Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Julia: Lunch.com Cupcake Review Brings Out Potential Husband Material


Julia, my middle name is cupcake, so if you want to marry me it's fine with me. Set the date and place and I'll be there with the bigest dimanond you have ever seen, almos as big as you pretty eyes.

66 comments:

  1. Why do I get the idea that guys like this and Scary Sadshaws make up about 99.9% of Julia Allison's fan base?

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  2. 'Oh, sex with the ex sounds pretty good right now. hahaha

    PS. I didn’t say WHICH ex!!

    PPS. Nooooo NOT Alex, lover of bright carpeting. Alex is sort of … um … how can I put this? I love him, always have, always will - but he’s gay in my eyes at this point. So is Dan. Sorry! That’s what happens (to me) after a certain period of time. No more sexual chemistry. But lots of love. :)'

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/94203052-0-6

    Being a closeted lesbian would definitely kill the 'sexual chemistry' between you and a guy, Jackles.

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  3. What a poser. I mean "almos as big as you pretty eyes" is kinda pathetic. What about as big as her eyes, or even larger! Anyway, be careful Julia, I hear that the "dimanond" market is not what it used to be. The sad thing is that I am pretty sure that this guy is the father of the Lunch.com founder.

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  4. Sigmund Freud,

    In the last thread, someone said that Julia was about to come out. I would have to concur, since the announcement will generate tons of publicity. I bet she steals Randi away from her husband on the upcoming camping trip.

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  5. I agree. Between the pictures of carpets, and all the talk about famous lezzies, I think Julesbia is about to break out the SEXXXXXXXXUALITY.

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  6. Isn't a "dimanond" some kind of Greek sweetmeat?

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  7. My friends call me SigmundApril 8, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    2:45PM - Oops!

    Sorry, didn't see that you guys had already discussed that post in the other thread.

    Guess I need to spend a little less time doing piles of blow, and a little more time paying attention!

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  8. Did ya'll see this: http://www.kellycree.com/lifestream/items/view/898

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  9. I think Julia is posting batshit crazy insane things like the Ellen references, wedding dresses and wanting sex from an ex because she knows it will get our attention. Unfortunately, it also makes her look batshit crazy insane. Julia has NO IDEA how to draw positive attention to herself... only negative. She also has NO IDEA how to spin negative attention into cash a la actual internet celebrities like Perez Hilton or Tila Tequila. She's too weak and thin-skinned for their brand of taking haters all the way to the bank.

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  10. Can you blame JA for not trusting commenters ha? (in re: to the post above)

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  11. Julia responded to Kelly Cree's post via twitter a few hours ago:

    "@kellycree - You make some great points. @MeghanAsha & I are definitely integrating many of them into our new design! Still horizontal :)
    about 4 hours ago from web in reply to kellycree"

    Notice how she left Mary out of the post and Mary's page still has not been updated to remove the light boxes. I am guessing Mary officially gets dropped when the (most likely bad) new design (version 2,493) launches. It remains to be seen whether or now they will allow commenting. I doubt it.

    Of course all of this begs the question... WHY are they still beating that dead horse called Nonsociety? It's a carcass. Done. Over. DOA. The fact that they continue to pour more design resources - and money - into it gets right to the heart of why they are bad business people. All the airport business books in the world won't remedy what is at it's core a bad product and a bad idea.

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  12. Mmmm...look at that fine slice of beef up there. If he's rich, I'm single.

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  13. In the words of the immortal B.I.G, "I love it when you call me big poppa [sic]"

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  14. Gwyneth's Inner AspectApril 8, 2009 at 4:00 PM

    I wrote this on a previous thread, but wanted to repeat it here: if you guys decide to review on Lunch, may I suggest we keep it clean? If revieweres attack Julia personally, making remarks about her looks, or even ethics, those reviews could easily be removed. There is so much to say about "the company" and the "content." So let's keep it to that, so as to encourage Lunch to keep our reviews up.

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  15. Good suggestions, Gwyneth's Inner.

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  16. She just called someone she dated a "wanker." She isn't in the UK anymore, but is using brit slang.

