Wednesday, April 1, 2009

She's. A. Scaerie. Faerie.

My darling Queene scares the hell out of me sometimes. I become so frightened that I do this to placate her.  (We all know what that cake really said.) We are a few days after the Bi-coastal Birthday Bash One Month Anniversary and she still has her hooks in me. I celebrate this even now because she taught me Blue Steel. I practice this all the time in hopes of catching her eye on a more permanent basis. 

UPDATE: 

Cough, cough. That was some strong stuff. 

Anyhoo. Apparently between the dirty boots that double as my pillows and my PDA, I get confused. Randi's finger is the blur tool.  However, this does not make my darling Queene any less of a Scaerie Faerie

29 comments:

  1. this is amazing. why would this tool edit the cake taking out the name of the person who actually has money and connections to please the fameball who has not? makes no sense in my universe.

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  2. She. Is. Just. That. Persuasive. People.

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  3. Alexa says nonsociety page hits are up 18% over the past 3 months.

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  4. Julia talks to Randi about the cake issue:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3403198612/in/photostream/

    There are some as yet before unseen gems in this new BCBB photo stream.

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  5. I wonder how much turpentine it take Jaba to get that crap off her face at night?

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  6. she had the cake photoshopped??? she is so sad...

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  7. this is not an april fool's thingy, is it?

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  8. It's not photoshopped. Randi dragged her finger through her name and Julia fellated it off her finger. It's in the picture series somewhere.

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  9. http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3403194382/in/photostream/

    Perhaps it is! Perhaps Randi's finger did the dirty work!

    Well, well.

    Regardless, the photostream from this point plus 20 tells a wonderful teleroman of Jackles humiliation and taking Randi to task over the cake.

    This shot of Meghanaise and Sarah Lacy is particularly illuminating:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3403199734/in/photostream/

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  10. Yeah, regardless, I don't see why a 30 something year old woman continues to act like a freaking teenager. OMG HAY GUYZ bi-coastal super sweet 16 with my bff!!!

    It's just repulsive. Act your fucking age already, Julia. After about 25 this giggles and dimples act isn't cute - on anyone.

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  11. I think this is pretty much the quintessential picture:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3403194382/in/set-72157615910537413/

    Randi throwing her friends under the bus (i.e., the ones who were thoughtful enough to actually order a cake for her) while Julia effing licks it. Keep it classy girls.

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  12. Seriously, WHO over the age of 16, actually LICKS a goddamned b-day cake with someone else's name on it?! That's so disgusting and juvenile. Not to mention just plained trashy. Way to show off that passive-agressiveness at its finest, Julia; ruin Randi's cake because it doesn't have your name on it too. Biyotch.

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  13. so the cake was a big issue that night after all. i had hoped that for once we would have done her wrong when we were assuming she was really THAT small. i'm not a fan of zuckerberg but at the end of the day she comes across as the bigger person here because can you imagine JA wiping her name off a cake had things been the other way around? i don't think the friends did mind. after all they were in the same room with what looked like bluebell on speed.

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  14. http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3403173756/in/set-72157615910537413/

    The chins. My god, all the chins.

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  15. Tis true! The narrative on display with this photostream kind of calls into question Michael McDonald's loyalty to Jackles.

    One really does get the whole story on lots of narrative arcs that night. Meghan and Sarah Lacy seem horrified, Jackles berates Randi for 'the mistake' and Randi falls on the sword for Jackles. This is not assumption or speculation, this is totally clear in the photos.

    Here the photos truly do speak volumes. VOLUMES PEOPLE!

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  16. My god, more chins than a sushi place! Huh? Right? See what I did there???

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  17. Bicoastal Cakegate Bash 2009April 1, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    Michael McDonald really needs to employ some photoshop and editing skills. Some of those photos viewed large are truly horrifying... Julia's oily sweat, the spackled on makeup, armpit fat, bad Botox lumps, bobby pins and heinous ruined skin is on full high def display. GROSS.

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  18. More chins in that picture than there are on Mott St.!

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  19. Why don't any of Jackal's friends insist on being on her right side in photos? Wouldn't you call your friend out if she was that ridiculous? I would never indulge that kind of behavior. Then again, narcissists don't exactly surround themselves with people with backbones.

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  20. She would probably refuse to pose, or destroy the picture. We're talking about an idiot so vain and self-important that she actually complained until wikipedia CHANGED her photo to one approved by Jaba - her dumbass right side over the shoulder pose. Trust me, this bitch is obsessive about controlling her image.

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  21. there is something so poetic about Randi smearing her own name off of the cake, and literally shoving it down Julia's throat.

    R&J look like they are doing some kind of sacrificial prayer to the frosting lords, it is downright creepy.

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  22. They look like a couple of sorority tards practicing for "Cakes Gone Wild: BI-COASTAL FROSTING FIESTA"

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  23. Have eye bleach ready:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3403192688/sizes/l/in/set-72157615910537413/

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  24. My God, that is truly the most frightening photo ever taken of her. She looks like a serial killer who's buried her souvenir in the cake.

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  25. JESUS! The jig is up! No way Michael McDonald is not throwing her down the staircase with this photo stream. That photo is pure hideousness.

    WHERE ARE THOSE LOVE 'STATUE' PHOTOS!? WANT. NOW.

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  26. I know this place is about Julia and we shouldn't be snarky about looks but, because this is something that can be fixed easily, I have to say it.

    Zuckerberg, girlfriend, you know you have some mad cash. Get thee to some Crest Whitestrips stat!

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  27. I actually like Randini's gnarly little teefs. I hope she keeps it real b/c i find that refreshing.

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  28. Having them not be perfectly, perfect straight is one thing. I can appreciate that. The color is pretty horrendous, though.

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