I sorry I have not post too much this week. I have been on 16-day bender. It is fun (except for the wake-up-in-own-vom part).
ANYWHO! There are some Tweets that Poofy send that MUST. NOT. GO. UNDISCUSSED. I give you:
DECIDED TODAY: I am going to have breakdancers at my wedding.
Dear Future JA Bridesmaids: You do realize you'll be wearing huge bright pink gowns, right? Just checking. Five years in advance. xoxo, JA
Um, how I say this nicely.
FIVE YEARS?!?!?!??!?!! At this rate, you will be 61-looking in 2014! Chop, chop, Poofy! (The photo above was taken roughly two-and-half years ago. Think about THAT!)
By the way, whatever happen to the 24 Dates in 24 Hours thingie that you babble so much about?
Innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnteresting.
Nice tits.
ReplyDeleteRG, I die of snorting each time I read your posts.
seriously she is dime a dozen pretty in nyc. don't know what she is trying to prove!
ReplyDelete"The gold pumpkin? That's where I keep the scrotums of my old lovers. The slow-moving ones, anyway. Mary uses them to help design her handbags."
ReplyDeletethose are some hot tits though damn
ReplyDeleteWow. I forget how hot she used to be.
ReplyDeleteI also had no idea it was possible for one's looks to deteriorate so rapidly and so markedly without being a meth-head.
breakdaanncers!!!! at my wedding!!!!! i am so quirky and fun guys! seriously how can you people not love me???? i am beyond fucking adorbs and unique!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy does always hot tits seem to equal mentally deranged?
ReplyDeleteShe'll have bridesmen, all of her Exs, lined up in a row. She'll dedicate a goodbye to each former love prior to taking her vows.
ReplyDelete*goodbye ode
ReplyDeleteJA's new them song..
ReplyDeleteAin't No Rest for the Wicked, Cage The Elelphant
Breaking news via tumblr:
ReplyDelete"
Tumblarity changes
My inside source just filled me in on a bit of information that may be of interest to those of you who have noticed a drastic drop in tumblarity today: Due to some users not being so happy with the algorithm, it was redesigned to be much more follower-based.
Posted on May 14"
The "SOME USERS" link to Julia Allison.
http://blog.benwasser.com/post/107887994/tumblarity-changes
ReplyDelete"(I was also informed today that my blog is more popular than Julia Allison’s according to Tumblarity. That puts a whole lot of perspective on the fameballing atmosphere of Tumblr. When Gawker writers kept insisting that nobody gave a shit about Julia Allison, I always kind of thought they meant nobody gave a shit relative to how much people give a shit about, say, Gawker, or some other similarly famous web site. Turns out there are seriously just no shits being given.)"
ReplyDeletehttp://rorymarinich.tumblr.com/post/107378081/so-ive-got-this-great-idea-for-a-new-blog-where
Tj, she's getting slammed on twitter for this behavior. Her tumblarity is not impressive and karp was asked to change algorithm. So says gossip.
God she used to be hot. It guess it is true. Fat girls really can't get away with thing things pretty girls can.
ReplyDeleteMary has been PURGED from NonSociety... about... I don't know, months after she quit?
ReplyDeleteBecause you know, the back end stuff is just SO HARD, and it's not like the "tech" blogger would know how to delete some simple code...
I just can't believe that spoiled brat spent $400 on a lawn chair WHEN THERE'S NO GUARANTEE SHE'LL EVER RENT A PLACE W/A BALCONY AGAIN! DUMB ASS!!!!
ReplyDeletethe latest lipdub is so painful. i mean, they're allllll so incredibly embarrassing to watch but for real girl, if the brightest spot in your life is that you went to georgetown, things are seriously bad for you. i went to a school on the same level as georgetown, but im not still wandering around the campus pathetically and filming my self lip synch to a dumb song. grow up!
ReplyDeletei especially like how she only showed her face. thanks for sparing us, jules.
ReplyDeleteToolia is spewing out Tumblr posts. Geez, both NS and JuliaAllisonPress are chocker block with all her media clippings from years past.
ReplyDeleteLeading up to some great denouncement of the web/media/famewhoring I presume?
@BunnyBingo
ReplyDeleteNah, she's just preening to impress her three dates. I'm not alone, I assume, in hoping they begin instead with the Easter fuckbunny postings and reconsider the cost of the evening, or their 1/3 of it.
I love how she has so much blush on that it looks like someone punched her in the face.
ReplyDeleteVery strange, it seems all the self PR posts have now gone from NS, they were there a few minutes ago.
ReplyDeleteFear not though for http://juliaallisonpress.tumblr.com/ is being updated like craaaaazy.
Yep, those poor triple-dip date fellows.
Julia I know you're reading this: GO TO BED!
