
8) It’s totally silent. I never hear ANYTHING through the windows.
9) My downstairs neighbors Georgie & John are super sweet, and they love watching Lilly when I travel. I’m not a neurotic mommy because I trust them so much.
10) There is a health food store two blocks away!! I couldn’t live without them!
11) Central Park is five blocks away!
12) It’s all mine.

So … there are a lot of really great things about my apartment.

The one negative?

It’s. so. goddamn. small.

And totally awkward when people come over. It feels like they’re walking into your bedroom. Because they are.

Plus, it’s expensive. I probably shell out close to $2800 by the time all is paid for (rent, cable, electricity). That’s just … a lot.

So my longtime girl friend Judy & I are thinking of moving in together. We were 7th grade science partners, 10th grade debate partners and stayed friends over the past decade, as she accumulated degrees in various regions of the country (Johns Hopkins, London School of Economics, now Columbia Law) the way other people accumulate shoes. She’s graduating in May, and although we both live alone now, we were thinking it might be nice to see how far our respective rent budgets could get us in this new economy (yes, the rents are actually FALLING here in Manhattan). Besides, we admitted to each other … it might be nice to have someone to watch Gossip Girl with … :)

I told her that as long as she’s okay with tutus hanging from the ceiling, it’s a deal.

This is a girl who once had an apartment with a wall painted entirely orange, so I think she might be fine with it.

We probably won’t be able to move until September, realistically, unless we find subletters for both of our places, in which case we would move in May.

In the meantime … the search begins.

55 comments:

  1. I see she is taking RBNS commenter advice, as I suggested she desperately needed a roommate a few days ago (full time supervisor).

    Also, and I could be hallucinating, but isn't there a goddamn couch in the picture?

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  2. Anon 4:21 :

    I believe you are looking at the sort of wide armchair that has sofa aspirations.

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  3. So it is sort of a metaphor for JA?

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  4. I question the sanity of anyone who would consider rooming with Yoolio.

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  5. I cannot believe she is paying $2800 a month for her living expenses. That is over $33,000 a year! I live in NYC and dont pay nearly as much. Where is she getting this $$??

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  6. Oh holy crap. I can see it now. "Non-Sensical 2.0: Me and My Roomie." When do we get to vote someone off Ghoulia's Reality Island?

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  7. Is Judy the "good friend" she pushed off to be in a corner at her Birthday Bash?

    I love my friends but I'd never pay for air fare or expenses to fly across the country to accompany her on her ridiculous birthday excursion.

    Judy is simply a stepping stone for Julia. She's an average looking girl who pals around with Julia hoping that will make her cool. And Julia, being an opportunist who can't pay her own bills and that's why she has to move, will move in with her knowing that Judy will probably bend over backwards to keep her happy.

    Sorry, women like Julia don't befriend women like Judy unless they want something.

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  8. I tend to agree with Christan on this one. Also, I can't imagine Julia could bring herself to live with someone confident and successful.

    As far as $$$, Julia lost the TONY. Other journalist-commenters have said that she could not have been making much money from TONY. Whatever little bits of cash she was taking in from writing 500-1,000 word articles, she is now making doing the MSNBC bits which also pay like, what, $100 per shot? Anyone know?

    At $2,800 SOMEONE (parents, rich "muffy" grandma) was footing the bill.

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  9. I have to say, I love this site and know Judy and really like her. She's a great girl who Julia's probably going to try and live off of. I was shocked to have seen one of my friends from college in Julia's photos (at her NYC bday party in blue strapless dress I think; brown hair; hugging JA) I just think Judy is really nice and sort of does her own thing. She can definitely afford to live alone though and should! Judy, if you're reading this... LIOB and I don't think less of you for knowing you know this chick. I've wanted to ask how or why but I didn't want to insult you. Now I feel like I might have to intervene!!

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  10. The Baugher bingo card is pretty damn funny. Here's hoping for the center square.

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  11. Why does Megan Lasagna have so much trouble getting laid? It's not like there aren't guys would fuck her.

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  12. Jankles moved to Hell's Kitchen/Clinton last year while an at-large editor for Star so she could be closer to the TV studios. Her salary at that time allowed for her rent, she has been struggling since being fired from Star and now TONY. MSNBC rescinded there offer to have her on this weekend when they found out she is no longer a representative for TONY. Seems NS has nothing to offer in exchange for live broadcast endorsement. Who knew?

