Tweets of Greatness

The past few days have been a treasure trove of JA-related Twitter animosity. In no particular order, here are some of our favorites:

amykish: @juliaallison who are u

richardtong7: Photo: juliaallison: fergalicious. tumblr.com/xew1nn6ng

tiffanywen: At julia's first time at noch's-@Tiffanywen: you're going to wait in this line?! @juliaallison: oh honey, i don't wait in lines

LinaMariePony: julia allison's a douche with a capital BAG

alanajoy: @juliaallison you have your very own techxpert... ask her. or if you hold down the home button and shove it up your ass that might help? xo

alanajoy: @juliaallison oh STFU: you realize you have something 2 prove and still feel u have something 2 prove? so DEEP. awareness isnt change, kiddo

brianvan: @juliaallison serious answer: usually it's something to address with a therapist. Normal goal-setting in adults follows a different pattern

alanajoy: @juliaallison you're disgusting. yes, i said. some things are OFF LIMITS and someones Cancer treatment is one of those things

urbanredneck: If Julia Allison has an expiration date can it be NOW? That moron literally just admitted she relies solely on her looks. I'm disgusted.

sharemefg: to pull a Julia Allison is to go to a pretend tech conference and pretend its real

Yulia: No plastic surgery?!

From Page Six:

INTERNET fame-whore Julia Allison is no feminist, and at the ripe old age of 27, she's familiar with many forms of plastic surgery. The blogger was a last-minute no-show at the Lincoln Center premiere of the HBO documentary "Youth Knows No Pain," but her wrinkles and laugh lines were on full display. Allison, who's had her nose reduced and her breasts enlarged, and her ex-pal Mary Rambin are shown in the film being injected with Botox. "As a woman, I know I have an expiration date," Allison declares. The doc, due on HBO in August, also fea tures Linda Wells and Simon Doonan.

Remember when Poofy tell the universe that she has had no plastic surgery? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That good one!

Julia: Still Bringing that A-Game Content

Go-carting!

TMI Weakly: It's Tough Being 25

"You can figure out a way to get paid for anything," says Jackles.

Hahahahhahaa!

Julia: Yawn.com

There are days when mustering up the enthusiasm to reblog Jackles is tiresome. Especially after all the fun photo-shopping hijinks of last night.

Can't we just do some more of these? Thanks, loyal RBNS reader!




But here we go, okay. In the last 24 hours:

1. Jackles bailed out of attending the screening of a documentary in which she is revealed to be a face-injecting crazy lady. She pretended she wanted to go but she is noble and NICE, people, and so instead decided to play Florence Nightingale to her poor sick friend in Boston because "no one should ever be alone in a hospital." Many are skeptical and feel [REDACTED] was used once again for PR purposes, his unfortunate circumstances allowing Jackles to save face by skipping the embarrassing screening. She Tweeted one of the filmmakers to say she's so sorry she missed it or she wished she'd been there or some such shit. As if.

2. New York Magazine put Jackles right next to Spencer Pratt as being one of the most banal and insipid navel-gazing Tweeters on Planet Twitter. This must have severely stung; we recall her lobbying at some point to win some ridiculous Best Twitterer award. It's clear she believes her Tweets are as clever and witty as can be. She shook off the pain and gamely tried to make jokes about it that, as always, are too boring and unmemorable to reblog. But she really, truly is like the female, Internet version of Spencer Pratt, isn't she?

3. Once again she promised a prize to whomever could suggest a chaise lounge for her little balcony so she can suntan. How many people does she promise prizes to every week? Does she ever deliver? How come we rarely ever hear about it again? You know if she dragged her ass in its figure-skater skirt down to the nearest post office to mail someone an umbrella she'd blog every moment and tell us how awesome she is for doing it. And as for the chaise lounge, we thought she was moving in with her "high school debate/science partner who just graduated from Princeton and has been hired by a prestigious financial institution" or however the fuck it was that she constantly described that poor woman who might soon be on the receiving end of her crazy.

So many questions.

