Saturday, May 23, 2009

Brother Britt: My Poor, Poor Sister.

106 comments:

  1. jesus julia, just buy some sunscreen, eat some vegetables, and have a glass of wine. you're 28. calm the fuck down.

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  2. This is devastating -- looking at her eyebrows and saying "well that's just unacceptable."

    I wonder how her heroes Gloria Steinem, Bonnie Fuller and Madeline Albright feel able having "expiration dates." Christ.

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  3. I wouldn't go to the premier of that either.

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  4. Someone should get a screen shot of her when she's all concerned about her eyelids drooping...she's ugly. I mean, her insides are showing...just gross.

    And that nose looks so fake. It's too high up above her top lip...clear sign. She is totally going to be one of those 'beauty junkies'. Puffed lips, cat eyes...UGH. SO. SAD.

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  5. The poor Harvard guy. Good fucking luck.

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  6. Where was it where she said she had never had plastic surgery? Or that she only uses Restylane to treat acne?

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  7. Man she looks crazy in that clip. Fake nose, fake chin, fake boobs, fake teeth, Botox...3:06 you called it right on the money.

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  8. JBP: She said it in an e-mail response to someone. RBNS blogged it at some point. Try searching this blog with the word "restylyane" or "injections."

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  9. Here it is ... read the comments, someone cuts and pastes the exchange there.

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  10. Christ blogger sucks ... cannot cut and paste it the link ... anyway, you will find it when you search on restylane

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  11. Nothing says "potential mate" like a 28 year old plastic surgery addict who brays like a donkey, likes to wear tutus, and compares herself to Hunter Thompson. Yum yum yum.

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  12. And Tweets about his alma mater and how he's her new boyfriend after what, two or three dates?

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  13. So much to look forward to! Bills from Dr. Bobby and temper tantrums if she can't take your credit card to Bergdorf's! But also new kinds of sex, Google sex! Staying up all night to Google herself while you sleep! What a lucky man!

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  14. Are you kidding me? That describes half the women in NYC!

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  15. The post:

    "Reader Email: "STEP AWAY FROM THE NEEDLE!!!"

    From: [redacted]
    Date: February 6, 2009 5:24:00 PM EST
    To: Julia Allison julia@nonsociety.com
    Subject: Re: OH GOD!

    Oh god, Julia, PLEASE tell me you’re not getting more of that SHIT injected into your cheeks and forehead!

    Those lines (if they even exist, they’re probably only in your head) are NATURAL and your face doesn’t look good without them!

    STEP AWAY FROM THE NEEDLE!!! And Dr. Bobby. Please, for the love of god, you’re only 27! Give your face a break!

    From: Julia Allison
    Date: February 6, 2009 6:29:00 PM EST
    To: [redacted]
    Subject: Re: OH GOD!

    I’ve never had anything injected into my forehead or cheeks. Why would you think that?? I have bad acne.

    Sent from my iPhone

    Let me add: My acne tends to really flare up when I’ve had lack of sleep, stress and lack of healthy food and exercise (like during Munich/Davos), so I feel as if my current regime - at least 7 hours each night, trying to calm down a bit, and eating healthy with exercise - should help out. Nonetheless, Dr. Bobby had some topical treatments, as I refuse to use any hormonal medicines, including antibiotics and birth control. I don’t take ANY medicine at all except Advil on occasion (oh, and Midol, on even rarer occasion).

    Plus - if you must know - I was also getting some suspicious moles checked out, although he deemed them “normal.” Eh. I had a dream that one of them was cancerous the other night, so … I just thought, better safe than skin cancer.

    THAT SAID, I have no problem with cosmetic procedures and fully intend to use botox when the time comes."

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  16. http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Russian-group-mulls-Facebook-rb-15334599.html?.v=1

    Randi better change her phone number.

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  17. My email with her on the subject of injections:

    Hi Julia,
    You should keep an eye on what's posted on the site.
    I think you aren't a stranger to needles, which is fine.
    Just keep the story straight and then people would admire you more I think.

    HER RESPONSE:

    Julia Allison < -- >
    to --

    dateSat, Feb 7, 2009 at 8:39 PM
    subjectRe: needles

    Thanks -- !

    Well, I'm VERY careful about what I say - but I do tend to use legalese. In other words, when I said I had "never" had anything injected in my forehead and cheeks, and I have never had botox, that was accurate. I have had restalyne injected in my nasiolabio folds twice (that's the laugh line), which is not, technically, my forehead or cheeks. But I should be more honest, you're right.

    I'll write a post about it.

    :)
    j

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  18. That's a pretty reasonable response, no?

