Monday, March 16, 2009

Julia: Enough With The Oprah Stuff

Jesus, woman. You are delusional and awful.

And can anyone figure out what this guy's "coitus with Kevin Rose" lead even means? What is he on about? Is he making reference to Jackles's veiled threat to bed Rose on the TMI Weekly sexytimes video? What the hell is he talking about?

I feel sorry for Kevin Rose getting dragged into this fame vampire's bloodsucking fame fantasy when he clearly wants nothing to do with her.


  1. the only thing missing is The. Finger. Snapping.
    A very revealing interview, in many ways and deeply unflattering. She is teh craz-ee.

  2. LOL@

    good one, JBA!

  3. Julia: No, I don't. That's a common misconception... I don't think all press is good press.

    Correct me if I;pm wrong, but didn't she say the exact opposite thing in either the Mediabistro interview or in that Gawker piece about How to Be Your Own Publicist or something like that?

  4. On reading that interview I have to conclude that Toolia is not only heartless but she is definitely a little nuts.
    Oprah is a trained journalist who worked her ass off to get where she's at. More importantly, a lot of people genuinely LIKE Oprah. That's where her popularity comes from.

    Toolia is just not likeable. She comes across as a total exploiter of people and relationships. Who is going to buy "Toolia - the magazine" or watch "Toolia - the TV show"?
    No-one I can think of.

  5. Omg. That interview is hilarious.

    "I have loved being a dating columnist, but Carrie Bradshaw 2.0 is played out."
    No Julia, you drove that job into the ground with your irrevelance and stupid stunts.

    "We didn't even go on 11 dates." Who the eff says that? Right. JABa, code for another short-term boyfriend, no sex. You dodged a bullet there Mr. Digg. Thing is, you don't even have to be that involved with her to be stalked for life.

    Exaggerates NS stats by 10 times! In other words, as much as she likes to brag about being a "founder", she doesn't know what the eff is going on and looks like an idiot and/or a liar.

    In summary, vom.

  6. LIU "Fast-Track MBA" FTW!!!March 16, 2009 at 7:38 PM

    JBA: When people ask you how you did it, how did you do it?

    Julia: I don't follow rules. I think you just have to be persistent.

    JBA: What about the personal life stuff?

    Julia: What, like fucking my way to the middle? Yeah, I didn't do that.

    JBA: What about Kevin Rose and

    Huh. That's funny, Jackles. He didn't say anything about 'fucking' your way to anywhere. Why would you assume that's what he meant? The lady doth protest too much.

  7. "Kevin hasn't helped shit. Ugh, please."

    He doesn't even put his dirty socks in hamper in the dreamhouse they live in together. In her delusional dream.

  8. Was this the first confirmation of time out being over for her? I think you called that one Cristan.


  9. JBA: How does the Julia Allison brand generate or try to generate revenue?

    Julia: Oh, that's a good question.

    JBA: It should be a good question.

    Julia: I have started to do a lot of public speaking. I've spoken to all the senior execs at A&E, and the top three hundred marketing execs at Unilever.

    That doesn't answer the fucking question! She is asked this at least twice in the article. How does she actually MAKE MONEY? I will always believe she lives off Daddy's dime.

  10. Kevin Rose's Dirty SocksMarch 16, 2009 at 7:43 PM

    Heh. Once again, Julia the Fraud makes the firing from her latest gig sound like HER idea. Too funny. What a delusional hypocrite.

  11. zappos sucks dot comMarch 16, 2009 at 7:46 PM

    Sorry to cross post but... Care to tell Zappos what you think of their association with the Toxic One?

    Commenting is easy! (just make up an email and user name - comments posted immediately)

    Everyone can play!

  12. "What we did for Kodak, we went to Vegas for the consumer electronics show, and instead of just being like "Hey, there are some great Kodak cameras here," we used them, we lifecasted from the Kodak booth, and we approached it from a ten-prong approach."

    Ten prongs...whatevs...

  13. "... we approached it from a ten-prong approach."
    Dear Julia Allison Baugher. STFU. Kthxbai.

  14. I'm a brand blah blah blah. I'm going to make a lot of money by selling my brand blah blah blah. I want a man blah blah blah.

    Honestly, when I read this shit it is painfully obvious that Julia read some stupid Seth Godin or Malcolm Gladwell book and jumped right into the bullshit. Well, fuck that. I take a gazillion-prong approach to everything I do, so deez nuts.

  15. i wonder if her first post back in NY will be
    "i am so very happy and grateful" or "my life is just so hard and i am really really tired right now"

  16. Mr. Abelson appears to be almost as delusional as ol' Jackles. Note his closing comments on her "intoxicating, infectious charm." Abelson is perhaps 1) doing irony--a tactic never employed by primary processor Foolia, 2) reacting to the blowjob he'a about to receive, or 3) dumb as fuck and easily taken in by a charlatan with cleavage. Or . . . all of the above!

  17. Ugh. I just love how she insinuates how she has been hanging out with Rose's exes and having "lots of girl talk" with a fucking ;) winky face.


