Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Yulia: She always after me Lucky Charms


Yes sir, I’m wearing a bow!


Why I suspect this St. Patrick's Day costume? Why is EEEEEEEEEVERYTHING costume?!?!

No, for totes reals. WHY?!

59 comments:

  1. She REALLY shouldn't be wearing horizontal stripes.

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  2. No man will ever want her. Ever.

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  3. nonsociety has become a sad conversation between them and us. i can't believe it was this easy to derail their business!

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  4. 1. She posted that "My date's here. Bye now."
    2. Six minutes later (when she should have been with her date) posted an update (pointless - promising more birthday photos)
    3. I pointed this out here.
    4. The six-minutes-later post disappeared.

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  5. This title is hilarious. :)

    I tip my hat to you, Russian Girl.

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  6. Ms. B, you nailed it.

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  7. Her entire life has been reduced to provoking and responding to haters.

    That warms my icy heart a little.

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  8. Julia Allison Bauer!

    Pull out the fake lashes, teeth, nails and hair. Scrub the makeup off, stop dressing up like a doll and for once in your life be real.

    Go see a shrink. Please. Really, it's ok to get better.

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  9. Julia: you are BEAUUUTIFUL. Really. I think all of us here would agree you're attractive.

    I think it's time for a change in your look -- less makeup. More t-shirts. Not frumpy, just... more relaxed.

    Throw on a pair of Frye boots and kick back, girl! You don't need the dresses, the heels, the bows, the headbands.

    Be real and you'll be embraced. It always works out that way. Maybe it's time for a change?

    Lots of love - really -
    C

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  10. Julie, honey, the leprechaun look is very fetching and of course highly creative, but do find yourself a Scarsdale dentist and settle down to a life of suburban dinner parties and Quaaludes before that nasty clock does more damage, O.K.?

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  11. Er, no. Julia has totally wrecked herself - reputation and looks - so a Yonkers mail carrier or grocery clerk may be more suitable for the damaged goods that she has become.

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  12. C @ 9:24,

    It would take a LOT more than just changing her wardrobe for her to become likable enough. There is so much work that needs to be done to her insides that it may be an insurmountable task.

    The suburban mom dresses wouldn't be so bad if she weren't such an evil, selfish, shallow, vile, lying bitch.

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  13. Yulia is reminding me of the Jen Aniston character on 30 Rock - gets men coz she's hot, gets dumped coz she's crazy and unpredictable.
    WTF is up with all this redacted cr@p anyway?

    Twitters:

    @juliaallison: Wonderful dinner & conversation with [redacted]. He's going to change the world.
    about 1 hour ago from txt ·

    @dennisq: @juliaallison Tweets like this make absolutely no sense. The [redacted] part means it should have been deleted, or never posted.
    less than a minute ago from web

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  14. (redacted) @ 9:32 -

    I used to be a fan of this (RBNS) website. But the past few days, WOW -- it has gotten nasty. It's gotten personal and it's filled with body-snarking, which I can never support and could definitely never join in on.

    Can you explain to me the point of this website? Is it just to tear these girls apart, or to try to push them to change and be better?

    I know you're going to come back and say "they've gone too far down the road," "they're selfish," "they did NOTHING at (fill in the blank event) but I think we can ALL agree that it's never too late for a comeback.

    I may be the one voice on here, but I want these girls to succeed. Sorry, I do. I'm reading your comments and agreeing somewhat, but also, I'm cheering them on to prove you wrong.

    Rip away, ladies...

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  15. Hi Julia - I just wanted to say I really miss the old you. The one who really had something important to say. Before Nonsociety and all. I hope you read these comments here. I can't stand the new interface on the site. I no longer go to read your blog there. It makes me so mad! You have turned into the illusion of a person you created. You are so ugly now. You don't need to try and be the same person you were 5 years ago. I suggest you try aging gracefully. Have a little grace.

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  16. anon 9:40.....show me the "body-snarking" in redacted's comment, please.

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  17. Anon @ 9:40, I can't speak for anyone else, but I have zero interest in helping these three vapid twits.

    Personally, I don't find you interesting enough to "rip."

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  18. Anon @ 9:40

    Succeed at what? Being a figure of fun isn't enough?

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  19. 8:50 - i love stories like this. julia allison, history revisionist.

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  20. sigh. Oh, Yulia. I am giving you up for Lent. hopefully it will make me a better person. It's just too easy to hate on you now...and, yes, I'm disturbed by this fact. 'Taint right!

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  21. Lucky the LeprechaunMarch 3, 2009 at 10:24 PM

    Julia - if you're reading over here - please give up the hair bows and little girl outfits. Your "daddy issues on parade" schtick is beyond creepy. Thanks.

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  22. Ms. B - I was not referring to (redacted) NonEntity specifically. You are actually a bunch of funny people. But isn't bodysnarking a little bit... I don't know, a low blow? And also a little bit lazy?

