Friday, March 27, 2009

<3.!.!.!.

I am stranded in a hotel lobby somewhere (no$4room) and am tired and hungry. I think the doorman is thinking poorly of me. So I needed to see my two best girls, side by side at last. 

Oh! Sigh! 

My heart swells with emotion at the sight of Faerie Queen Julia Allison and her mature-self counterpart Gangy Bluth! These are classy women, with so much in common! So kind and thoughtful towards the feelings of others. The vision before me is magickal indeed. 

This makes me want to shed tears of joy that such beauty may exist in our profane world. 

<3.


83 comments:

  1. Mary's dig at Julia:

    The one nice thing about running a company…I don’t have time to date the WRONG women.

    - Entrepreneur

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahahahhahahahhahhahahahahahhahhahahaha

    THIS IS RIGHT!

    julia reminds me of The Seaward part:

    Michael: Get rid of the Seaward.
    Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready*

    all recalled from memory.

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  3. They resemble one another on the inside and on the outside.

    So many comparisons to make here... Where to begin?

    Wonky eye, check. Plastic surgery, check. Absent minded drinking, check, check!

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  4. As a longtime lurker and first time commenter, I felt compelled to write for the first time to say: OMG NO.

    Lucille Bluth is one of the funniest characters on TV in the history of ever. Julia Allison is tragic and clearly cannot handle her alcohol like Gangy. I am personally and absurdly offended by the comparison.

    I think, if Lucille were asked who Miss. Allison was, she'd reply with something like:

    "I don't know who that is. And I don't care to find out."

    If anything, Julia is like Lindsay Bluth. Or possibly Rita.

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  5. Julia is Kitty Sanchez.

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  6. You are so correct, James - she is totes Kitty Sanchez.

    "Say good-bye to these!"

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  7. I am beginning to appreciate the new Michael McDonald poster, our guide to the glories of Julia and to the baleful glances of doormen and concierges.

    Also: "magickal"? Nice, nice touch.

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  8. Guys guys guys I'm cracking up over here. From one of Mary's recent posts:

    "You know the economy is bad when it throws LC from her thrown."

    XD

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  9. I don't get it, either. What show is this? I don't even get the Michael McDonald bit. Yes, I know he's from the Doobie Brothers but is he also really into faeries and magic?

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  10. @ 10:17 - these are all Arrested Development references. If you haven't seen the show, I strongly recommend it; it's absolutely, ridiculously hilarious. I just watched all 3 seasons for the first time this past winter. :)

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  11. I really dont get why Mary doesn't spell check or why the little red squiggly line doesnt show up. Doesn't she have a MAC?

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  12. Maybe Mary was thrown Julia thrown?

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  13. Ya, Mary does seem to believe that "throne" is spelled "thrown"; she's used it once before. Sounds like = good enough for our little Texas ranger.

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  14. This post is really lame.

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  15. Hello to all confused:

    Michael McDonald was the nickname RBNS came up with for the fauxtographer Jackles glommed onto in SF who then came to New York to take shots of her, including pictures of her in her red tutu by a sculpture covered in balloons -- another lame-ass JA vanity project. The fauxtographer looked like a down-on-his-luck Michael McDonald. While he was here, in fact, he Twittered the whole time that he had no food or money or a place to stay, but also went on and on about how beautiful and wonderful JA was.
    It seemed lost on him that she wouldn't house, feed or pay him, however.

    That is all.

    Very inside baseball, but we love it anyway!

    Thanks for joining us, Michael McDonald!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ah, how quickly we forget as the new outrages of Julia Allison World unspool! Michael McDonald = that sycophantic photographer (http://is.gd/pfKK) who latched onto Julia at the SF birthday party with RANDI ZUCKERBERG RANDI ZUCKERBERG. And who (presumably somewhat intoxicated, literally and figuratively) hopped a plane to the next night's party in NY, somehow neglecting to bring along cash or credit card that might have paid for food and hotels. He spent a delicious, delicious weekend wandering Manhattan lobbies and coffeeshops, looking for handouts from fellow Twitterites. Chaucer woulda loved this guy.

    So would whoever the hell it was who wrote The Faerie Queen, I am guessing.

    Happy sigh here.

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  17. "Looking for handouts from fellow twitterites"
    All of the homeless should be set up with twitter accounts. Cities should set up twitter consoles where the homeless can log-in to request need fulfillment.

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  18. Total Jing:

    Twitter accounts for the homeless: a Paradigm Shifter.

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  19. Also: that guy ISN'T Michael McDonald? Now I am really laughing--at myself, at him, at his new person on the site. Too funny.

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  20. That would be his new "persona" on this site. Chortling too much to type properly.