    Jankles is worse than an immature jaded, psycho junior high school girl. And wait! She still dresses like one, too! WHY has your fashion sense not evolved since jr high, bunnykins?

    PS- her face looks bloated and sickly in that Zappos video. And she's wearing a TENT of a dress designed to hide those thighs... very muu-muu style. Poor cupcakins, is inhaling all those sugars getting to you? aww.

  18. JAB's TAT RAN AWAY IN THE NIGHTMarch 16, 2009 at 8:21 PM

    While musing over the shocking image of a "ten-pronged" fork, I idly wondered, 'Who would have a mouth big enough for a fork of that size?

    Oh...uh, never mind.

  19. I'd like to see a normal, self-assured female interviewer interview her for once. Clearly these people saying she's intoxicating and charming do not have a clear image of her for a variety of reasons. As others have said these men who are "intoxicated" by her make up a large part of her fanbase and networking contacts.

    Women who want to be like her and men who want to be with her pretty much sums up the only two groups who have any affinity for the woman. Everyone else who actually judges her by what she puts out into the world knows better than to be "intoxicated."

    Her fake "charm" is beyond transparent but I guess it works for a reason. Some people are so desperate they actually fall for it, sometimes even despite their best intentions.

  20. julia,
    nice stripper shoes. they go nicely with the roller-paint make up job, the nasty hair extensions and the LIU Jill tattoo. good thing you don't drink or go beyond sloppy third base, or someone might get the wrong idea. classy.

  21. Julia: Do I think stratetgic [sic] partnerships can help you? Yes, absolutely. I know Kevin Rose, I didn't even go on eleven dates with him, we don't even really know each other that well. He would have been my type if he weren't a celebrity in his own right. It was a strategic partnership.

    What a stupid, trashy pig! This is pathetic.

    So her dating life is all about strategic partnerships is it? No wonder she doesn't fuck.

    What a dumb, horrid fool this woman is.

  22. the shoes plus fred flintstones feet = cow dung.

  23. JBA: So how are you going to make money in the next five years?

    Julia: Hopefully we'll sell -- well, "we" meaning myself and I and Lilly [her dog] over there -- we'll sell a book, we'll sell a company, we'll sell a television show, and we'll sell a screenplay. That's the goal.

    Notice, none of the above have to do with "creating anything." Because, you see, to "write" a book or a screenplay would require work on her part. One of the most irritating things is that she probably can scam her way into at least a book deal.

    I'm interested to see how this "unfolds," as Jackles' grandmother would say.

  24. Christan: yes, she did say the exact opposite thing in many interviews.

  25. Ineff & Jack the Bulldog: That's what killed me. At the end of every damn article written about her, there's always this freegin' ass-kissing BS. Who does she intoxicate!? Yes, a real 'journalist' needs to sit that girl down, talk and then go home and write up the reality.

    Pisses me off. She always gets off in the end. I do think she has peaked, however. I don't feel comfortable commenting on her looks, but her career is so inextricably linked to them that once they 'fail', so will she.


  26. I'd like to see Julia interviewed by Heather Gold, one on one. She'd be crying halfway through the second question.

  27. I like how the emphasis is on selling: selling her book; her screenplay (?! barfs!); and her brand, ultimately.

    I believe it is the creation that matters (as someone has said above). And as an artist, I could never focus on the finished product and its subsequent sale. It's the process of creating something. Her goals are all so superficial. She's so concerned with products, the end result...honestly, all it means to me is that she is so desperate for fame. Fame is what people chase when they don't give a sh-t about the process and creativity it entails.

    She doesn't want Oprah's career; she wants Oprah's fame/reputation/power.

    You can see this desperation/neurosis in some videos of hers (the new TechConfessions Cab one comes freshly to mind). She seems so "what could I be doing right now that's better than this?" "I need to go and be at that party and not here". "What am I missing right now?" "What is this cab ride taking me from?" and, of course, "What can I get out of this?" No wonder she cannot sleep.

    Oh, you're so sad, Julia! Just wake the fu-k up and go hang out in D.C. with your only true friend! You know, the one who is something real, will you?


  28. Julia's Old NoseMarch 16, 2009 at 9:00 PM

    Who knew this was going to be such a big news day in Julia Fantasy Land? Maybe Oprah will cover it on "Fridays Live" show with Gayle and Mark Consuelos. Setting the DVR right now.

  29. It used to be said that you knew you made it tech if you had a high Winer number( Dave Winer) now that has been replaced by high Jackles Stalking Number

  30. JBA is certainly smitten with the thought of his alluded to BJ.

    "EMbrace for Impact".


    Did you not mean BRACE for impact?

    The impact you think this make-up troweled loser is going to make on the what?

    Scene? Pop culture landscape? On line Video future?

    Why should we BRACE for what is merely a stench?

    On second thought....

  31. JA's Nappy WeaveMarch 16, 2009 at 9:27 PM

    You also can and should email Zappos here on your thoughts about their affiliation with JAB:

  32. Funny Bunny

    "She doesn't want Oprah's career; she wants Oprah's fame/reputation/power."

