Saturday, May 9, 2009

UPDATED: Julia -- Gearing Up For a Night of Jackles-Tastic Lunacy

UPDATE: Now with a photo!


Seriously considering double bagging my spanx tonight. Anyone ever tried that? breathingisoverrated

Just attempted to do a "smokey eye" - ended up looking more like a "black eye." oh, makeup.

Almost finished getting ready for #WHCD - approx 2.5 hours EARLY?!? This has never happened before.

I'm the only person I know who would go to DC for 24 hours & lug 3 formal gowns - and a slanket.

127 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Can I just throw in a little, I TOLD you so?

    Earlier:
    # @juliaallison I'm a reader and I thought you'd like to know that Nate, Chuck & Vanessa from GG are going to be at the dinner tomorrow nightabout 7 hours ago from web in reply to juliaallison

    Just now:

    juliaallison: @KatyFerry - OMFG. Disproportionately excited about that!!
    less than 20 seconds ago from web

    Oh and what do we think about the dress? She really went with the one discussed some threads below. I don't know.
    http://twitpic.com/4vg8l

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  3. It's prom nite at the asylum.

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  4. The dress was the worst of all of the possible choices. It makes her look funhouse mirror-type wide. The woman needs a stylist ASAP.com!

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  5. The dress is fine but the necklace reminds me of the Cache Rhinestone Necklace http://tinyurl.com/qepmho that Dr. Gary D.D.S. chose for Yulio several nights back.

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  6. A nod to the Gawker "stalking" post from yesterday:
    juliaallison Stalking @RandiZuckerberg in our hotel room at the Hilton. #WHCD ... @RachelSklar - stop emailing me and get your ass to the lobby! 9 minutes ago from web

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  7. dress looks ok ... smart move focusing on the hooters, the only thing she's got left ... but dear god don't tell me she's wearing the mid-west orthodondist wife's hairstyle again

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  8. OK bunnies!! The Vertolli woman's offer has been rescinded. Jankles wants everyone to know she is at the HILTON!!!!!!!!

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  9. "juliaallison Stalking @RandiZuckerberg in our hotel room at the Hilton"?

    Does that mean Randi's husband left again after briefly meeting his wife? Are the three of them sharing a room? Is he OK with that???

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  10. That dress is the worst one! I'm starting to think she's in on the joke because no one can possible think that 90s prom dress looks good. Her new angle is internet joke icon.

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  11. The mauve dress is my favorite but I think the layered pleated made her nervous. She probably thought it drew attention to her bootie. I think it does exactly the opposite. I'm thinking the dress she chose is rather old and upon further inspection hate the crystals in the doily sleeves.

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  12. Randi twittered yesterday about meeting up with her husband for his birthday weekend in DC. I highly doubt Jankles is sharing a room at the Hilton with the newlywed's. "Our" room is another massage of the truth. She is just changing there and, as she so aptly puts it..."stalking Randi." Brent must hate this hideous creature.

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  13. I agree, Anon 5:50. It's a Miss Piggy dress. I'm convinced that that's her new style icon.

    http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/File:Guidetolife.jpg

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  14. TJ - I agree, she so should have gone with the mauve, for the mere fact that it's a great departure from everything she usually wears. This is just same old same old...

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  15. @6:07----Yulia is very old fashioned. She's anti modern. The mauve dress would have been an easy way for her to put her foot in the water because that dress has a modern silhouette with classic/preppy details (her comfort zone). Departure!

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  16. That tiered one was so gorgeous. Want. She should have picked that one. Oh well, more bad pix for us to lulz over, guys!

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  17. Also, the event is at the Hilton

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  18. Are any of these commenters Kelly Kreth?

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  19. Just listening to the radio interview. Owen was the guest on RIGHT BEFORE Julia, telling them about what he's up to, and then she shits all over him with lies? Yeah, I officially will never understand Julia Allison. She is unhinged.

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  20. She just keeps rambling, and rambling, and rambling, and is playing victim hardcore. No one likes a whiner. Grow and buck up, idiot.

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  21. JA Bingo Square:

    Pics of Julia pulling the top layer of her dress to one side.
    http://tinyurl.com/r2v23v
    http://tinyurl.com/qfn56l
    http://tinyurl.com/q7j2oz

    I call this move the "side pull-out" which has many lovely connotations.

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  22. I forgot the two best, "side pull outs." Can't wait to see these tonight!

    http://tinyurl.com/o2nydy
    http://tinyurl.com/plw6ln

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  23. why does she close her mouth like that? I think it is so stupid.