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  19. Yeah, if you believe she only gets her NASOLABIAL folds (that's the laugh line) done, which I don't.

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  20. FormerGawkerEmployeeMay 23, 2009 at 5:13 PM

    What's reasonable about it? She's basically admitting she's a liar. And I would classify "nasolabial folds" as your cheeks, and so would a court of law, therefore so much for her "legalese."

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  21. @5:03 "That's a pretty reasonable response, no?"

    Not quite sure what you mean. Do you mean coping to a lie, or admitting to being a manipulative twat?

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  22. I'm not sure I'd call it "reasonable", particularly since she does this kind of thing all the time. That is, "massage/stretch the truth" (her words) until she's called to task about the validity of her statement. Suddenly the truth comes out and she cops to having been "technically" truthful. It's easy enough to say that if not for the scrutiny she'd have rolled with her original lie each and every time. Otherwise, why not be upfront in the first place?

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  23. Brendan moves in for his first kiss with Jules.
    http://www.friendster.com/photos/1758819/5694933/82454

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  24. yeah, that response was downright smug, and--her new favorite tactic--passive aggressively fake nice. all that "have a great day!! xoxoxoxo" bullshit. makes her feel like she has some semblance of control over the droves of people who hate her.

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  25. Honey Mustard Nail DipMay 23, 2009 at 5:41 PM

    That music in the background is wonderfully evocative, and seems to echo the call of the loon(ies on screen). Ravel's Boléro? The tone of this film reminds me of those reality shows about tragic pageant moms and their little monster-darlings.

    I'm taking great delight in the first ripples of embarrassment over Jackle's appearance in this gem. I can hardly wait for the tsunami of humiliation to follow, once the full version is released. Did she make a big deal out of appearing in it during filming? I don't remember reading any hype about it (but then, I haven't been following her misadventures for very long).

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  26. Nony 5:24, you're a laff riot!!!

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  27. The only reason JA needs restalyne in her laugh lines is due to her constant use of the 'silent scream' pose. Maybe if she cut down forcing her gaping maw wide open whenever a camera lens focuses on her she wouldn't need Dr Bobby injecting shit into her face that should rather be used on women over the age of 50 or so.

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  28. This is like the first bit of interesting content from her since Nonsociety started.

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  29. @5:03: You're kidding right? Also, you are Julia Baugher.

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  30. Satan's law clerkMay 23, 2009 at 6:29 PM

    Anyone else suspect that her mysterious three day "vacation" next week is to get work done on her eyes? That would explain the "non-blogging, non-tweeting, no laptop usage" bit.

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  31. She is just so disgusting. Whoever said her true colors are showing in this video nailed it. So ugly, inside and out!

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  32. @6:22 lol. No, not Julia. But it's a more reasonable response than 'fuck off you condescending cow', which would have been my approach.

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  33. She couldn't really say that, though 6:31. I mean it'd be all.. pot, kettle. :D

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  34. @7:03 Like I said, it was reasonable ;)

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  35. I dont really understand why everyone has a problem with the expiration date comment. I mean...it sucks. But it's true.

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  36. @7:22 Because it's not true. Take it from one who knows.

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  37. You know what men love? Besides obvious desperation for a boyfriend (in evidence when tweeting about them constantly on a second fucking date), they love the obvious lack of self-esteem and inherent self-centeredness and foolishness implicit in obsessing over aging at fucking 28 years old.

    Good luck with this one JA. Also, go fuck yourself. I'm 30 and I look way hotter than your ass. And I would NEVER think about touching my face before age 40, at the earliest.

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  38. I mean seriously, she is the anti-christ. And if she ever calls herself a fucking feminist again, I am sending her this video 35 times.

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  39. These women all need to spend thousands of dollars on their outsides because their insides are so rotten. How much do you have to hate yourself to get cosmetic procedures at 27?

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  40. Christ... are you kidding me, 7:22? You seriously believe in that expiration date bullshit?

    I'm in my thirties, firmly over-the-hill in Julia's eyes, and I've seen firsthand how untrue that sort of thinking is. My love life is thriving, and a thousand times more satisfying now as a fully developed adult than as a still-finding-myself twentysomething. The same can be said of my friends.

    Unless your goal in life is to date a douchebag, it's nonsense to suggest that women lose their sex appeal, let alone their value (as her comment suggests), as they grow older. A woman who's comfortable in her own skin will never expire, and it disgusts me that Julia Allison perpetuates that myth among young women.

