Friday, May 15, 2009

The Sadness Knows No Bounds

Honey, can we talk again? I am offering you this exercise in contrast because I want the truthfulness of what Joni Mitchell is signing about to somehow make it past all your defenses. She sings it slower here than she does on Ladies of the Canyon, so hopefully the words may resonate for you more than they might usually. I have provided links for you in case you are confused about what I am rapping about here. Here Joni is reflecting on all that you covet with trepidation and mild disgust. She wrote and performed this music herself. This is what personal achievement looks like, honey. 



Not this.


Allow the differences here to 'percolate' before choosing your path at this so-called fork in the road you claim to have reached. I suspect that nothing has changed really. As long as Ayn Rand and Eckert Tolle are all that occupy space on your bookshelf, you aren't going anywhere. 

But just as I maintain hope to one day get a glimpse of your prime rump in all it's glory, O Faerie Queene, I also hope to see a sow's ear become silken. 

Love, 
Your One True Friend


50 comments:

  1. Borrrring.

    Michael McDonald, you fail as a blog contributor.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, my beloved anonymous 5:52 hater, don't you recognize an intervention when you see one? Or does general humorlessness prevent that?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Julia requires a guide right now. We've entered her quarter life + 3 Years crisis. Michael is here to help.

    ReplyDelete
  4. uh, this twat doesn't deserve a guide. and she's already got more than one: eckhart tolle, benjamin button quotes, and the secret. not to mention LIU.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yup. And these lyrics from Joni's Barangrill:

    The guy at the gaspumps
    He's got a lot of soul
    He sings Merry Christmas for you
    Just like Nat King Cole
    And he makes up his own tune
    Right on the spot
    About whitewalls and windshields
    And this job he's got
    And you want to get moving
    And you want to stay still
    But lost in the moment
    Some longing gets filled
    And you even forget to ask
    "Hey, Where's Barangrill?"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, she does need help. Her parents have obvi abandoned her.

    But you know what is sad?

    Though her stupid 'work it bitch' video is FUCKING AWFUL! it also shows just how far she has fallen in just over a year.

    She has no connections and not even the slightest increment of good will left.

    A total disaster.

    ReplyDelete
  7. wow, that Supermodel video was excruitiating. Another wasted opportunity of course. It could have been well done, but of course those 2 are so obsessed with themselves that they think video of them boppin around in front of a camera is enough. Could have been cute if they had more of a plan/choreography, and if the video wasn't 90% of them. Also, showing a model's ass during the lyric "million dollar derierre"? Total fail.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a bitch.

    #
    Dorky wrote on May 13, 3:17 pm

    Julia, you have been quite rude and condescending in some of your responses to us. This is not appreciated and creates feelings of ill-will, and it's not the way to foster community among your readers.

    You have come down on those of us who spoke of our success by not playing games.... and yet... you are constantly unlucky in love. Maybe you could start listening and taking to heart success stories instead of sticking to your own outdated ideas.
    reply to comment
    #
    JuliaAllison wrote on May 14, 11:22 pm

    Hi there,

    I apologize. I suppose I think it's far more funny to joke about being single than it is to joke about having a series of pretty fantastic relationships - which is, to be honest, far more accurate.

    In fact, most of my adult life I've been in happy relationships (I've been engaged, I've lived with two boyfriends, and I've been blessed to hear and say "I love you" more times than I can count). :)

    I'm glad you are happy in your relationship - it doesn't really matter what you did to get there, now does it?

    We talk about these issues because a lot of women think about them. Just because you didn't doesn't mean others don't. Try to see beyond your own perspective!

    And if you can't do that - Don't worry so much about it!

    Have a great day."

    ReplyDelete
  9. SomeProblems-

    I thought the same thing re: how far she's fallen in only a year. She still had a tiny bit of sparkle --- there was a future to Julia Allison.

    Now? Nothing. Dead on arrival.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's so STRANGE that you can't just Have a great day!
    @6:18

    ReplyDelete
  11. It would just be so refreshing for her to just say, "I see your point, thanks for your perspective" and MOVE. ON.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  13. "I'm glad you are happy in your relationship - it doesn't really matter what you did to get there, now does it?"

