Sunday, April 12, 2009

Yulia: Drunk girl go home, revert to junior high

So apparently Poofy go out dancing last night in Chicago, tie one on, let down hair (but keep bobby pins in). Oh boy. Girlfriends, hold on to your boyfriends. Cupcakes, hold on to your frosting. POOF ON THE LOOSE!!! And lesson to be learned here: DO. NOT. TEXT. ON. COSMOS:
Picking up @rbillow then meeting @kellizink for a night of dancing w @rjmelman at Hub 51.
about 9 hours ago from txt

Hanging with @JerrodMelman - he keeps trying to make out with me!
about 7 hours ago from txt

Dancing at Hub 51 with Jay Cutler from the Bears!
about 7 hours ago from txt

Still out with @rjmelman & @jerrodmelman at ... Wouldn't you like to know? ;)
about 3 hours ago from txt

Jay Cutler told me he "liked [my] headband." Without prompting, I might add. !!!!about 2 hours ago from txt

I no even want to think where it go from here. Or NOT GO, if we know Poofy.

For record, THIS is Jay Cutler:

He cute. If Poofy thinking of moving from That Eater Guy to That Football Guy, she better realize something: Football Guys not put up with lies and manipulation and girls who change restaurants three times and then show up hours late and not have sex but have bad hair extentions. Um, hello, THEY HAVE CHEERLEADERS WHO TRAVEL WITH!!!!!

Also, this whole thing is so desperately junior high. The BFs in NYC dump you, so you go crying to mommeh and daddeh and then head to some trashy bar and essentially flash your boobehs to THE CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM?!??!!

DR. FREUD.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

33 comments:

  1. He's cute. Go Julia! So happy he complimented you on your headband and whatever else you use as accessories! You must feel so validated now eh? Oh, wait...You feel validated once you let the twitterverse know. Ah, I got it. It's not enough for you and you girlie friends to hang with Jay Cutler, we all have to know too. Well, all I can say is that I'm jealous you hung out with a famous sports star in a cool hotspot in Chicago. I'm so jealous.

    Do you believe me?

    M

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  2. Between that pose in his photo and his allegedly unsolicited opinion about her headband, I am left to wonder if maybe she tried to out the wrong person recently.

    That said, I think that she's such a campy character (caricature) that the only guys who want to hang out with her are big old queens. Hetero guys run screaming from women who manage to look/act like matrons and schoolgirls simultaneously.

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  3. Um, Jay Cutler is not homosexual.

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  4. Mary's Gay Alien FriendApril 12, 2009 at 9:01 AM

    I had sex with Jason Cutler and it was hot.

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  5. Cutler's only crime was being at the same place as JA. Let's leave him and his sexuality out of this.

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  6. I guess Jackles will have to start feigning interest in sports now.

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  7. The Melman Brothers are in the business of providing meat markets for finance dudes. Dad owns, get this, Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises, a group of restaurants in Chicago. The Melmans are trust fund kids, too!

    RJ and Jerrod both own Hub 51 but of course Julia is into the "thin one" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79pyeAD6IAk. Hub 51 is a frat house for now-unemployed Ibankers and finance dudes under the age of 30. It's a total meat market-10 guys for every 1 girl.

    LIVE DIFFERENTLY!

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  8. Pathetic Jules! You try to conjure interest in your empty frivolous life by mentioning any high profile person you come across. Wow! You are the first person to dance with an athlete at a club.
    Happy Easter bunny. xo

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  9. Cutler is not going to wait for 3 hours. Nor is he going to put up with YOUR hectic sleep deprived manic schedule. Cutler is the talk of town. He is the IT boy. There is a Church of the Bears in Chicago, and he's the "miracle" trade made only two weeks ago. He's big news. Top potato. What have you...

    He's also gets more ass in a day than you give out in a year...maybe a decade?

    Wear protection, Jules....
    Live Differently!

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  10. OMG OMG OMG DID YOU SEE JAB'S EASTER PICTURE?! AHHAHAHAHA

    She is LITERALLY wearing a costume.

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  11. http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/95445092-0-1
    Who took this photo? Britt or Papa? EWWWWWW. I especially love the use of the creepy "Vaseline lens."