    Call them vapid, shallow, callous, but let's stay away from negative comments about their appearance. Especially making fun of someone's SMILE (Randi's)... that just ain't right!

    EXAMPLES:
    Did Somebody Say Crest White Strips? said...
    You would think with all that Facebook money, Miss Randi Jayne would go see a goddamned dentist and fix those awful rat teeth. Sorry. It had to be said.
    March 3, 2009 4:46 PM

    Random Dental Hygienist said...
    Randi Z, your smile is kinda dingy looking. Might want to switch to a baking soda toothpaste. Are you a smoker?
    March 2, 2009 6:41 PM

    Anonymous said...
    I hate to say this, but boy, there is NO WAY that pic is of JA... her waist, thighs, backside are not that thin... speaking as a girl, sorry... maybe it's Mary (!), who spends all of her time working out and not eating...
    March 3, 2009 12:53 AM

    [redacted] NonEntity £ said...
    Being on the rag is no excuse for those tree trunk thighs she put on display last night! Those massive thighs are the result of cupcakes > gym time.
    February 28, 2009 9:44 PM

    Paul/Spartacus said...
    I just want to say that looking at Julia's thighs suddenly makes me crave a big bowl of cottage cheese!
    February 28, 2009 10:19 PM

    Anonymous said...
    Mary looks ten thousand times better than Julia. Julia looks like she's turning 38. Her looks are completely ruined. Megs, as usual, looks bored out of her brain.
    March 1, 2009 3:43 AM

    Anonymous said...
    Where are all the pictures of Julia, hmm?? Too upset at being outshined by Mary? I call bs she "lost" her phone. Bet she is self-conscious of looking fat and made everyone swear not to post photos of her.
    March 1, 2009 1:44 AM

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  23. lucky charms....hilarious.

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  24. 8:50PM You dirty scoundrel, you expose the impresario extraordinaire! To point out the obvious, Foolia would like us to believe she is dating some 10 men right? Then why wasn't her harem represented at her stupendous bday celebration, not a single suitor to be found. :(

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  25. Which man's legs did Julia borrow for this photo?

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  26. anon 10:25, im not going to defend those posts. im sorry your feelings were hurt so bad.

    we, the bodysnarkers, are a little tired of your kind coming in here with your judgey faces (uhoh, bodaysnarking???).

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  27. *bodysnarking, clearly my chubby fingers cant type correctly tonight.

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  28. Anon 10:25- how's the view off of your high horse?

    Frankly, it's our prerogative if we want to body-snark on Jankles or not. Please don't presume to tell me what I can and can not post regarding Poofy's current state of Poofness (vast!).

    It is only the moderators of this blog, our lovely hosts, to mandate comment policies.

    So, umm... f-off. Thanks, bunny! KISSES!!

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  29. @ ms. bojankles- exactly.

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  30. In one of her birthday party photos she's standing next to a fat girl and rather than saying that she's a friend and what her name is she makes a point of saying she was her Grade 7 science partner, because of course there has to be some kind of explanation for her to be standing next to a fat person, it couldn't just be her friend and leave it at that.

    what a vapid cunt.

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  31. @9:40--pretty presumptuous to assume we are all female. And "ladies" at that. Why would only women want to snark on her? Men can be much harsher on womens' looks (not defending that) and she's an equal opportunity bridge burner, if nothing else.

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  32. Thanks for the helpful roundup, 10:25, bodysnarking is my favorite kind of humor. I'm a bit disappointed that you only found 7 examples in the last 4 days. C'mon, gang, try a little harder.

    By the way, Randi posted that it's her lifelong dream to be followed around by photographers. What you think are insults are more like helpful advice, re: her ratty yellow choppers. And frizzy Supercuts hair-don't. And beady little eyes. Etc.

    Bwahahahaha. Dumbass.

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  33. Internet Snark MachineMarch 3, 2009 at 11:32 PM

    There is NOTHING more to JAB & Co. than their physical appearance. I can only work with what they put out there.

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  34. Oh life is hard RBNS snark-complainers. Did you think that three microcelebrities who "PUT IT ALL OUT THERE" would avoid getting nasty things said about their body or appearance or lifestyle?

    This is like complaining about mean girls in high school: it is a pointless fight because they are always going to exist. Those of us who are more successful learned that you have to suck it up and move on, but wanting to turn the real world into some exclusive Berkeley montessori where all the kids hold hands and sing songs about sharing and feelings and being special snowflakes isn't going to happen.

    Point is: grow up.

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  35. Somebody thinks bodysnarking is "lazy" comedy??? WTF, are some of you getting paid for writing comments?

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  36. Bicurious Party HatMarch 3, 2009 at 11:40 PM

    Marie Antoinette didn't like it when the peasants made fun of her pasty white face, mile-high hairdo, and frivolous partying ways.

    I bet she would have preferred snark to the guillotine, however.