    Actualllllllllllllllly...........? uhhhhhh. Yes it does.

    "Just because you didn't doesn't mean others don't."

    I think that sentence is the passphrase to make the Earth rotate in the other direction.

    Oh and also, being engaged and living with 2 men and still being single isn't something I'd brag about. But just because I didn't and don't doesn't mean that others don't, didn't, do, daunt, dare, didn't diddle daddle and daddy. WHOOPS, did I say daddy? I meant ummm... HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. And this has been bothering me for a while - if you are going to do a lipdub then learn the frikken words! She picks songs (with possibly the exception of the little mermaid one) where she messes up a bunch of the words. Your only job here is to mouth what they are saying. If you don't know what they are saying - then pick another crappy song and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I made it to 0:12 before the sky turned black and my stigmata started twitching

    ReplyDelete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so happy to have almost made it down the aisle on SEVERAL OCCASIONS!
    Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Chubeh,

    Surely you know that human beings aren't perfect? And, obvs, I'm of the human race and cannot possibly know. every. single. word. I'm so busy and so happy!

    Have a great day!
    xox
    Julia :-)))))))))!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anon 6:18:
    She leaps from "I apologize" to "Try to see beyond your own perspective." Total FAIL

    And yet another Julia Allison Baugher misogynist gem to be passed down through the ages: "I'm glad you are happy in your relationship - it doesn't really matter what you did to get there, now does it?"

    Me? Lock up your husbands and boyfriends, girls! I shamelessly flirt with ALL known rich and/or perceived to be powerful men! Married, socially marginal, or geriatric! I'll strategically date them!! GHAW! Ghaw! GHAW! Oh don't be so serious, I'm just kidding!!!!!! And stop being such a victim. You were going to dump him anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Julia's back to posting inspirational Benjamin Button quotes

    ReplyDelete
  21. For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

    -

    - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

    I came across this quote again, and it resonated with me even more now than it did in February.

    ReplyDelete
  22. nomsociety I died @ that comment.. thank you.

    But really she's such a fucking ass, I need to dissect this.

    "I apologize. (note that this isn't the same as saying I'M SORRY, particularly not coming from her. It's just another "it's unfortunate that you were offended) I suppose I think it's far more funny to joke about being single than it is to joke about having a series of pretty fantastic relationships - which is, to be honest, far more accurate.
    (Is it? I wonder how the restraining order, the public slamming via Forman among their peers, the cutting off of all communication from one of her fiances who she still incessantly blogs about, the "don't tell ANYONE" policies of Ben L., and other apparent failures and distancing of her exes - aside from Dan it would seem - figure into this?)In fact, most of my adult life I've been in happy relationships (I've been engaged, I've lived with two boyfriends, and I've been blessed to hear and say "I love you" more times than I can count). :) (Yep.. and yet, LOOK AT YOU NOW. 3 blind dates in an evening that you're relating to loads of laundry. Planning weddings when you don't even have a steady relationship. As Megs would say, VERY NICE!)I'm glad you are happy in your relationship - it doesn't really matter what you did to get there, now does it? (Wait, it doesn't? What was this episode about again? That "glad" is loaded with passive-aggression because she - the dating columnist - doesn't even HAVE one to speak of) We talk about these issues because a lot of women think about them. Just because you didn't doesn't mean others don't. Try to see beyond your own perspective! (Do they? I'd love to see the research that isn't manufactured by those trying to market "stuff women are interested in" through presentations of women having hot flashes, ignoring exercise, and then, eating baked lays! Try to see beyond your own perspective = BITCH, SEE MY PERSPECTIVE & AGREE OR SHUT UP.)And if you can't do that - Don't worry so much about it! (I seriously laughed. out. loud. Don't worry? How about she completely stops viewing your shitty webshow completely? I think everyone should stop worrying about "it", "it" being the monstrosity you're putting on the web. In fact, they should ignore it.) Have a great day. (I'M REALLY NICE Y'ALL. What, no smiley emote? Oh, she must have been EXTRA peeved typing this gem up.)"

