Thursday, May 7, 2009

Julia: Oh My Nerves

First, there's this. Shot at Mary much?


BAM! "EXERISE ISN'T THE KEY TO GETTING SLIM"


This article - “The Exercise Myth” in the Daily Beast - is bound to be controversial!



Oh Jackles. "Bam?" Is that related to "Gotcha?" What, you're proud to have found an article that justifies your sloth?

Nothing in the piece is news. Who believes that you can eat endless calories a day but stay thin as long as you work out? Anyone? No. As the article states, getting in shape also requires you to put the fork down. People are eating too many calories. Any nutritionist will tell you that if you change your eating habits and combine it with steady exercise -- which will help speed up your metabolism -- you will lose weight.

Also, Jackles, are you ever going to stop Twitter-stalking Meghan McCain and Bonnie Fuller? It's embarrassing.

@McCainBlogette - Loved your piece on abstinence. You're absolutely right!! See you on Saturday at the dinner

@BonnieFuller - You are SO right. No envy! No matter how seemingly "perfect" someone else's life appears, remember this key word: SEEMINGLY.

46 comments:

  1. why would she twit-stalk bonnie fuller, didn't fuller fire her ass?

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  2. Clearly Julia -- whatever you are doing is not the key to getting slim. Eat fewer cupcakes, dumbass.

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  3. Aah yes, validate that laziness girl!!!
    Yeah, Julia Allison's plan to make herself the sassy yet relatable gal all women want to be friends with and all men want to sleep with is not really working. Stating the blindingly obvious, being a two-faced sycophant and dressing like a plump little girl is not earning any bonus points in the real world.

    All RBNS posts should be titled
    "Julia Allison: Title". Get those Google search results happening!

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  4. Wonkette doesn't agree with Julia Allison's view on McCain's post:

    http://wonkette.com/408396/meghan-mccain-reveals-nothing-in-new-column-about-nothing

    Actually, let them become friend, I think they would make a great team.

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  5. Also, I know Mary probably hasn't told her this, but the biggest, best reason to exercise is not weight loss but the additional health benefits.

    Women who exercise regularly and are not pencil thin will do better on most every health indicator than women who are juice-fasty, lazy, and model thin. Doesn't matter how big your butt is, only that you move it.

    So, Julia, please just go to the gym that is in your building and prance around a bit to get that heart rate up so that you don't expire at the tender age of 45. Or, actually, do what you like. I heard that cupcakes are good for the heart.

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  6. The ONLY way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you eat. It's basic, irrefutable science. Poor JABa, so desperate to justify her cupcake-cleanse-cupcake lifestyle, and doomed to be a lardass because she's so lazy and hedonistic.

    Exercise is essential because it not only helps burn calories, but strength training keeps muscle-fat ratios in a good place and prevents that "flabby thin" look that can happen to those who diet without exercising.

    So instead of getting off your ass and doing some actual hard work, Jules, just keep draping your immense pear-shaped bottom in foofy costumes and pretend that you still look hot.

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  7. The tweet to Fuller was too much. First, all irony is clearly lost on Julia. Secondly, even though she is SO NICE!!! SO SO NICE! she is clearly delighting in someone else's failure (and no the irony in me saying this is NOT lost on me, thank you very much).

    I actually took a look at Bonnie Fuller's twitter and it was chock full of completely vapid navel-gazing and judgment. I'm not sure why I was surprised.

    That said I will from now on think of Julia's tweets as only twits or twats. Seems fitting.

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  8. the sad thing is it's not even a direct insult to mary (i mean, it is in julia's mind) because mary has talked about the importance of eating healthy AND routine exercise. (i think it's tuesday? or monday?)

    even if girlfriend looks unhealthily stick thin, her message has been one of balance. this only proves that julia doesnt ever listen to anyone, even her BFFs.

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  9. Bonnie Fuller's sad, ridiculous tweets about Stephanie Seymour really reflect the fact that she was once envious, but now feels she doesn't have to be any more due to what sounds like an unfortunate divorce involving children. And of course Julia agrees. The last time I remember being jealous of another girl was in like 3rd grade. sad :(

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  10. Julia got auf'd soon after Bonnie got the boot, Bonnie was the one that hired her. So re: nomsociety, no surprise her twitter is as you found it. LOL. Furthermore, this: http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/isurvivedbonnie/

    Julia can "bam" exercise all she wants; with her terrible eating habits, she can take this line verbatim from the article and BAM it as well: "All the evidence suggests that exercise is less important than what goes in your mouth, and when.". So when you're sedentary and swapping between cupcakes, tea, secret alcohol and blueprint.. what would happen? HMM.

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  11. Hey - Julia is going to Burning Man - she needs those extra stores of fat for when she's getting back to nature out in the desert.

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  12. Bonnie is still envious. She's just taking pleasure in another's misfortune which, as a result, helps her feel less guilty for her insecurity - the ridiculousness of which she's blind to because she's a bit too egotistical. Julia envies every single person she passive aggressively attempts to diss, apparent particularly given that she's nowhere NEAR the strata to be talking about any of them in the first place anyway. Anna Wintour? She notes she smiled at her, then she gets obnoxious about her posture and speaking habits. Anna must have blown her off when she took the polite yet dismissive smile as an invitation to approach. When she becomes even a footnote in ANY industry, especially in comparison to Anna's extensive rep in fashion, MAYBE she can remark on her.

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  13. Julia Allison did not even make it to the end of the article, where it talks about how important it is to also have a HEALTHY DIET. But keep swigging juice and downing cupcakes... it's obviously working wonders for your doughy figure, Julia Baugher.

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  14. sorry, i have to interject with mary's latest post: "The depths of he’ll [sic!] are surprisingly nice and breezy."
    i mean, how...???

