Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Mary: Passive Aggressively Putting Julia In Bad Outfits, Posting Bad Photos

Oh dear.


Check out Jules rockin’ the fronteir (sic) trend. I picked out this skirt from the MINT Jodi Arnold collection and knew she would love it once she put it on. The necklace is hers so it seems we might see Julia adopting new trends this summer. Too cute!

And oh no.



And oh my goodness.

75 comments:

  1. 'I told Jules she looked better with that fake hair, lol too cute! If by cute you mean did a fraggle die on your head. VERY NICE!'

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  2. also - anyone else notice she's posing thin so hard she's basically sideways? Give it up. We know you gained weight!

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  3. There goes Meghan with the pointing.

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  4. God DAMN that skirt makes her look fat. Nice work, Rambo.

    The second outfit makes her look like a Mid-Western office manager who is sleeping with the boss in a desperate attempt to move up the corporate ladder.

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  5. Julia looks like a suburban mom meeting up at the Motel 6 for an affair with her dermatologist.

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  6. @6:37

    LOLZ on the mid western office manager sleeping her way to the top!

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  7. ugh i hate anal bead necklaces.

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  8. You guys are nuts. This is a cute look.

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  9. I think the first top and skirt are ugly and don't belong together. The second outfit is blah. I don't think she looks fat in the first ensemble but she is doing an amazing pilatesesque waist contortion, so who knows?

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  10. Oh my God, both the suburban mom comment and the western office manager comment might have to be spun out into a contest of some sort.

    Sausage Snappers: Someone really needs to take Meghan aside and tell her to stop with that shit. She's like a character in an SNL skit. Is that her intention?

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  11. Meghan "scary points" and makes a Jack-O-Lantern smile. She's freaky, that Meghan.

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  12. Haha Mary: "so it seems we might see Julia adopting new trends this summer". Very nice!!!

    Second pic JA looks like a Midwestern newsreader circa 1984 who refuses to cut her hair because she thinks it gives her "pizazz" and "flair".

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  13. I told you hags awhile back that My! Darling! Julia! Allison! bore a strong resemblance to that amazing and kind hearted woman Lucille Bluth. But you mean ladies and gentlemen were pretty nasty about that one.

    Well! That alcoholic bitch Mary Rambin has finally gone and done something right! She has captured the true frozen Lucille essence of my beautiful darling in that first shot. Here Julia, My Queene, looks like a young Lucille. The heart races, the mind reels, the penis inflates.

    Sigh. Back to my Starbucks bathroom. (Here's a secret for you: Starbuck's toilets are much cleaner than McDonald's -- don't tell anyone!).

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  14. well Meghanaise was once told that NS should be a comedy skit..

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  15. This look is totally cute - if you're secretary Mary Crosby in that episode of Dallas where she tries to convince JR she'd be a better wife than Sue Ellen. Oh, and it's 1981.

    I have no life.

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  16. Why didn't post the one where Julia is making a raisin face while Meghan looks zoned out in the back?

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  17. Fig: Done! Sorry, missed that one somehow.

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  18. Julia looks like she's trying to sniff her own cooch or something.

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  19. Fuck, you people are killing me today ^^. Jing, Julia has never smelled a cooch before, let alone her own, god forbid. But it's true. That raisin face has something rank going on.

    I listened to the Opie interview on Gawker today and she claims she learned everything about sex from books (some from Urban Outfitters!!!!), so, um, ha? And so obvi it is clear -- even on the radio -- that she doesn't fuck. So yeah, no cooch smelling going on there.

    I mean, ew, right?

    Sad.

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  20. Meghan has apparently modeled her personality after those nodding-head dog thingys that people used to put over the back seat of their cars.

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  21. Meghan, unless you are on a tijuana sidewalk waving boxes of gum saying 'chicle senorita?' rethink that top.

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  22. Looks like someone needs some traffic over at morethan....

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  23. SomeProblems you forgot the :( in Sad.

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  24. Compare the middle picture of JA with the one in the post below. That's not even what, five years ago? She looks like she has aged 25 years in five. She could be pushing 50 in that third shot. In the picture below, even with all the stupid makeup, she looks 16.

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  25. breaking news! jackles promises content in june!

    chasingalyx: @juliaallison is having an intern take pix of you and your puppy actually content? where are the long diatribes of old?!?!

    juliaallison: @chasingalyx - I know, I'm sorry! :( I don't have time for those anymore ... hopefully when things calm down (ha) - maybe in June??

    chasingalyx: @juliaallison I read somewhere that people blog less when they're HAPPY..maybe you're just really HAPPY & BLESSED right now??


    chasingalyx for the win. I bet she has a poor-me DM coming her way. Sad. :(

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  26. that JA joker smile..OMG

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  27. Someone mentioned Opie. Have you guys seen this video (just put up recently, but clearly from years back) of Opie and Andie mercilessly ridiculing her with fake callers?

    http://tr.youtube.com/watch?v=giMKt23VIEQ

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  28. "When things calm down."

