Friday, May 29, 2009

Julia: An OK Outfit



At reunion registration this morning.

Head to Toe (special Prep Edition):

- H&M white cardigan tied around neck
- H&M white button down blouse
- vintage A-line skirt, found at thrift shop on 2nd avenue
- Aldo heels
- Chanel purse
- pearl stud earrings


Here it is. Is it just me or does something look off about her mouth in this photo?

92 comments:

  1. You could drive a 3 ton truck between those knees.

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  2. Yes. It's CLOSED.

    How strange.

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  3. Also, with Johnny. I hate her Wide Set Vagina Pose.

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  4. White patent Aldo shoes are never ok.

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  5. Do you think she got that chanel bag on her "vacation"? She mentions taking it on her date as well, and I just don't remember seeing it before.

    I also don't understand how standing with your legs so far apart makes you look skinnier? doesn't it just make your hips look wider and like you're straddling a puddle?

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  6. good god. PANTS, JANKLES. I have hideous legs as well. That's why I don't wear skirts.

    We know you read this all day, so listen:
    PANTS
    PANTS
    PANTS

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  7. Jules, dear Jules..

    Darth Beowulf here..so sorry that your parents did not buy the special feet gear when you were little to fix the pigeon toe walking stuff..but..

    Give up on wearign heels..its not a good look..

    all kidding aside she has a foot toe problem and should stop wearing heels until hse fixes it..

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  8. Julia, you look great in skirts. Don't listen to them!

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  9. I used to walk through those doors on the way to Poli Sci class. BWAGGH get away from it!

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  10. Guess she's saving the little-girl blue-and-white Georgetown slutty spirit rally outfit for cocktail hour.
    In the meantime, she looks like a Romanian visa holder enrolled in the mature-student credit equivalency program, circa 1973.

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  11. Ugh, I'm not a fan of that skirt. My fashion challenged 50+ year old aunt has an identical one. The length also emphasizes the bulk of Julia's thighs.

    Her hair also looks like crap here. Apparently her trip to the fat farm did little to restore her locks' luster.

    I love how Julia is posing, displaying the Chanel label on her handbag. What a freaking label whore!

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  12. I meant to say calves, not thighs. My mistake.

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  13. Well, props on wearing a skirt that covers her vag. But the blouse is wayyy to tight. It's not a swimsuit sweetcheeks, you should be able to breathe and we should not be able to see the outline of your water bra. And if you insist on wearing shoes from the Aldo sale rack I'm going to have to ask that you crop the pictures off above your canckles. Baby steps, though!

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  14. JAsHOclub.com! Yah

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  15. Blair Waldorf Tourism, Inc.May 29, 2009 at 2:37 PM

    Julia will never be able to be a part of the world of Chanel Handbags and Harvard Boys in the way she envisions because it is so obviously a novelty to her. Look at me! Harvard Dates! Aren't I special and desirable!?

    The people you are trying to emulate, Jules, don't consider it anything special to have a Chanel bag or a degree from an Ivy. It is par for the course. Your behavior makes it all the more apparent you are nothing more than a tourist in this "exclusive" world that you worship. This is why only fellow pretenders can stomach you.

    Would someone who is legitimately wealthy and deserving of respect, like say Julie Macklowe who you fawned over, wave her little white Chanel bag around and shout "Look at what I have!". Hardly. Your label-whoredom is the epitome of tacky and despite what you think does not help you "fit in" to the crowd you hope to join, it in fact sets you apart as the fraud you are.

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  16. That video of Foreman and lily on i like julia is really gay.

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  17. i think the g'town reunion is probably going to be a pretty embarrassing affair for LIU Jill. my guess is she's going to be doing a lot of lying (excuse me, "massaging the truth") to make herself look better. otherwise:

    g'town grad: "hey, so what are you up to these days?"

    LIU Jill: "i have a pink blog where i post pictures of myself in various poses. i also have 2 twitter accounts, a facebook page and a vimeo account."

    g'town grad: "no, i mean where do you work?"