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  21. Dyspectic; remember how the real Michael McDonald considered buying a new Mac while in NYC? And, yet, somehow he only had enough money for 1 pack chewy sweet tarts (or some chewy candy he kept twitting about). Like Julia, he just did not compute.
    For some reason, Michael McDonald, aka Creepy photo man, is the funniest element of this entire Allison disaster.

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  22. LMAO I feel so demented for remembering this (assuming I even am correctly) but I think it was a NERDS ROPE hahahaha.. which I can honestly say is the most digusting thing ever.

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  23. Jing, Jacy:

    So is the fauxtographer who came to New York the real Michael McDonald (sure looks like him) or some faux Michael McDonald lookalike? I am on deadline today so I must plead for info rather than Googling up a storm.

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  24. It was Chewy Nerds. Yes, 11:41, we are both sad.

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  25. fauxtographer = some random dude, not called Michael McDonald.

    Real Michael McDonald = totally oblivious to Jackles and Krue, living comfortably off royalties somewhere.

    RBNS Michael McDonald = amalgam as far as i can tell, but who the hells knows? Perhaps a spirit from another dimension.

    i think the fauxtographer is a Marc somebody who desperately tweets Ashton Kutcher and MC Hammer.

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  26. Some Problems: Thank you. Now I can do my work without fear that I might tumble into a hole in the famous space-time continuum.

    Hey, did you hear that @SpaceTimeContinuum is on Twitter now?

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  27. I'm sorry to be a fucken stick in the mud, but I seriously find posts like this pointless. It's one thing to parse the content she/NS creates, it's entirely another to just post a pic of her and then make fun of her appearance etc. Between that and the comments being moderated, this site is putting on it's waterskis and leather jacket...getting ready to you know what. First, it's a dumb comparison bc Lucille Bluth rules and JAB does not. Second, it's just posting for posting's sake and it's dumb.

    I know, I know...if I don't like it I can gtfo. So maybe I will. But I can't be the only one who thinks this site is going downhill quickly.

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  28. William Marc Salsberry was the fauxtographer.

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  29. Jacy @10:53 -- I am sitting here on vacation about to hit the pool, and LMAO at the kitchen table while I do so.

    Whatever happened to the birthday photo shoot with the balloons? America is waiting!

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  30. 12:12

    I'm sure Jacy/RBNS/RussianGirl/Brit/McDonald are totally fine with criticism. Sadly, I'm here a lot and I've yet to notice 1 comment disappear. Again, FLAME WARS (entire threads ONLY) will be deleted and it has yet to happen. Jacy has clarified this time and time again.

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  31. Anon1212: The other day there was a plea for more contributors. Here is a new contributor. There is also the complaint that I personally am too mean and too vicious. Here is some comic relief.

    You can't please everybody!

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  32. Oh, and yes, there was also a plea from dozens and dozens to start moderating comments. And so we have, although we have barely had to kill out any.

    We just try to do as we're asked!

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  33. Jacy! You aren't too mean or too vicious!! You are just pathetic and deluded into thinking you aren't obsessed with Julia Allison. And no. This isn't Julia. Thanks for playing.


    And the comment gets deleted in...5,4,3,2...

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  34. I personally like this post solely because of the pic on the left. You can see her future in that photo - caked on tranny makeup face, wearing turbans with pink bows sewn on, swanning around tech conventions saying "I AM big. It's the INTERNET that got small."

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  35. Anon12:37: This comment is not getting deleted, hate to disappoint you. Go read the thread again, idiot.

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  36. 12:37 anon can we assume JA is up and awake now?

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  37. p.s. And actually, I am well aware I am obsessed with JA. I have been for a year or so, right about the MacBook Air scandal. I find people with multiple personality disorders extremely interesting. My line of work, in fact, requires me to work with various mentalcases and lunatics, famous ones and non-famous ones, and so it is a personal interest of mine.

    Wouldn't I have to be obsessed to be contributing to this blog?

    Carry on!

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  38. It is always hilarious when people show up to rag on people for being obsessed with JA and yet they are here every day, reading it.

    Hello?

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  39. Hee, hee, of course I admit to being obsessed with Julia Allison, whose preposterous antics and pronouncements and misadventures make for assorted chuckles throughout a busy day. For what it's worth, I used to be obsessed with the comic strip "Apartment 3G," too, for much the same reasons. But Julia & her 2 Musketeers (now down to 1, sob) are even funnier because they are kinda-sorta real.

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  40. Anon 12:12 here again. I guess that I think there's a difference between being interested in a trainwreck, and having a bizarre obsession with someone...and posts like this confirm that people here have a bizarre obsession with JA. I mean, I guess we all do on some level...but this is at the point of the scene in Mean Girls when Cady tells Janice "Have I ever told you about my theory that if you cut off all Regina's hair she'd look like a British man?". Maybe next we can push Julia in front of a bus before prom!