RBNS Contest Entry No. 8

RBNS Contest Entry No. 7

RBNS Contest Entry No. 6

RBNS Contest Entry No. 5

RBNS Contest Entry No. 4

RBNS Contest Entry No. 3

RBNS Contest Entry No. 2

RBNS Contest: Unearth Some More Very Important Julia Moments

We welcome submissions. We reserve the right to withhold if they are too tasteless and/or porny, but we can assure you we will privately laugh ourselves silly.

Julia: No. Please No.

With [REDACTED!!!] at Mass General - he’s getting his blood filtered. That means it’s filtering put white blood cells and stem cells. Then they’ll freeze the stem cells, until he needs them.

Julia: Faking It ... Again?

A commenter who was in attendance at Jackles's MIT ZOMG ZOMG speech the other night reports:

"the pictures above are totally staged. she gave her entire talk sitting down at a table. she took a few pictures sitting down after the talk pretending like she was lecturing. after that, she left. my guess is that she actually went through the trouble of coming back to the room to take pictures of her "lecturing" from the podium. so, like everything else she does, the pictures were fake..."

I am beginning to think that Jackles is a comedy act. Imagine actually doing that seriously? Posing at a podium after your presentation and pretending to talk to the crowd in your silly ass-baring figure-skater outfit? It has to be a joke, doesn't it?

If not, and it's true these photos were staged, poor Jackles is even more mentally unwell than any of us have ever imagined.

Yulia: This is in a classroom at an elite American university

At MIT Sloan today.
PS. A special thank you to CD for letting me borrow her blouse at the last moment when I found I had nothing to wear. And for the reader who emailed me about the skirt - it’s H&M, actually! One of my favorites. :)

No, really. I am in the shock. I did not realize that prestigious universities are now lectured to by sad, painted old whores. WHAT HAPPEN TO YOUR COUNTRY, PEOPLES?!?!?

Yulia: The hooker goes to M.I.T.

With Andrew Roin, my high school debate partner and a first year student at MIT Sloan. We were the worst debaters, pretty much ever. And we fought like brother & sister. In fact, I once threw an accordion of evidence at his head.

We also went to senior prom together! (after Dan dumped me, leaving me dateless two weeks before the dance. Bad Dan!) And I once made the mistake of visiting him in London for a week when he studied abroad there. Disaster. Never again. ;)

With Miss Lena Chen after my talk at MIT Sloan. :)

So Poofy squeeze herself into prostitute outfit, have pimp do her makeup, slide into black tights, hike skirt up to her bosom and skip off to address students at very prestigious university where she go to TALK ABOUT BUSINESS. WHAT MUST THEY HAVE THINK OF HER? My jaw is on floor of barn where my swine Perchik is nursing bad case of flu, peoples.

Julia: Rosie O'Donnell Thinks She's a Creep

From Roger Friedman's gossip column:

ROSIE TWITTERED BY HER OWN MRS. KRAVITZ

Remember Gladys Kravitz? She was Samantha and Darren’s nosy neighbor on “Bewitched.” She was always spying on them, and then trying to report it to her uninterested husband. Thank goodness she didn’t have Twitter!

Last week, Rosie O’Donnell and her wife, Kelli, got a taste of Kravitz from Julia Allison, a self-promoting Twitter addict who’s on a campaign for fame at any cost. She heard the O’Donnells fighting in their apartment, then sent the world out a Twitter blast. (If there’s a co-op board in that house, I wonder what they’ll make of this.)

Rosie and Kelli are nonplussed. They’re used to it. Tonight, Rosie’s Broadway Kids has a big fundraiser at New World Stages, Kelli is working on her seven day family cruise from Seattle to Alaska in July. (Check out www.rfamilycruises.com.)

Says Rosie, with a laugh, via email: “we r ok
life with 4 kids in the spotlight isn’t easy / but we always come thru.”

She says of Allison, who came to the O’Donnells’ door with at midnight with “a bottle of wine and a puppy”: “I wouldn’t know her to look at her…Creepy.”

Julia: More Deep Thoughts, This Time About Food

I allowed myself to have cookies or pasta. I stopped dieting and I started living life. That’s how I lost 37 pounds.

- Monica Seles Talks About Binge Eating - NYTimes.com

Jackles posted this "deep thought" from Monica Seles shortly after posting the photo of cupcakes she was apparently about to hoover in Boston. Oh Jackles. There's really no need to go frantically looking for celebrity justification when you fall off the cupcake wagon.