    LIU Jill: "what? did i mention i also have an internet show i put on with two of my friends. it's only about 3 minutes long and the content and production values are garbage, but it's exhausting!"

    g'town grad: "um, i'm going to get another drink..."

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  18. Imaginary pre-frosh, the morning after getting her lady parts vibrated on an imaginary Harley piloted by her imaginary boyfriend.

    I hope they paint the urinals pink in her honor.

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  19. is anyone from RBNS going to be there? do we have "insiders"? I'm sure it will be a sad 'cite' to see.

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  20. At least she's got the skirt's length right this time.

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  21. Julia: "I didn't miss the internet at all when I was on my one day vacation."

    And yet there you are.

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  22. I know someone who is there and willing to give some reports. I will pass along any info to the RBNS/JACY address.

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  23. That store, Wisemiller's? She got kicked out of there for shoplifting candy bars and shoving them in her doggie satchel. Good times!

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  24. She admitted on her blog yesterday that she stole her Georgetown cheerleading uniform instead of giving it back. What a lovely gal. I sort of want her to get married to her fictitious dolphin boyfriend. I would like to see this wedding play out over the web. And then the nasty divorce. Julia doesn't want to live in the ocean - he does - couldn't work it out. He wants some of the things they accrued in their year long marriage. She screams, "why would you want my pick canopy?" You are going to be living underwater, you little cunt."

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  25. What's this all about??

    http://www.zmogo.com/web/internet-famous-the-julia-allison-story/

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  26. She was a cheerleader at Georgetown?

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  27. "Well, I got shitcanned by Star magazine and lost my gig with Time Out, and the reality show went like nowhere, and I dress up like a little girl and get these dates for money sometimes, but I have a new boyfriend and he's everything I could ever want, because he's a figment of my imagination! So he's exactly right for me, isn't that great? Like my purse? It's real Chanel. You know, the real ones never look real. My new boyfriend gave it to me."

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  28. Maybe that hideous navy pleated mini-skirt she claims is tennis skirt is actually her old Georgetown cheerleading skirt. Taken out a few inches.

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  29. Who keeps pimping out that zmogo article?

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  30. My tube socks are real Tarjay

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  31. She Twittered that stupid piece, all proud about it. It's like a seven-year-old wrote it. Anyone with some humility would be embarrassed by it, not proud of it.

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  32. Will there be date 3.5? Does anyone know how she got that decimal in there? That, too, is kind of shady.

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  33. narcissist headbandMay 29, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    i think over her staycation she had those harsh-o-rific hair extensions removed. hence the ratty, damaged hair in the above pic. still, i'll take ratty and damaged over scary fake pelts any day.

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  34. 4:07 Didn't she also devote two entire blog posts to quoting herself from that piece too?

    I think Julia is in love. With herself.

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  35. It's .5 of a date when the dude:

    > Is too drunk to fuck
    > Comes too soon
    > Can't come

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  36. Ha! WTF? So now there is such a thing as half a date? Who says? Julia says. In most of our worlds, a date is a date, yes?

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  37. "Hey former classmates, I'm a complete and utter miserable failure at life, but look at my Chanel bag! And my boyfriend went to Harvard! Can I still play with y'all??"

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  38. The faux hair is gone. Her make up is toned down. Save for the whorendous white shoes, I think the outfit is way better than her usual. The skirt is retro (she probs got that out of mom's closet on her trip HOME/VACATION). It covers her vag.

    The crazy LOOK AT MY CHANEL BAG is ridonkulous. It's probably moms or grams.

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  39. Am I the only one who doesn't think those shoes are so bad? Then again, I only wish I could afford to buy shoes at Aldo, so what the hell do I know.

    That shirt, on the other hand, is utterly trashtastic. Lovely giant bra-cup outlines.

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  40. ok, i'm not pimping out that article, but i went and looked at it and i think that video with the wired dude is kind of telling. not that it's all stuff we didn't know, but when asked what product she wants to endorse, she says, "personal growth"? it's pretty hilarious. also admitting that her mom stopped talking to her because of comments she saw online? and that her mom reads all the comments about her?