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  37. 1. All the "body-snarking" whiners can go back to commenting about cats on Jezebel, pls. We don't want your PC kind here on RBNS--A BLOG DESIGNED TO OBSESSIVELY MAKE FUN OF THREE WOMEN.
    2. Anyone who thinks that there are "rules" to comedy that go along some guidelines of offensiveness that isn't directly racist or violent is probably not very funny, has few friends and shouldn't be telling other people what is or is not funny.

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  38. When will Jackles be posting pics of her at last night's Tribeca Ball? I'm sure she attended, right? I mean, I know how much she loves art. And charity. And Bill Clinton. (wink)

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  39. In one of her birthday party photos she's standing next to a fat girl and rather than saying that she's a friend and what her name is she makes a point of saying she was her Grade 7 science partner, because of course there has to be some kind of explanation for her to be standing next to a fat person, it couldn't just be her friend and leave it at that.

    Like in this one?
    http://img16.imageshack.us/my.php?image=jabirthdaydq5.jpg&via=mupload

    Kind of demeaning of her to leave her high school friends sequestered to a corner. Poor Julia doesn't like being seen around the plus size girls, dontcha know.

    P.S.? Nice dimple of cellulite on your upper thigh, Jules. And I swear she had calf implants. She has legs like Lance Armstrong.

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  40. Jeez, NS is improving and we are in decline. WTF, who cares about inane body-snarking rules or Jake Lodwick's mole-people sex fantasies? We are in grave danger; Julia Allison has just become sentient!

    # Whoa. TOTAL AH-HA MOMENT TONIGHT. Check back with me in six months (or maybe just six weeks) & I'll explain the paradigm shift.
    about 1 hour ago from web

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  41. Well, either that, or she just realized that she joined an escort service and not a matchmaking service.

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  42. Ms Free Inventory is starting to look like Joan Rivers.

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  43. 12:03, the really sad thing is that that girl (Liz?) was the only person at that party who was exclusively there for Julia. Doesn't she live in Chicago? Did she fly out to SF just for Julia?

    She's gross. (Julia)

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  44. I wouldn't pose for any pics with Jackles, even if I were one of her closest friends. Waiting for her to go through all those preening contortions would make the experience too tedious. Plus, you know she'd be rubbing on your arm with her bazooms and/or crotch, if not outright licking you. Gross, indeed.

    It appears that NS traffic has a lot of wild up and down swings, but they can't seem to grow beyond a certain point. Their peak stays fairly constant, at least on Alexa.

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  45. Check back with me in six months (or maybe just six weeks) & I'll explain...

    Right after we discuss Paul Carr, right Poofy? I won't hold my breath.

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  46. Re: Jackles Ah-ha moment

    Maybe she figured out how to monetize her dates without having to put out. Fetish, anyone?

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  47. I give up on this bitch! I swear that her main goal in life is to piss me off. What the fuck are you wearing grown woman? You look idiotic. SIGH! My blood pressure.

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  48. I know, I can't believe she truly believes she has style. You can tell by the way she proudly presents herself.

    SERIOUSLY, JULIA. YOUR STYLE CHOICES (in addition to a myriad other facets of your personality) MAKE EVERYONE WANT TO VOMIT.

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  49. Toolia Allison.

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  50. Right after we discuss Paul Carr, right Poofy? I won't hold my breath.

    Is that before or after the whole Harvard B-School thing?

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  51. And the discussion on spirituality!

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  52. FYI - it HAS ALREADY fallen apart. I have it from a friend who knows a friend..... TEAM MARY AND MEGHAN - Julia is a tool.

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  53. TEAM MARY - whatevs. OKAAAYYYY.

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  54. Lucky the LeprechaunMarch 4, 2009 at 8:46 AM

    Anon 10:25. We'll make you a deal. We'll stop talking about their appearances when they stop talking about their appearances.

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  55. anon 8.14 please elaborate

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  56. You don't need any insider info to see that the wheels have fallen of NS and TMI for that matter. It's obvious in every post and every episode. They're probably just riding out the end of their NNN contract ... as evidenced by taping six shows in one day and still not having show topics hours before taping.

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  57. Note to Meghan: Please stop wearing skirts as tops. I know Mary told you it was a fun way to "mix it up" and be unconventional, but they look retarded. Please buy some clothes that fit your gorgeous body (and Meghan, we ALL have bodies that can be flattered and look stylish by wearing well-fitted clothes that accentuate our best features and distract from what we consider our flaws: Julia, Mary, you, me, Roseanne Barr, all of us). Please stop hiding in elasticized bags pulled up to your armpits. That is all.

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  58. "No man will ever want her. Ever." Knowing that I have something Jackles will never have gives me some glimmer of hope that karma is indeed alive and well.

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  59. Um, is it just me, or is Jackles not wearing any shoes in this picture? That's kind of weird...

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