Monday, May 11, 2009

Momser's Tumblr?

Interesting.

103 comments:

  1. Give me a fucking break. Like aplusk ever emailed Julia Allison.

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  2. That is probably a tumblr Julia Allison set up for her mother so she could have something to click on and read and feel better after finding out about each of Julia's embarrassments and missteps. Just like momser's twitter that Julia set up for her: http://twitter.com/JuliasMom

    I seriously used to feel bad for Julia's parents but after her mom agreeing to pose at the church altar on Easter Sunday next to Julia wearing the slutty Easter bunny get up, I lost all pity for them. They are clearly enabling Julia's obnoxious behavior.

    And momsers, please don't answer this question from the list of 10 Questions for Mom Julia posted on her blog--

    4. Which one of your kids do you like the best?

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  3. I'm starting a Total Jing Is Great tumblr for my mom. Of course, I'll link to all my comments on RBNS. She'd be so proud!

    In all seriousness, I don't understand Julia's press at all. Probably something she set up for advertisers to stumble upon? Although, it does not come up in her search results on google.

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  4. Another step of distancing herself from Nonsociety because why add a press section to the precious lifecast if that is so central to her professional existence?
    So she sets up a tumblr for people she wants to fool into seeing her for something other than she is - this is like photoshopping pictures only even more transparent.
    My guess is, she will try to let Nonsociety die quietly and try to score something with the assistance of OMG Randi Zuckerberg.

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  5. why NOT add a press section

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  6. http://juliaallisonpress.tumblr.com/ is heeeelarious. It's like those one word movie review quotes that are in commercials for shitty movies.

    "Astounding!"

    actual review: "An astounding achievement in horrible movie making!"

    Here are some nice things that people have said about Julia! I can't back it up at all, but I promise they were said at some point and it was nice! And I must document it!

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  7. Lame google juice attempt by her and hmm?

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  8. WOW.com. What a FUCKING joke. Those 'famous people' emails look so fake. great find.

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  9. The famous people emails are FAMOUS PEOPLE REPLIES. You know, because, she emails them first and god, you think they're gonna be mean back? No...

    She probably composes long-ass emails to those people, telling them about her, what she wants to do with her 'career', etc. And, you know, they gotta write something back...

    "You're dog is cute."

    She's just busy making a happy site about herself.

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  10. Julia Allison, what with her Forrest Gump aphorisms ripped off here and there, always did remind me of a movie tagline. Nice to see that she's become my other least favorite media ho, Ben Lyons.

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  11. I wonder if she was granted permission by these famous folk.

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  12. LOL @ 1159!!!

    "I...saw...Julia Allison"

    "Julia Allison...is...a wonderful...cupcake"

    "She is....Julia Allison...nice"

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  13. Loren: Head -> Nail
    There is no reason for Julia to publish the contents of her inbox (from very important people bunnies!) separately from her NS ego-blog other than exactly as you stated, for google juice.
    I love that she uses a quote from Sarah Lacy. Gee ... my friends who have interesting jobs say nice things about me too. Maybe I should start a blog?

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  14. "Slut with a pen"

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  15. Do you think Randi Z. did this while she was answering Julia's reader emails the other night? Not only do I think Julia writes her own fan mail but I also think that Julia's mom and some of her besties write her fan mail, sign a random invented fan name, and don't tell her. They do it to help their intellectually challenged friend get through the day.

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  16. Expired Dating ColumnistMay 11, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    "an openly mocked joke"

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  17. Damage control for all the negative stuff on the net, and not a chance in hell all the false positives will outweigh the negative. Ever.
    Forget NS and her blatant attempt to distance and push her brand since it's failed miserably, doesn't she already have a separate website with her bio and press details? She really needed a press-specific tumblr? So transparent it's not even funny.

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  18. Also, this almost looks like a snarky joke site...

    I mean, it opens with a passive aggressive compliments from an "apron sewer"-Cece Marie.

    And then "Nice(ish)" quotes about jules like "goodey two shoes" with a liberal use of ellipses when needed?