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  13. here is a gym in the basement which is small, but no one’s ever there, so I can do crazy dance moves while pretending I’m Britney Spears on tour. You know. Hypothetically.

    But she'll pay for a gym? Didn't she just sign up for a gym a few months ago? or did she manage to wrangle a few free months in exchange for promotion? Which, BTW, I've done and don't see anythign wrong with but she implies that she pays for all this stuff on her own when it's impossible for her to do so.

    So my longtime girl friend Judy & I are thinking of moving in together. We were 7th grade science partners, 10th grade debate partners and stayed friends over the past decade, as she accumulated degrees in various regions of the country (Johns Hopkins, London School of Economics, now Columbia Law) the way other people accumulate shoes.

    Don't worry, dear. We don't think less of you for hanging around someone who isn't a budding media personality. No need to justify the friendship. You could just say she's a really nice person. That would suffice.

    We probably won’t be able to move until September, realistically, unless we find subletters for both of our places, in which case we would move in May.

    Is this the BS excuse she's feeding her parents in order to live on her own in a ridiculously expensive apartment for a few months longer? Because, um, it's totally not true.

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  14. MSNBC rescinded there offer to have her on this weekend when they found out she is no longer a representative for TONY.

    Whoa. Is this true? How did you find that out?

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  15. anon 4:55 i'm guessing you and judy were in the same sorority? LIOB.

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  16. Julia Baugher is done. Time to move back to Chicago and find a nice dentist or something, honey.

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  17. Jules kill more than one bird with the stones:

    Get a guy rommie, friends with benefits..:)

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  18. Apparently, we, on the "hater blog", missed some wisecrack in the latest TMI according to some e-mail to Meghan:

    http://meghan.nonsociety.com/lifecast/90218617-0-10

    Anyone know WTF this is about?

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  19. ^^^ How many 'haters' can a little side of mayonnaise have? Mayonnaise does not inspire hate. Sorry, Megs.

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  20. Julia got fired from Time Out New York?

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  21. @Anon 5:31 - I have no idea. Maybe "Liz" is one of Meghan's other personalities. On second thought, she doesn't even have one personality, much less two or three.

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  22. Maybe o.5 Personality?

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  23. *Where did some of the commenters find out that MSNBC will no longer be using Yoolia now that she doesn't have the TONY title?

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  24. I think that is just the assumption b/c Melia is using the 'i wasn't fired i quit' here to vis-a-vis why she is not making the appearance.

    She was to talk about Madonna but quipped she told them 'no' b/c Madge doesn't have a Twitter.

    What a fucking tool. Can you imagine Madonna w/ a Twitter? No? I didn't think so.

    This is so an 'i was not fired i quit' move. It's like freshly cleaned glass it's so transparent.

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  25. God Megan Asha's blog is so hopeless. How can she seriously claim to be in any way technically minded?

    It's as if a high school student were given an essay for homework and they handed in a photocopy of a pizza hut flyer.

    She fails on all counts.

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  26. Looking back on the tattoo video it's painfully apparent that her braying and huffing was off putting for the tattooist.

    Surely when you're getting a permanent mark on your body you cooperate fully with the artist and not ignore him to wail and moan at a third party?

    No wonder the tattoo is illegible.

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  27. So, Adrien is now contributing to TMI. His latest facebook status:
    Adrien Field Just finished up the Carson Kressley interview for TMI. He was such a doll! Now waiting for the driver to take me to the Omni.
    And TMI Carson Kressley interview is referenced on his webpage.

    http://www.adrienfield.com/

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  28. Madonna twitters on her manager's (Guy Oseray) account every now and then. I've read that it's confirmed and legit. Julia was supposed to talk about Madonna using Twitter but first had to ask the everyone else if Madonna had an account. She could have done a 5 minute google search but, instead, she asked other (usual).

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  29. FormerGawkerEmployeeMarch 27, 2009 at 6:06 PM

    Now that I know it's Kevin Rose, the flirting and the eyelash batting and the "oh no ... what if it hurts!!" stuff is even more nauseating. Jesus, woman. No wonder no one will date you. You're like a 12-year-old around men. Do you think that's attractive to the kind of intelligent tech hipsters you want to bang?

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  30. Gwyneth's Inner AspectMarch 27, 2009 at 6:06 PM

    @Anon 5:52

    Pizza Hut flyer is brilliant.