    If that counts, BINGO!

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  17. I agree Gwyneth. There is MUCH to say about their utter lack of content, creativity and innovation in both of their "businesses" - TMI Weekly and Nonsociety.

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  18. Give yourself an instant bingo win if Julia "comes out" as a lesbian anytime soon. It's just about the only way she'll be able to muster an ounce of attention these days.

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  19. Gwyneth's Inner AspectApril 8, 2009 at 4:15 PM

    Oh and in case I wasn't clear, I'm not getting all sanctimonious. I enjoy coming here and reading/writing/speculating about her various personal unpleasant qualities, but I don't want to give Lunch or Julia any good reason to get the reviews removed. Say the personal stuff on PersonRatings, review the "content" on Lunch.

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  20. A Business Plan for Julia
    =========================

    I do not know why I am obsessed (I admit it) with Julia the nut, but I am. So, here is a business plan for Julia so that she can stay alive:

    Julia, you need to turn NonSociety into a game. I think the best game for you is "Truth or Dare". The game mechanics would be as follows:

    1.) A commenter (e.g. Jacy, flatface, TJ) logins into NonSociety and submits a "Truth or Dare" message that consists of:

    a.) A question they want a true answer to.
    b.) A dare in lieu of the question.
    c.) A product selected from a "wishlist" of items chosen from NonSociety's sponsors (e.g. Kodak, Zappos).

    So, for instance, a commenter might submit:

    From: TJ
    Truth: "Why did you drop out of IU?",
    Dare: "Get a blue steel photo of you with the Queen.",
    For: http://www.zappos.com/product/126067/color/36561

    2.) All the "Truth or Dare" messages that you approve of (i.e. they are reasonable, not illegal, etc...) are posted on a bidding page on NonSociety.

    3.) Haters/fans can "purchase" a "Truth or Dare" message by buying you the product attached to the message. Once "purchased", you, Julia, must either publish a true answer to the given question or execute the dare.

    4.) Note that in addition to all the products you get, you will also have sponsors wanting to get their merchandise on your wishlist. Therefore, you will have a non-Dad revenue stream and a stream of free products. In business, I believe that they call that a win-win.

    Well, there it is. Have fun!

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  21. Gwyneth's Inner AspectApril 8, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    Enough out of me already today, I know. But! I have to tell you how excited I was earlier today to learn that someone I know worked on the NS Bravo pilot. I can't wait to run into this person and ask questions.

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  22. wow, Michael McDonald is an AWFUL photographer - Julia included one of the infamous LOVE photoshoot photos on her Lunch "tutu" review.

    http://www.lunch.com/data/The_Original_Pettiskirt_by_Kaiya_Eve-1382281-Photos-Julia_in_Kaiya_Eve_Pettiskirt-168010.html?pageIndex=0&indexType=REVIEW

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  23. anon 3:31 I posted that in http://rebloggingnonsociety.blogspot.com/2009/03/julia-wishing-shed-thought-of-ijulia.html this morning. Way to be late to the party.

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  24. No offense partypants, but I don't think anyone is still reading comments on a post from March 27. I can understand if anon 3:31 thought it was new.

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  25. Anon 4:17 - that business plan is very clever and could be very well done. However, Julia will never give a true, real or honest answer in the "truth" portion so it will never work. She lies about reading a freegin' business book... what makes you think she will ever be truthful when it comes to something that actually matters?

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  26. Anon424: My God, that could be a 50-year-old woman in that shot, facially speaking. Holy shit.

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  27. Jacy - can you post Julia's birthday picture here? Some of us can't log into Lunch.com and you have to be a member to see the page/picture. I think those infamous birthday photos deserve some coverage, don't you? And I was beginning to wonder why Julia never posted any of those much-hyped birthday pictures. Possibly because she looks like she's celebrating the big 5-0 instead of the big 2-8?

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  28. @Anon 4:34PM:

    I am glad you think the plan is neat. Regarding the "truth" problem, I don't think that Julia is a pathological liar. She tells the truth sometimes, especially if someone calls her on her bullshit. She might have to be policed by the commenters a little, but that is part of the charm of the game anyway. Beyond that, she always has the "dare" portion to fall back on. Finally. I think the motivations of running a successful business/game might also encourage her to be as truthful as possible.