    Is the joke on us?

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  19. TJ...so basically Julia's mom is Max Von Mayerling and Julia is Norma Desmond.

    Madame is the greatest star of them all!

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  20. The completely random Ashton Kutcher and Brigitte Dale comments have the unintentional hilarity effect of showing how desperate she is to align herself with the famous (and quasi-famous). Sad :(

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  21. Partypants:

    I think CeCe Marie is a minor character in Julia's play, too.

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  22. “She’s a very smart cookie. Very smart. She can intelligently discuss lots of things.” - NYU economist Nouriel Roubini in Portfolio magazine

    Hey, they cut something off! It's supposed to read, "She can intelligently discuss lots of thinsg when she's Bjing me against the Vagina wall."

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  23. TJ: Well she can't be the monkey. Karp is already signed up for that role.

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  24. hahahhaha, I HOPE this is real. The woman has spent the last 4 years sucking up to everyone in the media, and in the top 5 most wonderful things people have emailed to her "I like your dog". hahah. omg. tooo funny this one.

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  25. Is this the most unintentionally funny thing JA has done?

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  26. More great quotes about Julia Allison:

    "She wore...a gown"
    "One of the...women...on the internet"
    "With her dark hair and...body"
    "Her life is an open book...on a website...body's reading"
    "With her sponserships...afford...headbands"
    "Elegant...tutus...cupcakes...adorable"

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  27. Crap we forgot to start the Deletion Countdown clock!!!!! JACY!!!

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  28. "she has a...body"

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  29. Yes, Julia should be rising from slumber any minute now. Expect deletion in....

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  30. Her....vayana....hairless....

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  31. Randi is the chimpanzee.

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  32. What people are saying about Total Jing:

    "Her comments...are...on a blog"
    "She...knows everything"

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  33. “She’s actually a machine of happiness and non-sickening positivity in this cynical city” - Patrol Magazine, April 2009

    Does she STILL not get that they were making fun of her? Apparently not.

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  34. Kinda liking the Randi Suckerberg name. And Randi Fuckerberg got a laugh out of me, too. Gawd, cannot believe I once thought she was okay but had just fallen in with a bad crowd.

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  35. That has to be a jokey mock site just like the jokey mock comments this morning... it cannot be real... can it?

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  36. once, she helped, uh, someone, uh ... well, no, she never helped anyone ever

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  37. I would be so sad if after ALL that coverage and press the nice things people said about me could fit neatly on one page and the horrible things could fill the state of texas. I would be puffy from crying myself to sleep too, Julia.

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  38. On reflection it does look more like a joke to me, but who knows.

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  39. The internet has this to say about Partypants...

    "She's a [redacted]"
    "partypants...comments...sometimes"
    "...amazing...sparks"

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  40. Ok sorry, I'm done.

    I can't believe she doesn't have shit like that girl allison or Christan etc quoted on there. Or that "Keb" twitter guy saying "Stunning!" or something.

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  41. Julia's DelusionsMay 11, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Julia is awake! Alert! The monster has emerged from her slumber to greet her fans with some riveting A Game content!

    "Looking at the White House right now. :)
    28 minutes ago from txt"

    "... and thinking of what might have been if I had only chosen my sliding doors moment to become a speechwriter for Obama. Now I am just a sad, lonely bloated hag cursed to roam the streets of DC in a tattered borrowed gown, bobby pins askew, pancake makeup running down my waxen face. But I am happy. So so happy :) :)"

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  42. i like the unilver quote: julia allison shows "what’s possible with no resources [and] no agency" ... the reason the [AND] is added before "no agency" is because the original quote went something like this: "what’s possible with no resources, no agency and, DARE I SAY IT, NO TALENT." [I'm paraphrasing, but it was something to that effect -- maybe someone can track down the original quote; I couldn't find it].

    Julia Allison knows this. In fact, she made the point during her MIT "lecture" how she could edit the unilever quote to put on her resume and the end result was remarkably similar to what's on the juliapress tumblr (she even had a slide on this specific quote!). she is so pathetic...

