Friday, March 6, 2009

Julia: A Promising Future as a DisneyLand Greeter

Honestly, who let Snow White into Fashion Week? How embarrassing. If someone came up to you to interview you wearing this outfit, would you not A. Run or B. Ask her when the seven dwarves were making an appearance?



p.s. Apologies all RBNS fans for the dearth of posting the last 48 hours. Sometimes, life gets in the way of snark. We promise to do better. RussianGirl has been preoccupied with a goat hoof blight problem in the suburbs of Stalingrad; I have been getting laid. I do apologize. Tell us what we've missed!

66 comments:

  1. I know I know, no body snarking, but come on people she really needs to dress better than stuffed sausage style. That shirt is way too tight.

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  2. Yeah, I don't think that's body-snarking. Look at the pull in between her boobs. This is a snark of "doesn't know what size she wears."

    Personally, I can't believe she chose that outfit for her "birthday photoshoot." She looks terrible. Why she'd want to recreate it is beyond me.

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  3. ok. can we PLEASE address julia's latest post?!?

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/84202669

    "Just filmed a show which will air for the next 3-5 YEARS. Weird thought, right?"

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  4. Internet Snark MachineMarch 6, 2009 at 6:59 PM

    Wowzers, Jabber-stocky, people on YouTube do that daily. Even Spaghetti Cat made it to E! Not impressed, you pink-dipped freakshow.

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  5. What the hell is she bragging about, re-runs? Great jumping jee-zus.

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  6. Pass the Boycott PetitionMarch 6, 2009 at 7:05 PM

    Your fucking internet shitshows will be available longer than that. What's so "weird" about it, Lady Lackbrain?

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  7. Well, it is weird that she had a thought.

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  8. Will be contacting friends at VH1 on Monday to make sure she is not in the final cut.

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  9. Rock of Hair ExtensionsMarch 6, 2009 at 7:12 PM

    MTV??! Could there possibly be a LESS age-appropriate network for Foolia?

    MTV, home of trainwreck teens and Tila Tequila.

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  10. Hasn't she been on those "I Love the '80s" or "Worst Celebrity Breakups" that VH1 runs sometimes? Perhaps that's it? Not something more permanent?

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  11. Bicurious Party HatMarch 6, 2009 at 7:15 PM

    All hail Nonny 7:09!!

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  12. She dropped the word "pilot" earlier and now she's strongly hinting that the pilot was picked up and she's filming an episode of a show that will go from 3-5 seasons. If this falls short of her hyped-up crowing (doesn't everything??), she's gonna have (even more) dookie on her face.

    Please, Karma, bring on Dookie Face!

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  13. Julia's Old NoseMarch 6, 2009 at 7:21 PM

    Are NonSociety's ads trying to tell us something? Not sure why, but I found this hilarious.

    [IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/amzko5.png[/IMG]

    Copy & paste this link if that doesn't work:
    http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=amzko5&s=5

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  14. "She's an icon" Foolia thinks they are talking about her....shhhhhhh

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  15. OMG, why would that type of ad get triggered? Could it be something in their QOD? Too funny!

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  16. Foolia is so cryptic. It is all so meta. I am completely hooked. ZOMG she has her own personal harem and a pilot. Please I cannot take all this suspense, I need a frosting IV drip STAT!

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  17. Internet Snark MachineMarch 6, 2009 at 7:32 PM

    I almost hope she gets on a show, if it means she has to give up Nonsociety. God, please let it be some type of cheesetastic, shameless famewhoring Celebreality show, where her meteoric rise to notoriety will be followed by a rapid and spectacular crash into complete oblivion. Something like the career arc of Lacey from Rock of Love would be nice.

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  18. What a crack interviewer. Love how she changes up the questions. And how she laughs hysterically at what the interviewee says even if it's not remotely funny. "Barbie is woman!" "BWAHAHAH!" Really? That funny?

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  19. Let's hope they give her a makeover.

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  20. Internet Snark Machine, great idea! But only if she has to screw Bret Michaels and then get dumped by him on TV.

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  21. iain'tdrinking the fooliakoolaid.comMarch 6, 2009 at 7:38 PM

    No reality show lasts 3-5 years. Sorry to be an unwilling particpant in the deluded shit storm that is Cupcankles "lifestream."

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  22. Why is Queen Grimhilde wearing my clothes?

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  23. I wouldn't even wear that shiteous outfit as a Halloween costume. It has zero sex appeal and I have a reputation to uphold.

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  24. I can't take that fake smile and non stop nodding she does during every interview. She is way too self conscious and fake for that medium. She's much less unlikable in print.

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  25. So she went to the Viacom building to film something for VH1, but took a picture of the MTV suite?

    Jules, sorry to break this to you, but you are way more VH1 than MTV.

    Also, about that video: Is anyone else disturbed by the way her head is constantly twitching when she agrees with what the interviewee says? She has no internal filter at all, even gesturally.

