Sunday, May 17, 2009

Julia: The Braying Donkey Catalogue

This is the third and final chapter in our Jackles Trademark Poses Catalogue. Feast your eyes on this gaping piehole!














There's only one problem with this seemingly HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY, I'M A GAL ABOUT TOWN JUST LOVIN' LIFE!!!! pose. Sometimes it can go so terribly wrong:

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37 comments:

  1. EncycloTooliaMay 17, 2009 at 4:59 PM

    *dead*

    I think this stupid pose is also to detract away from her chipmunk cheeks. Still a fail.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 5:04 PM

    What's her inspiration for this one. The Nanny?

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  3. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 5:08 PM

    I've been reading this blog for months, and this was the first time I've been inspired to write! Hello!

    So I saw this post and tried out the pose in a mirror! And then I got confused. Does a sound come out? Or she just holds her mouth like that?

    I can't figure out what's weirder. Holding your mouth open silently like Munch's "The Scream" while someone snaps a picture of you -- or making a sound like a laugh? Or something?

    I invite you all to try it -- making this pose -- and see what comes out!

    Best to all of you! Hi Julia!

    ReplyDelete
  4. JesusMay 17, 2009 at 5:11 PM

    I think it's a Silent Scream kind of thing, which explains the look of embarrassment on Rachel Sklar's face in that one shot.

    If not silence, then certainly some sort of HEEE-HAWWWW sound.

    Welcome, Anonymous. Pick yourself a funny name and come sit by us. Just ignore the trolls -- it's just one person who's off the meds.

    ReplyDelete
  5. EmilyMay 17, 2009 at 5:15 PM

    "Silent Munch Scream" Yes.

    And Hello, 5:08. You know, similar to her lipsinking a pretend speech complete with hand gestures at MIT, I bet this pose is silent! And that's even more ridonk, don't you think?

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  6. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    Hi 5:08!

    I also think it's a silent scream thing for the most part, however, some of the pictures look like she actually hollers something. No. 2, for example or the one with THE magazine cover.

    This pose reminds me of baby birds opening their beak as wide as possible when one of the parents arrives with food. So maybe she makes some kind of begging feed me sound to photographers?

    Still, how awkward it must feel to just randomly open your mouth.

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  7. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 5:18 PM

    Looks pretty porn to me. Not to be gross, but it reminds me of that final cliche'd shot where the girl proudly shows how much she's swallowed. Which, in this context, has its connotations.

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  8. JesusMay 17, 2009 at 5:21 PM

    IS: And not just open your mouth, but wrench it open as widely as possible.

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  9. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 5:22 PM

    Is she auditioning for something?

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  10. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    You know, Jacy, some people are known to have dislocated their jaws doing that. Now that would be an interesting picture, although I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone.

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  11. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 5:32 PM

    For someone who goes on about things being tacky, this chick is the tackiest dame in existence.

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  12. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 6:41 PM

    I think it's actually supposed to be uhhh, like a HAPPY EXCITED BIG SMILE face. Kind of the IRL equivalent of the :D emoticon, or something.

    Except her face is so pumped fulla bullshit that she can't form a proper smile anymore. It just looks like she's waiting for someone to teabag her.

    I'd photoshop that but that's nasty.

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  13. partypantsMay 17, 2009 at 6:51 PM

    Can't unsee.

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  14. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 6:58 PM

    i'm too embarrassed to log in and take credit for making this, but i thought you all would enjoy it. try not to let it give you nightmares

    http://i41.tinypic.com/e9ul3t.gif

    (reposting this comment because originally i put it on the wrong post. woops)

    ReplyDelete
  15. JesusMay 17, 2009 at 7:04 PM

    Love that! I like that you managed to get some gangsta signs in there as well. I notice she has stopped doing that, just as she no longer says ineffable, due to all the ridicule.

    I wish I could somehow put that in the RBNS banner but I have no idea how to attempt such a thing. I will ask one of the smarter people.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 7:08 PM

    jacy,
    hmm...for some reason it's coming up under the site description at the top....