Let's just address this head-on before we get accused of

a. Being assholes for addressing her appearance
b. Having no lives

What is interesting about Jackles's change of appearance in the last few months is not that she's fat, in my opinion, although that skinny Russian bitch might disagree. She's not. She's simply not a bonerack anymore, and what is fascinating about this transformation is watching the way a notorious narcissist who has based not just her entire "career" but almost everything in her adult life on flaunting her previously slender and spectacular figure is grappling with how to spin it. She has spun everything about herself with lies, mistruths, strategic omissions of information, exaggerations, etc. And here is something she cannot spin, she cannot hide, she cannot cover up, she cannot control without Photoshop. An image-control freak*, Jackles has lost control of her image for the first time since she pushed and elbowed and clawed her way into Internet stardom. The fact that the change in appearance comes right when she had hoped to extend her fame with that TMI Weekly shitshow makes it even more compelling.

Jackles lies all the time about her men, her friends, her associations, her business opportunities, her "tech" experience, etc., not just to her "fans," but to her friends and family. And here is something she absolutely cannot lie about. I am sure she's thought of ways to spin it, but no Bravo reality show executive ordered her to gain weight, and no wealthy tech gazillionaire told her he preferred meatier women. Like millions of other people in the world, including all of us, her body changed, and there's no way to spin it into something that makes her SO. SO. HAPPY. Instead she has to decide, like all of us, to either accept her new figure or to do something about it. And if she blogged about it honestly and with some humility, her "lifecast" might actually be interesting for a change. I actually think the glee about her change in appearance isn't so much that anyone actually thinks she's a heifer but that for the first time, this fameball freak cannot torque reality in her favor.

* A commenter noticed this hilarious example from this weekend of Jackles out with the teens and re-situating herself so that her "good side" is in the shot. I laughed harder at this than any photo ever taken of her. Too, too funny:

She poof, I back

As a comparison, here’s me, the fall of my senior year.
With my 5 year college reunion coming up at the end of May, I had to get back in touch with my undergrad side. ;) hahahaha

So many sorries, peoples. I have been SO. BUSY. LATELY.

I am ask to speak at University of Pereslavl-Zalessky to give presentation about headbands and cupcakes (the art of which I perfect here in my homeland by studying Poofy from afar).

You be happy to know that presentation was major success. I present Power Point presentashe in which I show my cow Krystal as the new member of my Omskcasting team, and the peoples applaud mightily.

In the meantime, it appear that Yulia lose her mind in Boston and then post pics of her previous life in Georgetown, where she go for four full years (hahahahahaha).

I love being back on college campus. Don't you?

Oh! I also fellate three sophomores last night. FUN TIMES!!!!!!!

Brother Britt: A Particularly Proud Moment

I wonder what can be done about this situation now that she has steadfastly refused the exorcism. And the exorcist came so highly recommended to Mother, too. But, alas, even after the Easter debacle, my poor demented sister refused his services.

As for this weekend, I assure you there is a special kind of shame involved when your older sister comes to town and spends quality time with vomiting teenagers. In two years she will be 30. I hang my head in shame and continue to wonder what went wrong and when, oh when, will it right itself.

Julia: Before and After

Our commenters point out the stark contrast in Jackles's appearance in these two photos. The photo in the black dress was taken Thursday night. The photo in the white dress was taken 24 hours later, on Friday night.

Here's another photo from a different angle from the Thursday night "speaking engagement" held in what appears to be the seediest basement pub in Manhattan.




Let the commenter body-snarking brawling begin!

(Thanks to the anonymous commenter who melded these two pictures together.)

Jackles: Two Page Six Mentions in One Month ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG!!!!

Jackles has probably read this online and masturbated to it several times already this morning.

Mary: Did She or Didn't She?

A number of our agents who say they have conversed with Rambo previously e-mailed her today and asked if she was drunk-commenting last night right here on RBNS. Nothing.

Someone also asked her on her blog if she was drunk-commenting here last night. Again, nothing.

This is, apparently, highly unusual. Rambo is apparently quite diligent about responding to e-mailed queries and usually answers questions on her blog.

And earlier this evening, this Tweet:

Off to the gym to work off this hangover

Julia: Still Blogging!

