Sunday, May 17, 2009

Julia: She Likes Abuse!

A Tweet in apparent response to the outraged RBNS commenter who e-mailed her about her Hunter S. Thompson comparison (that's ThompsOn, Jackles, not ThompsEn) earlier tonight.

Part of me loves getting self-righteous people riled up. It's a terrible habit, it really is. But ...errr... why am I grinning right now? ;)13 minutes ago from web


  1. Julia, you are grinning because you are a total douchetard with no life, no real business and nothing of any importance to do. Sorry, girl.

  2. 9:10letterwriterMay 17, 2009 at 10:34 PM

    I just wrote back to her;
    Part of me loves getting self-righteous people riled up. It's a
    terrible habit, it really is. But ...errr... why am I grinning right
    now? ;)13 minutes ago from web

    Wow. Just wow. When did " any attention at all" become good attention?

  3. 9:10 letterwriterMay 17, 2009 at 10:36 PM

    I mean thats what i wrote back to her. Now I really have to go and work.

  4. OK, letterwriter, can you send the entire exchange to Jacy?? We want to read it! They'll redact your name!

  5. Don't insane people usually just grin? Maniacally?

  6. Julia,

    You are officially a 5 year old. Congratulations!

  7. Wow. She's so daft. And such a ridiculous hag. Tee hee! Smiles! I only WISH I had the ability to inspire such loathing. Her mother must be proud!

    Such a jackal, jackles! You really slay us. You got us! Shucks. It was all part of your plan. You are just always one step ahead. Also, fuck yourself. xo!

  8. This is completely face saving on her part. One of her more intelligent buddies must have clued her into the fact that she was embarrassing herself and she did an about face. We're talking Kindergarten level maturity here.

  9. She's one to talk about self-righteousness. She gets all rooster chested if you even hint that she's imperfect in any way.

  10. Sorry for the double-post, didn't realize I was in the wrong tab:

    Weird. In my personality psych class we discussed Dabrowski's theory of positive disintegration and what's necessary to form a strong and unique personality. Homegirl is functioning at Level 1. Problematic.

    From Wiki:

    "Dąbrowski distinguished the two subgroups of Level I by degree: "the state of primary integration is a state contrary to mental health. A fairly high degree of primary integration is present in the average person; a very high degree of primary integration is present in the psychopath" (Dąbrowski 1964, p. 121). Marked by selfishness and egocentrism (both reticent and explicit), those at level one development generally seek self-fulfillment above all, justifying their pursuits through a sort of "it's all about me" thinking; or, more simply put, they adhere strongly to the phrase "the end justifies the means", sometimes disregarding the severity of the "means".

    I really hope someone - anyone - gets this girl the mental help she needs.

  11. Remember this gem?

    "The reason half the world feels lonely is because the other half is pretending to be perfect.” Not me! Hello there! I'm Julia Allison"

    So since she's both halves, she's like, the world, y'all.

  12. Jules, what a small, sad victory. Because when you go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow morning, you're still going to be a hideous, fat hag nobody will ever love.

    You better hope Grammy dies and leaves you her estate because I see no other way you'll ever support yourself. I know in your heart your most cherished dream is to find a nice rich guy to take care of you, but darling, you're nearing 30 and you look like a bloated donkey. I am not hyperbolic in my analogy.

    Julia, Julia. When will you learn... the only way to really save face is to leave the internet for good and hope that people's memories are short.

    P.S. I can only imagine what your father thinks of you. Somebody should really email him all your blog entries as I have a distinct feeling he avoids reading your blog.

  13. It's a metaphor for her not being hugged enough/given enough emotional attention as a child by her father. She learned the habit in childhood "riling up" her conservative, strict parents and since she's emotionally stunted she's carrying on the same way. Sad :(

  14. @RG. That was funny in December. Got any other material?

  15. Now that I think about it more, makes sense. Born the only child, probably spoiled insanely as some fathers and mothers do their only daughter, then Brother B is born and starts taking the attention she was probably given in mounds. Father's gonna pay more attention to the son for some time, mother has to splinter off all her focused attention to the new addition add her personality (lack thereof?) to the mix and it's a recipe for disaster. We're seeing that evidence now.