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  26. Strawberry ShortcakeMarch 6, 2009 at 7:49 PM

    I never would have considered wearing something this tacky, but since they changed my appearance, I am beginning to like it. The cat hates it, though.

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  27. Mary responded to comments I tried to post on QOD. Have to respect her for that. I wrote in to suggest that they just let QOD become a real forum, since few people answer the posted questions anyway.

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  28. Bicurious Party HatMarch 6, 2009 at 7:59 PM

    Tutus can be quite charming on adults, when worn correctly:

    http://tiny.cc/wvm1V

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  29. I preferred QOD when it was comedic performance art. The comments on there were a scream. I miss Spartacus!

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  30. Kelly, only a handful of people post answers to the QOD because only a tiny fraction of their readers are actual "fans." Any type of forum would soon be as overrun with hate, snark and goofy Craigslist postings as their old Advice Box answers are now (and as their pre-moderated QOD answers used to be), and they realize that. Far better for them to have the snark take place off-site.

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  31. Mary learned how to use photobooth! At least she seems like she's taking baby steps to being able to poke fun at herself. That's saying something.

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  32. Mary's eyeliner is fantastic, gotta admit. Her hair suits her now, too.

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  33. Foolia, the White House Summit of Young Business Leaders called, they want the time back that they spent explaining to you why you were not invited.

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  34. Internet Snark MachineMarch 6, 2009 at 8:30 PM

    I visit a wide variety of blogs on a daily basis, and they nearly all have very lively and unmoderated comments. The comments are at least half the fun. I'd say maybe .5% of the hundreds of comments on those blogs offer a complaint or a constructive criticism for the author.

    Can you imagine the amount of hate and snark that would quickly engulf Nonsociety if they opened up their individual posts to comments? Oh my god, reader Armageddon. It would be an awesome thing to behold.

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  35. She tapped a reaction to Michael Jackson going out on tour..there is no pilot as she is braying just like she did before tapping for bravo..

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  36. Looks like Foolia stopped following her bff's Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore on the twitter or maybe they blocked her?

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  37. narcissist headbandMarch 6, 2009 at 8:50 PM

    I love how that simon doonan guy is actually giving her an interesting response to her question and all she can do is nod like an idiot, bray stupidly about him being 38, and feign shock when he says he did not have barbies when he was a child. as always, it is painfully clear that she doesn't care AT ALL about what the other person is actually saying, she is too busy wondering how cute she looks or what her next stupid comment will be. ugh, i can't stand watching her. also the outfit=absolutely nuts. she needs meds.

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  38. I'm sure someone else has thought of this already, but wouldn't NonSociety be far more successful if the three witches simply made it a virulent back and forth between them and the "haters"? Sort of like Anne Coulter being a permanent blogger for HuffPo.

    As @Internet Snark Machine said at 8:30, it would be "reader armageddon" if they allowed comments on all posts, but the witches could simply make a point of trying to out-hate the commenters and I imagine thousands would tune in for the chaos.

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  39. what is up with the wonk eyes on her last few posts???

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  40. That outfit....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ck-Uo52MOg

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  41. Internet Snark MachineMarch 6, 2009 at 9:54 PM

    You're right 9:13, and thinking like that is what made Perez Hilton number one on Forbes' Web Celebs list for two years running. He's an assclown, but he's in on the joke and he's raking in money.

    Unfortunately, Jackles has convinced herself that her fans vastly outnumber her haters, and that "if only" people could get a chance to enjoy just how beautiful and special she really is, she would be crowned Pretty Pink Princess of the World by mass acclaim.

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  42. "Just filmed a show which will air for the next 3-5 YEARS. Weird thought, right?"

    It's one of those Best of shows and her "friend" John Mullaney got her the gig. Just because she was filmed doesn't mean she'll end up in the sow. I'm friends with Stephen Lynch and he's filmed those shows and never shown up in the episode that aired.

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  43. Giggly AdolescentMarch 6, 2009 at 9:59 PM

    sow = Freudian slip?

    tee hee.

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  44. Gah, I hate those Best of shows when they have non-comedians trying (and failing) to be funny. They should just let the professionals riff on things, and leave out the hypocritical comments from the likes of Tonya Harding and Julia Allison. Neither one of those famewhores is in a position to make fun of ANYTHING.

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  45. Anon 9:56, Stephen Lynch cracks me up and I'm excited that he's going to be doing a show in Atlanta on my birthday. Hey, guys, should I wear a pink tutu and a big-ass bow headband to the show??



    NO! No I shouldn't. How could you even think that???

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  46. Why on earth is she wearing that panier OUTSIDE of her clothes? She couldn't find a simple red skirt to go over it? I mean, I know her fashion sense is nonexistant but I didn't realize she couldn't tell UNDERWEAR from CLOTHING.

    God. Sorry, this is just annoying (like many things about her).

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  47. Sigh. The outfit. I mean, she knows it's lame to rip off "Carrie's" outfit from the SATC opening credits (10 years later), right? I know this isn't really a new or original comment, to be fair. But UGH. She has lost touch with reality.