With the darling CD (my college roommate junior & senior year) at GOTO Boston’s Spring Charity Gala last night. I’m staying at her place in Back Bay while I’m in Boston. :)

BTW, I’m wearing a dress by Alice + Olivia, which made me feel like a princess, although more than one person at the lounge we went to afterwards asked me if I was “a bride.” Ummm … no.

I might be crazy, but I could swear this one was back-dated. We checked in earlier this morning and it wasn't up. I guess she doesn't want to draw attention to the fact that despite her promise to be offline all weekend, she is still blogging and Tweeting up a storm.

(UPDATE: I stand corrected. I thought they said a.m., not p.m. Oh dear. Too much vodka with RussianGirl last night. But I thought SHE WASN'T BLOGGING THIS WEEKEND?)

And Jackles looks like Old Jackles here. Odd.

UPDATED -- Julia's New Facebook Fans: A Recurring Feature

[REDACTED]: Don't know how I became a fan but don't care because you look pretty HOT to me babe ;)

UPDATED: To redact one of Jackles's fan's public messages on her public Facebook page complete with his public profile shot.

Mary: Showing Up Here Drunk?

Someone claiming to be Rambo -- and from a Houston IP address -- showed up in our comments last night and among other things, posted this:

Mary Rambin said...

THE FULL DEAL WITH ME, NONSOCIETY, AND JULIA!!

Okay, here it is.


Julia IS totally fan-worthy, and I support her in her efforts. I will ALWAYS support her. She helped make me who I am and I will ALWAYS be grateful for that.

All that said, I got to be honest with you, I was never a fan of Randi, and Julia's never-ending fawning over her. It was constant and got in the way of a lot of things we were trying to accomplish. Love the firl, but to be completely honest, knew that she would be "the beginning of the end."

And that is why I GOT OUT!

I still do want Julia to succeed, but I find it hard at times to just say "go with her vision". I ONLY GO WITH MY OWN VISION. I have control issues.

I know a lot of you probably don't think this is "really" me, Mary. Why don't I post it on my blog? To be honest? I don't need your support and/or need to send my readers to you. I admire the questions you bring up from time to time and am glad that you support me a little bit. But I will NOT throw myself under the train for you.

I am moving on.

And, btw, tell David Karp, the spell check on blogspot is WAY better than on tumblr. I'm just sayin.

KISSES to you all!!!

Mary

We have no idea whether it's really her or someone else who came on here several times last night from the same Houston IP address. We are going to e-mail her now and ask her to confirm whether it was, in fact, her.

But I admire the way she called me clueless. The thing is, though, Rambo, how would you know that she doesn't trash-talk you behind your back or tip blogs about you? What evidence do you have that she doesn't? Because we know that she does; one of us has been in the room when she did so. As we said, Mary: disengage from the loon for your own sanity. And Rambo? You're smart not to post any defence of Jackles on your own blog. You will lose readers that way, most of whom are reading you because they are so impressed that you broke free of a notorious lunatic.

Julia: Living Differently During a Slanket All-Nighter!

SLANKET!!!! from Julia Allison on Vimeo.

Julia: As If

juliaallison: I'm planning a no-camera-no-blog-no-Twitter-no-Internet trip. Sweet, sweet peace & quiet. :)about 2 hours ago from txt

Julia: Telling Facebook Stats

Thanks to the awesome (and dashingly attractive) Loren Feldman, who has dug up this graph that shows the sudden extreme upswing in Jackles "fans" on Facebook in the last couple of weeks.

And thanks to Milo at the Daily Telegraph for giving our hard-working commenters a shout-out on his blog.

UPDATE: It was, in fact, one of our commenters who first unearthed this graph.

Facebook Scandal Makes it Across the Pond

With no love for our RBNS commenters, who broke this story hours before Loren Feldman, bless his soul, Tweeted about it.

Julia: Lunacy On Full Display

Reblogging summary: Yada yada yada aren't I smart and funny for posing in the slanket blah blah blah blah I rock. Zzzz.