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  43. People, that site/blog, whatever hopefully represents the last gasp of the dying "media empire" that is Julia Cankles Cupcakes Allison. As she continues to lose relevance to her microaudience, she becomes more desperate, and thus more apt to pull these lame moves.

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  44. FROM A TIPSTER!!!!!!1111

    "She talked all night about being C-SPAN. She told Madeline Albright she was on C-SPAN."

    Not revealing source. Could be made up since I wasn't there.

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  45. But come on, 1.39, how dubious is it to set up a bloody tumblr as your press site. No contact option for further questions, no link to the main page, the biography and so on. Even if it should not be aimed at being a joke, it is one from a PR point of view.

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  46. I doubt it's a joke. Her bio page on her old julia blog includes almost all the same stuff, and she's used the same info in bios for presentations and other thigns too

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  47. "an openly mocked joke"

    ha ha ha ha, Expired Dating Columnist!

    I will add my own google juice right here:

    Julia Allison is a cunt!

    Julia Allison is a lying cunt!

    Julia Allison is a liar and a fraud.

    Julia Allison is a douchebag.

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  48. 1:45: If so: *headdesk* for infinity.

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  49. Oh Diablo Cody, say it ain't so!! Boo.com to you if you really did email Julia!

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  50. Lordy. Reduced to bragging about being a face in the crowd on C-Span. that is pretty much scraping the bottom o' the media barrel for a Onetime It Girl.

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  51. I know, I should check my real stories email more often amirite

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  52. Dys - Julia has been scraping the bottom of the barrel for pretty much her entire media existence. She posted a screen cap of herself when she appeared on The City for like, a millisecond, too. Julia Allison very lamely likes to pretend she's in on the joke, but she is so not.

    I keep waiting for the moment that we all find out we've been punkd by this fictional Julia Allison character - like the couple of years have been one long joke, but that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. I sometimes cannot believe such an odious person really exists.

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  53. Another TMI is up with very little I

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  54. Um, kinda confused here. What, exactly, is the Julia Allison brand she's a master at creating?

    A year ago, granted, she was Carrie Bradshaw 2.0. But, at her own "admission" (read: spin, because TONY declined to renew her contract/fired her), the Carrie Bradshaw 2.0 thing was "played out." So, the brand just can't be a real girl living the Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw life.

    Furthermore, it's not lifecasting her oh-so-fabulous single girl life in the city. Again, at her own admission, she doesn't talk about her dating life anymore because she's afraid of the criticism. I'd add that she fails to truly talk about her life in an honest fashion out of an inability to deal with criticism.

    So maybe the most unintentionally hilarious thing that Julia Allison has done is her most recent pose as a "new media, personal branding goddess extraordinaire." Because now, in its most generous and kind form, the Julia Allison brand stands for a 28 (but looking 42) year old woman who idolizes Disney musicals and fictional teenage television characters on a second-rate basic cable channel.

    Sad :(

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  55. Why is she still in DC?

    What happened to the 24-hours plan?

    "I'm the only person I know who would go to DC for 24 hours & lug 3 formal gowns - and a slanket."

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  56. pretty weird/sad she wouldn't bother to at least try going back home for a belated mother's day thing for momsers. instead she's hanging around dc, maybe to try and milk any possible connections she can to transition there eventually. I lol @ the thought.

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  57. She probably overslept and missed her Greyhound.

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  58. Yet another WHCD post on Gawker and nary a mention of their frankenstein fameball. Countdown to stepping her crazy up to get back on their pages innnnn...

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  59. Jacy can we get another prediciton post?

    1. Releasing that sex tape
    2. Writing yet another shitty tell-all article about that senator she dated (did you know she dated a senator? she dated a senator. she got him fired after she dated the senator.)
    3. Releasing (via one of her "anonymous" tipster emails!) "stolen" nude photos. 3 year old ones, obvs.
    4. Dramatically leaving the internets for a sabbatical in Chicago (her parents have a condo downtown).