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  17. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 7:09 PM

    yaay.com! it's fixed but the reblogging nonsociety header isn't showing up anymore. is anyone else having this issue??

    ps
    thanks for putting the gif up. i'm so proud!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. JesusMay 17, 2009 at 7:10 PM

    OH MY GOD! I cannot make it go away! So funny! It's like a virus or something that cannot be cancelled!

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  19. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 7:11 PM

    She is a complete BUSHPIG.

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  20. Let It UnravelMay 17, 2009 at 7:13 PM

    In high school (HIGH SCHOOL!), my friends and I caught each other making this face in photos so often we started doing it intentionally. We called it the "Look At Me!" pose. I think it's pardonable or at least a little bit ironic when there are other people in the frame. I once remembered the "Look At Me!" fondly. She ruined it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. JesusMay 17, 2009 at 7:14 PM

    I keep hitting "cancel image" and it won't let me cancel it. It's quite hilarious. WE'VE CREATED A MONSTER!

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 7:15 PM

    7:13

    i wouldn't wish that on anyone. no matter how much i hate them. you're a fucking idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Let It UnravelMay 17, 2009 at 7:18 PM

    Nah. Not a "fucking idiot." Just really young and silly. One's supposed to grow out of such habits.

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  24. JesusMay 17, 2009 at 7:23 PM

    7:15: Comment killed.

    And so is the crazy header. It was an IE issue.

    ReplyDelete
  25. EmilyMay 17, 2009 at 7:25 PM

    I missed it! I can only imagine. Jacy trying to delete, delete, delete, the ever blinking jules.

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  26. Julia's momMay 17, 2009 at 7:25 PM

    Julia is a great source of embarrassment for her father and me. We are at our wit's end.

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  27. EmilyMay 17, 2009 at 7:30 PM

    It's back!!! It's as wacky as a wonk eye.

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 7:34 PM

    noooo........i miss it already

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  29. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 7:52 PM

    Did this ever get posted from last week?

    http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/05/the_unseen_moments_of_the_whca.html?imw=Y&f=most-viewed-24h5

    "Julia Allison told Rachel Leigh Cook she looked just like that actress Rachel Leigh Cook (Cook gamely replied that people usually think she's Christina Ricci, and are then disappointed)."

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 8:01 PM

    In her latest post, Loon Lady is comparing herself to (ready?) Hunter Thompson. She's off the charts.

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  31. Jack the BulldogMay 17, 2009 at 8:11 PM

    Wow. Just. Wow. The comparison with the great Hunter Thompson, someone Julia probably hasn't even read--he didn't write airport books--might be the most offensive thing the jackass has yet written.

    Currently in San Diego. Isn't the braying one supposed to be here soon? Doing some sort of exhibition with Orca?

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    julia who? past, over

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  33. AnonymousMay 17, 2009 at 10:17 PM

    I can't decide which one of these she looks like a bigger moron in. But I think I will go with the second one. Did she really think that jump in the air "whoo!" pose would EVER look good? That's a "real" photoshoot too. Probably one she had to put together herself, because she works so hard people! I can see her telling the photog, "Ok, I think I'm gonna jump in the air from side profile and kinda go 'wha!' and it'll look really great and so adorable, make sure you get my ass from this angle." FAIL.

    ReplyDelete
  34. JesusMay 17, 2009 at 10:24 PM

    Anon10:17: I am thinking of a poll in which we vote on which pose is the most ridiculous: Kissy-Face, Blowing Kisses or Braying Donkey?

    What do you think?

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousMay 18, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    Wow she really is so beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Donkey UvulaMay 23, 2009 at 11:23 PM

    I would pay big bucks to see video of her jumping around like a maniac for that second photo. If that's the best one, the rejected shots must be COMEDY GOLD.

    She looks completely deranged, and I can't imagine why she would allow all these hideous gaping maw photos to be made public. I would have committed homicide to stop their publication, if I looked like that.

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousMay 23, 2009 at 11:25 PM

    Caption for second photo: Invisible NBA Player's Dick.

    ReplyDelete

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