But this is worth a read. Analysis after the Jackles spew:

Friend: How was foo camp, btw?
Me: It was pretty awesome, actually. They treated me like a person, not like a girl.
Me: and we talked about ... The Future.
Me: and I ate a lot
Me: I have gotten very fat.
Me: But damn, I've been enjoying the food.
Friend: The food in nor Cal rocks and I bet they had some good chefs out there.
Me: See, here's the thing: I'll probably need to address this when a guy comes within three or four week's shot of seeing me naked. But since THAT doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon ... well. Bon-bons away.
Friend: hahaha interesting mentality, i wonder if my wife thought of things that way when were dating
Me: Um, she did. Every woman thinks that way, until they get married. and then they just don't give a shit, naked or not.

Hmmmmm. They treated you like a person, not a girl, you say? Could that be because for once, you put down the pancake makeup and the 1950s dresses and stopped thrusting the tits out and talking about cupcakes and headbands and the color pink?

And news flash, Jackles. Not EVERY WOMAN only stays in shape until after she's married, and then lets it go because they "just don't give a shit." No, only a certain kind of woman -- manipulative, game-playing frauds. Which is why I'm pretty sure you're not going to have to worry about anyone seeing you naked for awhile -- you are constantly advertising what a calculating headcase you are regarding the opposite sex, and you're pretty much any decent dude's worst fucking nightmare.

Julia: Accusations of Facebook Scheming

Sorry we're late on this, people; it was one of those days. Moving right along, suddenly Jackles has eight billion Facebook fans after hee-hawing about scheming with Facebook sister RANDI OMG OMG OMG ZUCKERBERG in Palo Alto just the other day.

Needless to say, the conspiracy theories are rampant.

Here is Jackles's passive-aggressive explanation on her Facebook page. (The "have a great day!" thing always kills me.)

Hi All, We switched everyone who had done a friend request for me who I didn't know and approved them for my public page instead. If you didn't do a friend request, you couldn't have been added. So everyone who was a "fan" first requested me as a friend. Pretty straightforward ... You can always un-fan me. Have a great day! x julia

As an RBNS commenter noted, the replies to this are pure hilarity.

why do i have to be a "fan?" why can't i be a "friend?" this hurts, a lot, julia.
22:56

Mini P.R. disaster. Looks like your 'fans' are a little emotional over it. And it's not even 'real!'
23:50

at 23:20 23 April via Facebook Mobile
Who are you?

at 23:36 on 23 April
So basically, you want to take people who want to be your friend, and turn them into your fans instead. That's very telling.

at 23:42 on 23 April
Wtf? I'm not a fan. This post is so embarassing for you.

at 23:24 on 23 April
I'm marginally offended that you don't remember me... you were even in my address book!

at 23:27 on 23 April
Duly un-fanned.

at 23:53 on 23 April
This is what happens when you are friends with Marc Zuckerberg's sister.

at 23:59 on 23 April
Like the royal/editorial "we"

at 00:02 on 24 April
Who the HELL are you?? Some 2-bit PIRATE HOOKER? What the plank!!

at 00:05 on 24 April
Um...no.

at 00:32 on 24 April
she's not a pirate hooker , i could almost guarantee that

at 00:39 on 24 April
i'm still not really sure what she is...

The Girls Debate Boxers Versus Briefs: Really? Really!

"I didn't even know this was still a debate," Jackles says.

No shit, Jackles. Because it isn't. Tell me, when was this interesting? Ever? Cosmo Magazine, 1986?

Other pressing upcoming episodes:

Bush: Leave it or wax it?
Blowjobs: Spit or swallow?

Tweets of Greatness

Jackles promising another "prize:"

juliaallison: I've decided my new codename is "1459." I will send a prize to whomever figures out & tweets what that means. hahahah

The replies:

rachaelosborn: @juliaallison Your 15 minutes are almost up! Where's my prize

molls: @juliaallison It was the name of a Sugar Ray album. It means you're on your last second of your 15 minutes of fame. Hey, 1997.

kjeaddy: @juliaallison 1459 is having only 1 second left until your fame is up

mikedizon: @juliaallison 1459 = I Love Julia Allisonnn ??!

bewuethr: @juliaallison - something with 15 minutes of fame?

Oh Jackles. Just like LIU -- Long Island University -- another oh-so-clever yay.com idea backfires.