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's so strange that I used to think one main characteristic of a successful relationship was, I don't know, continuity. I also used to think the term successful relationship implied it not going up in flames and resulting in one party shutting the other party out of their lives. How naive of me.
    The only at least semi-successful relationship I can see in Julia Allison Baugher's life is the one with Dan because it still exists, although on different terms. The rest? Debris and fall-out, but I'm probably only suffering from tunnelvision.

    ReplyDelete
  24. RE: Forman, wasn't that all manufactured?

    I.e., didn't Julia *plan* that speech with Forman? She knew what it was going to be beforehand (maybe even gave "notes"), told Forman to go with it, made sure she was there in the audience, all so that afterward she could use it for PR ( "Talk about what a good sport I am...")?

    ReplyDelete
  25. #
    Sarina wrote on May 14, 9:56 am

    "And they probably let themselves go." - Meghan, that is a really bitchy, condescending thing to say about Mary's friends who were married and had babies. To assume that women "let themselves go" after getting married or having children is a really sexist, sad and disgusting notion. After this statement and the one on the previous episode about treating "I love you" as a game, I thought you were smarter than that, but I was wrong.
    reply to comment
    #
    Meghan Asha wrote on May 14, 12:18 pm

    Sarina- I agree, that was QUITE the statement. I think my green-eyed jealously came out in that episode. It's frustrating to be single, as all your friends back home are married. I appreciate your honesty, it's very helpful.
    reply to comment
    #
    JuliaAllison wrote on May 14, 11:10 pm

    I don't think it's frustrating to be single - I love being single!

    Don't take Meghan's comment so seriously. Many of us have been in relationships and let ourselves go before. It's not that uncommon.

    ReplyDelete
  26. @anon 6:18

    My perspective is that anyone who by age 28 has been engaged once, and lived with two boyfriends, has not exactly been "successful" in their relationships. In fact, I would say they make pretty damn poor decisions and have bad judgement. If that were me, I would pretty disappointed in myself, that is not is not healthy nor rational behavior.

    Am I alone in this thought? People are too eager to move in for all the wrong reasons.

    ReplyDelete
  27. HAH, my TMI comment got posted. I'm dropping it here for posterity in case it gets deleted.

    "That's so strange that you would say that Sarina! How do you assume people don't like her? I'm afraid you're very sadly mistaken, she actually has MANY close friends. It's really sad that you can't seem to grasp that. HAVE A NICE DAY. :)

    See what I did there?

    Thanks for owning up to your error, Meghan. Pretty big of you."

    ReplyDelete
  28. I LOATHE how Julia always acts like everyone is so worried/worked up about these annoying actions she continually dishes out. Just because we happen to disagree with something and publically call her out on it, she always condecendingly responds with shit like, "Don't worry about it!" or "It's not worth getting worked up over!" or some equally as passive-agressive put-down to folks who actually bother to voice their opinions to her.
    What a cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  29. 7:39, I have to agree. She holds it up as a badge of honor that she's had "fantastic relationships" without also acknowledging they've all failed and ended, usually with the other party wanting absolutely nothing to do with her while she STILL mentions them frequently. So... she almost made it to the alter twice and lived with two boyfriends? That's adorable. I'm 25, not interested in a relationship as I'm instead preferring to focus on career aspirations for now, and practically lived with my (first ever) BF when I was 21 without ever actually moving into his house. I broke it off with him, he wanted to get back together and I chose not to, we're still really good friends and love each other as we always did even while we won't ever get back together. I'm really not the slightest bit impressed with her patting herself on the back over her relationships, particularly when she's left with no other option but blind dates because of her horrible reputation and the possibility of being googled by a potential mate.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'd really like to know how and why someone who is supposedly so happy being single keeps going on blind (read: matchmaker) dates and is apparently obsessed with the idea of marriage. I don't get it, tbqh.

    ReplyDelete
  31. It's so annoying when people define themselves through their relationships or feel like they really neeeeed to have/be in one in order to be complete. Julia cannot even hide it, you can tell that she feels like a failure because she's a dating columnist and lately hasn't been able to hold a man. How about this Jules? Be a total, independent person first before you try and find someone to essentially 'complete you'. Christ.

    ReplyDelete
  32. It's no wonder why she doesn't allow comments on NS, she has no clue how to have an actual debate and for someone who's still bragging about being on her high school debate team, that's just sad.

