Friday, April 10, 2009

Julia: Let Us Give You A Lesson In Irony

Dear Jackles:

Irony is not bleaching your hair blonde hair a few years ago in an effort to emulate Britney Spears. That's not irony, that's dementia.

Irony is posting this ...
Me: I have six weeks to lose weight for my college reunion.
Megan: You know what you should do? Date someone and then have them dump you.

... shortly after maniacally crowing with love for Meghan McCain because of her stance on weight and how unfair it is that women are still discriminated against for how much they weigh.

Irony, you see, is when someone does or says something that is totally at odds with expectations. Bleaching your hair to look like a teen idol when you are so clearly emotionally stuck at the age of 14 in professional and personal behavior means that emulating Britney Spears was, in fact, totally expected. Blogging about the need to lose weight when, just moments earlier, you lauded Meghan McCain for ordering some right-wing loon to "stop talking about my weight" is, therefore, ironic. And, you know, stupid. As always.

79 comments:

  1. Sausage Fingers is like, totally ironic. Heaven forbid one of her readers comments negatively on her weight/body/looks. JAB will then follow this formula: Step 1-E-mail negative commenter in a manic rage attempting to make them feel terrible by bringing up her past bulimia/bullshit bulimia, whatever. Step 2-Blog about negative commenter and rave on about how comfortable she is in her own sking. 3-Post fake email from good reader praising JAB on her beautiful Heidi Klum body.
    However, if JAB posts about ways to lose weight in 6 weeks (very short amount of time) for the sole purpose of "looking good" for her college reunion, then that is just her "living differently."
    Dude, I don't care if you lose weight or not, but blogging about it is akin to blogging about the shape of your shit or the zit on your chin. NO ONE CARES!!!
    Kisses bunny

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  2. I think it's more hypocritical than anything. Her duplicity screams, "Weight is a personal issue, and even though Meghan McCain isn't stick-figure skinny... she's gorgeous! But me? Oh no, no, no. That will not do."

    Irony is such an abused idea, and the words/situations people are quick to deem "ironic," usually aren't.

    The only type of irony visible in the entire NonSociety project, is that of dramatic irony. We, the readers, are able to see what our anti-heroines cannot... subsequently being able to forecast a conclusion that our anti-heroines are unable to visualize.

    /end englishgrad rant.

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  3. Yoolio has nothing to worry about; most of her college companions have settle down with men/women, had or are having babies, or have careers which demand that sit at their desks for great portions of the day. I'm sure she's among the more svelte set. She should get some sleep, take some vitamins, and put tea bags and cucumbers all over her face because the POOF inflammation is the biggest physical problem I see.

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  4. Here's a tip, Corndog - stop dressing in unflattering Bratz doll outfits better suited to a Disney channel starlet and maybe you won't look so chunky and bizarre. Also, apply some 20 grit and lava soap to your face, a brush (going the correct direction, not against the follicle) to your hair, and stow the stilletos for some flip flops for the night. You might actually have more fun if you weren't so busy making sure you were the hottest girl in the room.

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  5. This is priceless! Does she even remember her previous stance on the issue? I'm sure she, like other great writers, does not ever read anything she once wrote again. My goldfish has a bigger short time memory than that.

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  6. Fran, do you think Jowly walks around her house going "Oh, a castle!.....Oh, a castle!"

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  7. Party Pants is very wise! And spend more time conversing than posing for pictures with Ineffable folks with titles! You'll actually make better connections and get more from people if you talk to them. Posing for pictures which you then check to see if you look pretty enough in, will continue to make you the laughing stock your graduating class. And you know you are and were the laughing stock, right? Like you know that everyone knows that you were allowed to graduate because they didn't want to deal with you or your demanding family any more? And professors didn't want to hear any more excuses about why your papers weren't handed in. And your classmates didn't want to be embarrassed any longer by your habit of cutting out pictures from US MAGAZINE during class.

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  8. "Don't mess with Chicago, or I will CUT YOU. That's all I'm saying.20 minutes ago from web "

    Um...can we talk about this twitter?