Julia: More A-Game Content

David: I can't believe you're only following three people.
Me: Yeah.
David: At least follow *me*!

Yulia: She know peoples!!!

David Karp is here!

She dedicate like five posts to this visit from a human being.

I also know peoples. There is a young man named Edya who sometimes come to my cottage and put his penis in my hand. Is this similar arrangement?

Julia: Another Lie

Mary & I are in this fantastic documentary, Youth Knows No Pain, by the talented filmmaker Mitch McCabe, premiering this Tuesday April 28, 6:30 pm at the Walter Reade Theatre. Visit the Lincoln Center online box office to get your tickets! The film is showing one time only, and the screening is already almost sold out!

PS. Yes, that would be me in the small photo in the center at bottom - at Dr. Bobby’s getting restylane in my laugh lines. Too much laughing!

Huh. Remember when a commenter sent Jackles an e-mail asking her about what she gets injected into her face, and Jackles indignantly replied that she NEVER gets any injections, she simply sees Dr. Bobby for her acne!!!!

Mary called her out on the lie once on TMI Weekly Shitshow, as well. And here she is, caught in her lie once again. Sure explains the wonk eye. Sad:(.

UPDATED: Julia: Classy; Ashton and Demi Must Be Impressed

UPDATE: A commenter just made a good point. By reprinting Jackles's Tweet about about overhearing a famous celebrity having a fight with her spouse, we are repeating the gossip.

And so we have removed it.

To summarize: Jackles claims to have heard a celebrity who lives in her building having a knock-down drag 'em out fight with her spouse. But because she added a sad:(, it's perfectly acceptable that the woman who frequently decries the lack of decency, manners and respect for privacy on the Internet was airing someone's personal, private business.

It's shit like this that makes me not feel so bad when we post photos of her looking like hell. Why would anyone feel the need to Tweet that? Text message a close friend, yes. Tip Page Six? Why not, she knows the numbers and e-mail addresses off by heart. Tweet it to thousands of strangers including the celebrities she so desperately wants to befriend? No.

I noticed she deleted it soon after she posted it, but it lives on on Icerocket Twitter search.

Julia: Madly Ordering The Deletion of Photos Without Ever Reading RBNS

Apparently this was one of the photos Jackles so quickly ordered deleted from "Uncle Nate's" Flickr when our commenters linked to it. It's not THAT bad. Who would look great shot from that angle? And quite honestly, it makes her look like Heidi Klum compared to this:

Yulia: How is last summer 8 million years ago?

My heart literally started pounding when I saw this … um, yes, that would be nerves, thankyouverymuch.

Yes, she speak at the school where her brother go (and where he no doubt go screaming into night). Yes, she bring up magazine cover for bazillionth time (even though someone else do the invite, whatevs).

Stiil.

This. Happen. Two. Weeks. Ago.

DOES SHE NOT THINK THEY ARE GOING TO FIGURE OUT THE BAIT AND THE SWITCH?????

P.S. My poor slow cousin Bogdan has gouged eyes out with fork used for determining weather because he saw Easter photos of Yulia by accident. I not understand this person who put the cupcakes in her mouth.

Update! I not saying she fat. I saying she nuts. Just for clarificashe.

Julia Ex Writing His Memoirs

This should be interesting. Jackles must be beside herself with glee. I am sure she's already digging through her photo archives, ready to send him some shots for inclusion in which she looks ZOMG so skinny and hot in her pink ski pants!!!! ZOMG!!!

Let us not forget this subtle hatchet job she did on him. Maybe he'll return the favor and write something nasty about her. If he's smart, he'll make no mention of her. That would drive her craziest of all.

Julia: The New Year's Resolutions Post, Revisited

I think it's important for us to periodically look back at Jackles' looney-tunes list of New Year's Resolutions, the very list that caused the beginnings of the rift between her and Rambo. Remember those sweet halcyon days, when Jackles called Mary a "cranky bitch" for refusing to participate in the lunacy? Feast away!

p.s. It's good to see that, as promised, she's been really bringing that A-game content lately. Slanket, anyone?

