Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Girls: One of Them Is Rapidlyaging.com


Some tips for our gals.

Rambo: Two words. Deep conditioning.

Megs: Show off your body more, like you did in this outfit. You have a lovely body. Stop wearing the tent shirts and dresses. And oh yeah, stop making such goofy faces all the time. You're not Jim Carrey.

Jackles: HolyShit.com. Get a sleeping prescription ASAP and lay off whatever you're injecting into your face. What the hell is going on? Are you suffering from that early-aging disease? I repeat: HolyShit.com. Get some goddamned sleep and some exercise and start eating solid healthy foods, not cupcakes washed down with Swiss chard nectar. And lose the Morticia hairdo while you're at it. The teasing/bobby pins/mullet atrocity you've got going on there makes you look like the fourth runner-up in the 1974 Miss Oklahoma pageant who's now slinging hash at a roadside diner and eager to get out a bit early so she can race to the Bingo hall. You have GOT to be kidding me. "Bingo!!!!"

56 comments:

  1. Julia is the reverse of the actor "Josh Ryan Evans," [RIP, the "boy man" actor on Passions]. Jacy, you hit the nail on the head with "earlyaging."

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  2. It's so nice of those two lovely girls to bring their stepmom on set, she must be so proud!

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  3. Jacy, I couldn't even read past "swiss chard nectar" -- hysterical! Couldn't take more than that day or two of vacation without you!!

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  4. Dear The Gawker, Thank you for calling me "The Greatest!" (http://tinyurl.com/cmul22) It shall be added to my venerable bio. Love, The JA.
    9 minutes ago from web

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  5. Ok, in that famous picture that's on the Gawker link, is she bending forward or is that just way her body looks?

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  6. Well, whatever it is, anon 8:21, it's not how she looks now...

    Julia, get off the net and rest! think! And job a bit, will you!? It's good for you!!!

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  7. ^Jog a bit...

    Well, job it too...in an abstract sense...you know, work hard at something.

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  8. ^ayaya! That was me, "op"!

    Yes, it stands for Ocean Pacific, ok?!

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  9. TJ: I know you have degrees in everything and experience in even more than everything, but what do you do for a living?

    Thanks!

    xoxo

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  10. D.C.: Don't be a tool. What is the point?

    Also, "job a bit" was a nice typo, op. That's actually exactly what she needs. A daily, 9-5 job. It would put a lot of shit in perspective for her, would help her focus on something other than herself, and would probably straighten out her crazy sleeping/eating habits.

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  11. Yeah, Jacy! I mean, if there's one thing I take from her lifecast-window-into-JA, it's that she avoids working at all costs! I mean, I'm not one to say higher degrees are what make someone "better", but she holds people with such degrees in high regards (because of their output, mainly...I'm thinking of those schmucks who write the books she reads). Therefore, I think to myself, she rides on her undergrad degree very heavily (she mentions it all the time), but I think her 'career' shows that she avoids going back to school at all costs -- she doesn't want to work that hard! I think she is trying so desperately to make something of herself without putting in the effort! I guess that's what I am trying to say...I use "more education" only as an example. Nonetheless, she shows no effort of 'research' or even reading (non-airport books) at all! She just wants to mooch off of the current situation of our sad world (where Paris Hilton can make it on nothing but peroxide)-- instead of trying to change it!

    Julia, for this, I HATE you.

    'nuff said.
    op

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  12. Lucinda hates JuliasApril 9, 2009 at 9:20 PM

    In addition to op's thoughts, I hate her because she says she knows about feminism. If she only knew about feminism, then she wouldn't act the way she does. She is playing the man's game in getting ahead. Meaning, she behaves in ways that are acceptable to men in order to make a name for herself -- but not to challenge anything on her way "up" (OK, or down). Condom (Gawker pic) outfit included. Feminism is about hierarchies, JA. Between men, women, and in between. And I hate her for playing into what has been constructed as "a man's world".
    First time commenter. Although, I'm in Cali with op...!

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  13. Anon 8:08: Gee thanks! Much appreciated!

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  14. No, seriously, TJ is king of the commenters! Bravo! Or is it brava?
    Curious what you do, TJ. No snark.

    Thanks!

    xoxo

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  15. narcissist headbandApril 9, 2009 at 9:46 PM

    Lucinda hates Julias, thank-you for expressing something that I have been feeling in such a concise way. I despise girls like this who, as you say, "play the man's game" and then claim to be feminists.
    And in the above pic, Julia really does look like Lucille Bluth, as I believe one of the contributors pointed out a few weeks ago.
    Also, another thing that annoys me about her, totally off-topic: the "wheels-up" and "wheels-down" bullshit she tweets every time she takes a trip. She got this from frigging West Wing...yes, that's right, the expression that the White House staff used to describe the whereabouts of POTUS on Air Force 1. Good enough for POTUS, def. good enough for JAB!!!

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  16. 9:30. I do a variety of things. I'm currently ending a teaching job in June, and beginning some professional training in a related but new field. I work 40 hours per week at one job, and do contract work on the side. I don't care to disclose more details than that.

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  17. Julia is POTUS all right: President of That Unbearable Site.

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  18. 10:02

    I don't work in that field right now in a full time capacity. I do have an MSW. I don't beleive that I've "announced" that in over a week but if you say twice a thread why not say 1,000,000 a thread! I hated being a full time social worker but it was enlightening experience.

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  19. Julia looks like she just had her wisdom teeth removed.

