Saturday, May 16, 2009

Contest Winner: Julia's Announcement That She's Going to Harvard Business School




It was a neck-and-neck battle all week for supremacy between Jackles's Harvard Business School debacle and her demand of a Mac Book Air from [REDACTED] shortly after outing his mental health issues on Gawker. Another successful former relationship, by the way! So well-adjusted, our Jackles!

Let's read back on some of Jackles's HBS entries just for fun:


Why not??

So I can’t stop thinking about getting an MBA, for some reason. Regular readers of this blog know how obsessed I am with college and lectures and dorky things like underlining and annotating books that I read for fun (did I mention that I do that? I do.) I’ve been out of school for almost five years now - HOLY SHIT, [insert cliche about time here] - and the truth is, I really wouldn’t mind going back. I could see myself getting a lot out of such an experience.

I wouldn’t give up NonSociety - I’d just lifecast / run the business from school! I know, I know, like you were worried I’d go silent. NOT. POSSIBLE. I’ll be blogging from the grave.

Either way, I’m going to apply to both Stanford and Harvard for fall of 2009. Why not?? Unless I’ve missed the deadlines … I have to check on that.

PS. As my parents were driving me to the airport today, my dad told me that my mom had applied and gotten accepted at the U of Chicago business school when she was my age, but turned it down, because she couldn’t find a way to pay for it. I have no idea how I would pay for business school either, but I suppose I can cross that bridge if and when I get to it.

PPS. I haven’t been this excited in a long time. LEARNING YAY!!!!!!!!!!!



And here's the requisite manufactured e-mail of support in the face of all the haters. "I find it so strange you would take issue with me wanting to follow my dreams!"

Reader Email:

"My decision to go to [Harvard] business school was a spur-of-the-moment, it-sounds-like-fun-so-why-the-hell-not decision."

Now here’s a pull quote if I ever read one: “[Harvard Business School] is the academic equivalent to getting a really hot body while you are doing something you really enjoy (like dancing and eating cupcakes).”

From: [redacted - female!] Date: November 30, 2008 12:56:58 AM EST To: Julia Allison
Subject: Few thoughts on HBS


I am 35 now (wow. I forget that sometimes) - I went to HBS in my late 20s. Graduated in 2001. My work experience before school consisted of a couple of years as an underpaid flunkie at an ad agency, then two more years in Marketing at [redacted]. Nothing earth shattering. The truth is that people come to HBS with a HUGE range of backgrounds/experiences - from the classic banker & consultant to artists (and everything in between). Oddly enough, lots of guys from the military end up matriculating, too.

It’s a phenomenal mix of people - chances are whatever you are discussing on any given day in class, there is someone there who has first hand experience.
The classes are fantastic - I assume you know about the case study method? (essentially you read business cases on a particular subject, then come to class ready to explain / defend your viewpoint.) Not the traditional lecture approach - much more interactive.

It is an AMAZING way to learn. It is the academic equivalent to getting a really hot body while you are doing something you really enjoy (like dancing and eating cupcakes).
The application was a pain in the ass, but I find all applications tedious. I don’t know what the deadlines are, but I assume there are a few rounds with due dates in Dec, Jan and Feb or something…

The biggest hurdle is the GMAT - you’ll want to study for it, even if you are a great test taker. Let’s see, what else? I already told you the people are great, Boston is a great town when you are in school (I hate it for regular life), so you’ll have a lot of fun. You will make some of the best friends of your life, I can promise you.

Don’t worry about how you’ll pay for it. I was 100% loans and was fine (they are all paid off at this point, and I’ve been out of school for 7 years). School debt is cheap, relatively speaking. You remind me of myself a little bit - my decision to go to business school was a spur-of-the-moment, it-sounds-like-fun-so-why-the-hell-not decision. It turns out that it was one of the most fulfilling and life changing things I have ever done. I say go for it.

Rock on,
[redacted]

59 comments:

  1. she is such a douche! did she even apply? it's one thing to try and fail (i believe HBS has a less than 10% admit rate), but to make all this noise and not follow through is pathetic! and, to make things even worse, she never bothers to explain why she did not pursue this. i don't think there's any doubt that she is just plain LAZY (mixed in with a good amount of STUPID)...