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  31. 5:52...Mayonaise is responsible for a real snooze fest. She basically posts tech ads, cut and pasted. That's not even servicey, to use an old Denton term.

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  32. I think she should probably be a little grateful that the balcony hasn't been usable for 17 months.

    Assuming she isn't on the ground floor.

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  33. or that she has not been egged on said balcony..

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  34. Get the feeling here, while discussing her next real estate adventure, that Julia's prospective roomie just isn't *glamorous* enough for our Jankles? Why does she have to post her friend's CV for cryin' out loud? If it was just another dumb skinny photogenic heiress you could bet your bottom dollar she wouldn't bother herself to do that.

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  35. There is a very concerted effort by all three to post things like "I cannot afford this," whereas they once tried to appear flush in cash. All three have done it in the last few days.

    I am guessing their free focus group, aka RBNS, has proven to be very helpful.

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  36. Sometimes I read JA's postings and think: Poor little lamb.

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  37. I gotta say, her dog bath videos are adorable. Lily is a cutie!

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  38. julia is RUINING bon iver for me. ugh

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  39. Yeah. Lily's air swimming is really, really, really adorable.

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  40. Mary makes a jab at Julia's lateness by saying I hate being late, its so disrespectful.

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  41. julia's latest post about ijustine is hysterical.

    http://juliaallison.tumblr.com/post/90519879

    it's painfully obvious how ridiculously jealous she is of justine's career.

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  42. shit. julia just edited the justine post...WOW. the plot thickens. ijustine's video is a cute music video all about how to be a blogger. it's also sponsored by sanyo cameras and they're running a contest with ijustine where viewers can win a camera. originally julia's post only said,

    "I assume you’ve heard of Justine, a prolific (and very talented, in my opinion) video blogger. So, I’m genuinely curious. What do you think of this video specifically, or her in general?"

    but now she just added

    "Does it bug you that it’s clearly sponsored? Or does that not matter? I’m torn. I want to promote products I genuinely believe in, but this raises the whole - well, let’s just call it the McDonald’s McFlurry dilemma. I sat there wondering whether Justine actually uses/likes that camera, and even though I have no proof either way (she wrote an entire post on it here), my mind said “Of course she doesn’t.” But that’s not fair - maybe she does! Just like maybe the McDonalds McFlurry *IS* the best dessert in the history of the world. But … how can we believe them? Not to mention, it’s one thing with $3 of sugar, and quite another when you’re talking about a $200 cell phone or a $400 camera or a $1800 laptop.

    How do you maintain trust with your audience and still make a living? Hmmm."


    SO PATHETIC! if you watch the video it isn't obviously/obnoxiously sponsored. it's really cute and fun and her subsequent post about the product are very genuine and HONEST. she's trying to rip on justine because julia has been called out for her questionable promotion of sponsors and she's just plain jealous of justine's success. JULIA, ijustine is doing it right. she tried out the camera, loved it and then worked on a promotion with the company that didn't seem fake. and i bet you there will be a REAL winner of her contest unlike the "contests" NS has held. whatever happened to the t-shirt contest winner? hmm?

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  43. The thing with Justine is that she doesn't just do the video blogging to make a living, she's a freelance graphic designer, and if you have ever seen any of her behind the scenes stuff, or been in a live chat with her you can tell that she is extremely talented and knows her shit. She can tell you at a drop of a hat how she does something, and all of her stuff is done by her. She is everything Meghan is supposed to be but isn't.

    And to say things about people sponsoring her is unfair, because a lot of stuff she gets without even asking for it (especially now that reviewing products has become a huge thing on Youtube). It's so much cheaper for a company to give a product to Justine than run a marketing add on it. Companies do it for lesser known youtube people too, not just the bigger celebs. It's not just tech stuff, makeup companies have been doing it also.

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  44. Oh, rest assured, Jackles seethes with envy over iJustine. Justine is obviously genuine and is succeeding on her own merits and steam. And she obviously works. This is what Jackles forgets, you have to actually work hard!

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  45. Jeez Louise, that's a funny and self-deprecating and cool video from iJustine. Julia is capable of achieving none of that in her video posts so she has to stoop to trying to make a moral argument out of sponsorship in order to cut iJustine down.
    Um, fail.