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  20. TJ is a rogue agent for the Counter Idiot Agency (CIA). Her cover is that of an educator, but her real mission is to overthrow the POTUS. Once the coup is complete, Partypants will sign National Blog Action Memorandum (NBAM) 263 withdrawing all cupcakes and tutus from Indochina.

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  21. 10:10

    I may be able to diagnose complicated personality disorders but I'm not sure I can follow your rather hysterical comment.

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  22. OK look fuckhead Anons. Do I have to start deleting comments because you have chosen to threadjack in order to attack a regular commenter for some stupid-ass reason that has nothing to do with the subject at hand?

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  23. Just for full clarity and disclosure: I deleted a bunch of comments in this thread because some anonymous asshole was attacking another commenter for no reason at all.

    And I will do it again. You want to attack me, go right the fuck ahead. But I am not allowing threads to turn into pissy high school fights initiated by childish anonymous dickheads who only show up to cause trouble and contribute nothing to the conversation at hand.

    Five ... four ... three ... two ... one ....

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  24. Sigh. Is that the countdown until this site's only readers are Total Jing, partypants, and SomeProblems?

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  25. Jay...cee! As we say in Tejas, you tell 'em how the cow ate the cabbage.

    I'm pretty sure Russian Girl has a version of that aphorism, too.

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  26. Anonny 10:30

    sigh away. All you have to do is count the comments to figure out whether this site has any readers. Assuming you can count, that is.

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  27. No, assnugget, it's the countdown that will be resurrected every time some anonymous dickwad decides he/she is going to attack a commenter without basis, and divert the conversation away from what we are all here to discuss.

    Thousands of people visit this site every day. We won't miss a couple of douchebags, trust.

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  28. That's not thousands of readers, that's just five people hitting refresh a lot.

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  29. Oh lord, she is now in a church. If you can't win on merit or standing, go right to god.

    "Are you there God? It's me, Julia"

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  30. Also Anon 10:30, SomeProblems was just deleted (again I might add) for contributing to the problem here. So one must do away with the delusion that so-called favorites are being played w/r/t to the deletions because that is not the case.

    Some things just are not productive and i certainly include myself in that.

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  31. OMG 10:38 you're boring me to tears.

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  32. And I was deleted as well for contributing.

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  33. I think you should delete more of TJ's reasoned responses... they are way confusing without context.

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  34. I am soooo bored of the commenter-on-commenter hate.

    If you're reading this, we are both on this site... If we are both on this site, there is no moral authority amongst us. I do not have less or more of a life than you.

    Everyone needs to calm down. This is a fun diversion.

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  35. Not-so-amazing WOOF!April 9, 2009 at 11:13 PM

    I think it is absolutely DISGUSTING to bring a dog into church. Under what circumstances is this defendable?!

    Julia's response would be something along the lines of: "Dog is God backwards. I WENT TO GEORGETOWN, you plebeian!"

    SO inappropriate and self-entitled.

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  36. Deleting comments is despicable and obnoxious. So, commenters hate on each other - so what? Jacy get the fuck off your high horse.

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  37. "Okay, okay, I know that logically the model in this ad probably isn’t happier than you or me …" Says Julia about a perfume commercial.

    Actually - she probably is happier than you. You're fucking miserable.

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  38. FormerGawkerEmployeeApril 9, 2009 at 11:54 PM

    As per our conversation, Haloscan is very handy, isn't it, J? I know you know who it is. Oh boyyy ... someone has some real "issues."

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  39. Can someone unwink FormerGawkerEmployee's comment for me? I'm in the dark :(

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  40. I believe they are trying to be insider-y and vaguely menacing.

    They've begun to mimic our subject.

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  41. http://www.haloscan.com/

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  42. There are no Haloscan comments installed on this blog. Right click the page and click View Page Source.

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  43. There are haloscan comments on this site just like FormerGawkerEmployee was editorial.

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  44. Oh no! Julia just deleted a blog post about needing to get in shape for her college reunion, complete with a pic of the good ole days back when she was thin and people liked her. I would have had bingo!

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  45. Must I delete all these stupid comments now too? Can everyone just get along and ease up on the conspiracy theories. Boooorrrrrriiiinnnngggg.

    Anon12:33: I didn't even see that one!

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  46. Jacy, I'm all for the deletion of obnoxious comments...but stupid ones? lol

    That's really subjective.

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  47. True, Anon12:48.

    OK, did she really take her dog to church? I have been swamped all night dealing with work.

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  48. YES!! She put up a pic of the shitter on a pew.

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  49. Oh God. Don't encourage Meghan's already sadly inflated ego. Every guy I know thinks she's so unattractive but she's so full of herself, it's embarrassing. Now she'll post about her hot body and her "beauty."

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  50. A dog to church during Easter week? A dog to church during any week? A dog who shits all over in church? Just wrong Julia.

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  51. If you are going to delete comments then you should have started with Allison's talking shit about people 3 times removed.

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  52. Her face looks so different from just a few months ago. I wonder if she is taking medically prescribed steroids. I had a friend in college who had terrible cyclical migraine attacks and her doctor would put her on six-week courses of steroids, which helped. One of the side effects, though, was the moon-face look that JA has going on now.

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  53. Wait a minute -- I just logged on -- JA has a dog in church? On Good Friday?!!??!!? (Perhaps the holiest day of the year.)

    And is she even Catholic/Christian? (I know she went to Georgetown, etc -- a LOT of good it did her.)

    The mind boggles. Really.

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