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  9. Absolutely. She's probably also thrilled to find that cute dog on her bed every morning. God, this person really brings out my mean streak. Excuse me while I go get some wine. Incidently she also increases my urge to numb everything with alcohol.

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  10. Chicago is a tame and friendly city and my adopted home town. I don't understand Julia's defensiveness in relation to Chicago. She's obviously embarrassed that she comes from the "second" city. Julia, as a born and bread New Yorker, your city is great and you have nothing to prove. SHUT UP. The only thing polluting Chicago's beaches is you, darling. Mary can visit me ANY TIME this summer for a swim.

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  11. I love Chicago. I think Chicago's more ashamed of Jaba than the other way around.

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  12. So, should Alexis Bledel lie low for a while because, as Rory Gilmore, she once said: "Chicago. Windy. Oprah."?

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  13. Hated at Georgetown? Oh my fucking God, was Julia Allison hated by everyone--students, faculty, administration--other than a very small coterie of like minded idiots who belonged at community colleges. Even when Julia thought she was one of the gang, most everybody just laughed at her, especially women. Her crashing of the med school comes to mind.

    Since graduating, Toolia has shamed herself even more. Again and again. I wasn't in her graduating class--a blessing--but can't wait to hear the stories!

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  14. I find it extremely sad that she has a conversation with friends and runs to post on the internet... Imagine someone doing that to you? Hold that thought, let me post that on my blog.

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  15. Alexis Bledel isn't annoying. Jullo Pudding there is.

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  16. The irony is she wants to look thin for a roomful of people who won't give a shit.

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  17. JtB: The problem is indeed that this isn't Europe, but Georgetown where she a) has a LOT of history and b) she can't simply pretend to be this beloved Carrie 2.0 character that is revolutionising web 2.0. I just hope she doesn't wander around claiming she invented post its.

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  18. Jacy, Foolia should kiss the ground you walk on for that free of charge lecture. We know that Julia reads RBNS, and probably several times a day, so there should indeed be a noticeable change re: her misuse of this term. Er, maybe not. Jackles appears never to learn from her missteps. Oh, and you explained the definition much more nicely than Anne Meara did to Winona Ryder in that dumbass movie with Ethan Hawke!

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  19. Wait when did they start having 7-year college reunions? She's really 31 then?

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  20. OMG FRAN...I so hope she goes up and says "Omg IIII am not the one who got FAT" to a bunch of pregnant chicks.

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  21. 3:21 i think its her 5 year reunion if she graduated college in 2004. right? shes just old for her class because she took "time off."

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  22. 3:23

    I keep thinking of that scenerio, too, Party Pants. At school like Georgetown, many of her peers will be preggers and settled down or just had a baby, especially at the 10 year reunion. They've got their own careers, children, and baby weight on their brains. Do you really think they'll give a flying fuck about Yoolio being Jackles showing up at 130lbs instead of 118lbs?

    My #s are not indicative of what I think she weighs OR would like to weigh...let's not talk #s...I was MERELY using those #s to show that whatever it is, it's inconsequential. Everyone else has bigger fish to fry!

    It's not like she went from 100 to 300 lbs.

    Now, the rapid aging and face inflammation maybe another story.

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  23. "yoolio being jackles" was a typo.

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  24. 3:27, five year reunion. My mistake! Oy vey. It's the aging I tell ya!

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  25. Um, actually that's not really what irony is. Something being inconsistent or hypocritical doesn't make it ironic. Jacy you really need to start getting your facts straight before you post, this is the third time this week you've posted something embarrassingly incorrect.

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  26. Irony can be, "Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: “Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated” (Richard Kain)."

    I'd say Julia being "pro women with curves" all morning and then posting her needs to lose weight and FAST fits in with the definition as given byhttp://www.answers.com/topic/irony which is almost the same as Jacy's explanation.

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  27. Do not mess with Southside Chitown..Jules we use bats..