  16. Not as funny now 11:01, you're right. Just more truth to it which is probably worse for her.

  17. RG: I laughed very hard.

  18. RG:

    Now, now, looks aren't everything and you must look beyond her chubbiness to see the reptile within.

  19. by self-righteous she means anyone who dare remark on her utter stupidity.

  20. If she really wrote that I think she seems really unhinged lately with the tmi comments and these replies. Why doesn't she ignore this kind of stuff? I think she thinks she's being clever and getting one up on people but it actually makes it seem like the opposite, like she's so bothered by the comments that she's lost all sense of normalcy and proportion and is compelled to react to what people say about her and to her.

    She thinks she's driving the commentary but look at how compelled she is to react in a hostile and/or defensive way to almost every criticism. Just look at TMI if you need some examples. She can't seem to let go of the criticism or learn to take it in proportion to the message.

    And she's leaving that crazy footprint all over the web. It's like the facade she usually tries to keep up just couldn't withstand the blows to her ego and finally let her real personality out. The only problem is there's a reason the real personality is usually kept under wraps, but in her rage she seems to have momentarily forgotten that.

  21. I don't think she's mentally ill. Her character flaws - vanity, self-absorption - are the kind than can crop up anywhere, and if anything has been driving them to insane lengths, it's a) the fact that she was skating by on her looks without realizing it; b) the idiotic look-at-me culture spawned by the internet.

  22. Okay, 11:01, I give you this: She is repugnant now on the inside. Are you happies? I go have sex with pet snake now.

  23. @RG:

    Yes, I am happies now. But also sad. I am burning all of my Hunter S Thompson books, because he is a big fraud compared to Julia. I was misled by HST and now I feel so used. I am sad but angry too! What is gonzo compared to lip-dubs with a plastic face and fat ass? Nothing!

  24. There are only a few ways to deal with the negativity she gets. She can admit to the reality of the feedback she gets and try to change, which I don't think her ego can handle. She can not let it bother her and just ignore it, but I don't think she has the real selfesteem for that, and her overly angry, hostile, defensive replies show how far she is from that option. And failing those choices, she can just try to at least give the appearance of not caring, while actually seething inside. I think she only has the emotional skills for one of those three options (and it's not the first two).

  25. Hunter S. Thompson's GhostMay 18, 2009 at 12:11 AM

    I knew the 'no guns in heaven' rule was going to bite me in the ass.

  26. By saying that she loves to get self-righteous people riled up, she is once again comparing herself to HST. Thought to say that Thompson only riled people up is a very poor assessment of his work.

    I haven't seen Julia Baugher produce anything as insightful or seminal as "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 ."

  27. "I haven't seen Julia Baugher produce anything as insightful or seminal as "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 ."

    You've obviously missed the "Oh, Child" lip-dub.

  28. Hunter Thompson would have enjoyed watching Julia, if she was running zig-zag.

  29. self-right⋅eous
      /ˌsɛlfˈraɪtʃəs, ˈsɛlf-/ [self-rahy-chuhs, self-]
    confident of one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others.


    Sound like anyone we know?

  30. Julia - craziness on the part of a "celebrity" is generally only tolerated when the individual concerned is stunningly talented.
    As you have a gaping lack of talent and/or intelligence I would advise that you stop making an abject fool of yourself and seek medical attention.

    We all know that you read this website - your every action appears to be a reaction against the comments that appear here.

    If you really are that suggestible then it indicates a certain level of emotional volatility that should be ringing alarm bells.
    Surely you would have to agree? :)

  31. Julia's being Captain Obvious to everyone but Julia. From this entry:

    "When I’m out in social situations, I’m an extrovert - but interacting with people absolutely exhausts me, which is why, if given a choice, I’ll stay in five nights a week. I have never felt that parties were “fun” … they always seemed like work to me. I much prefer one-on-one conversation. And now I know why.

    Then again, maybe this is just how most people feel. (??)"

    Only people who use parties for the sole purpose of networking and making sure that they are talking to the most important person in the room at all times.

