Date: March 17, 2009 12:57:20 PM EDT
To: [redacted website which just isn’t that into me]
I’m not sure what the proper protocol is for inviting people who despise me out to coffee (although I’m sure you’ll let me know if there is, in fact, a precedent in this situation). It’s a bit awkward, but I’ll be very honest: I think it’s time to meet.
It’s clear that there are more than a few misconceptions about me - a divide between who I am and what I project - and, frankly, I’d like your advice. Why is it you hate me so much?
Maybe this is a stupid idea, but I figure it can’t be worse than what you already think about me, right?
I’ll answer any question you have, and you can make your own - IRL! I just used that acronym and I sort of hate myself for it! - impressions.
Now, given, I don’t know where you live, and perhaps you don’t want to meet me. But perhaps one of your readers/commenters does. And then they could tell all of you exactly how fat/bloated/botoxed I am, really.
So - if you’ll extend this invitation to your readers, I would be much obliged.
I will buy anyone who has the balls to meet me in person in New York at least two beverages of their choice. Coffee, wine, tequila … blueprint cleanse? Blueprint cleanse with vodka? Whatever you want.
I only ask one thing: you give me a chance.
founder // nonsociety.com
Oh Jackles. Remember you tried this on Gawker? That was when you outed [REDACTED]'s mental health issues.
We are all over the place, in many different cities and countries. I am not sure Russian Girl can afford the airfare from Omsk.
But really? You want to have a hearing with us? Just go into our comments section. We'd all be happy to hear from you and to run down for you in great detail all the many hundreds of ways in which you -- just you, not the Internet, not Gawker, not [REDACTED] or [REDACTED] or [REDACTED] -- are doing everything wrong and have all by yourself, with no help from anyone, made yourself one of the most unlikeable Web personalities in existence.