Sunday, March 8, 2009

Julia: Starting Up Her Own Caption Contest



Caption Contest #2! During 1st segment on MSNBC, about "Celebrities on Twitter." I look almost reverential. O ...



Caption Contest! During the 2nd MSNBC Twitter segment today.




Caption contest, you propose? OK, I'll start. It's odd, but the same caption seems to work so perfectly with both shots, as different as they each may be.

"Hi America! I'm fucking crazy!"

51 comments:

  1. "The cupcake was THIS big!"

    Is that the Davos suit again? Too. Much. Makeup.

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  2. Michael Jackson is going on tour! And I am his doppelganger!

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  3. Damnit, Dadaism, you were too fast for me. My suggestion would have been:

    Channeling Michael Jackson.

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  4. So...she didn't use NonSociety/YMI Weekly as her place of employment? She used Time Out NY?

    INTERESTING.

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  5. And then I woke up one day and I was the MIDDLE AGE!

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  6. hahaha, Russian Girl, keep them coming!

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  7. #1: "Hold on, I'm receiving a twitter from God."

    (Can't really beat BunnyBingo - that was genius.)

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  8. Christan,

    No, she used both NS & TONY (see captures on NS site).

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  9. @ 7:44 - Baugher posted a great side-by-side here:

    http://baugher.tumblr.com/post/45368754

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  10. CELEBRITIES ON TWITTER: A counterexample.

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  11. #2: "Auditioning for QVC"

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  12. #1: "Oooh! Is that Meghan's plane I hear flying away?"

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  13. Dadaism,

    So, JA's the one on the left? Confused.

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  14. Bicurious Party HatMarch 8, 2009 at 7:55 PM

    #2 I just wanna grab Ben Levanthal's butt and take a big ol' bite out of it.

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  15. 1.I. Am So very very Happy. Right Now , and grateful.

    2.oh wow . Blerg. I am tipsy but i never drink.

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  16. This attempt at being an "expert" on all things tech, combined with her "one year ago today I was making intelligent commentary about media and the internet" post reminds of a great quote by Dorothy Parker:

    "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

    She postures, she pouts but she doesn't actually say anything. She has no insight, no wisdom to offer. How does she expect to be a writer or media commenter without these very essential ingredients?

    Dumbass.

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  17. #2: "So, in a recession, I find that if you bake a dog about this big, the meat will last about a week."

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  18. Internet Snark MachineMarch 8, 2009 at 8:04 PM

    Britney, the Kutchers, and MC Hammer. Yeah, that's a tidal wave--nay, a tsunami--of "big name celebrities" all right.

    I thought being overly impressed with Hollywood went out with 2008, Jankles, you pop culture dodo bird.

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  19. Did anybody watch this travesty? I'm curious about how many of her own personal anecdotes she managed to interject.

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  20. #2: "And this is my 'So you DID mind that I exposed you as bipolar on the internet, huh?'-move".

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  21. #1 "Yep, I pretty much have no reason to be here!"

    #2 "Is that my appearance fee check!? Now I can go buy a new suit at Filene's Basement"

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  22. Okay, I snorted when I read, "...Now I can go buy a new suit at Filene's Basement"
    What's with that suit she wore? It looks like that wierd knit fabric they used on couches in the 80s.

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  23. Anon @ 8:09, I started to watch her early appearance, but her mannerisms and voice were so distracting that I couldn't finish.

    I can only shudder to imagine what it must be like to have to deal with her in person and not be able to run away screaming.

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  24. I have a caption for both:

    Micofameout Julia Allison basks in the thought that she is a "big name celebrity" (fig. 1) until she quickly realizes she is a columnist for a regional magazine that no one gives a shit about (fig. 2).

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  25. "being knowledgable - u r doin' it wrong"

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  26. "If Delta Burke can make it, so can I!"

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  27. "Shit! What did that article say!?"

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  28. Hi Bunnies, I'm Snow White and I'm fucking Goofy.

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  29. I'm going on a cupcake binge so my thighs can get thissssssss big!