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  29. "I don't think that Julia is a pathological liar."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Have you been following Julia Baugher for any amount of time?? Practically everything she says is a lie, half truth, hyped up version of reality or twisted to benefit her in some way. Even her late night "confessional" was full of bullshit and lies. She's not only a pathological liar, she's a shitty pathological liar.

    "She tells the truth sometimes, especially if someone calls her on her bullshit."

    No... she tells the truth - actually, rewrites history would be more accurate - after the fact and only if someone calls her out of her bullshit and she is forced to come clean.

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  30. cupcakes and botox for all!April 8, 2009 at 4:51 PM

    who had the bingo square about adopting british slang?

    "I am who I am. You can’t change people!

    -

    Guy I went out with two weeks ago, who behaved like a total wanker. Typical.

    UPDATE: Okay, in his defense, he’s been trying to make up for it in the last two weeks. Still. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just not be a wanker in the first place??"

    You're so adorable and british, Julia Allison.

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  31. Sigmund Freud's CouchApril 8, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    Oh, Jackles. NS on lunch.com for review? Brilliant!

    Don't know if you can read content if you haven't signed up.

    Here's a little taste:

    Rating: -5

    NonSociety is NotMuchToSee

    "Non Society is nothing more than a peephole to the mental illnesses of Julia Allison.

    You can get an eyeful of her insanity on NonSociety or just jump on to any of the far funnier reblog sites around the interwebs devoted to dissecting the crazy she dishes up each day.

    Meghan is an immature, coddled heiress who is really a crushing bore in a pair of Gucci boots.

    Mary, god love her, is really trying to up her game and I might be interested in her tips for setting up a spin bike should I decide to take a spin class. However, she is just too stupid to tolerate for long.

    Their TMI show is ridiculous.

    I cannot believe they get sponsors at all. Then again, I do not use Axe body spray OR eat Frito Lay products."

    Okay, which one of you RBNS-ers wrote this???

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  32. Wow, that photo. I can't believe she posted that.

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  33. cupcakes and botox for all!April 8, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    Erik @ 4:02: great minds.

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  34. Twitter Twatter from JA:
    Anyone have a good link to a solid download of iMovie 6.0? I'm trying to Limewire it but having no luck. I hate iMovie 8.0.

    Bitch, ask Meghan. She's the tech person!

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  35. What is with Julia's updates to blog posts today? Reign in the schizophrenia lady.

    "Wouldn’t it have been easier to just not be a wanker in the first place??"

    How very well JULIA ALLISON could apply those words to HERSELF.

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  36. That birthday photo is truly terrifying. That is some cah-razy spackle make up.

    It's reminiscent of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane.

    scary!

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  37. Emma K.,

    Ouch! OK, OK, how about we call it "Evasiveness or Dare". Her lies and bullshit are more fun and interesting than the truth anyway!

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  38. Gwyneth's Inner AspectApril 8, 2009 at 5:00 PM

    The man in the photo above is clearly Michael McDonald, after a good shave.

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  39. Nice reviews of nonsociety on lunch.com!

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  40. cupcakes and botox for all!,

    Did Julia go on a date with Popeye the Sailor Man?

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  41. Gwyneth's Inner Aspect,

    Holy shit, you're right! And "Dimanond" must be Greek for "Giant chewy Nerd".

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  42. She looks so awful in that picture. Micheal is a horrible photographer. The photo is out of focus and the flash is used horribly. And the makeup...she looks like a tranny clown.

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  43. That make-up is more like the lead-based stuff they used in Elizabethan times....

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  44. DYING to see the birthday clown photo!!!

    I can't log into Lunch.com - can anyone screen cap and repost it to an image sharing site, pretty please? I will give you a freshwater diamond for your efforts!

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  45. It is just SO LAME to go on and on about cupcakes, which were trendy like three years ago. Maybe in 2011 Julia will discover bacon.