  32. Exactly, Anon 3:04. She finds social situations exhausting because she puts on a totally fake personality. Contriving one's image is tiring. Although its much easier when there is only a single target to worry about - hence, "I much prefer one-on-one."

    This doesn't make you an introvert, you dumb twat. It makes you an utterly synthetic human being devoid of any substance.

    I wonder - why isn't it immediately apparent to her when she says shit like "parties are work", that she's just acknowledging the thing she's made a career out of denying?

  33. Vomitous post on Julia Allison Press on How To Be An Internet Success :

    "3. Select online properties crucial to developing your brand and make yourself known to them. Reinforce in real life.

    Okay, you’ve adopted a cat (or a Miracle Bra) to bolster your brand, you’ve begged your brother to program a gorgeous minimal site, and you’ve bribed your little cousin to sign you up for 800 different annoying Web 2.0 apps—now you have to spread the word, Dawkins (2.0!) style.

    This is where you spend your nights awake, staring into the melatonin-inhibiting LED glow of your MacBook Air, reading and commenting on selected online communities you’ve identified as crucial to developing your brand. Needless to say, if you’re a knitter, you probably shouldn’t waste your time commenting on gaming sites, etc.

    Reach out to the actual human beings behind these properties, using a strategy I call “F&S” —friendship and stunts. That’s really just marketing mixed with basic fifth-grade psychology —get their attention (for online types, it’s better to do so IRL—there’s less competition at parties than in their inboxes) and befriend them. When site purveyors think about whom they want to write about, will they think of people they know—or people they don’t? Um. Duh."

  34. I don't believe she's putting on a fake personality in the sense of some kind of game face. This chick has serious delusions of grandeur and pathological control problems. It's not an extrovert/introvert thing in the usual meaning. She goes out and finds it STRANGE that others do not reflect her delusions back to her. She becomes confused, and needs to be alone to reassemble her sense of self in a contained, familiar environment. You see this come out when she thinks her responses to criticism here are devastatingly clever and the end to all discussion. You also see this come out when she has the least bit of leverage in a professional situation and treats "the little people" like garbage and never notices the ill-will she has created. She's nuts. And don't bother feeling empathy for her problems -- she sees empathy as a threat.

  35. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  36. Now this one, I can't even be upset about. It's just too funny.
    Making a preposterous comparison, then trying to pass it off as an informed joke while not being capable of producing two consecutive correct spellings of the name. I can't stop laughing about this one.
    That this comparison is coming from someone who can't deal with things other than at face value makes it even more delicious.
    So, bring it on, Julia. Can't wait for "The WHCD is decadent and depraved", "Clusterfuck: The Strange and Terrible Saga of Social Networking", "The Glum Diary", "Tears and Bloating in the City" and whatever other literary milestone you've got up your sleeve.

  37. 3:04: Julia's attempt at coming off as an introvert who finds parties "exhausting" and prefers "staying home 5 nights a week" is really just an issue of saving face and sour grapes -- because she isn't invited to parties anymore.

    She is socially dead. Nobody wants her around.

  38. By the way, I'm a writer and I just wrote an article on adult ADHD. It wouldn't surprise me if Julia actually does have adult ADHD which sad to say, often just manifests itself as an unbearable person to be around.

    The inability to actually apply herself to anything that requires focus (like work itself), the incredibly impulsive and stupid decisions she makes, the inability to think before she speaks... even her appearance on TMI Weekly suggests she has adult ADHD.

    Jules, get some meds and calm the fuck down.

  39. I'm really curious to know how Julia came up with this episode, what prompted her to write this. Did she just learn who HST was this weekend? Did she walk into a bookstore yesterday (we know she wasn't holed up in her apartment!) and happen to see him on the bookshelf? Did a male friend cheekily compare her antics to his and she decided to run with it? What made her do this? I really think she has no idea who he was -- she has never expressed a passionate interest in any author except perhaps Tina Brown and Candace Bushnell.

  40. Julia's writing letters of encouragement and support to herself in the middle of the night again. Feeling alone, Julie?