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  2. but she is more than J-Lo stupid

    To pull a jackles, to deny reality to such an extent that the internet tells you to STFU

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  3. That is the most hilariously ridiculous photo of her. Yay.com!!!

    Pleated mini-skirts -- nice look. Not.

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  4. "So I can’t stop thinking about getting an MBA, for some reason." ...because, perhaps, your "journalism" career is on life support, and the attempt at starting your own business based on your fame-whoring ways failed diasterously? Oh, and considering the little miss feminist that Julia Allison fancies herself, there's always that overarching reason: MBA equals an MRS degree.

    "Regular readers of this blog know how obsessed I am with college and lectures and dorky things like underlining and annotating books that I read for fun"
    You're more obsessed with high school than college. The only "obsession" you have with college is listing off the names of famous people who teach classes at GEORGETOWN!GEORGETOWN!GEORGETOWN!
    And the books you read for fun are largely self-help books. Julia, you're hardly diving into Russian literature. Can you think of the last time you bought a book that wasn't listed on the front rack of an airport bookstore?

    "(did I mention that I do that? I do.)"
    Yes, you have mentioned that. Numerous times, but your image of yourself as some super-intellectual type is as authentic as your hair extensions and nose.

    "and the truth is, I really wouldn’t mind going back. I could see myself getting a lot out of such an experience."
    By alot of the experience, you mean that "fuck you money" obtained through your MRS degree.

    Sad:(

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  5. WHAT IN THE HELL KIND OF GD OUTFIT IS THAT

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  6. CakeGate was robbed! I smell ballot stuffing! This is going to the Supreme Court!

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  7. Obviously she didn't apply to either. She couldn't fit in the time to fill out the detailed applications as she had the opening of the Manta rollercoaster at SeaWorld to attend to that weekend. Priorities people!

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  8. Dress Barn has a junior's section? Huh.

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  9. Can someone explain the lip dub thing? Why does she post those? She seems to have some purpose with them but I don't know where to find her explanation.

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  10. Great photo of Our Lady in a "business suit" from the DEB store at Old Orchard Mall. You know Old Orchard, don't cha Jackels?

    As usual she's shoe horned herself into a 3/4 when she needs a 9/10 in junior sizes.

    I'm not body snarking. I'm simply for people wearing the size that most flatters them while also being comfortable. That waistband must be hurting her internal organs.

    There were other HBS posts--

    JA fretted about the GMATs but was sure. she'd. do. okay. if only she. could. find. time. to. study.

    And she assured us that she grew up listening to lecture tapes and not watching Tv which made her MOST prepared for Harvard.

    Getting in would. not . be. a . problem. And, OH, yes, she knows HBS uses a different lecture/note taking system and she's fine with that!

    Have a Nice Day, bunnies!!!

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  11. A few more responses:

    1) I KNOW that biz school requires the GMAT. I know! Stanford offers the option of the GRE as an alternative. But yes, I know. And yes, I realize I’d have to study. But, um … I’m pretty good at taking tests.

    2) I don’t care about “recruiting relationships” - I’m not looking for a job. I have a job. I just want to learn and be surrounded by other people who also want to learn. So maybe business school isn’t the place to do that? Hmmm.

    3) The only thing that really peeved me here was when she said my little brother - who is (as everyone who reads this blog is sick of hearing) - getting his phd in quantum physics at MIT - couldn’t handle Business School math. REALLY?? Obviously I’m overly defensive, but - come on.

    4) I did appreciate the reality check, however, especially with regard to being able to work simultaneously. That’s sort of a deal breaker, as I can’t exactly abandon the business. I suppose I imagined business school to be like college for older, less binge-drinky type people, where you can certainly run a business and be a student at the same time.

    I will definitely read more about the degree, talk to MBA grads and visit HBS next weekend. But I’m concerned that people - especially women like myself - never even consider such a process because others insinuate they can’t handle it. I might not know if it’s best for me, but I do know that I could hold my own at any business school.