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  41. also, 3:14, LMAO. really.

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  42. 4;42

    I have an irrational fear/aversion to white shoe. Maybe they aren't too bad. BTW, don't waste your time with Aldo shoes. I have no clue as to why Julia does. The price point is way to high for the quality. I'd seriously recommend Steve Madden before Aldo.

    ((Sorry, totally off topic, but shoe are fun!))

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  43. Julia Allison has been nominated for the Queen of the Webutante Ball

    http://thewebutanteball.com/

    Goddamnit, those Tumblr obsessed folks headed by dorkus Nick McGlynn, are pathetic. They are also stuck in HS.

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  44. i don't get it. why would her mom stop talking to her because of comments OTHER PEOPLE wrote??

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  45. Nick McGlynn is a complete loser. Like his buddy BrianVan and the other tumblr tards, they have no jobs, no lives, and blog all day about incessant bullshit.

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  46. What's with Peter Feld? He's a total tard too. We need a web 2.0 tard blog.

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  47. I have to admit, I voted for MARY RAMBIN! I couldn't help myself. It was to spite Julia.

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  48. @5:05 ... because they revealed that she'd told a lot of lies about her family.

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  49. @5:27... really? lies about what?

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  50. Also, her mother has never, ever been proud of Julia's public (and now personal) persona. It embarrasses her.

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  51. the lilly video with charles forman: zoom in, zoom out, zoom in, zoom out... advanced cinematography techniques brought to you by celebrichaun allison.

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  52. and the zmogo "article": not something to be proud of, hon.

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  53. She really is deranged when it comes to reading her own press. She doesn't get sarcasm, irony, or any other not-so-subtle literary devise.

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  54. And the beat goes on:

    "Okay ... I'm just going to wear the Preppiest Outfit I have in my suitcase, so you can suck it, "Dressy Casual.""

    Who does she think cares about her childish whims and revolts? It's like all of her tweets are addressed to mommy and daddy from her 12yo self.

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  55. It's just rude! She's at a function for a school where she was a KNOWN THIEF (yes, I said it-thief) and she has the gall to go to the reunion and now she's going to BUCK THE SYSTEM like a child having a tantrum. Get some class, jackles.

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  56. Julia,

    I have to tell you this as someone who marginally cares: This outfit is not working.

    I see what you are going for - you're trying to do the "high-low" thing. But, high-low takes more than, say, pairing your Hanes tank with a Marni skirt and a fabulous vintage bag and jewelry. It takes a couple of more things, too.

    First of all, fit. As all of the fashion magazines and shows like "What Not to Wear" say again and again, fit is everything. The blouse just doesn't fit you correctly. It is tight, but not in a sexy Sophia Loren kind of way. It's tight in a "I haven't updated my closet in a while" kind of way. On a good note, the skirt length is flattering. Good work with that!

    Second, fabric. Listen, I love H&M like any other girl. But, as all experienced H&M shoppers know, some of the fabric there is just plain ick. The knits are notoriously nappy, and most of the simpler blouses (such as the one you are wearing) tend to the transparent and chintzy side. Generally, when buying "low", stick to cottons or other non-synthetics, unless it is something fun and bold, when it doesn't matter as much if the quality is decent. Things like classic white blouses need to be a little more expensive to look chic.

    Third, it's all about the shoes and the bag. I for one am wearing $30 Isaac Mizhrahi for Target black suede knee-high boots from two years ago today but I'll tell you: They look fantastic. White patent risks looking cheap even on a pair of Choos, so you have to be extra careful when you go there. And the bag. Yes, Chanel is glam and expensive and in many cases covetable. But that one? Is a little old for you and a little "grandma" in the shape. And the white shoes plus the white bag is very Eastern bloc. I'm just being honest with you.

