Sunday, May 17, 2009

Julia: The Braying Donkey Catalogue

This is the third and final chapter in our Jackles Trademark Poses Catalogue. Feast your eyes on this gaping piehole!














There's only one problem with this seemingly HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY, I'M A GAL ABOUT TOWN JUST LOVIN' LIFE!!!! pose. Sometimes it can go so terribly wrong:

37 comments:

  1. *dead*

    I think this stupid pose is also to detract away from her chipmunk cheeks. Still a fail.

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  2. What's her inspiration for this one. The Nanny?

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  3. I've been reading this blog for months, and this was the first time I've been inspired to write! Hello!

    So I saw this post and tried out the pose in a mirror! And then I got confused. Does a sound come out? Or she just holds her mouth like that?

    I can't figure out what's weirder. Holding your mouth open silently like Munch's "The Scream" while someone snaps a picture of you -- or making a sound like a laugh? Or something?

    I invite you all to try it -- making this pose -- and see what comes out!

    Best to all of you! Hi Julia!

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  4. I think it's a Silent Scream kind of thing, which explains the look of embarrassment on Rachel Sklar's face in that one shot.

    If not silence, then certainly some sort of HEEE-HAWWWW sound.

    Welcome, Anonymous. Pick yourself a funny name and come sit by us. Just ignore the trolls -- it's just one person who's off the meds.

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  5. "Silent Munch Scream" Yes.

    And Hello, 5:08. You know, similar to her lipsinking a pretend speech complete with hand gestures at MIT, I bet this pose is silent! And that's even more ridonk, don't you think?

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  6. Hi 5:08!

    I also think it's a silent scream thing for the most part, however, some of the pictures look like she actually hollers something. No. 2, for example or the one with THE magazine cover.

    This pose reminds me of baby birds opening their beak as wide as possible when one of the parents arrives with food. So maybe she makes some kind of begging feed me sound to photographers?

    Still, how awkward it must feel to just randomly open your mouth.

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  7. Looks pretty porn to me. Not to be gross, but it reminds me of that final cliche'd shot where the girl proudly shows how much she's swallowed. Which, in this context, has its connotations.

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  8. IS: And not just open your mouth, but wrench it open as widely as possible.

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  9. Is she auditioning for something?

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  10. You know, Jacy, some people are known to have dislocated their jaws doing that. Now that would be an interesting picture, although I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone.

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  11. For someone who goes on about things being tacky, this chick is the tackiest dame in existence.

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  12. I think it's actually supposed to be uhhh, like a HAPPY EXCITED BIG SMILE face. Kind of the IRL equivalent of the :D emoticon, or something.

    Except her face is so pumped fulla bullshit that she can't form a proper smile anymore. It just looks like she's waiting for someone to teabag her.

    I'd photoshop that but that's nasty.

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  13. i'm too embarrassed to log in and take credit for making this, but i thought you all would enjoy it. try not to let it give you nightmares

    http://i41.tinypic.com/e9ul3t.gif

    (reposting this comment because originally i put it on the wrong post. woops)

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  14. Love that! I like that you managed to get some gangsta signs in there as well. I notice she has stopped doing that, just as she no longer says ineffable, due to all the ridicule.

    I wish I could somehow put that in the RBNS banner but I have no idea how to attempt such a thing. I will ask one of the smarter people.

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  15. jacy,
    hmm...for some reason it's coming up under the site description at the top....

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  16. yaay.com! it's fixed but the reblogging nonsociety header isn't showing up anymore. is anyone else having this issue??

    ps
    thanks for putting the gif up. i'm so proud!!

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  17. OH MY GOD! I cannot make it go away! So funny! It's like a virus or something that cannot be cancelled!

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  18. She is a complete BUSHPIG.

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  19. In high school (HIGH SCHOOL!), my friends and I caught each other making this face in photos so often we started doing it intentionally. We called it the "Look At Me!" pose. I think it's pardonable or at least a little bit ironic when there are other people in the frame. I once remembered the "Look At Me!" fondly. She ruined it.

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  20. I keep hitting "cancel image" and it won't let me cancel it. It's quite hilarious. WE'VE CREATED A MONSTER!

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  21. 7:13

    i wouldn't wish that on anyone. no matter how much i hate them. you're a fucking idiot.

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  22. Nah. Not a "fucking idiot." Just really young and silly. One's supposed to grow out of such habits.

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  23. 7:15: Comment killed.

    And so is the crazy header. It was an IE issue.

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  24. I missed it! I can only imagine. Jacy trying to delete, delete, delete, the ever blinking jules.

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  25. Julia is a great source of embarrassment for her father and me. We are at our wit's end.

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  26. It's back!!! It's as wacky as a wonk eye.

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  27. noooo........i miss it already

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  28. Did this ever get posted from last week?

    http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/05/the_unseen_moments_of_the_whca.html?imw=Y&f=most-viewed-24h5

    "Julia Allison told Rachel Leigh Cook she looked just like that actress Rachel Leigh Cook (Cook gamely replied that people usually think she's Christina Ricci, and are then disappointed)."

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  29. In her latest post, Loon Lady is comparing herself to (ready?) Hunter Thompson. She's off the charts.

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  30. Jack the BulldogMay 17, 2009 at 8:11 PM

    Wow. Just. Wow. The comparison with the great Hunter Thompson, someone Julia probably hasn't even read--he didn't write airport books--might be the most offensive thing the jackass has yet written.

    Currently in San Diego. Isn't the braying one supposed to be here soon? Doing some sort of exhibition with Orca?

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  31. julia who? past, over

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  32. I can't decide which one of these she looks like a bigger moron in. But I think I will go with the second one. Did she really think that jump in the air "whoo!" pose would EVER look good? That's a "real" photoshoot too. Probably one she had to put together herself, because she works so hard people! I can see her telling the photog, "Ok, I think I'm gonna jump in the air from side profile and kinda go 'wha!' and it'll look really great and so adorable, make sure you get my ass from this angle." FAIL.

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  33. Anon10:17: I am thinking of a poll in which we vote on which pose is the most ridiculous: Kissy-Face, Blowing Kisses or Braying Donkey?

    What do you think?

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  34. Wow she really is so beautiful.

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  35. I would pay big bucks to see video of her jumping around like a maniac for that second photo. If that's the best one, the rejected shots must be COMEDY GOLD.

    She looks completely deranged, and I can't imagine why she would allow all these hideous gaping maw photos to be made public. I would have committed homicide to stop their publication, if I looked like that.

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  36. Caption for second photo: Invisible NBA Player's Dick.

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