    If these responses came out sounding bitchy, please know that was not my intention. I’m a bit tired, and I’ve been living in a fantasy land of going back to my favorite parts of college for the past 24 hours, which put me on Cloud 9. It hurts to be brought back to earth.

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/62222457-0-9-HBS

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  12. "(PS. Yes, I do consider this fun. To give you some context here, my family never gave video games for Christmas - we weren’t allowed to have any sort of Nintendo, and we watched tv on average an hour a week, if that - my parents would give each other, and us, Teaching Company lectures. That’s what we did/do for fun. Maybe weird, but … well, I like it. And I want to raise my children like that, too.)"

    See, I think like any normal child, you DIDN"T like it, Julia. Let's be realz.

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  13. TV is completely irrelevant to JA, which is why she totally wouldn't sell her own kidney to get a reality television on Bravo amiright?

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  14. D'oh! '..get a reality television show...'

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  15. And she does not cry when watching Gossip Girl, only when reading Tolstoy. In the original Russian.

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  16. So she is obviously overcompensating for all she missed out on during childhood. Thanks a lot, Edu-Nazis.

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  17. The oddest duck in my class is this kid whose mom purchased duplicates of all the workbooks and curriculum guides in my classroom. His room at home is outfitted, per mom's description, with a "Judy" clock, alphabet wall post in Manuscript and Cursive, and math game "manipulatives."

    Kid is INSANE at school and performs no better than the average kid. Edu-Nazis explain half of her issues to me...

    The other weird, male relationship stuff...that's from somewhere else.

    --

    Also, let me guess what Jackles' retort to this post would be:

    "Surely, you've gotten excited about something only to realize it's not feasible. Have a great day!!! xoxo"

    Yes, surely, I have. However, I have enough foresight to only bug those immediately around me with my "great idea" and not broadcast it at my place of business or blog. And if I do, I excuse my nuttiness later with something like, "What a lame idea that was! I can't possibly afford business school!"

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  18. She looks like an insane muppet in that photo. The outfit, the dead-eyed/overexcited expression, the hair, the pose--she just needs a big hand going under the flared skirt and she'd be instantly ready to spar with the likes of Miss Piggy and Lambchop.

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  19. Have you noticed that Julia was running Google adds for www.Louboutinbox.com on NS. That is a company that sells fake designer shoes. See http://www.askfashionkitty.com/2009/04/dear-fashion-kitty-louboutin-ads.html

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  20. As someone who busted my ass to get into Columbia b-school, I found her declaration she was going to Harvard (or Stanford!) just disgusting. She truly did absolutely no research or put any thought into her idea. Any admissions committee would be able to see through her so quickly. And Stanford these days is even harder to get into than Harvard, btw.

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  21. http://bigthink.com/ideas/julia-allison-on-web-platforms

    “95% of the human race is terribly creative, and up until now they haven’t had a lot of means for expression. Except for maybe…scrap-booking.”

    Guys, someone's going to have to tell the folks at the Met about this....'See none of this Van Gogh crap is creative cause it doesnt use the INTERNET.'

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  22. oh my god, that video just shows that she has multiple personality disorder.

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  23. If you're so sure she wouldn't get in, why the fuck do you care?

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  24. Watch Meghanaise's sister is the New NS contributor:

    http://meghan.nonsociety.com/lifecast/108692361-0-1

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  25. Anon at 2:19PM: Looks like Julia/Megs has seeped into the comments section! Isn't it sad how no one doubts that it is Meghan or Julia that comes in and tries to defend their honor because everyone knows the Nonsociety girls are so utterly unlikable and detested by pretty much everyone who meets them?