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  60. ah, all those jackles misadventures are so epic. which one to choose?

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/106036120-0-0
    copying donatella versace's look in this pose, and her orange friends lila = way to surround yourself with people who make you look better (but don't worry jackles, you're getting there!)

    and i guess her free pass at the hilton was over, so she had to crash at kimberly's after all. http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/106043727-0-0

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  61. Now, now, partypants, I believe Mr. Ford was a mere Congressman with Senatorial aspirations when he dated Julia Allison. That pretty much ended his Senatorial hopes when an oppo ad ran focussing on his preference for white chicks. Sad but true.

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  62. OMG Dys, the first thing I thought of was that "White Chicks" movie. Do you think Mr. Ford sang Vanessa Carlton to our little Karmic Cupcake up there in the mountain air?

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  63. Anon 2:06 - I read that as Julia Allison master "cleansing" her brand (whatever it is).

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  64. partypants--there is probably a secret lip dub somewhere. Our little Karmic Kupcake wore the most adorable pink ski overalls during their mountain idyll, if memory serves.

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  65. OT, but after seeing her bloated face over the weekend, I now intend to represent Julia exclusively via cabbage patch dolls.

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  66. “Julia is now a recognized expert in using new media to create and perpetuate a personal brand online.” - BigThink.com

    LOL - I just spit my coffe out of my mouth and all over my monitor after reading this.

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  67. Thanks anon. I just blerghed in my mouth a little.

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  68. Man, now I keep thinking in mock song titles.

    Julia, the magic cupcake,

    Puffy Face,

    Broken Things (feat. Meghan Asha)
    _____________
    Note to self: Stop being infantile.

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  69. Let Us Mock (ft. Lil Wayne)
    Jankles Remains the Same (ft Gavin Rossdale)
    Kryptonite Grows Where My Jankles Goes (ft Edison Lighthouse)

    yeah those sounded funnier in my head

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  70. GOOD MORNING BUNNIES!!! I know, I know, it's 3:00 in the afternoon, but I was just SO. EXHAUSTED. after the White House Correspondent's Dinner this weekend! I slept late, missed my bus back to NY and thanks to help from my tech geek girl Meghan I have miraculously found a wifi signal in the Georgetown Starbucks and I am here, blogging away. It's SO FUNNY, but people are coming up to me and asking me if I know where something is, LIKE I AM A STUDENT!! Isn't it funny that people think I am still in college. WOOT!

    Anyways, the WHCD was incredible. Randi and I had a private dinner with only DC and Hollywood's most exclusive crowd. We even had dinner with the president - isn't that amazing!???? I got a picture with my good friend Meghan McCain - I can't wait to tweet her about it!! I am super upset that I did not get a picture with CHUCK BASS or ASHTON, but I won't let that get me down. When the going gets tough, the tough girls just have to wipe their tears away, reapply their mascara and get out of that bathroom stall and move on with life, don't you know? Can't let a little thing like a missed photo opp get you down. Whew. I went to a dark place for a minute, but I shook it off. Moving on....

    I mean, readers, did Randi ZUCKERBERG and I not look ahhhh-mazing in our gorgeous gowns this weekend? So what if Randi bought hers and I had to beg to borrow mine from my frenemy's contact, and so what if Randi could afford to get her hair and makeup professionally done and actually ended up looking better than me and so what if I ACCIDENTALLY wore the same color gown as her so we would look like twins... it was still sooooo fun! I got invited on a yacht! How many people can say that they have been invited to come aboard a yacht? Not that many, friends! PERMISSION TO LET IT UNFOLD! AY AY CAPTAIN!!!!

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  71. The WHCD: Unphotoshopped Edition -

    http://tinypic.com/r/2mdqy6r/5

    Check out Julia in the left background of this photo from Randi's FB page. Her face looks puffed up to about four times its normal size. Sort of shockingly puffy actually. Just proves how much Julia photoshops the pictures she posts on her blog.

