Sunday, May 24, 2009

Fetch is not going to happen.


More twits of idiocy. Stop trying to make fetch happen. It is not going to happen.

And only click on her 'inspiration' if you want a good mind-raping. You've been warned.

60 comments:

  1. She really does think she is so clever.

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  2. But in that other picture with the sailors, she clearly does have a wide-set vagina.

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  3. She's just gunning/jonsing for to win the Threadless Twitter contest. She's been turning out "catch" phrases since she learned about the contest yesterday via Meghan's blog. She said, "I want one of mine [read: twits] to win."

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  4. Girlfraud sadly is not that quotable. Or notable.

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  5. We should help Julia out and ghost some tweets for her. I'll start:

    "If we're in a recession, how come my ass is so big?"

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  6. I wrote a bit of something on the teaser video you guys posted here for "Youth Knows No Pain" and Julia's idea that women have expiration dates. You can check it out at Life On Blast. I hope it's okay I'm posting this here, if you guys delete it I understand. Just thought some of you might find it of interest!

    xoxo
    Worrisome Psychotic

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  7. Meghan's SeesterMay 24, 2009 at 6:00 PM

    Jankles current location: Canyon Ranch Tuscon Arizona for the three day sampler.

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  8. Ms. Dilettante takes yet another shortcut to prepare for GU reunion 5/28 thru 5/31.

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  9. http://www.canyonranch.com/services/canyon-ranch-single-service.aspx?pr=6&cat=26&subcat=&subsubcat=111&service=830&uid=1259

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  10. @Jacy "Worrisome Psychotic" should be my new handle... lol

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  11. Canyon Ranch ladies are generally quite Mrs. Type A, not inclined to put up with crap, and hot and in shape

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  12. Can you imagine how the braying will go down if she is at Canyon Ranch? People go there to get away from it all, there will be complaints from other guests no doubt.
    Shortcut weightloss before the school reunuion, how predictable.

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  13. I wouldn't be surprised if Daddy Warbucks paid for lipo.

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  14. Alana joy: no it's not ok to post here. Go plug your site elsewhere. Xoxo!

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  15. @ball-less anon 6:56

    I posted that here because it was relevant. Others post relevant links all the time. I was polite about it, made it clear I would totally understand if they didn't want it posted here: and the moderators can make that judgement call. FuQ.

    xoxo!

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  16. a) yet again she janks a graphic, tackily adds on her name/initials. bleeergghhh http://www.planebuzz.com/On%20Vacation%20Pink.jpg

    b)Darlings, correct me if I'm wrong but didn't she at some point mention BOSTON being the vacay spot? Kinda interesting that Canyon Ranch has a location in Lenox, Mass. ;)

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  17. DUUUH. Julia Allison is going to TROPICAL LAKE MICHIGAN PEOPLE!!! So so so warm there! Almost TOO hot!

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  18. Tuscon 94 degrees today. Trustworthy source.
    Have a great day! XO

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  19. A momsers sponsored trip to a 'detox' spa (weight loss crash camp) would explain the profuse braying about the buying and mailing of expensive makeup for momser's birthday gift.

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  20. TMI Weakly's Memorial Day video is a featured video on Youtube. Go and leave comments for the Youtube community to see (they don't seem to know much about the girls).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrf-Y1mjApw&feature=channel_page

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  21. I'm not sure if ole Jules could've name-dropped any more "stereotypical preppy" gear that in the beginning of that segment. Sad :( Oh, and strange. And tacky.

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  22. @darth yoda. Strange that you'd need to educate the 'Youtube community' about them. Consensus on this site seems to be that they are so heinous, anyone would hate them instantly.

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  23. Chicago and the beaches again? Summer in Illinois? I only just realized her vacay is Memorial Day weekend. Interesting time to go dark and be out of NYC/The Hamptons! Meghan finally did more than grin maniacally, nice. Caress winner Carolyn BETTER SEND A THANK YOU NOTE. Furthermore, sweet of Adrien to include his friend in the 'street interviews'.

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  24. Not really (though the effort is well appreciated). If any youtube viewer goes beyond the videos they'll find out all they need to know. Wait, have all those negative comments at the TMI been deleted yet? Elohel

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  25. Hi, Miss or Mrs. Baugher! Back again?