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  15. 8:26

    She must have blogged from her iPhone. Happens to me everytime I try that word. ;)

    She is still a lazy ass for not checking her posts before sending.

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  16. Psst.

    "Exercise" is spelled wrong in the title of the post.

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  17. what's funny is that Meghan and Julia are so the types to be like "Hey! Have you heard of this thing called Burning Man??? We should totes go to Burning Man! It's like SXSW mixed with Foo Camp mixed with Coachella, which I heard was cool too!". Next thing you know they'll discover Lollapalooza.

    I can just imagine all of the annoying videos of Julia being like overreacting ZOMG! HIPPIES! ZOMG! GRAY WATER!!!! ZOMG! PLAYA DUST IN MY HAIR EXTENSIONS!!!

    Actually, this is pretty much Reason #2817857 that I will be staying the hell away from Burning Man.

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  18. good eye, anon 8:36.

    and NomSociety, it fits in perfectly with what jakob wrote about julia: zero cultural knowledge. yea, i can't wait for the videos... "what, no showers?! i have to get dirty? ZOMG! PLAYA DUST IN MY HAIR EXTENSIONS!!!" (too funny, had to repeat it)

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  19. Bonnie Fuller's Twitter is nasty, smug and judgmental. What an ass. No wonder JA's sucking up. That's exactly the life she'd like to have.

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  20. And well, considering that she thinks wearing American Apparel spandex is so teh radical and ridiculous...she is in for a fucking eyefull at Burning Man.

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  22. Should be EXORCIST

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  23. Oh please please please let her go to Burning Man and work her kryptonit magic on all that idiotfest!

    Also, note to Jaba. Bring baby wipes and lots of them.

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  24. julia and her bunny acolytes...? maybe she'll feel right at home at bm.
    http://www.mccullagh.org/db9/1ds-10/burning-man-rabbits.jpg

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  25. jenny craig is looking for a spokesperson now that kirstie alley is too fat

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  26. I WANNA KNOW JULIA'S TUMBLARITY!!!11

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  27. Ugh. I just read Meghan's "area" of their little 3rd grade homework assignment for the first time in awhile and got really annonyed. If she says "geek out," "gadget," or some Leave it To Beaverism like darn and heck one more time, I will BARF.

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  28. Remember Meghanaise just recently discovered Ponzi scheme..when is she going to discover mental illness?

    Next Century?

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  29. Writing 101: Synonyms. Television 101: No pointing.

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  30. Slimming sekrets! cleaning 17 litterboxes daily, vodka and wine for dinner, pall malls for snacks.

    Yer welcome julia!

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  31. Burning Man has been renamed Heaving Cupcake.

    This is the perfect opportunity for Hoolia to extend her reach and find a whole new group of enemies.

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  32. TJ... you went to NYU.... huh?????

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  33. The image of Jaba strolling into Burning Man with her pancake makeup and Juicy Couture is too much....

    Also, it's very telling that she dismisses exercise for its weight-loss benefits. Quite frankly, I think her weight is just fine and she could really rock the curvy look if she wanted to (rather than hide in bizarre body contortions), but she is completely lost on the fact that regular exercise has a multitude of other benefits other than losing weight.

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  34. Julia at Burning Man, explained:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/loupiote/52107965/

    But she's really really not going to like the competition:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/loupiote/2849441075/

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  35. Yeah. If you wish REALLY really hard, then maybe exercise and diet won't have anything to do with being thin. Or not having the big ass you are toting around. Keep wishing. Or write it down... like in The Secret! Great idea. Thinner thighs for all!

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  36. It disgusts me that she's going to burning man. Is nothing sacred? Arrrgh.

    I know BM has changed over the years, but still. Maybe her burner name could be "Jankles."

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  37. Julia must have some kind of deal with lunch.com. They're pimping "older" reviews of her now on twitter! They twit about JA at least 3/day now.

    ReviewsOnLunch Cupcake Crack! (aka, the BEST CUPCAKES IN NEW YORK CITY!! Seriously.) by juliaallison http://lunch.com/t/7q6 5 minutes ago from Twitter4J

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  38. My hair is made of other people's hair
    My ass is made of cupcakes
    My face is made of plastic
    My brain is made of borrowings
    My hopes are made of old TV shows
    My dreams are made of money
    I'm going to Burning Man
    See you there
    I'll pose for you

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  39. Jack the BulldogMay 7, 2009 at 11:55 PM

    You need do three things to lose weight and maintain good health: exercise, eat properly, and get plenty of sleep. Any jackass should know this holy trinity, and no, Julia, eating properly does not consist of juice cleansers.

    Why do we bother? She's clearly invested in never learning from her mistakes or listening to anyone's sound advice. It's almost as if she has some bizarre form of autism.

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  40. JA tweeting Fuller and McCain is her jumpstart at sucking up to anyone going to the WHCD. With so many burnt bridges, she desperately needs new contacts.

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  41. Oh dear. Julia finally got a piece on the Daily Beast. I would say Tina Brown is creating a monster, but she's mostly just nursing one.

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  42. Meghan McCain = sponsorship.

    She's looking for a new playmate with $$$$$ and connections.

    So obviousl

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  43. tina brown has fallen that far? wow.

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  44. I thought it was pretty obvious she was very likely promoting lunch.com given how many times she's made a point to talk them up and the lengthy reviews she's posted there and made a big deal of linking to and talking about.

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  45. The thing is, TDB might hold a small amount of notoriety in the online field but that's SOLELY due to the Tina Brown connection and sensationalism surrounding her. As a competing news entity however, they're jumping on the advertising bandwagon too late in the game (they always knew they'd need to support the site through ads, so odd that they implemented them down the line awhile after launch) so it's anyone's guess how long it stays afloat.

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  46. I don't know two people who read TDB. I sure as hell don't.

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