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  41. @7:22
    1. women don't have an expiration date. Women's LOOKS are treated as if they have an expiration date. Actual talent doesn't tend to expire for women moreso than for men.
    2. the "it sucks" part doesn't really come across when Julia says it - she seems to accept it as a given. And doesn't acknowledge progress on this front where even in Hollywood Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Patricia Clarkson, etc have all managed to have good roles recently despite aging.
    3. since Julia's professional ambitions are something of a mystery, it's unclear why she is fighting aging so much. It's not like she's an actress. As a "columnist/blogger/writer", why do her looks matter so much?
    4. Her solution to expiry is patently ineffective.

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  42. Amen Anon731!!

    It's so true. I date intelligent, successful, caring guys who aren't all about money and privilege, and they ALL have dated older women, or find them sexy. (I'm in my early 30s)

    She's a disgusting person, and she no doubt will end up in an unhappy marriage with a rich asshole who cheats on her. She sucks.

    Also, this from the NY Post, is it basically official that she had a boob job?

    INTERNET fame-whore Julia Allison is no feminist, and at the ripe old age of 27, she's familiar with many forms of plastic surgery. The blogger was a last-minute no-show at the Lincoln Center premiere of the HBO documentary "Youth Knows No Pain," but her wrinkles and laugh lines were on full display. Allison, who's had her nose reduced and her breasts enlarged, and her ex-pal Mary Rambin are shown in the film being injected with Botox. "As a woman, I know I have an expiration date," Allison declares. The doc, due on HBO in August, also fea tures Linda Wells and Simon Doonan.

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  43. Yeah expiration date is some 1980's " I wanna marry an i-banker" shiiiiit. I'm 40, and I date 40 year olds, 24 year olds, and whoever the hell else I damn well please. I feel and therefore look better than I did in my 20's and I'm a real life writer so even if I looked worse it wouldn't matter. If Jules hit the gym a bit and did some real work and got some real self respect she wouldn't be thinking like this.

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  44. The expiration date comment is from a 28-year-old woman who thinks she can pass for a pre-frosh, and who has such serious daddy issues that she fucking wears tutus and brags about it. Her face looks fucked up because of the procedures she's had done, but she sees it just the other way around.

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  45. I'm genuinely curious why late 30- and 40-somethings follow this 28-year-old's life.

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  46. My wife is 43 and blows her the fuck out of the water. Period.

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  47. I feel like this is the first time in a very long time she has not been putting on a front for the camera. In that second line especially ("unacceptable"), you are seeing JULIA ALLISON BAUGHER naked. My god.

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  48. I read Gawker. Without which, Julia would not exist.

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  49. @Loren Feldman. I don't think Julia is aspiring to be your wife.

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  50. What's your problem 7:47? Has any one born before 1980 passed their expiration date for recognising a trainwreck when they see it? With all due respect, peanutbutter that condescension up your ass.

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  51. @7:53 Touchy, touchy. I'm almost 60 and find her cute. I was just curious about others.

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  52. @7:47

    A better question is why Julia, at 28, would be chasing after Dan Loeb, who's not only in his late 40s but married as well. I mean, since you're asking questions.

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  53. Loren,

    Your wife a is a gorgeous, natural beauty.

    "Women have an expiration date."

    Fuck you, Julia.

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  54. Julia's clearly among us.

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  55. Julia's attitude is in direct connection to her entire life - that is, physically posturing and otherwise modifying her personality to suit men. Since she wants the type of guys that go for a) trophies or b) accomplished, self-assured women and happens to be neither, she needs to turn back time to remain fresh and keep that non-option open. Unfortunately, every procedure she tacks on will serve to make her face more plastic and unappealing, and the actual AGE number will continue to go up. Oh well. Perhaps at some point she can start referring to herself as a cougar and settle for the same types (douchebags) who prey on the fragile emotions and attitudes of such women. She's right in a sense, certain women do have an expiration date. She fails to elaborate that it's in those who have nothing else going for them but their useless vanity. Sucks to have your self-worth tied entirely to how you look, she'll be compensating for ages and that money is better spent on extensive long-term therapy.

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  56. Once again: women don't have an expiration date, but "it girls" sure do.

    As Julia is finding out.

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  57. @7:57 "that money is better spent on extensive long-term therapy". Spoken like a therapist in a recession.

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  58. I almost feel badly for her. She is clearly so desperately unhappy.

    Like when she said she got the restalyne because of "too much laughing" or something.

    Oh honey. Laughing and being happy are good things. Not things to be shamed for and covered up. Imagine if she spent that energy she devotes to ruining her looks to her business. She really would have "fuck you" money by now.

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  59. I guess this Julia's eyebrow realization explains her new ultra waxing/penciling ala Annette Funicello technique.

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  60. So true. Therapy would do more for her looks than plastic surgery.

