Friday, May 29, 2009

Oh honey, no, you are just wrong about that.




41 comments:

  1. OMG! No she didn't.

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  2. Hope she doesn't forget the eyeglasses-on-a-chain to complete this getup.

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  3. It's another piece of crazy theater. Tonight she'll be playing the character of Blair Waldorf. She must be completely hollowed out inside.

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  4. Sort of a repost but:
    No one looks good in cap sleeves. No won! The blazer looks like a cheap target jacket, the skirt is from that sample sale she went to, and she looks like she's in a freaking costume.

    The outfit is incredibly juvenile and embarrassing. I can't imagine what any of her classmates will have to say to her--many of them have careers, and spouses, and maybe even children and she's got a TOTAL FAIL embarrassing website that makes her look like she's "special" and in need of supportive housing.

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  5. @n836: Emily LaTella

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  6. I call bullshit on this 4 lbs. Belt - digging in. Skirt - flying out on all sides. Top button on her shirt - hanging on for dear life.

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  7. prom season's revengeMay 29, 2009 at 9:08 PM

    Mary just posted a link to Winston Wolfe's predictions for the Webutante Ball King & Queen winners, calling them "dead on".

    This is the guy who started his blog to make fun of the reblogging hoopla (I think he called it RebloggingRebloggingJulia, and it was pretty awful at first, but he's grown on me). The content Mary linked to includes the speculation that JA's odds of winning are "10-1. Because the fix could very well be in. And by fix I mean if she could perform fellation on each and every person who would vote for her, I would not put it past her."

    see here: http://winstonwolfe.tumblr.com/post/114975677/bigcrush-the-nominees-for-webutante-queen-and#disqus_thread

    It appears the Handmaiden of Passive Aggression is moving towards Outright Aggression. LOL.

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  8. I don't think the handmaiden of passive aggression is happy about julia's recent lies re: her trip and related stuff.

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  9. Mary! Please become the Handmaiden of Outright Aggression!

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  10. She's a 28-year-old woman. Imagine how out of place she is going to look among women of the same age in that ridiculous 1950s bridge lady outfit? I don't understand. Why does she try so hard NOT to be cool?

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  11. One year old but I'd not yet seen it - a reference to not being like Julia:
    http://dcist.com/2008/05/how_not_to_be_t.php

    And agreed 923 about her appearance. In trying to stand out, it's sad how lame she continues to look over and over and over again. I never go to her web site anymore - not ever. It's boring. RBNS is even starting to become boring - not because of the commenters (who are awesome) but because the subject of our commenting is becoming boring.

    Okay, off to go have a real life and go out. Night.

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  12. She looks so worn out and tired. I thought she just got back from a vacation?

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  13. Are you there, Julia? It’s me, Fashion Girl from the previous post, again. I am home tonight with the sniffles, and I am committed to using my convalescence to help you help yourself make it through this reunion with a modicum of dignity, one outfit at a time.

    We talked earlier about the pitfalls of attempting a “high-low” look. Now we need to talk about “dressy casual”.

    I am going to hazard a guess that when the event planners for your reunion chose the phrase “dressy casual”, they were trying to convey the following: Get dressed up, it’s a special occasion. But, keep in mind that this isn’t a cocktail party at the country club or a work event. We just graduated from college 5 years ago, after all! Save the formal crap for the 10-year.

    So, what kind of outfits might work in this context? The things that immediately come to mind (and what I expect that many of your more fashion-savvy classmates might be wearing) are:

    - Dark jeans with great heels and a “going out” top - but nothing too sexy or “in the clurb”-y – it’s a reunion, not a party in the hotel lobby!
    - A cute dress in a non-shiny fabric – no plunging necklines or micro-minis!
    - Accessories like chunky, vintage-style jewelry, layered chains, and fun clutch handbags

    I’ll tell you why what you opted for really doesn’t work.