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  28. I've recently received a fellowship to teach in underperforming elementary school in a gang infested area (true story), I'd like to invite Julia to speak to my class next year. The invitation is open. Jules you have my email address.

    I'll show you a part of Chicago you've never seen before and you can share the art soliciting freebies, along with returns without receipts for said freebies, to my students. They could use that skill far more than you.

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  29. Oh Julia. Your weight is the least revolting thing about you. I'm sure your class hated you for a plethora of other reasons, and thus won't even notice. So don't worry!

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  30. Okay, now THERE'S an example of irony:

    A prolific commenter whose criticisms often acknowledge JA's complete lack of self-awareness and hypocrisy, inviting JA to speak to underperforming elementary students.

    Hysterical in a very JA way.

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  31. Sorry to thread jack! Is it really true that julia makes up reader emails?? How do we know?

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  32. Anon 3:52 PM that's not funny in any way whatsoever.

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  33. Anon3:32, get your own facts straight. As an English lit mature who writes for a living, Jacy is correct. There are many different types of irony, from verbal to situational, and the one she/he described is one of them.

    Irony, according to the American Heritage Dictionary: “Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.”

    And see 2 a., below.


    ·ro·ny (r-n, r-)
    n. pl. i·ro·nies
    1.
    a. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
    b. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
    c. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit1.
    2.
    a. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: "Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated" Richard Kain.
    b. An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity. See Usage Note at ironic.
    3. Dramatic irony.
    4. Socratic irony.

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  34. MAJOR, not mature. Although indeed I am also mature!

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  35. 3:52

    Whatevs. Unfortunately, my problem IS too much self awareness rather than not enough. I've go problems, many which you are free to pick on, but you're off base with that comment.

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  36. Wow this fascinating lesson in grammar and correct word usage has really been interesting! It's always fun to learn sometZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  37. I never said Jacy was wrong! I just preferred the delicious example in the comments.

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  38. Partypants: So true.

    Embarrassingly incorrect: I am still embarrassed about the mistaken V-men.

    Not so on the "shit." I have it on good authority that the dog DOES shit all over the place, including indoors in people's apartments.

    And yes, I have my definitions of irony all straight, thanks. I too am an English lit major!

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  39. Yes, but no one actually expects her to be consistent with the Meghan McCain thing, and it's disingenuous to assume that any of us here do. That assumption is necessary for the "irony" definition to work. The Meghan McCain stuff is, to all of us, bullshit, so it's not ironic when she ignores it.

    (Everyone feel free to disregard the English lit "mature" and writer who uses the American Heritage Dictionary as her source -- although that's neither here nor there on the actual defintion.)

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  40. Jacy, didn't you also have it on good authority that she didn't have a three network day?

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  41. No, it's not, Anondouche. And you can find that very definition of irony in about 1,000 other places. Have at it.

    And I am a man, not a woman. And oh dear, I made a typo!

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  42. Gee, I wonder who this could be?

    "Jacy, didn't you also have it on good authority that she didn't have a three network day?"

    Real subtle.

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  43. It's a frequent commenter here who lives on the west coast and thinks it's ridiculous that Jacy continues to publish ON GOOD AUTHORITY totally erroneous "facts." If you want your JA snark fact-checked, go baugher. Let's be real, here. Just because we want it to be true, doesn't make it so.

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  44. Um...? Nice try at what? I live on the west coast. Nice try at discrediting me, though. Why don't you have Jacy check the haloscan WINK WINK?

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  45. If you don't think that Julia sends the same tipsters HERE that she does to Baugher, you're dead wrong.

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  46. I'm sorry, Total Jing, are you trying to say that Jacy did not claim to know from reliable sources that Julia did not have a three network day, and that evidence to the contrary did not later appear?

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  47. I think Miss McCain will enjoy your posts today, Jules.

    I have it on good authority that she will!

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  48. Yes, and baugher FACT CHECKS with third parties. Doy. She doesn't just post every tip as TOTES RELIABLE ZOMG!!1!