    And how it must've stung that her BFF RANDI ZUCKERBERG got a picture with Chace Crawford from Gossip Girls, but she didn't. Ouch.

    http://tinypic.com/r/23k439u/5

    Does this famewhoring faux pas lead to passive aggressive defriending in 3... 2... 1...

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  72. 'PERMISSION TO LET IT UNFOLD! AY AY CAPTAIN!!!!'

    Pure. Comedy. Gold.

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  73. Have you guys seen the I'm A Geek video doing the rounds on Twitter at the moment? It was created by Shira Lazar, so of course Julia managed to force her way in. Julia, see, you've missed the point. Having a horrible Tumblr account doesn't make you a geek! And she really doesn't deserve her section of the video (in which she's holding her dog and wearing a TUTU!) to have pride of place between the awesomenesses that are Samm Levine and Wil Wheaton (I'm ignoring David Karp).
    http://geekadvancement.com/

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  74. I refuse to watch it because they didn't ask me to be a part of it. I'm mature like that, yo.

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  75. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  76. Ugh, those bitches are not geeks. Were they bullied in grade school for being the smart kid with a turtle neck and funny glasses? HAYELL NO. They know nossing of geekdom.

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  77. More double chin goodness:

    http://tinypic.com/r/dd0q2t/5
    http://tinypic.com/r/xb9uhj/5
    http://tinypic.com/r/300wb3k/5

    Julia Allison's clip in hair is particularly bothersome today:
    http://tinypic.com/r/300wb3k/5

    Julia Allison is shocked that people don't like her:
    http://tinypic.com/r/b64u3s/5

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  78. Love it Julia's Brain - u r awesome!!!111!!!

    The press page is mondo tragic - no hyperlinking to the sources of these "quotes" in the Niceish things people have said section. Wonder why? Because in context they don't sound so positive.

    Compare NS to the iJustine website and it just looks pathetic by comparison. Also iJustine has 589,000 Twitter followers, Julia 11,000. Wasn't that Megan A chick supposed to be their business manager, bc Julia sure needs managing.

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  79. Wow the new TMI. Wow. Making saying "I love you" a game. And they wonder why they're single. Protip: If you fail at relationships, stop giving advice. Shit.

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  80. I think the entire point of that Geek video was that computer geekiness has gone mainstream. And yeah - compared to legitimate "internet stars" like iJustine and Wil Wheaton, Julia Allison is a gigantic nobody.

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  81. Commenters: I love you.
    partypants: I love me.
    Jacy, RG: I love you.
    Franzia & Velveeta: I love you.

    Wow that was so not hard. Thanks TMI!

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  82. These girls display as much emotional maturity in their craptastic TMI episodes as a Seventeen magazine article. Who says "I love you" first?
    Who the fuck cares?! Isn't this played out debate something you finally grow out of after age 22 or so??
    Like Mary's ex supposedly said, does it REALLY require him telling her he loves her on a bridge in Rome to prove that he loves her? Good lord, how needy can you get?! Your boyfriend flew you to fucking Rome, Mary. Get the fuck over that shit and be grateful your scrawny ass got a trip somewhere beyond the Denny's grand slam menu, for chrissakes.
    What a bunch of emotionally stunted loons those binitches are, ditto Meghan and her own idiotic game-playing. Or Julia STILL going on and on about one of her exes.
    And they wonder why they're still single. I think my uetrus would rot if I had to spend every damned day with those crusty twats.

    P.S. I love you

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  83. Wonk Eye Voodoo - Aw I'm not sure I want true geekiness to ever be totally mainstream (where's the fun in that?!). Although if anything's going to, well, make it so, Star Trek might just do it. I just can't get over Julia believing she should be in a video like that. It's not even a question of her fame level, I just can't believe she thinks she's of a similar mindset to Veronica Belmont, Felicia Day etc. It's incredible to me, her complete misunderstanding of her place in the world. I suppose she thinks she's the pretty girl in the sea of geeks? That everyone should be so lucky as to look like her or...? I genuinely don't understand why she's put herself in the online sphere when she could have so easily carried on making a decent living as a pundit who made people want to throw things at the television. I can't get my head round it!