    Reader Email: "everything's a big question mark"
    From: L
    Date: May 18, 2009 2:17:39 AM EDT
    To: Julia Allison
    Subject: Samson

    Hi Julia,

    In one week, I’ll be a college graduate and unlike seemingly all my peers, and contrary to everyone’s belief about this “burden being lifted from my shoulders,” I’m not excited about it in the least. In fact, I’m dreading it. I love school, I love learning, and I love my life here. After this, everything’s a big question mark.
    I’m moving back home, away from my friends and back to the same old grind. I don’t have a job back there yet and fear not being able to get one and just living an endless cycle of applying to jobs over and over again. I’m also leaving behind my first and only love of my life so far—we’re staying together, but it’s just so painful…and I’m still here!
    I haven’t even left yet and I’m an emotional wreck. Anyway, maybe you don’t really know why I’m writing this to you but maybe I don’t either. I guess it’s just nice to talk to someone honestly, who maybe doesn’t know me, but might care about my plight anyway. Plus, chances are you’re awake…Thanks for reading…
    From: Julia Allison
    Date: May 18, 2009 2:27:25 AM EDT
    To: L.
    Subject: Re: Samson

    You were right - I’m awake :)

    And I’ve been there. Beeeeeelieve me, I’ve been there.

    Here’s the deal: do not be afraid. (sound familiar?)

    Everything - EVERYTHING - in life is here to teach you something. The more receptive you are to that lesson, the more life can give you the joy you seek. If you don’t listen, life will try to get your attention in a painful manner.

    Instead of having nightmares about finding a job, why don’t you sit down - right now - and put on paper what your “ideal life” is.

    Make a list … like this:

    My ideal life is …

    List twenty things. Anything! Paint a very vivid picture. Be as detailed as possible - the more specific you can be, the better. (“I’ll have an apartment with two bathrooms and a pink kitchen and windows facing the east.” “I’ll eat dinner with my boyfriend every evening.” “I’ll have a career that allows me to use my talent for public speaking.” etc)

    Do it right now, okay?

    Then start to believe it. DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE HOW. The how is not important. Just focus on what you want - the end. The how? Leave that to the universe.

    Just remember - if life answered all of your question marks … what would you have left to discover?


  41. "DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE HOW. The how is not important. "

    Please, if there is a Samson (there isn't), think about the how. That is all that counts.

  42. The universe also has this way of exacting karma on people who do not deserve or show gratitude for all they've been given; for taking away systematically when you've become too entitled to realize how lucky you are. Funny how that works.

  43. "do not think about the how" - julia's NS business model, which obviously worked quite well.

    also, "If you don’t listen, life will try to get your attention in a painful manner". maybe she does have adhd!

  44. Hey Julia,

    Part of me loves getting disingenuous, small-minded, disingenuous, lazy, disingenuous, vain, disingenuous, and transparent social-climbers riled up! So we're a perfect match!

  45. New JA letter wirting campaign, the fomr letter:

    Dear Julia Allison,

    I ahve always wanted to ask how you run [redacted] right into the ground crashing with a loud bang. Doe sit take [redacted] skills. is it much time to master?

    What have you learned in crashing [redacted] to the ground?

    Love, your RBNS fans...swift kick in the ass to you..

  46. "do not think about the how" is easy to say when you have Nana bankrolling your existence.

    And you're a werewolf.

  47. The how is not important when you have unlimited funds to waste.

    Julia, hehe, you are approaching FIVE years out of college and are just upset about that. I also think she was reading a certain girl's tumblr to get both the Atlantic Monthly introspection article (specifically remember reading it on her tumblr when it went around about a year ago) and the graduating-from-college angle. This girl lives in DC and recently got married. Some of you may know who she is but I sure don't want to out her here except I'll say her first name also begins with a "J" and she's not a prolific blogger, but one whose content is superb compared to Julia's.

    I hope that sounded like English but I just want to point out it's another instance of Julia not giving credit to the sources and her online stalking of wedding photographs.

  48. "Try as I might, I can't look at a photo or watch a video of President Obama without tearing up or getting shivers.about 10 hours ago from web"


  49. Reblogging Julia worked because it combined facts with wit, and because Julia USED to provide "a manic amount of content to parse."