RESOLVED: "Let it unfold" in 2009

Okay, ummm, errrr … I’ve thought about these for weeks - some for months - and so, as a result, this is pretty much the longest list of resolutions, ever (the Bible notwithstanding). I guess I just like resolutions! Anyway, the whole process inspired me - and that’s never a bad thing. I hope it inspires you, too.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH

The most important resolution I have for 2009 is existential, and I’m having touble summing it up in a few words: Let It Unfold. It has to do with what I wrote here: shucking the OBO principle - and also what I wrote here: Why I’m Happy. It has to do with being mindful, being considerate, with the golden rule and with karma. It’s about being a better person, but also about really being PRESENT, “in the moment,” fully aware. It’s about being honest, both with other people, and with myself. It’s about forgiving people, and forgiving myself - not the way we traditionally think of forgiveness, as something one must do when another has committed an egregious wrong - but as an everyday act of love. It’s about treating people well.

It’s also about something I’ve been musing over for the past few weeks. I feel that I’m at a turning point. 2008 was a frantic, frenetic year. It was a year of trying to prove myself, a year of hustling, a year of unbelievable highs and lows. It was a year of posturing, to a certain extent, and also a year of mad, raw ambition. It was a tiring year.

I don’t regret it - I needed 2008. I needed the experience and I needed the life lessons. Absolutely no one could have just explained to me in words what I learned last year - I had to go through it, step by sometimes-cringeworthy step. I’ll tell you, I’m not the same person I was January 2, 2007, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come.

This year, I need a little more quiet. More introspection. It will be a gradual shift, a natural shift, one that’s been coming for a while. I’ve achieved the goals I set out to achieve when I first came to New York four years ago. It’s time for new goals. I need time to figure out what sort of life I want to lead, and I think right now, I need to slow down. I’ve always been so frightened I’m going to MISS OUT on something somewhere that I have, in fact, missed out on many things - by simply not being fully engaged at that particular moment. In 2009, I resolve to take deep breaths and let it unfold.

You might not notice the difference at first, but by the end of 2009, I promise, what you see here will reflect, once again, a huge transformation.

So … in bullet form:

1. Let It Unfold.
2. Stop OBO’ing.
3. Practice Excessive Gratitude.
4. Be Present.
5. Slow down, breathe, stop trying so hard to prove myself.
6. Spend introspective time determining goals for next portion of my life.
7. Explore spirituality.

PERSONAL GROWTH

1. STOP PROCRASTINATING EVERYTHING.
2. BE ON TIME. (85%, at least. I’m at 15% now, so that leaves plenty of room for improvement.)
3. Sharply increase reliability dependability by not just saying yes to everything (Current JA Modus Operandi) and then hoping illogically that extra hours appear in the day, but instead carefully and accurately assessing my obligations BEFORE I commit, and then - after saying yes - FOLLOW THROUGH.
4. Try one new thing every week (yes, it’s the “let’s go to an Art Museum or a Serious Play” resolution! Nothing wrong with that. Although I’ll go beyond just those, hopefully.)*
5. Do one adventurous thing that scares the shit out of me every month (cliched examples: bungee jumping, skydiving, giving a keynote, wrestling with tigers**)
6. Travel somewhere outside the US on a significant cultural trip. Widen my perspective.
7. Spend some serious time outside of New York City this year.

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS

1. Create new, really adventurous relationships with people who challenge me to become a better, more intelligent, more interesting person and who are a positive influence on my soul and well-being.
2. Make a concerted effort to connect to old friends, and spend more quality time having long low key conversations with people who love me, instead of going to stupid events or dinners out.
3. Date responsibly - no drama. Don’t waste anyone’s time, and don’t let anyone waste mine. I don’t mean that any dating which doesn’t lead to a relationship is a waste (it’s not), I just mean: be considerate and only date those who are also considerate.
4. Have a caring, respectful relationship with a good man. Love would be nice, too.
5. Perhaps attempt to have a rousing sex life. Please note: I am in the process of figuring out exactly what I mean by this. Stand by.

HEALTH

1. Do something healthy every. single. day.*
2. CUT DOWN DRASTICALLY ON SUGAR. Limit sugar intake to TWO DESSERTS A WEEK.
   