    I know that you are going for the Blair Waldorf look. So, let me break down the Blair thing for you so you can better understand how to properly deploy it in the future. Blair knows that the girly-girl look is strictly daytime only. When Blair goes out at night, she tones it way, way down. No simpering pastels, and definitely no “Daddy’s little girl” frou-frou accessories. Instead, she goes for deep red lipstick, loose curls, and lots of dramatic and beautiful colors like dark grey and dusty rose that look gorgeous with her pale skin and big eyes. She keeps away from the saccharine sweet styles that she wears with (highly ironic) aplomb when she’s off to Constance or brunch with Serena and turns to modest but slinky vintage-inspired 20s and 30s looks. She is still a lady, absolutely, but she doesn’t look like a cartoon.

    So, my biggest and most general critique of your get-up is that it is a day look, not a night look. Here’s a tip: Before you leave your house or hotel room to go to an evening event, look yourself right in the mirror and say, “Would Blair wear this to meet Chuck covertly at Victrola while Nate waits in the limo with his head gently tilted to the side like a sweet but slightly simple golden retriever?” If the answer is no, remove at least one pastel, bow or item of pearl jewelry. Repeat.

    Finally, on one point, I must be cruel to be kind. Aqua belts are never, ever okay. Like, if you happen to read this on your iPhone tonight, just take it off and throw it in the nearest trash can. For real. It is ghastly. There’s no way around that one.

    Xoxo
    Fashion Girl

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  14. i wonder if those are real "FRESHWATER!!!" pearls.

    she is so tacky.

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  15. Sacred ScrapbooksMay 29, 2009 at 10:09 PM

    FG:

    You know the funny thing (in Julia-speak: the strange thing) is that you wouldn't catch any of the GG actresses dead in one of those outfits off the set. And you don't see real UES/CPW schoolgirls dressing in those kinds of outfits, either. The show is a fantasy pitched at a tween-ish audience that knows nothing about the social world it portrays, so it's perfecto for Julia (who comes across as a psycho version of Mia Farrow's character in Purple Rose of Cairo when tweeting about GG).

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  16. FG: I love you. Please e-mail RG or me at jacyandrussiangirl@gmail.com

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  17. Don't be bitter because your snark didn't manage to change her mind about that skirt. She looks objectively fine in this photo.

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  18. Fucking Disney World all the way.

    And also such a chance wasted.As much as I personally think a 5 year college reunion is the essence of gay, there was an opportunity here.

    I mean, is she nervous? What are her thoughts about the passing of time? Thoughts on the unavoidable romanticism of one's past? The way even hard, anxiety-ridden times take on a dreamy hue after a few years, and seem like a golden age?

    A better writer - shit any WRITER - could have made hay with this trip. Instead? bad pictures and fill-in-the-blanks captions.

    Sad.

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  19. If I had gone tonight, I would've laughed at her (as I'm sure plenty of my fellow Hoyas are doing). Everyone is going to be in jeans.

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  20. 10:28: If by "fine" you mean completely ridiculous, as though she's dressed up for a costume party in which the theme is "1950s Tea Party" then yes, you're right, she looks "fine."

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  21. Sacred Scrapbooks,

    I absolutely agree with you. If I were put in the situation of styling her (god help us all), I wouldn’t try to fight the whole Blair fantasy thing. My feeling is, if she is so committed to the Blair look – as strange (strange!) a fixation as it is – she could at least do it in a flattering and modern and not overly humiliating way.

    Of course, the major question for me to explore in analysis next week is, why the french do I care? But – let’s face it - she’s kind of moved from the despicable into the clinical, so I feel compelled to help in whatever shallow way I can. Bless.

    Xoxo,
    Fashion Girl

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  22. BTW, no one in NYC dresses like her. This is NOT NYC style. I grew up in Boston and hated NYC most of my life. Moved her a few years ago. And the women dress all over the place. Some plain. SOme fancy. But if there is any style, generally, it's mix-and-match these days. Asian women with black tights and a cashmere - or faux cachmere- sweater covering their ass, but converse all stars and a man's v-neck white t-shirt. Or office girls with kick-ass high heels and loose khakis and a tucked-in silk shirt. Or smart-looking black girls with pencil skirts, no tights and a buttoned-down blouse. Or twill slacks and a Clash City Rockers t-shirt with pearls.