    If you look at that Wikipedia definition of "geek" at the beginning of the video it's so the anti-Julia ethos in every respect.

    "A person who is interested in technology, especially computing and new media" - Only in that she thinks she can make tons of money without ever actually understanding any of it.

    "...who has chosen concentration rather than conformity" - All she does is try to conform and all she does is flit from one thing to the other with no concentration whatsoever, not even in posting pictures of cups of coffee.

    "One who passionately pursues skill and imagination, not mainstream social acceptance." - I mean...it makes my point for me, really.

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  84. I Love Julia AllisonMay 11, 2009 at 4:39 PM

    I love TMIWeekly. Every chance that Julia Allison, Meghan Asha and Mary Rambin get to display what emotionally stunted retards they are makes me a bit warm and fuzzy inside. Whew. That only took me four months to say, so you know my love must be real!

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  85. yuck, the tmi weekly videos just play to every nitwit woman stereotype there is. even the stupid in a woman's world sponsorship. and baked lays!
    and julia looks like the answer to "which of these things doesn't belong here?"

    !(she is a geek) & !(she is a dating expert)

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  86. I heard this clip from "Momsers" and, like so many other things about Julia Allison Baugher, I could not relate.

    "I love my life! It's full of a bunch of neat stuff!"

    Maybe it's just because Jaba sprung forth from her loins...but I wanted to smack her. That & the syrupy "I love you, sweetie."

    Give me my crabby, Bea Arthur mama any day.

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  87. oops.com - here is the clip referenced above.
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/89929948-0-0

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  88. why the eff doesn't julia just ANSWER THE PHONE when her parents call, instead of relegating them to voicemail?!

    momsers sounds like a valley girl.

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  89. ps. looks like julia figured out how to transfer voicemails to her computer.
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/80546371-0-0

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  90. Randi's Yellow ChompersMay 11, 2009 at 4:51 PM

    Formerly known as Sad :( but - YACK - those teeth. Julia must giggle with glee at how unsightly they are.

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  91. Jacy

    How did you find Julia's Press?

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  92. All anyone would have to do is search for "Julia Allison" on Tumblr and find it, Anon 5:10.

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  93. nostalgia...

    underwater poofiness!
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/18483903--

    happier times before the nonsociety plague hit!
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/20571947--

    julia is an expert on personal branding!
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/19419714--

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  94. Randi's Periodontal DiseaseMay 11, 2009 at 5:47 PM

    @Randi's Yellow Chompers - her teeth KILL ME every. single. time. I see her smiling.

    It's not just the yellowish tint. It's also the shape. Like little rat teeth. Fer chrissakes! Get thee to a dentist, Randi: STAT!

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  95. Jacy could you crop this shot of ja someone posted above and put it in one of your future posts please?
    http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2mdqy6r&s=5

    Randi should wear makeup more often, she looks gorgeous in the pics from the WH event. ja looks awful. why is her eye so much worse than before even? does anyone else think the smaller eye is the normal one? for some reason i have this theory that she tried to have them look bigger by getting some sort of surgery but only 1 eye took, so the "wonk" eye is actually the original eye. just a theory.

    julia's brain. i love your comments!

    anon 4:43 i actually think her mom has influencd and encouraged her current behavior. it's completely conjectrure but it's just the feeling I get

    5:47 I think randi's dad is a dentist

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  96. @Anon 7:26PM

    re: Randi's dad is a dentist? Oh, the irony!

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  97. 7:29

    I think so, but don't quote me on it (ha ha as if anyone would quote "anon 7:26" on anything), but I'm pretty sure he is. I think she said so in a video interview i saw of her by robert scoble

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  98. "His [Mark Zuckerberg's] father Edward is a dentist in Dobbs Ferry, New York" (Wikipedia)

    it's like one big ironic slanket covering her teeth.

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  99. GARYYYYYY!! gary! You didn't come over over to watch falcon crest and you didnt get my number off twitter to call. oh gary why do you love jackles so????

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