    Brought to you by Tampax.

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  30. We know poofy lurves Diane von Furstenberg ... but will she follow her fashion icon's lead and don fishnets & blonde wigs?

    http://www.purple.fr/fashion.php?c=11

    *shudder*

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  31. Didn't Jules used to live across the hall from Rosie O'Donnell and beg her to be friends or something to that tune? Anyone notice that, in the second pic, she looks a lot like Rosie? I think its the jowls.

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  32. those lips. those poofy, injected lips.

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  33. I still like Jowl-ia for a nickname. Don't know why it never caught on...

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  34. Caption

    I thought I taw a a Pink Tutu

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  35. narcissist headbandMarch 8, 2009 at 10:41 PM

    Anon 7:58, you're spot on. This is what has always irritated me the most about JAB...there is no substance. No insight, no wit, no humor, no wisdom.

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  36. She looks like a gay TV preacher's wife.

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  37. Caption

    Zygotes, who knew?

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  38. I'm sorry, but that suit cut is just way too low. She looks like a two-bit whore. Poofy, if you had any SUBSTANCE to offer, you wouldn't have to look so trashy and cheap.

    Troweled on makeup + shelving the titties out to here = desperation.

    She is really so pathetic.

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  39. Love that even though she probably chose the MOST flattering screen shots available, she still has a major double chin going on there. Lolz.

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  40. Isn't that the suit she wore to Fashion Week with her Mom? Poofy, you have one more wearing of that elastic waistband skirt. Then you must burn it! You're a media celebrity! You know the rules. No showing up anywhere in the same outfit more than three times!

    Her makeup is atrocious. Is that frosted eyeshadow? Was she going to her prom?

    Her face looks fat and bloated.

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  41. Anonymous 8:02 said...

    #2: "So, in a recession, I find that if you bake a dog about this big, the meat will last about a week."


    I bow down to you, doubled over laughing.

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  42. my grandmothers neck looks younger than hers


    my grandma is in her 70's

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  43. Bicurious Party HatMarch 9, 2009 at 4:04 AM

    #1: Old school twitter: She's doing an imitation of a bird, flapping her "wings" and literally saying, "tweet tweet!"

    #2: Today's twitter: She's demonstrating how she sometimes has to blow the smoke off her thumbs after a late-night, rapid-fire twitter session.

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  44. while Amercian Financial Makets Crashed..Julia who puts the A-hole in Allison twitted

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  45. After a year of sitting in my apartment feeding cupcakes to my internet addiction, my ass is THIS big. Before that , it was only THIS big.

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  46. How does Julia Allison get away with still using Time Out New York on her banner? She hasn't written for them in over a month!

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  47. She convinces them that her going on TV and being a talking head will bring them publicity. TONY only keeps her on because they aren't embarrassed by her antics. They can't be, as they don't have any stellar reputation to lose, and they're really next on the list of pubs to go under.. so why not? I'm sure they gave her a pay cut and she's staying on in spite of that, so they probably don't care. If someone who was like Julia except more self-aware and less cringingly embarrassing came along and they could afford her, I'm sure she'd be replaced in a nano.

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  48. Oh, and she could never (read: not big enough) go on national television representing JUST nonsociety. Largely due to its being uh, a nonentity.

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  49. I can't be the only one struck/amused by the irony that part of the conceit of NonSociety is that each girl has a different specialist subject, and yet when a TV show needs a pundit to explain what Twitter's all about, it's the dating blogger, not the technology blogger, who does it. Not that one is necessarily more informed than the other, really, but I can't help but think "power struggle."

    I guess their explanation would be that the segment was more about celebrities using Twitter rather than the technology itself? In which case I'm guessing that doing exactly what she was doing for Star (but presumably for less money) isn't what Julia was hoping for when she launched her site.

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  50. Anon 11:51, the tech blogger can't do the television appearance because Daddy sent his private plan to whisk her away from all the internet "noise." Duhhhhh. Meghan, the tech blogger, is in California.

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