    So right. I think it's okay to be concerned with an end product but I don't think she is even focused on that. She is as you said worried about one thing, what she can get out of things.

    What's always been missing from the Julia Allison (and now Nonsociety) model is the emphasis on putting something of *value* into the world.

    That is where I believe she falls flat. She tries to follow the message of these tech/marketing gurus but somehow always seems to miss the part where a business or indiviual first and foremost focuses on the needs of the community and/or customer and works to offer something of value to them.

    That's why they are the most despised company on the web, and off too probably. They think they have the "trust" of readers and viewers and can jump right into the sales and profit part when in reality they have no product other than the sales part. She is sort of like the business version of a sociopath.

  33. Viewing relationships as "strategic partnerships" is the definition of gold digging. JA has dated a lot of guys, and every single one has been relatively wealthy. There's no nice teacher or nice musician in her past. Despite this, she still considers herself a feminist!

  34. Anon 9:43

    Not just wealthy but connected and well known. That's why all the name dropping all the time. I think what she looks for in a guy is the name dropping value and connections she gets out of the "partnership."

    Look at how much mileage she gets still gets out of a few months of dating Jakob Lodwick more than a year ago. Every chance she gets she talks about "I had this site with my ex. Jakob. Jakob Lodwick. You know, he founded Vimeo? And College Humor. He also knows Ricky Van Veen and..." She can't just say my ex and leave it that like most normal people, if it even needs to be mentioned at all.

    And I thought she went out with Kevin Rose like one time. Even it is was a handful of times how exactly is that a strategic partnership? I can only imagine what he might be thinking about that bizarre comment.

  35. She will NEVER be like Oprah, because becoming something that large requires actual, hard work. Imagine, for a moment, if Oprah was as big of a lazy, user and abuser as Jankles.

    "hey guys! i need some good ideas for my next book club!!!! email me, bunnies!!!! XOXO!!"

    "hi viewers!! WHAT SHOULD I DO FOR MY NEXT SHOW??? SEND ME YOUR STORIES!!!! Kisses, bunnies!!!!"

    "OMG, SO HAPPY, Dr. Phil is coming on next week! WHAT SHOULD I ASK HIM? YOU TELL ME, BUNNIES! I have no individual thoughts and am too lazy to do any research or groundwork. THANKS, BUNNIES!!"

    "OMG, So. freaking. happy right now, Gayle just munched my rug. like, what a paradigm shifter."

  36. She's enchantingly engaging, addictive to speak to, and a master at controlling the message she wants to convey (i.e., her brand).

    Obvs, this jackhole never read RBNS, Baugher, Trainwrecks, etc. (or NS, for that matter -- her bullshit Kodak claims could have been so easily debunked.) Piss-poor effort, HuffPo. You fail.

  37. Julia has only two types of fans:
    1. Sycophantic male creeps like this interviewer above
    2. Silly young girls who don't know any better (see: former interns)

    She doesn't have a single true friend from her own age or peer group, beyond her "strategic partnerships" with people like Randi Suckerberg or Shira Fleiss.

    Lonely, old and busted with a career she ruined all by herself. Yep... marriage (and money and support) is the best thing that Julia could hope for.

  38. Julia inadvertently admits WHY she's a huge failure and will continue to be a huge failure in that interview. She only wants to SELL her book, or brand or whatever but she fails to see that you have to HAVE something of VALUE to sell in the first place. Go back to your marketing 101 class at Indiana University Julia Baugher... clearly you are a fraud and know nothing about basic principles of entrepreneurship.

  39. Hey, where is this Kevin Rose stuff? It's not in the Huff Po piece. At least not now...

  40. If anyone pulled strings to get the Kevin Rose stuff edited out, it was probably Kevin Rose, not Julia. But either way, it sucks. Especially because the author didn't even acknowledge it. I am not registered at Huff Po but if anyone here is, they need to bring it up in the article's comments section. So shady.

  41. it's easy to register at HuffPo. I just did. They don't ask much. I think it's worth having several people post comments, even if they don't get approved. I think it's an ethical breach on their part that goes beyond Julia Allison. It's just not cool to re-write the past. As trivial as it seems in this case.

  42. OK, I just registered and left a comment questioning the omission. I didn't comment on the horrible tone and quality of the article in general because I hope that Huff Poo addresses the omission. If not - bad move on their part.

  43. The Rose quotes weren't accurate, that's why they pulled them. I just emailed with an editor over there, and when they checked the interviewer's tape on it, they found she didn't say that. She did say, "I barely even know Kevin Rose." The interviewer apparently thought he could drive page views. I dislike Jill as much as the rest, but it's not fair to misquote the girl. She said enough other stuff.

  44. nice work 1055. Thanks

  45. How embarrassing all this must for Kevin Rose. The creepy stalking of exes, the pathetic twitters... ewwww. Julia is like the female version of her slimy male fans like this reporter, the Fauxtographer, etc. No wonder they get along.