    What the fuck? She doesn't DO anything! Dinners with David Karp, tea with creeps at midnight on Sunday night, Twittering/Googling herself endlessly ... what needs to calm down?

    She is the biggest lying headcase ever.

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  29. Oh boyohboy I can't wait for the video breakdown coming soon! YOu know it's on the way. Julia uses vimeo like it's fucking emotional LifeAlert.

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  30. Records CustodianMay 5, 2009 at 7:42 PM

    PP, you are sort of on fire today.

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  31. It's because i am SO.HAPPY.HEINEKENS.

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  32. pp, should we expect an emotional breakdown later in the evening? you should put in your extensions now.

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  33. Julia is a dead ringer for Annette Funicello.

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  34. Excuse me, but I called Funicello a week ago! Completely!

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  35. Haha - the site is down again.

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  36. Something about that skirt...after Julia's "green stubble" description of her pubes...

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  37. Doesn't it feel great knowing that Julia has a permanent Brazilian? Not TMI at all!
    Thanks lunch.com!!

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  38. Sweet mother of pearl have they changed the set AGAIN? If ever there's a sign of being a rank amateur act is that they've been doing this gig for god knows how long and still haven't found a workable set.

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  39. Anon @ 8:07, I believe that should be "Sweet mother of freshwater pearl..."

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  40. OMG, I'm wetting myself @ these comments, esp. "Midwestern office manager", especially because it's so accurate!

    I have to admit that I sort of like the first look, minus the horrific anal beads.

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  41. @8:25
    I love talking clothes. It's a guilty pleasure. Anyway, the first outfit could be saved if ruffle shirt was sans ruffle (plain white T) and anal beads were taken off.

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  42. wow her faces looks REALLY chubby in that middle shot.

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  43. @8:40

    Julia obvs tells Dr. Bobby Buka that her beauty icon is Eric Stolz ala Mask and to reshape her face accordingly.

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  44. anal bead necklace, so appropriate for the woman who wears her ass on her shoulders

    zing! RG do a shot!

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  45. OMfg tj I love eric stoltz. If she could turn into him circa 'some kind of wonderful' I would raisinface all over her smells. Love him!

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  46. Meghan:

    http://twitter.com/meghanasha/statuses/1711683871

    ...then why did you decide to go into a business as a LIFECASTER?

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  47. PP:

    Have you seen Naked in New York? There's a Stolz peen shot in that film. Highly recommended.

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  48. @9:04
    That's why she writes about lightbulbs.

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  49. OMG TJ peen is icky! It looks like an angry turtle ewwwww.

    Now me, I like to sit around twirling my hair sitting on my Babysitters Club sleeping bag eating swedish fish and comparing eric to johnny depp - who would you ask to 8th grade formal???

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  50. Jules if makes you happy, why you so damn sad??

    To question Jules will never ask yet its answer could set her free..

    A Shakespearian play if I ever saw one

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  51. Stupid bored - I just checked out NS again and I don't seem to recall them ever 'pointing' this much. Point at the laptop, at each other, at their clothes etc. Point, point, point. Are they getting direction? Some management consultant told them this would be a good idea? This came up at some 'business development' meeting? It was probably Meghan's idea. This one has 'Silicon Valley' all over it.

    I still think David Karp is a vampire. And partypants watches too much 80's TV. Pretty fucking funny though.

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  52. Oh God, Fig, thank you for the youtube link. That needs its own post. Funny she never talks about being on the O&A show!

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  53. Just scrolled through Julia's banalcast right now.

    I am so fucking sick of that one side of her face. She is awful.

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  54. The skirt would be OK with a different top but she cannot get away with that length anymore. Just below the knees, Jankles! You cannot pull off a mini-skirt, particularly that style of mini. No no no. Remember Easter! Possibly the biggest Fashion Don't ever!

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  55. wow! she has sucking in skills that are almost superhuman [aside: IS she human?]

    Also, Megs face in that last pic pretty much sums it all up.....

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  56. A waitress at my local Mexican joint wears the same outfit, but with a different color blouse every other day. Happy Cinco de Mayo Jackles!

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  57. OK has anyone checked out a few of the other photos JA posted? Her face was definitely Photoshopped to look longer. Or maybe that's just me being weird?

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  58. I'm looking forward to the episode where they share tips on making oneself gag over the bowl and then give each other colonics.

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  59. Records CustodianMay 6, 2009 at 2:01 AM

    This is a week or so old, but still so underminery.