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  46. I have to say, Mary and Meghan look really cute in their Chloe and Reese dresses from the latest TMI shoot. Julia would have looked better in a darker color maybe and with less of a wide stance:

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/90431888-0-0

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  47. Dear Julia:

    ijustine is not your competition. ijustine's audience likes and respects her, and to my knowledge, she has no websites dedicated to parsing her antics and bullshit.

    Her sponsors need not worry that their spokesperson will lose her shit in the middle of the night and go completely off the rails, and furthermore, she is younger, fresher, and more legit. They don't need reassurances about her business plan, as it was likely delivered in a non-lipdub form.

    Your competition are the guys who mark the ballfield, and they are worthy adversaries, as they know what the fuck they are doing. You could learn a thing or two about walking their straight and narrow, or, you know, showing up to a job every day.

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  48. anyone else completely turned off with the "porn on your BF's computer" crap she's been talking about? i know its probably something shes just dying for someone to bite on, so here i go!

    i remember the first (and last) time i flipped about porn on a BF's computer: i was 17 and i realized it was nothing unusual and i was actually interested in it (OH MY GOD!!!!). julia is HOW OLD, again?

    she truly lives in la-la land.

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  49. ms. bojankles, totes agree. stfu about boys/girls liking porn. nothing unusual there. as long as it is clear it's not real? no probs.

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  50. well, the fucking is real. it's just not how everybody looks/fucks. pretty simple, actually.
    ps. i am female / feminist

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  51. I hear you, SP. Many healthy, normal adults look at Internet porn. There's something for everyone!

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  52. Right. So at first the reason for moving out of the apartment is actually to have bigger space for a couch. The place is tiny! Oh, fun.

    Banging on about useless vanity amenities most people have been living without or foregoing for the sake of saving since forever ago is funny. Laundromats do exist, and what washing? With the Blair Waldorf costumes, velour suits and borrowed clothes in steady rotation?

    Was that "17" some sort of typo? Because that balcony would've been completed this month, if so and I'm pretty sure they had a pointless photo shoot on it; and bragging about a big (the size of MOST peoples CARS. wtf?) bathtub? LOL

    Is the gym in the basement where she was doing her "yoga" poses for Loeb? Interesting that now the gym is soooo so important when she just recently posted complaining about hating and having no motivation for working out. As for the dance moves, it's a good thing that gym is private - we've seen them.

    Nice attempt @ getting a pass for puppy neglect because she leaves her dog with her neighbors who ACTUALLY LOVE WATCHING LILLY, OK?! Funny though, it kind of looks more like - "Meh, I need SOMEWHERE to put the dog when I'm off attempting to legitimize my nothingness at
    conferences!"

    Health food store and Central Park? Blueprint delivers and there are no cupcakes at the health food store, and I don't think she's strolling around the park twittering or lifecasting. But sure. As for it being all hers, in that she can wallow in her loneliness alone, yes.. but it's her landlords.. and well, largely dadsers, if he's paying for it.

    But don't worry JA, you have a HUGE bathtub so just basically go in it whenever you feel cramped by your small overpriced Carrie 2.0-esque space!

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  53. Gotta love how she's now all dancing fangirl for Britney Spears!

    Wait. REWIND. Some gems from this article :
    http://newteevee.com/2007/10/15/karinas-capsule-jake-julia/


    "Julia Allison goes on cable news shows and assesses the behavior of people like Britney Spears by offering pithy diagnoses along the lines of, “Who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got the paps?” "

    I'd cut and pasted a lot of other non-Britney related stuff from the article, then realize I'd practically TAKEN the whole article. LMAO please click the link SO worth the read.

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  54. I knew I'd seen a comment someone about her talking about Britney on TV and it being hypocritical, I never saw it but ohhh Showbiz Tonight transcripts are just too too funny. Some choice quotes from different shows:

    On Britney
    JULIA ALLISON, EDITOR-AT-LARGE "STAR" MAGAZINE: No. I mean, you know, what hurts her career is when she doesn`t put out albums. But this is the woman who, if you remember, posed on the cover of "Rolling Stone" with a guy holding her breast. If he had just moved his hand a little bit. What was embarrassing was that she probably considered it performance art, and no one else did.
    Kinda like what hurt your "career" was cheesecake shots, desperation for fame, and posturing/vapidly "networking" to the detriment of your writing.

    JULIA ALLISON, "STAR MAGAZINE": It doesn`t make a lot of sense, but then again, nothing in Britney Spears` life makes sense at this point.