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  12. This is begging for a stand-alone post:

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/95445092-0-1

    Blair Waldorf is a 17-year-old character in a teen drama. You are nearing 30. GET YOUR OWN IDENTITY.

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  13. Look at me! I'm so super connected! I hang out at the super connected places with super stars! Twitter, text, video, email, blog it all AS FAST AS I CAN so the low rung people who still buy the crap that I'm important and successful can wish they were me! I want everybody to wish they were me!

    Bet Julia and Meghan will become sports groupies now, only neither is pretty enough or with nice enough bodies. The competition for players takes more than a super duper cute headband and fake wealth, fame, life, etc.

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  14. UMM, how does one know if Julia blocks your IP address?

    What would it look like?

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  15. The thing that Julia doesn't realize is that really connected people with big friends would not have those friends if they constantly boasted about it.

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  16. After a bit of twitter searching, I learned that last night was actually Jay's third consecutive night at that club. She's really not special.

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  17. @11:25 Her parents must be so embarrassed. Her dad is on several local boards, one for protestants giving back and such. Her parents are very "old money." Her mother really is genuine old money. To have a daughter acting like this when faced with other people's money and success...well, it's just not the Baugher way. Mom and Brother are very STIFF upper lip. Dad is stiff upper lip except when he's hot under the cuff.

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  18. Whatever Happened to Baby Jackles?April 12, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    That Easter 'costume' is a total embarrassment.

    And taking photos in church??? As an ex-Catholic, I can say that is in VERY poor taste. But that's our girl!

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  19. Ahem, just wanted to point out I totally called two Baugher Bingo (Chicago Edition) squares and am poised to win this thing: Hub 51 (hot club) and its high-school friend owner (Melman kid) of monied pedigree.

    Damn, though--I forgot to predict square for ludicrous Minnie Mouse Easter outfit!!! *smacks forehead, sobs in frustration*

    Is it too late too predict a special-credit square for Easter dessert buffet at University Club brunch? As well as pancake brekkie with grams? Toodles.

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  20. Pretty sad that gram's is not allowed entrance to her only child's home and has to resort to meeting her granddaughter at a pancake restaurant. They are such. nice. people.

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  21. @Betsy: I'm sure someone around here knows more of the story than I do, for some reason Grams doesn't speak to Julia's mom. If my mom refused to speak to my spouse, she wouldn't be welcome in my home either.

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  22. Dyspeptic-Congratulations! A job well done. Hub 51 is a faux hot club, but it's certainly frequented by what we Chicagoans refer to as "trixies and chads."

    @Betsy...I don't know. I mean it's sort of normal family dysfunction UNTIL you realize that Grandma lives in like walking distance from the Baugher home and has private tea parties with Julia, whilst Mrs. Baugher grits her teach at home.

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  23. Ack! "BUT for some reason..."

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  24. 12:57 Mature adults should be able to move forward, make amends and understand we are living on borrowed time here. We only get one shot at this, seems to me that petty behavior will be regretted in our later years. How do we know it is not the daughter-in-law that refuses to speak with gram's? That is the take-away I always sensed. The accomplished counselor son/husband should be able to wield his negotiation powers in this sad situation one would think.

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  25. Jay Cutler just left Denver over a big cry baby episode of stomping his feet and yelling "I want to be traded now!". When the coach tried to talk with him, Jay refused to take phone calls from the head coach for close to two weeks. He's a 23 year old punk kid. Go Julia Go!

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  26. [redacted] NonEntity - Paradigm Shifter!April 12, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    Smokey, I thought it was a matter of Julia's mother refusing to speak to her mother-in-law.

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  27. Sounds like Charlsie!

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  28. Oh god. That Kelli Zink girl she's got her hands and lips all over in Chicago is a really sweet girl. I cannot believe she is "friends" with this nutcase.

    All I can say is GROSS.

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  29. @[redacted] - I bow to your superior knowledge of the subject. I thought someone around here had said (months ago) that Mother Baugher was the antagonist. One way or another, sad.

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  30. ah Russia Girl, Bears do not have cheer leaders!

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  31. It's weird how JA is so defensive about Chicago yet only goes to the same two places whenever she's in town.

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  32. Uhh yeah, no Cheerleaders

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