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  24. TJ:

    She's just sharing by, you know, airing it out.

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  25. 6:42
    She's smelling her own cooch again, ya mean? She did that during the last TMI episode.

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  26. I think she is laughing at the camera man who said, "Look, lady. I can't keep snapping! Sorry! Move on!"

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  27. Lugging three gowns? Is she afraid she is going to gain weight on the way there? Does it happen that fast?

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  28. "It's my facebook and I'll cry if I want to! Cry if I want to!"
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3391122382/in/set-72157615910537413/

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  29. I wish the interviewer had called her on that.

    "What's that you say? Owen Thomas got laid off and is getting his karma? But he was just on the show, and he told us about his new job."

    LIAR

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  30. The upper part of the back of that dress was pretty, but other than that it's pretty matronly.

    Also can we talk about on twitter when people try to trend shit that will never be a trend? #breathingisoverrated ??? Yeah that's gonna be right up there with #startrek.

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  31. TJ: I am sure the establishment was thrilled to see those two buffoons in their stiletto heels walking on their leather chaises. Assholes.

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  32. "What's that you say? Owen Thomas is leaving Gawker to command the brand new tech office in SF!"

    "What's the you say? Owen Thomas will now have health insurance!"

    ....Yeah, Karma really is a bitch, Jackles.

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  33. owen should do something about it. it seems like they've slandered him repeatedly (ja and mr). they accuse him of lying in his job as a writer and offer nothing to back up their claims yet present them as if they're fact. if i were owen i would address it. for example mary accused him or falsehoods in his stories on her, i think julia did too, then when asked about it her answers did not support her claims AT ALL.

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  34. TJ:

    No, she's being generous to others! Her entire life is dedicated to jerking off--airing out her cooch is her idea of buying the world a Coke.

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  35. God, if she'd only wear the slanket as an overcoat to the evening's festivities, all would be right with the world.

    Come on jules, put on slanket like a rob, pull one side over almost like a wrap dress, and pin with a rhinestone brooch. That's all you need to keep you warm.

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  36. @6:52 I'm so glad that cooch is free of all hair, that way it will really air itself out!

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  37. ...And may I also recommend this purse

    http://tinyurl.com/o3h9bx

    Yulia, I am available for styling opportunities and would be happy to guide you through your next event. My fees are very reasonable and nothing that "let it unfold" grandma couldn't afford.

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  38. i think jackles could do a whole series of TMI episodes on that bag alone, TJ.
    something to keep her occupied when she's in chicago this summer... hopefully at a mental institution.

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  39. Dirty Lake MichiganMay 9, 2009 at 7:09 PM

    TJ... I spit out my ice water when I clicked on that pic!
    Niiiiiiicce!!

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  40. Ok, if you want any information of what's going down at nerdprom, Rachel Sklar is a better bet than Poofy.
    http://twitter.com/RachelSklar

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  41. Let's see if she does her pose on the red carpet like the delusional weirdo she is:

    http://www.c-span.org/Watch/Program/2009/05/09/HP/R/41944/2009+White+House+Correspondents+Dinner.aspx

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  42. Yeah, but she'll probably arrive five hours late...

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  43. barfalicious! love you guys!

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  44. Is it wrong that I like that purse? It goes along with my secret desire to own 15 cats and never wear anything but a slanket.

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  45. predictions for who poofy takes pictures with tonight? eva longoria parker, michelle obama, rachel sklar, randiZZZ, and of course CHUCK BASSSSSS ZOMG!

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  46. I hope tonight's dress closes all the way in back:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wmsproductions/3391128494/sizes/l/in/set-72157615910537413/

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  47. Boring. She shows her tits again. What a shocker. And that fucking kohl rimmed eye is terrible. Jesus Christ she paints all that shit on. She looks 40, as always.

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  48. I never comment here. But, I really don't like JA and I'm watching c span pre-coverage of the dinner and there she is -- right in front of the frigging camera. She's planted near Bloomberg. Reprehensible.

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  49. If someone Twitters with a #WHCD something like: What is that idiot Julia Allison doing here? it should show up in the C-Span feed.

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  50. hah! WHCA eliminated dessert from menu! jackles howls!

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  51. Also, it should be noted: She is fat now.

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  52. #nerdprom correspondentMay 9, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    I heard that people want their seat changed! They are next to her!! They're humiliated!!

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  53. Gary Klein, D.D.S.May 9, 2009 at 8:57 PM

    Look at these nasty comments people are making about my Julia:

    MandaPandaD: #WHCD #nerdprom What is that big idiot Julia Allison doing here?