    But, with respect to Jacy etc, I understand that you can't please everyone...and that's fine. Just giving my two cents.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonny 1:02:

    One person's 'bizarre obsession" is another person's comic relief.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Michael McDonald is a new host? If so, why wouldn't he/she explain his post, Jacy is the translator?

    Flame wars? Really? Deleting is deleting, dress it up any way you want, but first you might want to take a look at the comments on this site when NS was in delete mode. It's actually funny to read how strongly people reacted when NS did it and then applauded this decision.

    But right, these deletions are about flame wars and sock puppets and that is so different.


    I agree with 12:12 and you will all call me SM or Julia [be careful you don't get deleted] but this shit is stupid. Whoops, forgot I was talking to team rambo, I meant stoopid.

    ReplyDelete
  43. JCSteele, do you enjoy being in the threads when wars break out between commenters about nothing that has anything to do with what's posted or even about this blog or its contributors? Because apparently about 25 regular readers couldn't stand it and asked us to deal with it.

    There has barely been any need to delete a single comment since that thread. I killed a couple out that were legally dangerous because none of us want to be sued. That's it.

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  44. One person's humorlessness is another person's funny. Que sera.

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  45. I'm looking forward to the next chapter of the sicko fanfic.

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  46. So lol or you're humorless? interesting...

    Well, this has been fun. g2g.

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  47. Que sera is French for 'what will be.' It is a wistful expression of an acceptance of difference or varied outcomes over which one has no control over. I don't think it implies a Cartesian division or binary options only. Or in a Deleuzian analysis, there is no highway.

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  48. Where are all of these newbie, wit-impotent commenters coming from?!

    It's getting annoying.

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  49. Uh, Jacy, if you actually worked with people with mental disorders, you might know that multiple personality disorder doesn't actually exist.

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  50. Anonymous 1:57 ;

    I have no idea (perhaps they are flapping out of the Pandora's Box that is Julia Allison's Brain?) but I feel a Cartesian Division coming on, followed shortly by a Paradigm Shift.

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  51. Jacy -- please explain how a comment calling out TJ for using psychological diagnostics when she is not a psychologist is legally problematic. The point was to question a legally problematic habit.

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  52. Excuse me, but newbie or not I provide invaluable and endless lols to this site. I would document them all for you, but that's private. I hope you understand.

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  53. "Deleting is deleting, dress it up any way you want, but first you might want to take a look at the comments on this site when NS was in delete mode. It's actually funny to read how strongly people reacted when NS did it and then applauded this decision."

    JC Steele -- EXACTLY. Also, Jacy? "25 COMMENTERS" reeks of "reader Melanie sent in this email at 4:30 in the morning."

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  54. So Julia suddenly wants to discuss the idea of discovering porn on a boyfriend's computer. Somehow it doesn't surprise me that Little Miss Prude herself would find the idea of men looking at porn icky and offensive. Because to JA, porn is grody; cuddling is way better!

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  55. Please. Talking about the comment dynamics on this site could not more boring. Let's change the subject to today's NonSociety Nonstarters (or Braying Broken Promises?)
    - moving to a new apartment
    - getting a personal trainer

    ALSO check out Baugher for a fantastic JAB bingo card that had me rolling.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Oh God. the Baugher Bingo card fucking rules.

    "I need you to help me do my job. Please email me."

    "Why don't you like me? E-mail me to tell me why. I am so lonely."

    "CUPCAKES!"

    please explain how a comment calling out TJ for using psychological diagnostics when she is not a psychologist is legally problematic.

    This shit is fucking annoying. It's like the 5 year old that asks "Why?" all the time. The combativeness and challenging and arguing semantics. Jesus. Go to law school if you're so into argument and debate. Comment moderation to some degree is a necessity if a blog wants to survive. This threadjacking crap and " I'm still here! I will not be ignored! I am an advocate for all those sockpuppets who have been wronged!" shit has just got to go. We tried ignoring you and clearly it doesn't work. You will not be ignored, damit!

    I have no idea what comments were killed and weren't. I hope common sense prevailed and the cocaine/drug references were killed. Those are the ones that could cause legal problems. If a comment calling out TJ was killed, well then you answered your own question why it was killed. The "calling out" comments are what disrupt the threads and lead to them spiraling into flame wars.

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  57. lmao @ the pretentious people here. JULIA ALLISON IS SERIOUS INTERNET BUSINESS. Don't disagree or more French philosphers will be cited. Oops, I mean sited. I mean, sighted. FUCK. This is stoopid.

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  58. Then go away! La dee da!

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  59. Man, that's a rough pic of Julia above. She looks a good ten years older than 28. Get some sleep and do your skin some justice already, lady.