    Finally, and perhaps most important, is having that "je ne sais quoi" to pull it all off. Not everyone can do the "cool New York girl" thing. In fact, many of NYC's most stylish girls don't even try - think Tinsley or Aerin. It's really best to know thyself and stick with what works for you, even if that means going with a pre-styled, "ready to go" outfit. For Tinsley and Aerin, that might means head-to-toe Michael Kors or Derek Lam, but for you, at your price point, there are plenty of options as well. Polished done well looks much more expensive and flattering than quirky done badly.

    My advice to you? Call Mary before you go out looking like this again. Say what you want about her, but she actually is a decent stylist. I know that it's very important for you to look good and feel good at your college reunion, so please take this fashion tough love in the spirit it was intended.

    xoxo
    Fashion Girl

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  57. notice that there have been no up-close facial pictures of jowlia since her return from vacation. but even in the g'town pic, you could tell her face and hair were beyond wonky. "Yes, there is rhyme to her reason and methods for her madness."

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  58. Her preppiest outfit isn't a suck it to anything, she's obsessed with the idea of the "prep crowd" (see: harvard, lilly pulitzer, mommy & daddy's condo, freshwater pearls, chanel, everything related to granny baugher). Tacky tacky. Watch the outfit end up being the exact definition of dressy casual anyway, she just wanted to shout out "I'M A PREP" less obviously. You aren't Foolia.

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  59. Fashion Girl-

    Brilliant Analysis! Invest in the classics, Julia. Remember when Mary spent an arm and a leg getting a custom fit white tailored shirt? It was worth it! If she stopped spending so much money of 10,000 cheap items from 5-7-9 and Cache, she could afford to invest in the classics once and a while.

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  60. TJ:

    If that's true, she was prolly "thinking" (in the restricted JA sense of the word), `hey, I'm just like Winona. Look-a me. I'm as pretty as Winona.'

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  61. Decimal Dating, the new RBNS username! Along, of course, with "Sacred Scrapbooks."

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  62. Her hair does look pelt-less and terribly damaged. It is still a huge improvement over the Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz look she has been rocking for the past year. That cowboy stance is horribly unattractive, makes me thinks she wears depends.

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  63. haha Just saw the Charles Forman/Lilly video! Oh my God that is hysterical! Not because staring at Lilly for 5,000 minutes is funny, but because of Foreman's expression. It's just like "Bitch, get this camera out of my face so I can REALLY sleep!"

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  64. I find it so strange that she hasn't posted a photo of herself on the date's Harley. Without photographic evidence how will we ever know if it really happened?
    Have a great day! XO

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  65. Seems she would post a picture, this week especially, in hopes of impressing the fellow alum's when they check out her liecasting blog.

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  66. How many people attend 5-year college reunions? The school I attended doesn't have them. I have a hard time visioning her shopping at a thrift store.

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  67. http://2.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLio310tqxyrQSsZYNo1_500.jpg

    her eyes look .. strange.
    is that the easter skirt?! I hope so.

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  68. Matchy Matchy! How staid and dated she looks! She's wearing a doily ensemble. ewwwww...

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  69. I hope she has Dyed to Match pumps in the aqua color.

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  70. "Verging on giddy - a combination of last night's date, the anticipation of seeing my girls from college & being back on campus. Aww :)"

    Fart
    Vomit
    Poop
    Shit

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  71. Sacred ScrapbooksMay 29, 2009 at 7:19 PM

    That fetishwear ensemble is her idea of the Preppiest Outfit? (as capitalized by Julia). She looks like a freakin' middle-aged nutjob heading out to a spanking party. Yikes.

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  72. @Total Jing

    It's mindblowing how out of touch she is, isn't it? The wide aqua belt and unflattering cap sleeves, oy.

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  73. Grandma? Is that you?

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  74. No one looks good in cap sleeves. No won! The blazer looks like a cheap target jacket, the skirt is from that sample sale she went to, and she looks like she's in a freaking costume.

    The outfit is incredibly juvenile and embarrassing. I can't imagine what any of her classmates will have to say to her--many of them have careers, and spouses, and maybe even children and she's got a TOTAL FAIL embarrassing website that makes her look like she's "special" and in need of supportive housing.

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  75. Silly Total Jing, she HAS supportive housing. It's Grandma Baugher supported.