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  26. Alex's girlfriendMay 24, 2009 at 8:23 PM

    I predict Jankle's vibrator will get more of a workout than she will at the Ranch.
    Have a great day! xo

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  27. @Anon 8:20 - I didn't watch because I prefer it when my eyes don't bleed. Did A interview Alexis? Also: Mary's friend Georgie has a good friend named Carolyn. Are we sure she isn't the Caress winner?

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  28. I like Adrien. Do you think it's just because he's new blood?

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  29. Julia was recently bragging on her blog about sending granny a present "to brighten her day." aka a thank you gift for funding a quickie weight loss/detox spa vacation! Granny knows you gotta look good to snag a man at your college reunion. It's her last hope! Julia has NOTHING lined up after that. I predict a move home to Chicago this summer.

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  30. Any one else think the move back to Chicago will be billed as a opportunity to spend more time with granny dearest? It'll be like a disgraced politician saying he's resigning to spend more time with his family.

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  31. Don't forget she just started dating someone. And this plastic surgery doc might land her on oprah's couch. Chicago may be in her future, but maybe just harpo studios.

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  32. * AN opportunity. Proofreading is hard!

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  33. She must have speedily gone to a detox clinic after Gawker commenters were noting her rather thunderous thighs...either way, I'm wondering if maybe she went and got a chemical peel or something of the sort. Can't wait for her to come back and debut her new figure/face!

    Anon at 8:26 PM: How could you like that little rodent? The more I learn about him/see him the more I think he is worse than all the girls. I mean he really is just...ugh.

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  34. Did she just start dating someone, or is that her over-worked imagination? And if she winds up on Oprah, it won't be as a role model.

    Her world in NY is shrinking.

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  35. Oprah's producers are notorious for heavily and thoroughly prescreening their guests. A quick Google search turns up this blog and tons of dirt. They wouldn't be close to having her on. Most likely if they did a plastic surgery show, they'd find girls (16, 17, 18) who want to get plastic surgery or have done it. Julia's story isn't

    1. uplifing
    2. inspirational
    3. teachable
    4. sad
    5. extreme

    Hence, she'll never, ever be on Oprah. Trust me -- I've watched the show for 15 years.

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  36. @9:14. Sounds about right. Do you remember way back when she had Kathy Griffin on talking about how just about every inch of her had been re-done? I guess that gets filed under #5. extreme.

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  37. Alana,

    I welcome your contributions and would love for you to tell us when you've posted someone related on your new venture.

    BTW, I love the look and feel, or "information architecture," as Julia would say.

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  38. Alex's girlfriendMay 24, 2009 at 9:46 PM

    "Started dating" is a bit presumptuous considering the source. She has gone on a multitude of first dates as inventory for the matchmakers NS featured. No one goes back for seconds or thirds with this bow-legged disingenuous donkey.

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  39. Cranberry GuacamoleMay 24, 2009 at 9:49 PM

    Alana: Your site is really impressive. JA and others WISH they had a site that was half as expertly put together as yours is.

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  40. not that there's anything wrong with her site, but it seems like the Alana promotion tonight is a bit heavy handed.

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  41. Alana: Really like your website, and you're stunning. Love the music choices.

    Two recommendations?

    1. Work on the audio with you and your friends -- you need lav mics (wireless or wired, doesn't matter) or a shotgun mic, the sound is echoey and amateur.

    2. Make the videos shorter. 7 minutes is too long. 2-3 minutes max.

    Good luck with your website, you are off to a nice start girl.

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  42. Alana quit kissing your own ass under different handles.

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  43. She left one comment @9:55 and it wasn't heavy handed.

    We know who you are @ 9:55. Your true colors always show.

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  44. Cranberry GuacamoleMay 24, 2009 at 10:12 PM

    Ohhh boy. Here we go again.

    I am one of the supposed "Alana handles" who complimented her site.

    Hi!

    Hey, now do we really know that JA is at the Arizona spa? Someone posted below quite knowingly.

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  45. Julia's Old NoseMay 24, 2009 at 10:24 PM

    I was the other Anon @9:55 and I usually post as Julia's Old Nose. Everyone chill out. JEEEEsus.