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  60. Julia is posting so much great stuff today and yesterday. Let's parse it! First of all...

    "Jakob Lodwick 12/1 7.14 pm: let's start jakobandjulia back up
    Julia Allison 12/1 7.15 pm: Great plan! you go first."

    WTF is this?

    And the TMI episode on not being able to sleep... Julia isn't sure it turned out the way she wanted. Maybe it's because she isn't talking the whole time. And lol at knowing the only advice Julia dished out that she actually follows is that lame yoga thing because it screams of "EASY GIMMICK!" And lol at Mary falling over.

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  61. Visit Tropical Chicago!March 27, 2009 at 3:14 PM

    Julia is apparently on the hunt for a new apartment and a roommate. One option? "So my longtime girl friend Judy & I are thinking of moving in together. We were 7th grade science partners, 10th grade debate partners and stayed friends over the past decade, as she accumulated degrees in various regions of the country (Johns Hopkins, London School of Economics, now Columbia Law) "

    NO FRIEND MUST COME WITHOUT A PARAGRAPH LONG DESCRIPTOR AND MENTION OF MULTIPLE DEGREES. JULIA HANGS AROUND IMPORTANT PEOPLE, PEOPLES!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  62. The Internet Vratz Blow up JUlia Doll comes with these fake degrees:

    -MIT Astrophysics
    -MBA Harvard
    -PhD Political Science form Georgetown

    ReplyDelete
  63. Anon @ 2:11, you can count me in as a commenter who'd like to see bullshit in-fighting, pointless flames deleted.

    The difference between here and NS is that Jacy is proposing to shut down totally irrelevant nastiness between (or among) commenters, not unflattering shit about her, RG and the other mods/admins. Just look at some of the crap flung at her in this thread - it hasn't been removed.

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  64. Internet Bratz doll Parent's Downtown Chicago Condo not included.

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  65. Visit Tropical Chicago: I think you just got a square on the bingo card! : )

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  66. Internet Bratz Doll Shifting Pooper Lilly dog included with free pooper scooper

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  67. In regard to Julia's twitter: "what to do when you find porn on your bf's laptop" (lame), maybe they should take one step back and first do a segment on "what do you do when your girlfriend violates your privacy and is creepy enough to stalk your computer use".

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  68. several twitters from females commenting on JA said:

    "press plauy.."

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  69. Attacking another commenter for her line of work waded into the commenter-on-commenter wars we are trying to end.

    As do you fucking tools who keep coming on here to go after me or other commenters. Just stick to the topic at hand, thanks. You're boring everyone to tears.

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  70. I'm not the moderator. I did NOT complain to Jacy about the post which accused me of trying to be a psychologist. I thought that comment was ridonk but did not find it in the least bit offensive.

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  71. Jacy did inform by via email, because I have emailed her tips before, that she was removing it. She did it because I do hold a professional license, and several other credentials, and I believe she did it to protect me. I thank her for doing so. That's that!

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  72. My comment wasn't of the sock puppet variety. I was merely offering a suggestion as to why so many people are disagreeing with the new moderation rules. My comment was deleted.

    I see. Unless you're a part of some Heatherish clique with Jacy and Total Jing, you can't break the rules.

    ReplyDelete
  73. ^^^ Not true. I was deleted for insulting you. S00ry about that.

    :-(

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  74. FormerGawkerEmployeeMarch 27, 2009 at 6:09 PM

    Whoever the IDIOTS on here -- I suspect Allison and Miss Matched -- who will not leave this non-issue alone ... do you realize how stupid you are/appear? You have not said one thing on the entire matter that is accurate. No wonder you're fans of JA. You're brainless.

    Don't sweat it, RBNS. If you're pissing these 'tards off, you're doing something right.

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  75. I really like how any dissenting voices here are brainless, humorless, idiotic, stupid, wit-impotent, retarded, or otherwise mentally challenged. or they are Julia. I've decided that I don't want to join a club that would have me as a member, and I bid you all adieu (French for farewell, for all you retards).

    ReplyDelete
  76. FormerGawkerEmployeeMarch 27, 2009 at 6:34 PM

    Good riddance, Beavis!

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  77. Sorry to break up the comments about commenting, but just came to say to Em - Mary does not own a Mac. In fact, many of her posts have been anti Mac. However, having said that, I am sure that her Microsoft computer came equipped with spellcheck.

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  78. Wow. An anonymous malcontent (@6:25) opused out of here. (Maybe. Not like he/she/it can't just make some other anonymous posts.)

    We'll sure miss his/her/its witty contributions.

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  79. OMG where are all these dum-dum humorless posters coming from? Lucille Bluth would not be amused.

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  80. BB: Allison and Miss Matched. End of story.

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