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  76. @one. I have a meghan homophone moment.

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  77. Sacred ScrapbooksMay 29, 2009 at 7:29 PM

    Ah, ah...now I get it. Preppiest = what kids wear on Gossip Girl. Julia must be one of the few 28 year olds not in captivity who need to dress up like teens on a TV drama. Then again, after the lip-dub for daddy, nothing is too crazy for our un-medicated little celebrity.

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  78. I find it sad that she has no one to share this reunion with, did she not have any friends in college, everyone despised her?

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  79. So, what would u wear?

    I would wear either a cotton or linen skirt and a cute top, or a linen sheath

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  80. @7:32: Sad & strange.

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  81. Who is taking the photos? Mom? Dad? Random strangers?

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  82. Creepy eye.
    Jacket is too small.

    http://14.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLio32huk3iARnFptPo1_400.jpg

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  83. Oh dear God no, not the Easter skirt. No!! She'd have been better to pair that top with the vintage skirt also known as raiding Mom's closet while I spent my "vacation" with the rents as they handed me my ass and then I came home and did everything they told me to stop doing because fucking NOBODY puts baby in the corner!!!

    Sorry ... my goodness ... what just happened to me ....

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  84. I vote that Fashion Girl be invited to be a RBNS contributor critiquing JA's various wrong-headed get-ups on a regular basis. I find it so strange and worrisome that JA puts a such a lot of thought and effort into coming up with her hideous ensembles and proudly posting self-congratulatory captions with pictures of herself in them. Fashion Girl's advice was completely right-on, yet somehow kind and constructive at the same time. (I think this was sort of supposed to be Mary's role on NS, but since she apparently actually does dislike JA and is a horrible writer, it didn't really take off.)

    P.S.: I see that JA chose that disgusting mint-green dirndl thingie from her Easter-hooker outfit to make a great first impression at the Big Reunion.

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  85. Fashion Girl:

    Don't think Hoolia will take your thoughtful advice but I sure will.
    Thanks!

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  86. Now she's FASHION EXPERT JULIA!

    She's like 50 personalities in one!

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  87. I really don't understand how she can be soo out of touch fashion wise. I mean she has lived in NYC for 4 years. Has she ever seen any othe person dress the way she does? Ya know, not everyone has the style gene, I don't mind that her outfits aren't fabulous I just mind that they are consistently terrible. Throw on some jeans and a tshirt and it'd be such an impovement. How can she not realize how silly and embarrasing she looks every single day. I get that she's trying to stand out and look special but honey, you're doing it wrong!!!

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  88. My husband just came up behind me as I clicked on that tumblr link and said "nice 50s housewife. Is she going to bake some brownies in her prettiest dress?" And then I laughed. Mainly at Julia baking brownies.

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  89. Aw shucks, Anon 7:54 and Miss Cast. My pleasure. It is Fashion Girl's mission to help eliminate just a little bit of The Tacky and The Misguided in the world, starting with our own Miss Baugher.

    xoxo,
    Fashion Girl

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  90. Maybe I'll show up tomorrow on campus.

    Julia wasn't a cheerleader. She was on the dance team (who when they were more of a kickline had cheerleader like outfits). Before the team imploded about a year ago it was filled with overweight, over made up, ugly white chicks with no rhythm. So, yeah.

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  91. Good FUCKING Lord. @7:32 OK what I wore to my high school fundraiser when I was 28( 1998) : pretty blue button down shirt, the color of my eyes. underneath> black tank, black mini. Bare legs? ( can't' remember) Black shoes. Had only lived in NYC for a year but has already gotten the memo about black as default position when broke or fat ( given that I was sexy and single and grown up. ) Picked up a hot 21 year old, enjoyed the free drinks, then we went to Show Word and interviewed the strippers. I mean at least I was living Sex in the City back then, not faking it. The more I see how she behaves the more I feel like she's been molested.

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  92. @ make it stop

    my school has 5 yr reunions. but then again, we also have a pi reunion (3.14 yrs after the fact)...

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