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  49. I'm sorry, I'm confused. Why would Julia post here saying baugher is ok? She hates baugher. That doesn't make any sense.

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  50. I have it on good authority that Anonymous is a boring, pompous blowhard.

    Ironic, isn't it.

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  51. 4:42

    All I know is what I've read here. According to Jacy, who has done a really good job of silencing wild conspiracy theories here, she received multiple tips that there was no 3 network day. I assume the contrary evidence you are speaking of is the several quotes from JA in a ABS ARTICLE. Seems like most journalists would phone/email/meet up with but usually not invite to their offices for a quick blurb.

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  52. I have it on good authority that you are correct, partypants!

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  53. There was also an MSNBC clip or something like that.

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  54. Total Jing is the one who insists Julia is a size 2 because her cool designer friends told her so, that all the the outfits for TMI are donated by designers because her cool designer friends told her so, that according to her important friend at Disney that Disney did not sponsor Julia's Little Mermaid video lip dub in Denmark and that NBC/NSNY is producing new TMI episodes.

    Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong.

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  55. So exciting, guys! Woo hoo!

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  56. Look, unhappy commenter. I don't post anything unless I hear it from more than five people and verify it with a few more. The three-network day was checked out by friends of mine who work at all three networks.

    That ABC thing? That was not on anyone's agenda. She took a phone call. That was it. She deliberately made it sound like she was up to far more than she was, and she did it knowingly, according to someone who works closely with her.

    When I make a mistake, I apologize and correct it immediately. But trust me, if I went with every tip I got from people EXTREMELY close to her -- friends, old boyfriends, associates, etc. -- I'd be blogging all day long. In fact, I have people mad at me for the stuff I don't post.

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  57. Hey West Coast person: what do you think of Julia's handling of the Charlsie sitch?

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  58. I am only going to respond one more time.

    (1) I have on friend who is a senior buyer at bloomingdales. She has sent samples to JA of B. Johnson and DVF.

    (2) I don't have any cool designer friends.

    (3) I have a close friend who once worked at Disney and he found it hysterical that Disney would have anything to do with her. Mostly, because it's such a puritanical corporation.

    Please, please, please! I'd never pretend nor lie about these things and I don't pretend that I have friends who are more fabulous then they are. SHEESH.

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  59. Oh Jacy! What's the nature of some of these EXTREMELY close tips!? Just the nature...

    Or then, if you wanna keep mum, why?

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  60. Why keep mum? Because Daddy-O is a lawyer!

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  61. Gotchya. What a shame!

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  62. TJ, you said you had "confirmation" from your contact at Disney that the Denmark lip dub thingy was a lie. You implied that he currently worked there. I'm sorry to jump in to the fray with this but you do always seem to have a story about some contact or friend that gives you super secret inside info.

    Doesn't Julia get her Betsy Johnson samples right from Betsy Johnson? Why would she go through a buyer at Bloomies when she knows BJ personally?

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  63. Shut up shutting upApril 10, 2009 at 5:35 PM

    Jesus Christ people this isn't the New York Times or a court of law. Take everything with a grain of pink salt. Do you really think you should be entitled to believe everything written on an anonymous blog written in peoples' spare time? If you want to get to the truth do the research yourselves.