ReplyDeleteFunny thing about the photos in those PR posts on juliaallisonpress -- if you put those outfits on a truly beautiful woman (say, Leighton Meester), she could never project the hooker vibe that Julia manages so effortlessly and naturally. And that's special, no? ;-)
ReplyDeleteyou have to give her credit- she looks amazing in those pictures. i have a feeling she'll be back into fighting shape soon, what with all the important dates coming up (wedding, class reunion, etc.). she still has time to turn it around and look gorgeous again, it's just a matter of taking care of herself- which she has obviously failed to do lately.
ReplyDeleteoh, so THIS is why she always flexes her calves in photos
ReplyDeletehttp://8.media.tumblr.com/k9A7Pq512ni739ydU665xRLVo1_400.png
Jules,
ReplyDeleteAin't NO Rest for the Wicked
And Money Don't Grow on Trees
http://juliasbadpress.tumblr.com/
ReplyDeleteA work in progress. Feel free to email me interesting links and quotes.
out of the mouths of babes or in this case the mentally deranged:
ReplyDeleteMe: I need a place to donate clothing.
Friend: Try Dress for Success!
Me: Um ... have you *seen* my wardrobe? I’m not sure that sending them donations would lead to Success in any profession other than, say, prostitution ... at Disneyland.
we have a best Friday post ever!
Give me my effing bingo square..
Or a drink with PP..
SWEET. More like a gallon jug of drink amirite? Contact me and we will go out. I hope it's ok if my ex shows up to take pics of us for my blog, and if I maybe publish all our interactions. I might tweet about our date on the date while you try to talk to me.
ReplyDeleteI think she agrees to these dates because she's part of some shady matchmaker/escort service. Think about it:
ReplyDelete- three dates lined up in one day
- complaining about having to go on dates, much like she complains about work
- 'blind' dates indicate a set up
- dates often happen late at night - I mean, how can you really set up three dinner dates in one day?
- no TONY article or excuse for why she is going on three dates in a day
Add it up. Girlfriend is a call girl.
JuliaAllisonPress.tumblr.com is pointless. Everything on there is over a year old. Hang it up Julia - you are a HAS BEEN.
ReplyDeleteOh god, that lip dub is painful. Her unhappiness and depression is palpable.
ReplyDeletedesperately posting old press clippings in the hopes to excite her dates is the equivalent of using 10-year-old photos on match.com. YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT ANYMORE, JULIA!!
ReplyDeleteSo I guess this photo was taken at her peak of popularity? Meh. Averagely pretty girls like her are a dime a dozen in New York. She is really nothing that special, even when she was thinner and prettier. Now? She looks like my alcoholic Aunt Myrtle from Dubuque.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm ovulating or something because I'm feeling generous. I can't really blame her for using old photos or only the flattering ones. Julia Allison is not a blogger for her real life. She is trying to sell her brand. She's trying to be a celebrity. Celebrities don't release unflattering photos - new or otherwise - which is why we all love those "OMG STARS WITHOUT MUTHAFUCKIN MAKEUP!!! BEASTFACES" mags and websites. She's put on some weight or something (I don't know, I'm not all up in her life) so until julverine looks good again we are going to see old pics.
ReplyDeleteI don't even care about her physical looks. I just like making fun of that new "retiree at a waffle house in boca raton" wardrobe she's got going on lately.
Well, the joke is on them when Julia Allison shows up to a date or speaking engagement and is most definitely NOT the person portrayed on
ReplyDeletehttp://juliaallisonpress.tumblr.com/
PP: If I had a picture with my jugs looking like that, I'd put it up on the WWW every now and then too. Alas, I do not.
ReplyDeleteTJ I would staple it to my forehead every morning, are you kidding me
ReplyDeleteShe's wearing a corset. Corsets make anyone's jugs look amazing. I can't get past that nasty makeup to notice though.
ReplyDeleteDoes she or does she not have fake boobs?
ReplyDeleteI don't think she has fake boobs - Just a good push up bra and fat. You can tell how saggy they are when she wears plunging halter dresses.
ReplyDeletejuliasbadpress----love the site, definitely needs more mention of her whole name for The Googles.
ReplyDeleteBUT!!! is the photo of her in lingerie and the old man (that gawker photo shoot) really "bad press"? no need to slut-shame her.
bojankles-- I don't think that counts as slut-shaming. (Unless... did she sleep with the old man?) The rest of y'all should correct me if this is wrong, but my impression of that photoshoot was that Gawker set it up as a sort of ironic thing, and Julia -- with her total lack of self-awareness -- made herself the butt of the joke. Again.
ReplyDeleteJulia, normal people usually have a fiance before they start planning their wedding.
ReplyDeleteA wedding is not just another excuse for you to be at the center of a large social function. If you want pink clad women and break dancers you should put on a Talent Night at your 4H Club.
My 3 year old son saw this picture and said "Look at the witch".
ReplyDeleteI thought this was Jordan/Katie Price tbh
ReplyDelete