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  61. Um, trainwrecks have no age observation-requirement. Human nature is a funny thing, and that's like saying "geez, you're 40, why watch a reality show with youngins?". Next.

    7:56 - wouldn't be the first time she was going after someone already in a relationship. She's soooo nice like that.

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  62. apparently oprah requested a copy of this movie for her show. countdown to JA's appearance on Oprah in 5,4,3...

    http://m.twitter.com/YKNP

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  63. Sure 8:02. Except I'm no therapist (and at 22 not even close). Call it intuitive, but it's pretty clear to recognize someone who's functioning at a pretty low and/or dysfunctional mental level. I won't even pretend I'm surprised you haven't noticed; that kind of cluelessness seems to be the norm in society these days.

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  64. @8:07

    Yeah, she's especially nice like that when the guy just happens to be a centimillionaire.

    Her radio-silence three day vacation this week must be plastic surgery.

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  65. @8:07 didn't mean to make you feel defensive. 'I like watching trainwrecks' is perfectly acceptable.

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  66. countdown to JA disparaging Oprah if that ever happens when she comes down on the obsession with youth in 5, 4, 3. :D

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  67. I'm sorry you felt that response was defensive over an honest opinion related to the preposterous nature of your non-argument. Whatever helps you sleep at night, really. :) Have a niiiice daaaaay.

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  68. countdown to someone on this site trying to wreck things for Julia by making oprah's producers aware of her reputation in 5, 4, 3,

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  69. @8:14 no argument made. So yes, a non-argument. A genuine question which no one put a gun to your head to answer.

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  70. wreck things for Julia? I loled quite enthusiastically. Thank you.

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  71. I know, right!! God forbid someone respond to a public statement on a public blog. Someone call the sherriff, STAT. This simply cannot go down.

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  72. She was just genuinely curious. Obviously this means do not respond.

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  73. How old are ya 7:47? Don't lie, genuinely curious here.

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  74. @8:24 Older than Julia's parents. Like I already said (see my comment @7:56), I'm almost 60.

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  75. If you're almost 60, why do you care what people in their late 30s and 40s think of shit-for-brains? Oh, you think she's "cute."

    Harvard boy busy tonight?

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  76. OH. I see. That's interesting.

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  77. Yep, it's Julia. Hamstrung by her own lying.

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  78. Confused as to why someone who found her "cute" would be here instead of following her at her own site. Hrms.

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  79. I don't think this individual who doesn't want us to wreck things for Julia, is Julia. I think it's the same old hag who's always in here. Her business aint doin' that well these days. She's got a lot of time on her hands.

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  80. Helen Mirren is laughing her ass off right now.

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  81. Let's send Julia a copy of Calender Girls!

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  82. Jankles isn't trying to turn back the clock. She's trying to realize the Barbie doll dreams of perfection that became lodged in the little divot inside her head where her brain used to sit. She may have a raging case of body/face dysmorphic disorder.

    Plus, she's a vapid twat. Since you can't buy a personality, she's chosen to buy a face instead.

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  83. "I'm almost 60" is not a natural response. Had you been truthful, you would have said I'm 58... Or I'm 59. Plus 60yo's don't type things like "soooo."

    Sigh.

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  84. Needles in my face, cupcakes on my thighsMay 23, 2009 at 9:05 PM

    Wonder what Ashton & Demi think about Jabber's incredibly stupid expiration date hypothesis?

    Yo, Jabs, I know you're reading this. Haven't you given any thought to all those "plain Jane" girlfriends of yours who somehow, despite their horrific shortcomings in the areas of body/face perfection, have managed to find real love and fulfilling marriages? Do you really think turning yourself into MORE of a high-maintenance fake-ass plastic bitch is the path to happiness? Sure, you'll look great in photos, but it's a hella lonely life. I would pity you, if you weren't such a cunt.

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  85. @9:01 "Sigh." I never said "soooo". Saying "I'm almost 60" feels pretty natural to me. But I defer to your anthropological expertise.

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  86. Hahaha Demi? AKA the Queen of Plastic Surgery. I think she'd concur you dumb ass.

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  87. Julia's idea of happiness would look like pure hell to a spouse or children.

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  88. it's a shame she's a psycho. She could've been married by now.

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  89. Pot Kettle Dumb AssMay 23, 2009 at 9:29 PM

    Comment Sheriff, 9:11 isn't playing nice with other commenters. Could you swing your majestic night stick and wallop that ignorant twat right upside the head, pretty please?? Tasering is optional, but I wouldn't object.

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  90. 9:11, you don't really think Demi would be friends with somebody who was constantly telling her she was TOO OLD, do you?