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  46. Wow, it's the scary Mary show -- again. Keep to topic folks.

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  47. the nyp fameball article just made gawker

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  48. Someone please discuss her plea that the "fashion gods" not "bring back" the pointy-toed heel.

    Where on EARTH has she been for the last seven years? Has Manolo made a non-pointy closed-toed shoe in a decade?

    Jesus.

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  49. I noticed that too! And why? Someone with sausage legs like she has should pray for the return of the pointy-toed heel. It totally elongates the leg and it's a very elegant style.

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  50. Shoe Fan, Julia refuses to acknowledge the existence of pointy-toed shoes because she can't stuff her fat sausage toes into them.

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  51. Hey, thanks to those of you who have showed support. Look, I will only ever post a link here that has to do with the girls. Not whatever unrelated misc. post. I also got the IDEA for doing that post from the trailer posted on this site which I had not otherwise seen. I felt it would have been very Julia-esque had I not at least acknowledged it in some way. Didn't post a link. Just dropped a line, and respect what the moderators choose. Not sure how I really could have handled that better? Anyway. If a moderator says I shouldn't do that I won't. And to those of you who have said supportive words here: THANK YOU. It's been a lot of work done solo and I've really stuck my neck out. It's validating to hear anyone else remotely gets it, enjoys it, likes it, whatever.

    And to those of you who think I am "kissing my own ass" you're sadly mistaken and anyone who has access to tracking could easily verify what I HAVE ALWAYS SAID to those commenters is true: I have only ever posted as first Scary Mary and then my own name. Anyone who eludes to anything else has their own um: motive. And some of us know what that's all about. That's enough for me.

    Anyway, with only Meghan to add content to the site until Julia's return, it might be crickets unless someone comes up with something fun to pass the time. How long do you think she'll really go without posting something somewhere? We should start a pool...

    re: the pointy shoes: this is coming from a girl who lives in "black Mary Janes from Aldo". 'nuff said.

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  52. Anony 9:14 - Where do you get your inside information as to the Oprah producers' due diligencc? From watching the show for 15 years?

    And are these the same producers who pre-screened James Frey?

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  53. Anon 12:23: Sorry but, uh, where have YOU been for the past 3 years? Pointy-toed shoes have been out out out for the past three years. Even Manolo's points aren't as pointy as they were 7 years ago. And even if he did still make super pointy shoes still, he isn't exactly a fashion trend-setter amongst shoe design–he is in his own class and he rarely follows trends. Look at Prada, Miu Miu, Chloe, LV, Balenciaga and tell me that pointy shoes are still in.

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  54. "Twitter please!"

    A versatile catchphrase that can also be read as a desperate call for tweets - acknowledge me, tweet me, like me, twitter PLEASE!!1!

    Too easy. Bored.

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  55. trendiness = the mark of no originality. It isn't surprising that she's asking the fashion gods to work in her favor so that - like the sheep she is - she won't have to give in. If they become "all the rage" (lol) she will anyway.

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  56. Long Time Reader BunnyMay 25, 2009 at 8:26 PM

    No, I don't want to fucking read any more goddamned updates about Life on Blast, okay? Those of you who feel compelled to compliment Alana Joy or offer your sage advice about how she could improve things should do so ON HER SITE, pretty please with sugartits on top.

    I don't think the few dozen extra hits LOB will get from spamming the comments section of RBNS is worth the irritation you're causing the regular readers of this site.

    AJ, I know you'll feel compelled to defend yourself with lengthy replies under various handles. Please resist that impulse, because I won't be back on this post to read them, and they'll just piss off everybody else.

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  57. Here's a Handle so SM/AJ won't call me a coward - FucknutsMay 25, 2009 at 8:29 PM

    Jesus, Scary Mary, give it a fucking rest. I'm sick to death of your self-righteous diatribes defending your precious blogs and your own ego.

    I appreciate that the moderators of this site have shown you some politeness and given you some slack, but it's ENOUGH ALREADY. Fuck.

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  58. three minutes apart, long after the thread had pretty much shut down. interesting.

    you know, if you're going to continue with the crazy, try to be a bit more subtle about it. cover your tracks a bit better. you make it so obvious.

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