She might have lost four pounds but Jackles's little "vacation" and her "break from the Internet" has apparently done nothing to diminish the madness. In her first post in days, she gets immediately busted by RBNS commenters for posting an old photograph on her blog and implying that it was from her recent waterside vacation. She's now deleting all the time stamps from her photos, and has also been Tweeting like crazy about "Date 2.5" with the guy whose alma mater she simply cannot stop dropping. Interesting coming from a woman who bemoans how the Internet has ruined her personal life. The Internet, mind you -- not her use of the Internet. Broadcasting her personal life to thousands of followers on Twitter is somehow different in Jackles's mind than broadcasting her personal life to thousands of readers on the Internet. How strange!
Tweet 1:
Tonight's Washington, DC Agenda: Date 2.5 with Harvard Crush, who happens to be in town. Actually looking forward to this. Jinx alert! :)
Tweet 2:
Date picked me up ON HIS MOTORCYCLE!!! omfgTweet 3:
Re: last night's motorcycle date - @MsFitzSTYLIST - a Harley, actually. It was my first time on a bike!! Oh yes, I liked. How could I not?!
Tweet 4:
@erinmstyles ahhhh it was!!! Especially since I was wearing heels, a vintage skirt and a Chanel bag. Carrie would be so proud.
Where to begin with all this? Yes, we get it, he goes to Harvard. And yes, we get it, she's got a Chanel bag! She's just like Carrie! How come no mention of the Payless shoes, though?
p.s. Thanks to IronicSlanket for the photo.
"Especially since I was wearing heels, a vintage skirt and a Chanel bag. Carrie would be so proud." She just can't stop with the gaucheocity.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this atrocity??
ReplyDeleteThe writing is terrible!
http://www.zmogo.com/web/internet-famous-the-julia-allison-story/
She was totes at a fat farm.
ReplyDeleteSo sad that her big "getaway" was to go to a fat spa so she could be wrapped in tinfoil for 3 days to squeeze out 3 lbs. of water weight before her reunion. :(
ReplyDeletetoo bad her chanel purse isn't even that cute. BRAG BRAG BRAG.
ReplyDeletesuch trash.
Did any of this really happen? Where are the photos?! I also wouldn't mind a look at the bike itself.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone think Harvard guy is a real person? I mean, she's more then willing to talk about him but won't give a first initial or even a picture of, like, his arm or his bike? Seems very strange to me. Also, he's in NYC when she's in NYC then in DC when she's in DC? On a motorcycle no less? I really think he's fake. Sad :(
ReplyDeleteAlso, hope she had a helmet on ... assuming, too, that it would have ruined the whole Carrie-like outfit. Ha! Oh well, we all deserve a little happiness so I hope that he's real.
ReplyDeleteI heard she had to wear a vag helment in order to protect the seat from the green sludge.
ReplyDeleteThat episode of Carrie on a motorcycle just re-aired. Carrie, who is completely incapable of being "proud" of anything (considering she DOESN'T EXIST), was wearing brand new Prada, not exactly a comparison with Jankles' sad getup.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Jankles, Carrie HATED being on the motorcycle, you dolt.
BWAHAHAHAHA...
ReplyDeleteI just couldn't help myself. I hope it doesn't ruin pesto sauce for more people.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that she still references Carrie is beyond sad. :(
ReplyDeletehttp://www.zmogo.com/web/internet-famous-the-julia-allison-story/
ReplyDeleteIs that above article translated from a different language? Is it babble-fished?
Forget the allison content, I can't believe this article was pubished!
In today's picture standing in front of Georgetown, Julia, I must say, looks perfectly fine. Hair sausages nowhere in site, thank gawd.
ReplyDeleteShe is the mirror image my 37-year-old mother way back in the 70s, identical outfit, same thick knees and thighs that had lost their shape over the years, and just like my mom's, Julia's bosom is still shapely and holding up nicely for an almost 40-year-old.
My dentist dad was suitably proud of his once-pretty now acceptably plain wife. He'd slide his arm around her waist and squire her about with affection when they went to the club for dinner on Saturday nights. She took to carrying shawls to hide some of the creeping ass-spread; much like Julia's tied scarf idea today.
Mind you, my dad was banging his slutty single 20-year old dental hygenist, Krystal, and broke poor mom's dowdy suburbanized heart but, water under the bridge, it was a long time ago. My mom took very well to looking after us kids, gardening, and her volunteer work down at the local St. Vincent de Paul.
Julia should be so happy someday. The smile on her face today is about exactly the same as the one that was permanently frozen on my mom's for the next 20 years.
So in the past four tweets, Julia has managed to:
ReplyDelete1. Drop three "names" - Harvard, Harley, AND Chanel.
2. Utilize the "OMFG" made famous by Gossip Girl advertisements.
3. Compare herself to Carrie Bradshaw.
...and that, my friends, is the extent of Julia Allison's depth.
I'm sorry, but her shirt in that picture is just TOO TIGHT. Jesus woman. Go up a size already!
ReplyDeleteI think Julia looks nice in her outfit today. She's getting some outfits right for once.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing good is that the skirt is at least appropriate this time. But, too tight shirt. Sorry. Not wavering on this.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry she'll back to her usual LOOK AT ME outfits by tonight.
Oh, fleeting happiness -- part of Julia's problem is the unrelenting search for and projection of that permanently frozen smile.
ReplyDeleteWhere does time go....
ReplyDeleteWinner!
If everyone is talking about the outfit du jour, why not post that here or are we supposed to go to NS?