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  91. No shit, I'm surprised JA hasn't mentioned that Demi is too old to tweet. Maybe the age rule only applies to blogging.

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  92. I love the way she outlines and mimes cupping her breasts when she mentions her expiration date. I'm sure a lulzy video remix could be made from that move alone.

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  93. My theory:

    The ilikejuliaallison blog is absoute BS. It's her.

    She thinks she's so clever. Sad :(

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  94. Actually, 7:47, I'm 40 and I asked myself the same thing. Age aside, I don't care about age, but why do I follow this site about this vapid woman? My life is great, I work doing what I love, I don't have mean/ insane friends or people in my life, I've never been like her or wanted what she wants and Im not jealous of her. I guess: 1. I don't have the crazy drama of being insane like this in my life, on any level, so its fun to see her desperate need and fears that fuel that drama - from a distance. 2. There are underdeveloped parts of me that are childish and babyish, but I feel better about myself in comparison to her. And this is perfectly fair- she provokes everyone's inner baby by being such a baby. So I guess I'm indulging in my bratty inner baby on her. Better her than in my real life. And trust me, she wants that type of attention since she's all baby herself. 3. She's so amazingly awful that it's kind of fascinating. Every time you think she has a new low, she goes lower. You cant stand to look at it, you can't stand to look away ( hence the trainwreck description) . 4. I write for a living at home, alone, concentrating and working my little brain all day. Sometimes I like to blow off steam and relax I don't have co- workers or a water cooler, so this is sort of like one for me. And she's like the awful co worker who everyone hates.
    Thats as much as I can figure out. Have a great day! xoxox

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  95. @Anon10:10: "3. She's so amazingly awful that it's kind of fascinating. Every time you think she has a new low, she goes lower. You cant stand to look at it, you can't stand to look away ( hence the trainwreck description)." TOTALLY AGREED.

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  96. This is all offensive in its own right, but the worst part about this is that Julia fucking Allison somehow STILL seems to think she's a feminist, even though the way she dresses, acts and presents herself is all ABSOLUTELY unfeminist. I am so sick of women saying that plastic surgery (for no good reason, mind you) is feminist because "it's their choice." FUCK THAT SHIT. This makes me so unbelievably angry, and I sincerely hope any people who are considering employing her in the future because she can possibly reach out to a female audience reconsider. This is positively toxic shit.

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  97. All this plastic surgery stuff is indeed depressing. Our culture is so infantilized and image-obsessed now, and I don't know what the answer is as it all becomes pretty hard to ignore.

    But the disingenuousness on display here is pretty striking. Commenters are forever dumping on Julia for her weight gains and and aging, and now they are dumping on her for copping to those same values through which they revel in judging her. I don't think you can have it both ways, but I'm sure many think they can. And yeah, I know its because Julia is not being real, so unlike us.

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  98. @7:22: It is totally NOT true. I am 44 years old and I have more men hitting on me -- hot young men -- than I have ever had in my life. Aging gracefully and without chemical assistance, staying in shape and being a funny and intelligent human being is a real turn-on for men of every age. Clue the fuck in.

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  99. 11.37 - This is the issue as I see it: Julia presents an identity that depends entirely on looks. She promotes self-obsessed vanity, materialism, and the notion that women can only relate to men as sexualized, narcissistic children (to eventually feed off their finances). Her world depends on retaining both the cuteness (Disney, kissy faces, pouty tweets) and the sex appeal, which now requires, in her eyes, increasing doses of Botox and Restylane.

    So when she bloats and ages and flails, to my mind, it isn't the result of an aging woman whose body is simply going through the natural course of things. It's the epic fucking failure of all the ideals she promotes. It's proof that childishness doesn't fit a grown woman, it's proof all pink in the world won't cover an emotional void, and most importantly, it's proof that you need substance, self-awareness, and a modicum of sincerity to be an interesting human being. The rest, all that surface bullshit, just cracks and flakes, which is precisely what it's doing right now, before our eyes.

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  100. 1:35 = spot on.

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  101. @1:35 Brilliant

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  102. @1:35AM - you nailed it!

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  103. I pity these people. I am over 40 and I don't even notice the lines or wrinkles or whatever that they have a problem with. Now, I am now saying that I don't HAVE lines or wrinkles I just don't NOTICE them. Maybe it's because have more going on in my life that doesn't include just me and my face. I don't know, watching this is like viewing a different culture altogether. When Julia was wondering about her eyelids falling down, I actually said, who thinks about their eyelids?

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  104. @5:57
    Good for you. You're so much better than all of us mortals. Teach self peace at the Learning Annex.

    @11:37
    Well said. Thanks for being the one who does't say "F--". THIS page is toxic shit.

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