    In any case: I don't think it is that Julia might not get into Harvard BS that makes everyone find it so hilarious; it is because she will 1. never apply and never take the GMAT/GRE for reasons of laziness, 2. she mentioned Harvard BS just to try to appear "smart" to people and make people (investors) think she has some sort of brain power that would make her a successful businesswoman. Even if she got into Harvard BS, that does not make one a successful businesswoman. That takes a combination of professional determination (not just in your "personal brand," that's for celebrities), ethics, intelligence and social tact that Julia just does not posses. She can make a whopping $60k (before business costs are deducted) that she has to split amongst 4 people, and this sham may survive another few months but the fact that one of her BFFs and initial partners has already jumped ship shows us that NS is failing, fast.

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  26. Sausage SnappersMay 16, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    OMG that Big Think video is HILARIOUS. "IN THE FUTURRRRRRE people may use... Facebook AND Twitter! OR MySpace AND Tumblr! Oh, the possibilities! Twitter is such an artform! What a challenge to write about myself in 140 characters! My brain feels fried trying to wrap itself around that one!"

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  27. http://gawker.com/5257381/the-voodoo-curse-of-julia-allisons-dog-on-tech-companies

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  28. Honestly, sometimes I feel bad for commenting here and judging a stranger...but then I watch something like that Big Think video and realize what an insipid, vapid person she is. Just TERRIBLE. And to act like an authority on life just makes it double bad. There was no art form for expression before Twitter? Just scrap-booking, diaries and (look of COMPLETE disdain) painting. Painting, BLECK. What were people even thinking back in the day, when all they had to do was sit around and create like...icky paintings and sculpltures and like, ew gross. I bet it would legitimately shock her to realize there are people who still aspire to be real artists and create REAL art, not just 140 characters of ~poetry~.

    I forget though, this is coming from a girl who went to an art museum and took only pictures of herself. I truly believe she thinks of herself as a work of art (and I can hear someone like her justifiying it like "why SHOULDN'T you think of yourself that way! it's ~strange~ that you don't!").

    She actually is the authority on something, now that I think about it. She is the Queen of the Nitwits, the current masses of people who think that their thoughts must be microblogged and are SUPER important and are making a difference. Don't get me wrong, I am a long time blogger, and I have a Twitter and a Facebook but I well aware of the inanity of it. Comparing Twitter to Hemingway? I DIE. I literally (no wait, figuratively) DIE.

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  29. @3:08

    Terrible article on Gawker.

    There's so much more evidence of her tinkering with her lunch.com comments and reviews in real time, requesting Karp tweak the algorithm for tumblarity because her tumblarity is not impressive, Randi Z. turning all her friend requests (some family friends and family) into FANS....

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  30. People! The real reason she never applied to HBS or Stanford is that she found out that she couldn't apply via Twitter. If not for that, she'd totes be rolling around naked in "fuck you money" right now!

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  31. Remember that time you promised yourself you'd stop schadenfreudening this woman because it was (1) getting old and (2) an unjustifiable waste of your time? And how (unlike her) you were interested in loftier interests and pursuits? Think back real hard.

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  32. I guess she thinks HBS diplomas are handed out as presents to all the bestest little girls in the world. Sad.

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  33. @anon 4:36

    How could it be Schadenfreude? She's happy, happy, happy!

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  34. Records CustodianMay 16, 2009 at 4:44 PM

    She sort of reminds me of Fozzie from the Muppets in that picture.

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  35. @anon 4:44

    My mistake. As you were.

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  36. http://bigthink.com/topics/digital-nomads/ideas/julia-allison-on-blogging-and-personal-branding

    "non-society is the new-media Oprah and friends."

    she is an idiot.

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  37. @4:36. No.

    n any case, being interested in loftier interests and pursuits than her means caring about more than cupcakes and tutus and strategic partnerships. So, mission accomplished.

    Hey wait! Do you remember that time that you were here too?

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  38. @4:55

    I wasn't talking to you. You are different. But me and these others, we're pathetic.

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  39. @4:53

    "Word count and all sorts of other terrible things"

    Yes, Julia, word count is a terrible thing. Actually, in your "profession," word count is essential.

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  40. @4:58. now I feel left out. I want to be pathetic too!!!

    sad :(

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  41. "I’ll be blogging from the grave"

    God, if you exist please don.t allow this! Thanks in advance.