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  46. Wait... she says she's 28 in her tutu review. Isn't she 40? I mean, 29?

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  47. Julia at the cutting edge of the cupcake trend, just like she's at the cutting edge of the video blogging trend. Which is to say... about three years too late. But she'll pretend like she discovered both because she's crazy insane delusional like that.

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  48. Gwyneth's Inner AspectApril 8, 2009 at 5:22 PM

    This is what I think about girls who go around chirping about their love of cupcakes: are you willing to traipse about chortling just, "I love cake."

    When you enter a party, are you willing to screech, "oooohhh cake! I love cake! I eat as much cake as I can!"

    When you take the word "cup" out, you don't sound so cute anymore, do you? You just sound fat.

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  49. No, she turned 28 this year.

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  50. LOL Gwyneth! SO SO true.

    The Julia Allison Pocket Translator: translates the cutesy and glamorous to the mundane and trite, with the click of a button!

    Julia Allison: "I just LOOOOVE my [insert word here]"
    Cupcakes = cake
    Tutus = square dance petticoats
    iPhone = cell phone
    Macbook Air = laptop
    Adorably pink Manhattan studio = dorm room
    Blueprint Cleanse = obscenely overpriced juice
    Ex boyfriends = baggage
    Singlehood = spinsterhood

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  51. LOVE that she hates on a guy for BEING HIMSELF. Maybe she could do the same---ohwait, then no one would date her. :(

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  52. Why? Did the guy repeatedly change the venue, just to be hours late anyway, twitter all the time and bring three of his not so close friends to the first date? Because THAT would make you a perfect wankette, if you ask me.

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  53. LOOK -- Julia is considered a "CELEB"!!!

    http://www.kaiyaeve.com/celebs/

    Every other "celeb" is actually the offspring of an actual celebrity, or a child actor. I don't see any girl/woman who is old enough to operate a car being photographed with the petticoats..er, tutus.

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  54. Julia obviously cannot stand people who are confident in being themselves/have strong personalities, as evidenced by wanker guy and her clashes with Mary. She prefers weak mushballs like Meghan or Randi Zuckerberg that she can easily manipulate with her bullshit. That's also why all of her fans are either creepy sad old men or creepy sad young women. Confident/strong-minded people don't buy Julia's thinly masked insecurities.

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  55. here you go Cruella!

    http://s610.photobucket.com/albums/tt185/scintillescent/?action=view&current=175758.jpg

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  56. CREEPY! Those Kaiya Eve petticoats are obviously made and marketed to children and babies. Julia is the oldest "celeb" on that press page by a good 20 years - and those pictures make her look about ten years older than her age of 28. There's one "birthday photoshoot" picture on that page if anyone cares to see it. Hmm... wonder why the rest of them never surfaced??

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  57. Another one, check the elderly guy to the right.

    http://i40.tinypic.com/2i5e05.jpg

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  58. DOUBLE CREEPY! That woman-child birthday photo is horrifying!

    But thanks anyway! Freshwater diamonds are being Fedexed to you tomorrow. Along with an adult sized tutu of your very own.

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  59. Anon, thanks for posting the link to the LOVE sculpture photo.

    I see that Julia's huge, hulking calves (ginormous, especially for someone who never works out) have been photoshopped to slimness. The freakishly white face is probably a bad photoshop attempt to take out the bloated puffy look.

    And for fuck's sake, why is she carrying an umbrella? I thought she was supposed to have dozens of balloons, a la Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face.

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  60. She holds balloons AND jumps in the link posted at 5:58.

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  61. Anon 6:10 -- thanks. You can clearly see the ginormous calves in the photo with the balloons. So attractive, people.

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  62. Michael Mcdonald needs to take Photography 101. The focus is all sorts of crazy here http://i40.tinypic.com/2i5e05.jpg (and I'm not talking about the movement blurs )...she just sinks into the background. She is not focused right and his frame is all wrong.

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  63. She just turned 28.

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  64. I can take quality picture like that with my iPhone. Michael McDonald really suck as a photographer. And why does she look so pale?

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  65. He meant to say "a dimanond as big as your brown-eye". He got confused in his excitement.

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