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  64. Anon 4:42: I suppose then, that you're aware of Baugher's m.o. also based "on reliable authority"?
    Related, it's irrelevant to me what coast you live on ... I mean, thanks for sharing but I don't know what the point of that disclosure is anymore than I can understand why someone would question it later in the comments. (I'm landlocked if anyone wants to know and totally envy coast dwellers. Does that matter to you? No. Didn't think so.)
    I don't want to argue with anyone on this site and I'm always perplexed when these commentor-on-commentor flame wars begin.
    What's really at stake here? What's to be gained? I honestly don't get it.
    This site, as I understand it, was created as a counterpoint to the ridiculous entity that is NonSociety and it's f(l)ounder, Julia Allison Baugher, particularly as there is no forum there for its readers, and it was drawing unwarranted traffic from frustrated detractors.
    As a reader of THIS site, it seems to me that Jacy and the others post at whim; something funny or seemingly deceptive, something ironic, whatevs. If tips come in, they are disclosed as such. Aren't they? In my reading they are.
    This isn't "the paper of record" here or 60 Minutes or something, selling ad space based on journalistic integrity or past laurels like breaking Watergate. (Off topic, it's sad to me that I can't come up with a media outlet that can be heralded as a beacon of integrity / authority.)
    Anyway, RBNS is just a fun little blog that gets a little traffic. It's full of observation and opinion. Posters/commentors speculate. No biggie. Or that's how I see it, anyhow.
    It also provides a bit of customer service in terms of "outing" NS/JAB on the b.s., and in the meantime provides a light distraction in our otherwise PERFECT lives. (See? I kid. I haven't noticed any of us pretending to be perfect. But more importantly, this blog isn't about "us". After all, we have our own blogs for that! Another little joke there.)
    Anyway, chill y'all. Big hugs for everybody. Miss Baugher is the one who actually WANTS the attention. I've never had the impression that the site posters/commentors do.
    In relation to NS, RBNS has always been big enough for opinions, speculation, criticism, even the occassional NS/founder compliment. There has, however, been low tolerance for flame wars, and, on rare occassion creepy or borderline libelous statements. No biggie. Right? Does any of it really matter that much? To those of you for whom it does, why not start a blog then? Make it all about how crappy this site is! It's easy! That's what RBNS did in relation to NS ... you can do it too.
    I seriously don't get why the daggers come out, peeps. Though me? Yes, I do tend to go on ... so, on that basis for starters, feel free to take aim!
    xoxo bunnies

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  65. Thanks, anon5:35. Much appreciated. This is something all of us do in our spare time. Shoot me, I got the V-men mixed up!!

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  66. Oh, and I'm illiterate too ... that's why I use "it's" when I meant "its". Damn. I need an editor. For reals.

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  67. p.s. You too, Pony. And someone did start up a reblog of this blog but last time I checked, it was a non-starter. Too bad -- that would have been funny, bunnies!

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  68. Former employee in marketing at disney. If I said anything other than that, then I misstated. Julia has tried to get a department store relationship going for a while. Have you noticed all her Bergdorf mentions as of late? Formerly, she was working her magic with Bloomingdales because Mary sold her tampon sacks there and had formed some good relationships. Sizes sent were 2s, and 4s mostly. That's all I reported.

    Pony, great points.

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  69. http://reblogrebloggingnonsociety.blogspot.com/

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  70. Booooooooooooooooring.

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  71. The misuse of irony in here is KILLING ME.

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  72. Theremustbeapony: tl; dr. I did get far enough that I can tell you that there's as much point to pointing out how dumb commenters here can be as there is to pointing out how dumb Julia is. Sometimes a forum doesn't become what you wanted it to. Then, to make it what you want, you have to spend a lot of time deleting comments and so on and so forth. Then anyone with sense gets pissed off and opens their own House of Comments. And the circle of life continues...

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  73. I think it's time for me to start http://rebloggingreblogrebloggingnonsociety.blogspot.com/

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  74. I'm in the process of begging my boyfriend to sign up for the reunion. I'm GU '06 but he's GU '04 and I really would love the chance to scope things out. I may just show up anyways seeing as how I only live minutes from campus, it shouldn't be hard.

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  75. Idontmeantobeanonymous..just lazy!!!April 10, 2009 at 8:54 PM

    Jacy!

    I was the one who sent the comment about gary v not being her target du jour (RVV), but I did it out of love. We're in this together, sister.

    Hate the commenter on commenter wars. Waste of time, but amazingly easy to pick thru/bypass.

    Carry on doing your great work, Everyone.

    Also, Partypants? you rock.

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  76. idontmeantobeanonymous..just lazy!!!April 10, 2009 at 8:57 PM

    ^ Ugh. PAST target du jour.

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  77. Typically stores don't allow sample pulls so I say it's B.S.

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