    JessicaWakeman: why the fuck does Julia Allison get to go to the White House Correspondent's Dinner?

    She's such an angel. I don't understand.

    Total Jing - I did good with the necklace, didn't I? Just wanted to make sure my princess looked gorgeous. And she does!

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  54. MandaPandaD: #WHCD #nerdprom What is that big idiot Julia Allison doing here?

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  55. If she sucked in her cheeks anymore to keep it from looking like she has fatty moon face the world would implode. Also does she think she is fooling anyone with this tired pose... 1. sucked in cheeks, 2. slightly uplifted shoulders to give collar bone definition through the chub, 3. strain neck forward looking down slightly to rid your self of any unsightly double chin action, 4. purse lips, 5. obviously hoisted rack...

    she's vile

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  56. bullshit:

    Meeting at MTV to discuss Facebook collaboration on a new show. Randomly bumped into @juliaallison in the lobby, here for a top secret gig!

    (from RANDI ZZZZZZZZZ)
    top secret my ass. randomly my ass.

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  57. Whatever, I'm outtie. Slanket and cupcake time for me. I get dessert and I didn't even have to lug around 3 ballgowns on the Chinatown bus!!

    ;* (btw that is a wonk eye/blue steel/kissy face emoticon...just for u bunnies!).

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  58. narcissist headbandMay 9, 2009 at 9:11 PM

    LOL nomsociety...love the emoticon!!!
    ugh this whole WHCD thing is depressing me. she did pick the wrong gown though. should have gone with the mauve. yeah, her tits look good, but her arms and face look fat. it does nothing for her lower half neither.
    usually don't body-snark on miss JABs, but i'm pissed that she continues to get invites to these things.

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  59. Also I'm ashamed she is in my home town/ current local reeking havoc ... how does she bust her way into these things? Someone should let Secret Service know she is a threat...

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  60. what to make of this?
    CIAoperations: Randi Zuckerberg has left Maryland for D.C. and the #whcd. @juliaallison will be informing us all.
    BB;* (headband with bow/dr. bobby b-induced wonk eye kissy face)

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  61. I am listening to the CNN feed and I swear to God I can hear that donkey braying.

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  62. how does she have three gowns? did she really get three on loan to her? grrr

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  63. she is now twittering about how HILARIOUS obama is -- spoken like a true moron who has never paid any attention until tonight because she's too wrapped up in her own inane existence

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  64. oh my god i just saw her on the cspan feed and her face looks enormous ... kirstie alley territory

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  65. Julia and Rachel Sklar are having a potato sack race for the most vapid tweet of the evening.

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  66. She had her huge face trained on the camera. Hilarious! SHe also has let her hair down, no bobby pins!!

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  67. RE: 10:07 YEAH. WOW. POOR JULIA

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  68. she is so swollen in the face now it doesn't even look like the same person.

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  69. OH. MY. I just saw Jankles on camera. She's got some SERIOUS double chin going on. Good to know the Blueprint cleanse is working!

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  70. You just know she got the seat with the best angle for a camera shot. Everyone around her was looking up to the dias in the opposite direction and she was staring at the camera.

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  71. 10:07 & 10:08: It was so creepy! She was staring right into the camera -- the only one in the shot not looking at the president as he spoke. Freaky. Weird smile on her face, straight-on, not her side pose.

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  72. She's let herself go so far she couldn't get a seat on the D.C. Ho Bus. Which is saying something.

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  73. I beg of someone to do a Photoshop of a braying mule in the gown she's wearing.

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  74. Expiration Dating ColumnistMay 9, 2009 at 10:49 PM

    Why is she even attending? She doesn't communicate anything wotrthwhile.

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  75. Gary D.D.S. You did perfect!!! I live in Lakeview, across the street from a designer dental salon, is that your office??? Can you come over and bring me diamonds and bone me before BF gets home??? I'm free from 4-5:30 with NO interruptions!!

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  76. Can someone do a photoshop with the brooch bag, jules bod, and braying mule on top.

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  77. here's a screenshot of kirstie, i mean julia allison that i painstakingly created for all my fellow snarkers

    http://yfrog.com/0mpicture1ljap

    ....yikes.

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  78. So it's clear now how she got there at the dinner. On apr 20 @lila202 tweeted to julia to help her get mark zuckerberg to be her guest at the whcd. Of course he's lame in public so randi is in his place and jackles gets in as a +1.

    Coattails for 1000, Alex.