    The subway makes you more fashionable here. Shit, i was here a month with my cargo pants and oxfords before i was like, "I need a good pair of shoes. And thin sweaters."

    Julia would look 10 times more NYC if she calmed the fuck down and hung out in Williamsburg or the East Village for an hour. Or rode the subway - but I guess that goes against her cab-taking SATC bullshit fantasy.

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  23. hahah fashion girl. at first i thought you were Mary. But you are way too smart to be Mary.

    And @ previous thread - what did julia say about her mom that made her mom stop speaking to her?!?

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  24. @flatface: Word sister, word.

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  25. Also this just reeks of desperation: "Look: I's fat! But at least I can still jack my tits in yo face!" Damn.

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  26. @1052
    I'm a guy, but, thanks.

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  27. To FG & FF>

    I couldn't agree more with your analysis of these here fashion choices. I think that the only context that her look works is in the vicinity of a country club at 3pm on a Saturday in May.

    Having encountered many a G-town alum in my time in NYC, I know they can be very preppy. But when it comes to getting snazzy, they know what to do and it does not involve pearls, eyelet blouses, and green polka skirts. Think more Herve Leger.

    For real, no seasoned NYC girl would wear that outfit. It just screams midwest, not uptown as one might think. And please, one should never go below 50th street in that outfit.

    -Anony

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  28. I'm confused. Meghan's blog is as painfully dull today as it has always been. Something must have come up.

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  29. Surprised she's not twittering madly about how SO HAPPY she is to be there.

    It's worrisome.

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  30. Megs has made several declaration of her emancipation as a woman and blogger with the promise of lots of content changes----

    NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED. She's Julia version 2.

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  31. Enjoy your white lace and pearls, kiddo, along with the fantasy that they will make men want subconsciously want to marry you.

    Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

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  32. She's dating someone. I don't think she's worried.

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  33. Julia's Clip On BangsMay 29, 2009 at 11:26 PM

    Pssst, Fashion Girl, we all know Julia hates the subway and uses any excuse possible to take taxis everywhere!

    I'm grateful that the Disney Princess party phenomena happened after Julia's time, we would be innudated with pictures of little Julia in her various princess regalias which would be fine since she would have been a kid but they would inevitably be accompanied with a caption "I want to do this now!". and "why do Princess parties have to stop after one turns eight?".

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  34. Honey Mustard Nail DipMay 29, 2009 at 11:31 PM

    HERE is how Carrie does pearls:

    http://images.bidorbuy.co.za/user_images/453/452453_sexandcity_800x447.jpg

    Jabbers is so far off the mark, it's a crying shame (for her -- I'm laffing my ass off.)

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  35. I see Mrs. Baugher is here, defending her poor daughter's hideous outfit and new "boyfriend." Oh Momsers. Get her some help. Finding her a husband will not cure what ails her.

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  36. as long as I'm up and drinking beer, I just think I should say:
    I think it's kinda awesome that no one has ever tried to take over my name "flatface". I don't know how to url my name, so I haven't url'ed it.

    I've been commenting here since the get-go and I know other people have had to put up with people stealing their names.

    that said, how d i URL?

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  37. "She's dating someone. I don't think she's worried."

    Ah, but the trick is moving in with him before that lease renewal comes up in a couple of months, right, cupcake? Let's see...famous tenant wants you out of the building...and those pesky financial forms, much less fun than last time! Not sayin' she can't gold-dig her way into a place to live (she's done it before), but first off, doesn't the guy have to, like, actually exist? Crunch time! So worrisome!

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  38. Flatface, go over to the new site at Wordpress. Sign up for a use name and you can even add your own Flatface avatar!

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  39. Polka skirt! Ahahahaha. Well done 11:13.

    I also vote Fashion Girl comes and teaches me how to dress. As a troll hiding in the Internet I am the opposite of Jackles: I don't know what to reveal but don't want to touch my God-given face. Help, FG, help!

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  40. I am gasping for air laughing thinking of jankles trying to squeeze her way into a herve ledger dress. NOT happening.

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