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  42. Excuse me, but "Anyone know if there's a way for two people to access the same iCal in different locations? ie: my assistant to update my iCal remotely?" on her twitter.

    She has a fucking assistant? She can't afford her rent, but she has an assistant?

    What the hell?

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  43. She only twittered that to tell everyone she has an assistant. woop de woo

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  44. Julia responds like a complete tool to the CEO of Digg Twittering about his kid asking what a speculum is. He seems quite sane about it, she doesn't;

    jayadelson:
    Daughter is writing on ancient Greek medicine. She asked me what a vaginal speculum is for. No one warned me about this part of parenting.
    about 3 hours ago from Twitterrific

    juliaallison:
    @jayadelson - Jesus Christ, Jay! TMI!!!! (But ... ahhh ... errr ... what did you end up saying?)
    about 3 hours ago from web

    @jayadelson:
    ...I referred her to other ancient Greek tools, like bone drills...and of course, answered her question. :)
    about 2 hours ago from Twitterrific

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  45. He told her it was a primitive form of "salad tongs," Julia. Seriously. Shows how crazy the normal travails of parenting seem to JA. What a house she must have grown up in!

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  46. @4:36 yeah, I totally feel pathetic for reading this website. but I haven't yet found a way to stop, short of getting rid of wireless in my apartment.

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  47. yep. iCal can be a shared document. Why an apple fangirl or her very geeky tech partner cannot figure this out is beyond me.

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  48. bwahahahhahahaha!!

    Just googled TMI weekly to see if there was anything funny in the comments and this came up:

    http://www.tmi2day.com/

    Those girls. So Original. So easily damned.

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  49. If you base your shtick (and 'business') on being enviably fabulous, might it help to be...enviably fabulous?

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  50. Wow, A game content today:

    http://18.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLinkh0nnh3NF1HY0So1_500.jpg

    Forget Harvard. We have the next Annie Leibovitz here.

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  51. By the way, Julia Allison does not have an intern, never mind an assistant right now.

    -Someone Who Knows

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  52. It bothers me that she suggests creative people have never had a way to express their view before twitter, etc.

    Let's be real, truly creative people are able to find a way to express themselves, no matter what medium they choose. And the choice of medium is just as important as the message.

    I could go on but what's the point?

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  53. Maybe she thinks the dog is her assistant?

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  54. "Obviously I’m overly defensive." - Julia Allison, explained in less than three sentences.

    Find it funny too that she found herself overly defensive while defending her brother. Safe to say she wouldn't agree that she's that way when it comes to herself, nevermind that she's excusing the first thing she's done that actually would make sense. Also, can some please help me understand why an "innernet revolutionary" has to ask EVERYONE for help with information when google exists and she has a "tech whiz" (I laughed too) for a so-called BFF? Blech.

    7:38 - Wholeheartedly agree. She speaks about these things as if she knows, as if she's doing anything at all new. She is doing the same thing as others and just yelling about it a particularly annoying decibels.

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  55. She f-ing could only get into f-ing Indiana University w/ all of her parents degrees/connections/her list of high school activities which she constantly talks about. She must be a really bad student/test taker to have gotten in there and WENT and had to take time to work and transfer to f-ing Georgetown which is not too hard to do. It's a joke that she could get in anywhere. Omg GO AWAY JULIA! It's also hysterical that she puts so much emphasis on where her dates went to school (harvard - f-ing wow) then ppl wd sum you up as dumb as shit if she comes from ppl who went to great schools and ppl who could afford a good one and all her ass could go to was Indiana U!! Sad sad sad.

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  56. what a stupid fucking cow she is

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  57. Julia: please fall in love with Alex Vayner. You two were made for each other.

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  58. She has no idea how she'd pay for it? Same way she pays her rent. Calls Daddy crying. Who the fuck does she think she is fooling?

    We know you have a trust fun asswipe, and we know Daddy would be paying. And if not, you pay for it like the rest of us fucking did, and take loans out the asshole. I know, loans! What a concept. They involve signing your name to something you have responsibility for in the future, and not relying on your parents or grandma's dime. Whodathunkit?!

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