    ALLISON: Britney does what Britney wants to do, and if the kids fit into it, great. If they don`t, ah, she`s going to ignore them.
    Is that it, or are you projecting a childhood hurt? Further, who sees this pattern repeating itself if she were to ever (god forbid) bear children?


    On Paris Hilton
    ALLISON: Well, I think she`s just mad that she didn`t make any money off of her strip-search, you know. But I mean, for me, if I were Paris Hilton, I would be most embarrassed by my dad being aware that I had sex at one point, you know.
    Her idol! Also, does she mean like she's been trying so hard to do, carrying around and "losing" cameras, hard drives, etc? Also, nothing says you don't want your dad knowing about your sex life better than an article in a mag with your photo, huge quote about your vibrator alongside your face. Or letting on to a gossip site that a guy was allowed to get to 3rd with you in a "she she" (heh) restaurant. Funny that Paris has been making pleeenty of money "endorsing" things and slapping her name on whatever can be licensed. How's that going for you again Julia?

    On Hugh Grant's hooker mess and Liz Hurley
    ALLISON: Not just a hooker, but I`m sorry to say this, one that looks like that. I think that was probably one of the most humiliating parts of it. But here`s the thing. Unlike all of the other celebrities we`ve talked about today, this was the one blight on Hugh Grant`s perfect, flawless, delicious British Brad Pitt career. So everyone thought what? Her? Really?
    This is kind of like how humiliating it was for someone who looked like Jakob having the gall to publicly dump someone who looked like her! Wow! Also, don't think Hugh's calling, despite the fawning she looked better then but was still fully on the crazy.

    On Ashlee's SNL
    ALLISON: Really the jig is the best part of that whole thing, but Ashlee is another case where look at her entire career. Can you narrow it down to one most humiliating moment? She`s dating Pete Wenz.
    Take first sentence, replace "Ashlee" with "Julia Allison". Kill last sentence, add "she is not dating, and certainly not happily married with a child, like Ashlee Simpson." Can we also do a side-by-side comparison? Just saying, new mom Ashlee looks like THIS as of yesterday @ the Australian VMAs and is gearing up to be on the Melrose Place remake, her husband she should be humiliated by hosted and won an award (she's hosted before too). Clearly no need to map out JA's career trajectory from then to now.

    RE: David Spade
    ALLISON: I just hope the child looks like her and less like him. He`s 43, the "Playboy" bunny is 22. Eww. But yeah, I think he`s known for this kind of thing.
    Tell us that part about the Gawker pin-up photo shoot, sitting on an old guy's lap? I'm sure it was meant to be reeeeal tongue in cheek. "That kinda thing" is her future, but she might want to up the ante in years for her future hubby, she's past her expiration date and the doesn't put out like the Playboy bunnies.

    Hilarious sarcastic response from another woman in the same David Spade segment, immediately after (she's an actress and commentator)

    HAMMER: Ally Wentworth, I`ve got about 10 seconds for you. Shocked?
    WENTWORTH: Yeah.
    HAMMER: Are you?
    WENTWORTH: It`s Los Angeles. Old men impregnate "Playboy" bunnies. That`s the norm.

    On Heidi Montag, this is a goodie:
    ANDERSON: Julia Allison of "Star" magazine tells SHOWBIZ TONIGHT she can`t believe anyone could be so cavalier about surgery.

    ALLISON: Heidi is the quintessential example of what not to say about your breast implants. It is like, "At least I`ll fit in to the outfit that they put me in, in my casket."

    ALLISON: There are girls out there, teenage girls thinking, "God, I have this hot halter, too. Maybe I should go get breast implants," except they don`t have the money or the resources to fix things if they go wrong.
    Almost presented without comment, because it really speaks for itself. Actual celebrities (and Heidi Montag is one in comparison to her) don't have the benefit (neither does she, no thanks to her choice of the internet for your photo repository) scrubbing the world of their pre-surgery photos. Ashlee Simpson (ooh, full circle) wasn't cavalier about her surgery. Not like it wasn't at aaaalllll as plain as the nose on her face - that goes for both of them.

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  55. At first, I was gonna say that for once, Julia didn't piss me off with this post. She seems.. almost... genuine(?) and excited about her shoebox.

    Then I realized that I acted the same way about my crappy apartment... when I was 21. I am now 24 and I don't really blog like that anymore. Julia is TWENTY-EIGHT and she still does. That's scary.

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