3. SLEEP MORE! Shoot for being in bed by 1 am, lights out by 2 am. NO LATER THAN 3 am at least 6 nights a week! ABSOLUTELY NO MORE ALL NIGHTERS.
4. Start drinking antioxidant tea. Also, buy teapot. (I don’t drink much alcohol or coffee and I never touch soft drinks so I can’t cut down on that.)
5. Exercise - at that “gym” place down the street (or in the basement of my building) - at least three times a week, every single week.*
6. Take Lilly dog on walks in Central Park.
7. Buy a bicycle to ride.

PROFESSIONAL GROWTH

1. NonSociety Related: Perfect NonSociety 1.5, and launch NonSociety 2.0. Integrate contributors by Quarter 2 or 3 at latest. Raise angel investment money. Get views up to 3 million by April. Really bring A game content. Start NonSociety Book of Whenever the Hell We Want Club.
2. Write a screenplay.
3. Raise TMI viewers to 250,000 per episode by March, 500,000 by June, 750,000 by Sept, and a million by December 2009.
4. Plan a NonSociety Media-Tech conference in Quarter 4.
5. Meet Tina Brown and become involved in The Daily Beast somehow.
6. Give some great speeches.

* - this shall be recorded right there in this here blahhg.
** - no tiger wrestling shall occur, unless it’s with Princeton boys wearing tiger tails, and that’s not so much scary as kinky.

And finally, one more resolution, which doesn’t fit under any category:

1. I want to experience a little bit of magic every day.

That’s not too much to ask, is it? :)

Julia: More Scintillating Airport Coverage

Flight delay for our Jetblue redeye at SFO - with Caroline and Megs

It must be weird walking into an airport with Jackles. She must be like a kid in a candy store, unable to contain her excitement at the array of arrival and departure signs, gates and trash bins she might soon be able to snap and post breathlessly to her blog. An airport is a veritable content smorgasbord for Jackles!

Also, what the fuck?

shiralazar: love @juliaallison coverage of social web foocamp http://julia.nonsociety.com... (my blog to follow :) )

Tweets of Weirdness

randizuckerberg: Scheming in the facebook cafe with @juliaallison @davemorin @meghanasha about NonSociety on Facebookabout 2 hours ago from TwitterBerry

Mary: A Day of Full Disclosures

It would take up too much space to reblog them all here, but Rambo spent the day in full-out confessional mode today, coming clean about her finances, her life, who's sponsoring her, her policy on freebies and why she still wants to shoot Owen Thomas in the scrotum.

You can quibble with her on some points, but you have to admire the honesty and her insistence that her blog is not a "one-way street." Hello Jackles!

And she's also all up in the comments answering questions, even from someone named Captain Kirk who asked about her nipples.

And as one of our commenters is so fond of saying, she looks GREAT in orange!

Tweets of Greatness

MizSprinkles: @juliaallison why the fuck are you at a social media foocamp when you don't even employ comments on your site. you're a total fail.

Julia: Hoping to Teach at The Junior Girls Academy of How To Get Stuff For Free

Julia: But Aren't Those Taxi Cab Thingies Airing on Something TV-Like?

Exactly.

Julia: Even More Fascinating Content

with @RandiZuckerberg @ The Foo Camp!

Yulia: Nice day, velour sweat pants

I just let it go.

Also, my little goat Bela have hard birth today and have to eat her young, so I sympathetic.

YOU GO, POOFY!

(I am thinking she is going to move San Fran for the perm. Which is probably good thing. I just say.)

Anyone else with me heres?

Commenter Rewarded

Anyone who took the time to come up with this deserves their own post.

Mary: To The Rescue

At Forever 21 - Mary!! Can I get away with this jumper? I think no :(

Now you see, here is where Jackles and Rambo differ. Rambo quickly messaged Jackles: "No!!! Don't get the jumper!!!"

But had the shoe been on the other foot, we all know Jackles would have urged Rambo to snap up anything that made her look this bad.

Too bad there's little Rambo can do about this photo:

Poofy: Cheese dip

Applebees!!!!

She is in San Fran. She is at Applebee's.

I am in Omsk. I am at Uncle Vanya's (which has a very good fish and chip).

I not even know what this all mean.

Oh, yes I do!

Poofy is a disaster!! (Does she only wear the velour track suit [with the undwear showing] now? Fashion alert: MALL MOM!!!)