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  79. Justin Timberlakeis hilarious on SNL tonight.

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  80. Tim Russert's Spinning CorpseMay 9, 2009 at 11:55 PM

    ms. bojankles! Excellent job on the screenshot!

    Jacy, or the powers that be, you REALLY need to create a new thread with this image. Jebus! She's got some SERIOUS JABA THE HUTT jowlage going on.

    And how fucking embarrassing that everyone is turned towards the front, towards the President, and she is turned the other way to look at the camera. So disrespectful. What a vile pig.

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  81. i swear during those few seconds she is on camera you can hear donkey braying. there is definitely some sort of disturbing cough/hack/laugh thing going on.

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  82. juliaallison Heading over to the Capitol File party w my @RandiZuckerberg & @Lila202 - & we were just on cspan!!!! 26 minutes ago from txt

    Is she referring to the part where she's the only one looking at the camera, and also braying, with nose in her cooch OR did she give an interview?

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  83. Gary Klein D.D.S.May 10, 2009 at 12:04 AM

    Total Jing! You're a bad little girl, aren't you? Sounds like someone needs a spanking!

    Sorry, that's not my office. BUT, you put on the Catholic School Girl outfit (don't forget the white ankle socks w/lace!) and chill a box of Franzia Sunset Blush wine? Dr. Gary will be over faster than you can say 'Randi Zuckerberg's Coattails'!

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  84. Julia's a little old for MTV's demo.

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  85. Tim Russert's Spinning CorpseMay 10, 2009 at 12:08 AM

    ms. bojankles - Every time I look at that photo, I swear to GOD I can hear the braying in my head!

    You know what would be awesome? If someone created an animated GIF using that photo + audio of Jankles braying. Just sayin'.

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  86. That WOULD be awesome!

    There was that one of her on the pool. Then again, any old braying donkey audio would do.

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  87. Tim Russert's Spinning CorpseMay 10, 2009 at 12:17 AM

    Jacy -

    I remember that clip. That audio would be perfect! Wish I had mad 'puter skillz, would definitely put something together.

    Howevah...I do know a little photoshop. Maybe I'll work on the braying donkey + Jankles WHCD dress. Let me know where to send it + I'll email it to you.

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  88. As soon as I saw Jackles on the telly, I honest to God thought it was a drag queen. Seriously- isn't there an old make-up adage that says that you should only emphasize one part of your face at a time? Dramatic eye OR lip, but not both? We have a lot of cross-dressers where I'm from, and her make up reminded me of a night out at the gay bar. Only- those guys actually look feminine. Has she seriously not gotten the clue about the clown make up? Also- why on Earth was she looking at the camera when NO ONE ELSE was? Way to be respectful of the President.

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  89. Tim: jacyandrussiangirl@gmail.com

    Either RG or I will see it! Thanks!

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  90. Randi looks like she is cringing. When will she get it that Jankles is a gigantic bore.

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  91. I am don't have photoshop, so this was made in MS paint, but was fun to make!

    http://i562.photobucket.com/albums/ss64/JuliaAllison/JowliaAllison.jpg

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  92. Can just imagine Julia Allison's audio:
    "Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Look! It's the television man! I'm on the television. Randi! It's the television people Huh!Huh! Huh!"

    What a disrespectful tool.

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  93. A c-span camera panned over an audience she was sitting in. She bragged about this.

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  94. i know. she made it sound as though they were interviewed. tool. tool. tool.

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  95. 1:28 That's her "lawyer" language thing. Not technically a lie but suggests a pretty different picture than the real one. Seems to be her MO.

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  96. Nice screen grab. She looks like the poster child for swine flu.

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  97. Just a reminder that Meghan Asha used to date Dr. Bobby in an attempt to fill her "baron heart." Carry on.

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  98. Expiration Dating ColumnistMay 10, 2009 at 2:08 AM

    She's got chins.......
    She knows how to use 'em.....

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  99. Her head needs to be double bagged.

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  100. Ms Incorrigible oneMay 10, 2009 at 2:11 AM

    BINGO!! I called the foot pain twit! What a predictable barren wasteland.

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  101. Wow. Truly better than I had hoped, and getting more Norma Desmond by the day.

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  102. Dr Gary I just wanted to say I have a box of sunset blush in my fridge right now thanks to a prtygoer. no joke.

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  103. 1. From her twits it doesn't seem like many people worth name dropping could be bothered to talk to her and, brilliant musician or not, how old is John McLaughlin, 67?

    juliaallison: John McLaughlin invited me to his brunch. Hahahhahah
    about 4 hours ago from txt

    Not sure what's so funny about that, though. She probably doesn't know who that is.