ReplyDeleteShe is totally making up the Harvard boy. I know cause I did this when I was 17. My boyfriend broke up with me for another girl and I had nothing else going on for months. No dates. (OMG Julia, I didn't even have a date for the PROM. Should I kill myself?) I felt everyone thought I was a pathetic loser, so I gave myself a fictitious boyfriend. Of course he was a college student, studying law, blah blah blah.
ReplyDeletePsst Julia - Not one of my fellow high school friends believed me then (18 years ago), just like no one believes you now.
She just quoted herself on her blog and in that quote she says she hopes to give people joy. Delusional.
ReplyDeleteWas his name George....Tropicana? I mean, uh, George Glass. George Glass.
ReplyDeletePeople, why the hell would she make up a "boyfriend"??? If she is at that stage of delusion someone really needs to step in. At 28 years old that is off the charts, time for the boobie hatch crazy.
ReplyDeleteAnon 1:17 - Art Vandelay
ReplyDeleteMy .02 sez the motorcycle date on the same nite that there was a S&TC rerun did.not.happen
ReplyDeleteDoes the current generation even watch that show? God in heaven I hope not
Get ready, she is not making up the bf and she was not in the Midwest [momsers] during her hiatus.
ReplyDelete@1:24 A real date? And a real vaca? Pix or it didn't happen
ReplyDeleteI'm the one who made up the fake boyfriend. She is making the mistakes my 17 year old self made. A fellow teenager pointed it out - "there's nothing this guy can't do." She should have given him a drug problem of a wooden leg to make him seem more real. Harvard, being in DC the same time as her, a motorcycle - nah too much. Not to say that this isn't entertaining though.
ReplyDeletePICS OR STFU
ReplyDeleteOR a wooden leg.
ReplyDelete2.5 dates does not a boyfriend make.
ReplyDelete@pp
ReplyDeleteNah pics mean nothing when you are on the fake boyfriend front. I begged my brother's friend from college to show up as my date. He did after enough whining from me.
Guys, I'm not willing to say the dude is made up. Come on. What is ridiculous is that she can't just twitter "my date picked me up in a motorcycle tonight!" or something -- she comes on so strong that no relationship with her will ever progress organically. It's all contrived, just like the picture of the heart in the sand.
ReplyDeleteI went as a gay Spanish boy's girl date to a family event; not sure we fooled anyone, but he was a good friend so I did it
ReplyDeleteWhy is she even calling this a hiatus? She didn't post a braying photo of herself for what... 2 days.
ReplyDeleteNo, she has to say "Date on a motorcycle while wearing Prada, Chanel, vintage, IM JUST LIKE CARRIEOMGWTFBBQ"
ReplyDeleteLets make up aboyfriend for Julaia DAY! YA.COM!
ReplyDeleteJulias BF:
Darth Beowulf
Education: MIT
Career: CEO Internet3.com
Hobbies; Runn9ng over posuers in my Harley.
Bad habbits: Kicking your ass.
@1:31 Ok maybe the dude is real but I think we would see a motorcycle pic or something. And when Julia goes on and on about something it is usually a lie - see Bravo deal.
ReplyDeleteDarth Beowulf.
ReplyDeleteinsert death cackle rofl here.
Remember when she took a "hiatus" during the Davos conference? hah
ReplyDeleteWondering how many alumni are there on Julia watch.
Honest question: Unless you are a serious biker dude (sorry for the stereotype), who goes biking around statewide, mid-week and in cloudy weather?
ReplyDeleteLet's assume she isn't lying. For a moment. If that is the case, the dude in question is as much of a tool as JA. Harvard AND a Harley? That's a bad Adam Sandler movie title. Even if he has a HD, picking up a chick on it, in a town 300+ miles from where you keep it, is a douche move. Dudes who pick up dates on Harleys are one of two kinds -- poser douches who are trying too hard to be cool, and Peckerwoods with prison records. So, either she's lying, a complete douche magnet or dating a guy with a record and a meth addiction. The last scenario being the coolest, but least likely.
ReplyDeleteThis reunion will have her sobbing alone in the darkened corners of Georgetown, and reaching for the Xanax.
Tragicomic charade reaching new heights?
ReplyDeleteSorry, but here's a guy who went to Harvard and lives in NYC. So, we'll assume his degree has earned him some sort of day job. Despite the relatively small overlap of NYC/DC residents, Harvard Day Job happens to either keep a Harley in DC and take it out for rides on Wednesday afternoons or drives his motorcycle a few hundred miles on a Wednesday afternoon to pick someone up for a date. Despite his apparent love for his motorcycle, he refuses to have it photographed. All of this happens at the same exact time the a Sex and the City rerun airs depicting Carrie on her own boyfriends bike and Julia notes that she feels just like Carrie Bradshaw.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with the above poster, she's not the first lonely girl to make up a boyfriend.
It will later be revealed he "completed coursework" at Harvard the summer between his sophomore and junior years at Northeastern.
ReplyDeleteJulia is as crazy for reals as an Amy Sedaris comedy routine about Ricky, the imaginary boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteGod, you people are dense sometimes. Her new boyfriend is REAL. You saw her kissing him at Seaworld. My old dolphin boyfriend loved to ride bikes as well.
ReplyDeleteLet's assume that she's not lying (because she might not be - she's an asshole and clearly attracts people as awesome [read: crazy and self-absorbed] as she is).
ReplyDeleteI dated a guy for a year who rode a motorcycle. I didn't even know until like 3 months in that he HAD one. This Harvard guy is a total douche if he's pulling this out right away. Give me a break. They must be made for each other.