    There are people who live their entire lives happily single. There are some people who don't view saying 'I love you' as some sort of strategic mind game. There are some people who know that tutus and fairy wings (you know she has a pair of those somewhere) are not appropriate attire for anyone over the age of ten who isn't dancing in La Sylphides or Sleeping Beauty.

    ReplyDelete
  33. 8:23 PM, to Julia's credit I recall her saying she participated on the debate team but wasn't that good. She all but said she was on it because Dan and the crowd she hung out were on it.

    ReplyDelete
  34. (8:34 ctd) So it's not surprising that Julia isn't exactly a strong debater now.

    ReplyDelete
  35. @8:34....oh ok, well then...that makes it perfectly logical that she's still talking about it....

    ReplyDelete
  36. 8:34 PM: So it was All About Her Boyfriend. How Feminist.com of her!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Why does it look like she has a speech impediment during the chorus? Was this a lispdub?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Julia's SAT WordsMay 15, 2009 at 9:02 PM

    Is she going on these dates for fun or for an assignment (other than her lifecast)? I remember she was starting this around Valentine's Day (right?), but it's still going on and it's May and she lost the TONY job.

    ReplyDelete
  39. 24 dates in 24 hours, right 9:02?


    24 Dates in 24 Hours

    Remember that Time Out New York piece I was meant to do - but didn’t have time in between Vegas & Munich/Davos? I’m still doing it, but it’s rescheduled for April.

    Stay single until then, fellas.

    And if anyone has suggestions on where I should have these 24 dates (in a diner?? a bar? multiple places?) please email me! Julia@NonSociety.com
    ----

    And you're still writing for TONY? RIGHHHHHT.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Link for 24 dates in 24 hours blog link:

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/85094790-0-1-24%20dates

    ReplyDelete
  41. taken down, Jingy.

    COLOR ME SUPPRIZED

    ReplyDelete
  42. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  43. oh, wait.

    i did a search for "24 dates" and found the link, but then i clicked on it and got an empty entry box again.

    has she manually taken down a bunch of her blog entries, but they're still showing up in the archives / search results, just not as entries?

    wtf is she up to now?

    ReplyDelete
  44. 9:32 if you search for 24 days on her blog it comes out but link doesn't work.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I think that's what happening. I most certainly could click on the post to enlarge 10 minutes ago. She must be manually deleting! Hi Yoolio! HAVE A NICE DAY! And don't think too much about it, it' NOT a big deal. Really. Just don't read here if you don't like it! It's not that hard. Really!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. NomSociety, Anon 8:34 here. You are right but...since when does JA do anything logical? Or she bragged about it but forgot that earlier she hadn't really bragged about it. Or something. The head spins.

    ReplyDelete
  47. 8:34, the important question is if she didn't doesn't then do others? HMMMMMMMMMMM? PS. DONUTS!

    ReplyDelete
  48. A Question Julia,

    When we highlight every blog post will you delete each one?

    Who is smarter at PR JA? A dumbo named Julia or the internet at large?

    ReplyDelete
  49. She's obviously upset about her fans calling her out in the TMI comments section. If she had control, they'd already be deleted like the lunch.com comments.

    Run for cover, Jules! Have a great Day! xoxox :-)!

    ReplyDelete
  50. I just did a search for '24 dates' on NS and found this:

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/main.php?search=24+dates

    On Jan 17th she posted the TONY 'Go on a date with Julia Allison!' ad:

    "File Under: Julia is a Masochist.com

    My editors asked me to do “24 Dates in 24 Hours” for the Singles issue (this is in addition to my column on NYC’s matchmakers) and January 22nd is the only 24 hour period I have in New York for the next two weeks, so … yeah."

    Then she posted this on March 10th:

    "24 Dates in 24 Hours

    Remember that Time Out New York piece I was meant to do - but didn’t have time in between Vegas & Munich/Davos? I’m still doing it, but it’s rescheduled for April.

    Stay single until then, fellas.

    And if anyone has suggestions on where I should have these 24 dates (in a diner?? a bar? multiple places?) please email me! Julia@NonSociety.com"

    And of course, nothing after that, since she got the ax from TONY.

    ReplyDelete