    2. Referring to the POTUS as fucking hysterical demonstrates hitherto unseen levels of eloquence and reflection.

    3. Also, some things clearly aren't meant to be:

    juliaallison: Tonight redefined "epic" - only blemish? I didn't meet @callmebritish. Grrrr!!
    about 2 hours ago from txt

    Although I would have loved to see the cool kids blow her off.

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  104. so her parents are rightwing political fundraisers and that's how she got a ticket?

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  105. wow, she is really fat. when did this happen?

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  106. Ironic Slanket, McLaughlin is in his 80s - borderline senile and a dirty old man. In other words, perfect for Julia Allison / Julia Baugher.

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  107. The spitting image of Michael Jackson.

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  108. middle-aged nobody. not interested in her anymore.

    k thx bai!

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  109. Ooooh, redacted etc. (sorry, lazy), she was talking about THAT one. He always slips off my radar.

    Because Musician McLaughlin is 67 and from what I hear a decent guy.

    Guess my cultural trumps my media knowledge then...

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  110. Here's a picture of Jackles at the CityFile after party. She does not look small. She has a new pose. Look how she leans forward to show of boobs and hide backside and arms. (Slide 6)

    http://www.politico.com/blogs/dinnerdish/

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  111. And they still call her columnist? What column?

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  112. Yeah, kisses for the photographer, but no love for nonsociety. Hasn't even been a year yet, but clearly she's already editing that phase of her life out.

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  113. Yowza. That is a terrible picture, and from her bad side, which isn't really a bad side, except when she is being ridiculous, which is often.

    She needs a shoulder hair cut with bangs and other face framing layers. But her soocer-mom-dressed-up-like-a-RenFair-aspirant is the least of her misfires.

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  114. Oooo good catch on that photo showing her 'bad' side. How long before she starts pestering them to take it down?

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  115. I am just watching Rachel Sklar on CNN on that Howard Kurtz show and she's an idiot. No longer do I question why she hangs with JA. She talks like a vapid Valley Girl and had NOTHING to say compared to the other two on the panel, especially Joe Klein. Embarrassing.

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  116. Rachel Sklar hangs out with BrianVan. Enough said.

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  117. meet the new pose; infinitely worse and sadder than the old pose

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  118. McLaughlin is 83 and crazy as fuck.

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  119. @1:28 i think j* should marry McLaughlin, 83 and crazy as fuck, and get his money when she kills him

    great idea, am i right?

    also, i think this *is* the breakdown. i have no idea how anyone could get so fat so fast.

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  120. this is insanely brilliantly funny and mean http://theressomethingaboutmary.tumblr.com/post/105723117

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  121. lots of whcd mentions on gawker

    not 1 mention of j*@whcd on gawker

    the times they are a-changing

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  122. 6:23

    i heard the kelly kreth was a frequent commenter here...

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  123. I've been silent up to now, observing the trainwreck. But when my boyfriend actually said to me "I don't want to hear about this Julia Allison" the other night, and then I saw her last night in the middle of the President's speech, doing her "oh look it's zooming this way! best not to look studied right now!" pose into the camera, I yelped her name again ... and the withering look I got from him means I have to share a few observations.

    three throughts, in ascednding order of my feelings of pique:

    1. she's on Adderall. come on. no ifs, ands or buts about it. Stop with the bullshit "insomnia" talk and fess up to a dependence on uppers. many of us have done it. it's ok. but for god's sake, can't you kick the cupcake habit while you're all hopped up?

    2. random thoughts: her dress looked like ass, like an old woman's ball gown (where are her friends? guess that's why one needs iPhones); her blog SUCKS and never contains anything interesting; and, in a medium-fit of pique, I hate the fact that I keep reading the damn thing.

    3. JOHN McLAUGHLIN? I am so sad at the fact that she BRAYED his "invitation" as some sort of trophy. A stalwart of my living room for years, of course I deserve it more; but that aside, he should give pop quizzes to people rather than proffering invitations to his brunch. Even if it is as "private" as her dinner with Gloria Steinem.

    To conclude, two cliches:

    It's like throwing pearls before swine ...
    and you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

    Julia's chances and Julia's choices, perhaps? I am not sure - those just sprang to mind.

    - here ends the tirade.

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  124. And a fabulous tirade it was.

    Funnily enough, my BF actually despises her more than I do. He is on here more often than me!

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