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/100377110-0-1-nomsociety-1

    "Former Gawker intern Charleton Lamb, who played Meghan in the NonSociety parody video NomSociety, and recognized me at The Owl. He’s hysterical."The guy in the picture? Charleton Lamb? He played Mary, not Meghan. James Del played Meghan.

    Pretty difficult to confuse the two guys.

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  60. This little Ja gem:



    We’re all set prepping for tomorrow’s very ambitious TMI Weekly shoot. One topic that I’ve been unable to get any decent advice on is “How To Spot A Player?”

    I’d love to know what the signs are and how can you tell if he or she is a full blown PLAYER?


    ah Jules dearie..your black kettle is hsowing..

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  61. It's so infuriating that their TMI topics are so banal and insipid. It's like they could not be trying harder to come up with the worst topics possible.
    - boxers vs. briefs
    - laser hair removal
    - players
    - horoscopes

    I read about these in my YM magazine... thirteen years ago. Julia's interests are stuck in high school, just like her maturity level. She is in mental arrested development.

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  62. well duh it's not player it's playa

    if ur going to use busted old slang at least spell it right

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  63. Meghan Asha:
    "I'm getting crap from my BFF about not twittering- BLERG! I really have an issue with privacy on the Internet!
    about 12 hours ago from web"

    Clearly, Meghan has serious issues/doubts about "putting all out there" a la Julia Allison. Now taking wagers on when she quits for good.

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  64. Julia Allison, to white to be fly and to sad to satisfy

    Hey that rhymes

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  65. That last picture of Julia looks like she's sneaking out a particularly bad fart.

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  66. mary has fabulous legs

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  67. Mean Girl,

    What I don't get is who they are actually aiming at as their target audience (if they ever thought about this, that is).

    Some of the topics are perfect for high schoolers and have been featuring in teen magazines for decades, so they still seem to work. If they wanted to position themselves as those high schoolers' cool twenty-something friends, ok, why not? But then stop giving young girls ideas about how the only solution to (perceived) body problems lies either in the injection of toxic substances or other cosmetic procedures they can't afford. Those topics or the wine episode seem more suitable for the neurotic young adult demographic and traditionally these crowds don't mix.

    You know what, I don't know and I don't care enough to try and make sense of their nonsense. TMI to the world is what Rufus Humphrey is to Gossip Girl: useless and annoying.

    I really hope both go to hell soon.

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  68. ironic slanket - that is one of TMI's biggest problems (among many) - they have NO IDEA who their target audience is. With topics like Cinco de Mayo cocktails and wine, you would think it would be their own age group. But then the very next episode will be about boxers or something equally tween targeted. They really need to put this show out of its misery... between the horrible topics, bad execution and absolutely terrible on screen presence of 2/3 of the "talent," it's godawful. No wonder they never got their Bravo show - they really are terrible on camera - even for three minutes. Could you imagine an entire 30 minutes or an hour devoted to them. Yuck.

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  69. I usually don't even make it through more than 30 seconds, so, hell no!

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  70. Well i like the skirt that mary picked out for her and I thought mary's drink show was fabulous. She really does come across as someone who know's what she's talking about. It's no wonder that Kodak sponsors her.

    More than mary is on fire too, she is all over the place with content! (Guilty) I love mary.

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  71. That first pic: Julia managed to suck in and contort herself into looking pretty slim through the waist but doing that makes her thick legs look WAY thick in comparison. She really needs a below-the-knee skirt for camoflage.
    Not to mention the age-appropriate issue.

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  72. TMIWeakly's Sort of FanMay 6, 2009 at 1:08 PM

    Mean Girl

    I hate to admit it but I enjoy some of the episodes. But ONLY because of the trainwreck aspect of the show.

    I love watching Julia's strange behavior, especially the whiplash-inducing, nonstop head nodding, lip pursing, manic blinking, and what looks like nearly compuslvie "yeah"ing while anyone else is talking. I like observing Meghan's odd face/body contortions and I love seeing Mary calling out Julia on her lies.

    One of my favorite TMI moments, paraphrased:
    JA: This lip gloss makes people think I've had my lips done so I love it for that alone.
    MR: But Julia you did have your lips done.
    JA: No!
    MR: Dr. Bobby shot restyline into your lips Julia.
    JA:[looks to camera] Uh, can we not show this part?

    TMI Weakly is great for the armchair psychologists among us and for anyone who enjoys a good trainwreck from time to time. Whether I'd make it through a 30 minute version I can't say but the occasional 3-5 minute episode provides more than enough unintentionally hilarious moments to make it worth watching from time to time.

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  73. Does anybody know if she has a ticket for the actual dinner? or is she just attending the receptions before and after?

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