    Without the facts and wit, and without Julia providing any substantial content, this is just banal, grade-school bitchiness.

  50. This girl L, if she's even real, is just the kind of coconut-headed asshole that I worry about when I think about who actually reads and is sucked in by Yulia's farce.

    What a stupid, entitled, whiney bitch. "Wah! I don't want to apply for jobs, and I have to be separated from my boyfriend." Fuck you. Did you think you would magically graduate from college with a job and a house and a life partner and not have to work for it at all?!? That is just not the way the world works.

    I was where L was just 4 years ago. I moved back home after college with no job and a boyfriend who was living 3 hours away (and no car). I worked my ass off, hitting the pavement to find a job--any job--for three months before I found something. And it was 7 months before I found the job I really wanted. And, during that time, I maybe saw y boyfriend 3 times ... but we made it work. And we certainly didn't whine about how hard or painful it was. 4 years later, we own a house, he's finishing grad school, and I am in an incredibly rewarding job that I love (because I've continued working my ass off to earn promotions).

    You've got to work for what you want. Making a fucking list of your dream life and then visualizing it is just not going to cut it.

    I guess this is a waste of time. If Julia fucking Allison is where you're going to go for life advice ... you've already lost the battle, L.

  51. Julia's twitterMay 18, 2009 at 8:52 AM

    "I'm ridiculously excited to call my grandmother tonight. WHAT UP GRANDMA!?!
    about 12 hours ago from web"

    Hi Grandma. Please send me more money. xoxox Julia

  52. Melissa Sue, Julia's "reader email" is completely made up. Just more of Julia writing assurances to herself in the middle of the night. Certain Julia isms give it away, as they do every time. She is a really shitty writer and can't disguise her own writing very successfully. If you have been reading her and her "reader emails" for a while you can really tell.

  53. "Wake up happy, chase a cloud, savor a memory, laugh out loud. Whisper a promise. Whistle a tune. Fall asleep with a smile for the moon."

    Julia Allison is officially a retarded 9 year old. Chase a cloud? What the FUCK is her deal?

  54. She chases clouds, rainbows, and puppies just like other 1st graders.

  55. she wants to be quirky and dreamy and fun like zooey d guys! fail.

  56. The oh so quirky and cute shit is already old on Zooey. Maybe Julia should put down the tired old "ZOMG GUYZ! I love butterflies and hugs and puppies and rainbows but I am also sooooo smart! I'm like Drew Barrymore and Stephen Hawkings and Audrey Hepburn had a baby! Wheeee!" routine.

  57. She actually reminds me a lot of Mariah Carey. Without the money and the fame though, obviously.

  58. @Ironic Slanket: Ha! Fear and Loathing on the Blueprint Trail. Also I find it deeply insane that that she couldn't reply coherently to a real letter about he real issue of comparing herself to HST, whereas she found all the time in the world to mentor this perhaps fictional person. Its strange because if she found the inner strength to face the facts about who she is and why she is so shallow and self serving, then she would immediately get what she so desperately wants - a true connection to her true self. Its fascinating because its a struggle we've all gone through in our 20's - to decide to truly grow up - and its amazing to see such childishness holding on for so long. Yes I suspect serious childhood issues. And some sort of pathological narcissism. She's a one woman Day of the Locust. She'll probably compare herself to Nathaniel West next.

  59. Other great works by Julia Allison:

    The Bluprint Cleanses of Wrath
    Of Tutus and Men
    Where the Hair Pelt Grows
    Downtown Condo on the Prairie
    The Catcher of the Pie
    Flowers for Allison

    And her loving biography of friend Randi:
    Old Yaller

  60. nathanael

    but i agree she has multiple pathologies

  61. I'd like to see JA cover the Hells Angels. Maybe she can show us a more 'authentic' side than Hunter.

  62. I'm ridiculously excited to call my grandmother tonight. WHAT UP GRANDMA!?!

    Gangster Allisssoooon izzz in de hoooouse!!!

    "Fuck-knuckles anonymous".
    Julia Allison Baugher, founding member.