    Love the Bette Davis freaky YouTube video above. Classic.

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  48. Everybody is "skirting" the issue about her new love for tu tus, sweatpants, elastic wasitband skirts and skin tight tops from Mandees.

    She doesn't have a lot of clothes that fit her anymore and she can't afford new ones.

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  49. 10:25, ding ding ding... we have a winner. Not so many pencil skirts, anymore. And that belt phase seems to have faded out as well.

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  50. That's not even a tutu- it's a petticoat.

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  51. You may hate me for this, but at the very least Mary's dumb photo booth posts were "fun" and "natural." She appeared to be having a really moment with herself. JA is all packaging and Meghan is well...I have no idea because frankly she's provided us with nothing.

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  52. Thumbs up from this peanut gallery member, Total Jing. I liked Mary's post. Natural, fun, and unplanned. We need more of that!

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  53. Internet Snark MachineMarch 6, 2009 at 11:29 PM

    Julia should have followed in Candace Bushnell's footsteps, rather than fictional Carrie Bradshaw's. The reason Candace's columns and books were successful was because she told engaging stories. All Jackles does is front, hint, imply, and insinuate. She doesn't share anything real, she only manipulates and projects a false image; therefore, how can real people possibly relate to her?

    She is frippery incarnate.

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  54. in her 8:45 photo post, JA looks like another no-talent ass clown: Stephenie Meyer. both started to get puffy when "fame" went to their heads.

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  55. Who's Stephanie Meyer?

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  56. On my way to Stone Rose to see FoxNews' Courtney Friel & some CBS gals, then a blind date at 10p. Yes, ANOTHER blind date. hahaha

    What's with all the matchmaker dates being so late?

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  57. Her dates may be blind, but they're not dumb. Why waste all that time and money on dinner?

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  58. She doesn't have enough conversation for an entire evening. Best to meet up for a night cap in a darkened bar.

    (Also, these matchmaker daters often arrange two dates for one evening, to maximize their time and effort.)

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  59. Poor Simon Doonan. The man is a witty genius and here is Toolia just pursing her lips and blinking as he speaks, not listening to a word, just waiting for her turn to talk.

    JA really reminds me of the silent film actress Mary Pickford in this video - Pickford dressed as a young girl even as an adult because that's what her public wanted, pics here:
    http://tinyurl.com/d7hnmg
    http://tinyurl.com/ced4z5
    http://tinyurl.com/bnvu7s

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  60. Internet Snark MachineMarch 7, 2009 at 1:58 AM

    Fellow bunnies, I thought you all might enjoy knowing that, thanks to your tireless efforts, we are helping to squelch the Pink Menace.

    Julia Allison: Interest Over Time
    http://google.com/insights/search/#q=julia%20allison&cmpt=q

    Bless you, Google. I have never seen a more inspiring graph. Carry on, bunnies, victory is nigh.

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  61. Hee hee, BunnyBingo, she's even got the little doggy! Those are perfect.

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  62. Anonymous CarbunkleMarch 7, 2009 at 2:13 AM

    I think Jackles stole her sausage curl hair extensions and wardrobe from Mary Pickford in photo number 2, but the hat is pure Meghan. Heh.

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  63. The survey anon 1:58 mentions links to an article about Julia published on the blog of one of Germany's big quality newspapers, 'Die Süddeutsche'.
    That's the (bad) translation of the last paragraph, if somebody is interested:

    "Whoever watches Julias livecast-project for a while starts to feel quite empty inside. Yes, she looks neat in all her dresses. Yes, her dogs are small and probably even cute. Yes, Julia seems to be sucessful with the things she does. But the more she reports about her life, the more irrelevant it appears to be. Allison defends herself and the superficiality which she is often accused of with describing herself as a tech-freak and feminist. But that's not very noticable.
    The sole fact that someone spends a lot of time on the net disclosing oneself constantly does not a geek make. And just because Allison manages it better than most women to manoevre herself into the limelight does not make her a fervid exponent of womens rights."


    Her brainless, unsubstantial blabbering about the empowerment of women while promoting cleanses and botox and high heels (because the men like them, not because she does) had always been the thing irking me most of all.

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  64. On my way to Stone Rose to see FoxNews' Courtney Friel & some CBS gals, then a blind date at 10p. Yes, ANOTHER blind date. hahaha

    And yet she still can't get on either Fox or CBS, despite the emptyheaded Courtney (so stupid, unprofessional and crass that she makes Mary look like Albert Einstein, Dorothy Parker and Edward R. Murrow, combined) hosting an inane streaming online show about pop culture and other useless crap.

    JABA the Nut later twittered that her dated is a never-married hedge fund dude who's close to 40. Guys like either expect perfection from their women (good luck with that one, Jules!) or are closet cases.

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  65. Internet Snark MachineMarch 7, 2009 at 3:09 PM

    Awesome, lizb, thanks for the translation! I wonder why she didn't link THAT article, heh.

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